by Ben Alderson
“I can’t say it now, not with our audience.” Many soldiers stood around us. Hadrian’s flare has put the entire city on high alert. “I need to go and see Hadrian, then I need you all to meet me at the Queen’s library.”
A plan brewed in my mind, but for it to work, I would need everyone’s cooperation.
“Illera, a word…”
She halted back, giving me a moment to tell her what I needed from her. It had to be her. She was the only one who could help me.
She agreed to my whispers before promising to meet me in the Library.
The foundations of the plan that brewed in my mind were now out in the open. I would leave, with or without the Queen's agreement, and I would need the help of each skill our group had to offer.
*
I WATCHED THE slow rise and fall of Hadrian’s chest, mentally counting each one. I wouldn’t take my eyes off him, not wanting to miss any sign that he was getting better. But for the time I stared at him, nothing miraculous happened.
Two healers floated around him, placing a hand on his head, chest and stomach, which seemed to restart his breathing if it ever faulted. Gallion stuck by me, overseeing the healers’ dance and made comments, which brought me out of my frozen state.
When I first made it to the room, I lost my breath when I saw Hadrian’s appearance. He was laid in our bed, white sheets scrunched around his body. His face was peaceful. Not a single crease or wrinkle across his placid expression. All blood had been cleaned from his face, leaving him with a light sheen of moisture across his skin.
“His consciousness has separated due to the trauma of the Heartfire. I cannot quite reach him, and I worry that my prodding will hinder his healing rather than help. I am impressed he has held the Heartfire at bay for so long. The prince is stubborn,” Gallion said.
“He warned me, Gallion,” I said, trying to make sense of what had happened. "Before the procession, he told me of the darkness he was battling. Every time he used his magick, it seemed to chip away at him. Yet, I did nothing. I should have stopped him. I knew it was bad, but I didn’t stop him. This is my fault."
“It was the final straw that broke the elk’s back,” Gallion muttered. “You should not waste energy stuck in the worries of the past. I think it is clear there is only one way to help Hadrian now. And I sense you have already made your mind up.”
“The Staff.”
Gallion tipped his head in agreement.
"Hadrian mentioned something to me." I looked back to his body. "Have you ever heard being Soul Lost before?
Gallion's face paled. "Unfortunately, I have. It was as much of a myth as Heartfire..."
"Someone told Hadrian that. He wouldn't let me question him more on it. Now I worry that is what has happened to him... whatever it means."
"It would explain why I can't sense his awareness." Gallion leaned forward and placed a hand on Hadrian's barefoot. "He seems to be no more than a shell. Where ever his soul has gone to, I think we can both guess."
"The Druid."
Gallion's sad expression answered for him.
“I’m going." I stood up, unable to look at Hadrian any more.
“I know,” Gallion replied. “I should not aid you, not when I work for the Queen now. But Hadrian is as much a son to me as you are. You must risk searching for it.”
Gallion stood up and moved to the cabinet in the corner of the room. I heard the rustle of paper and watched him pull out a rolled parchment from a sack.
The parchment was yellowed and stained.
“Where did you find this?” I asked, running my finger along the lines of ink on the old map.
“I believe it found me. I was searching in the books and this was fitted in a shelf that I’d not gone through yet.” Gallion leaned over me and pointed to an image that I recognize. “This is Lilioira. And this”—he ran his finger up north of the map—“is the Druid Keep. If what we found is true, this is where I believe it is. The dwelling that was left untouched. It would be a risk going, but if this is what the Goddess showed you, then I wholeheartedly believe the Staff will be found there.”
I squinted and looked closer. If what Gallion said was true, the Keep was closer than I first thought. I’d seen enough maps to understand their scaling and knew that the journey would take a day at most.
“I could reach it and be back before the Queen notices,” I said, scrutinizing the page for as much detail as I can.
“Don’t underestimate her, Zacriah, she is the spearhead of Eldnol. She will have eyes in more places than you would realize. You won’t be able to just walk beyond the gates, not with the city’s current climate of panic.”
Gallion was right, but it didn’t matter what obviousness he pointed out. Sitting before the person I cared for the most whilst he is lost, I would do anything to help him. Anything.
“Then I won’t leave through the gates,” I whispered, possibilities flooding me.
“Would you do something for me?” I turned to Gallion, resting the map on my lap.
“For you, my boy, I would do anything.”
“Stay with Hadrian. I’d hate for him to wake and be surrounded by strangers. Promise me."
“I will not leave his side, no matter what.”
I wrapped my arms around Gallion and held on. "What if the Staff is not there...?"
"Do not allow your worry to deviate your mind from the task at hand. Go, look. You will know if the keep is the home to the Staff." Gallion pulled back and tapped his finger on my temple. "You will know," he repeated.
Each step I took away from Hadrian was as painful as the last. I wanted to turn around, to spare him a glance, but I didn’t. I would not say goodbye today. No. Not today.
I repeat that over and over as I leave the room. I didn’t look back until I reached the Queen's library.
Only then did I allow myself a moment to breathe and imagine the boy I would return to.
*
EVERYONE WAS WAITING for me when I entered the library. The moment I walked into the room they all stood with faces of pure anticipation. Nyah raced over, holding her dress from the floor.
She encased me in a hug. “How is he?”
“Not good,” I replied. “Gallion is certain his consciousness has separated from his body. The Heartfire has done its damage.”
“I’m sorry,” Nyah whispered.
"What can we do?" Emaline stood forward. "There must be something..."
“There is, I hope."
Nyah guided me over to the rest of our crew. “Hadrian is lost unless we get the Staff, but we know Queen Kathine thinks about that.” I pulled the map from my belt and unraveled it. “Gallion found this, and if what I believe is true, the Staff is being kept here..." I pointed to the labelled drawing of the Druid Keep.
“Impossible, all the Druid’s dwellings were destroyed years ago.” Emaline walked around a table and stood with her hands on Illera’s shoulders. Illera looked up at Emaline, sharing an unspoken word. "This map should not be followed."
“That’s what Gallion believed, but what a coincidence that the one remaining Keep is the home of the Staff. And it is where I need to go.”
Jasrov took the map and opened it on the table. He placed stacks of books at each corner to keep it from folding in. Then we each stood around to see it fully open before us.
“I’ve seen many maps of Eldnol, but never one like this.” Jasrov looked over the map and pointed to a different depiction. “It shows all the old dwellings that were destroyed in the great purge once the druids passed. I know this one.” He put his finger on a rushed sketch at the bottom of the map. “It is rubble now, but that didn't stop my sister and I from playing amongst the ruins of that Keep. This map is from the time of the druids, maybe even made by them. If it says there is a Keep over Lilioira mountain range, then I would believe it.”
“Even if it still stands, what makes you think the Druid is not there now?” Emaline asked.
"I am with Emaline," Nyah said. "It
all seems too obvious. Illera, when you remember parts of where the Druid kept you, do you remember it being near mountains?"
Illera's eyes shone as she relayed what she had told us numerous times. "All I remember is the dark. Nothing but the dark."
“It is impossible for the Druid to be there.” A shadow detached from the wall behind Illera. Emaline and Nyah reach for concealed knives but faltered when they saw who it was.
Cristilia materialized from nothing. “I do not mean to impose, but I thought it best I lead you into the light. I have seen a lot in my life. My ancestors were part of the few who cursed the Keep you seek...”
“A curse?” Nyah interrupted, moving her hand away from the hilt of her dagger.
“Indeed. During the great purge, the majority was certain that removing all traces of the Druid’s existence was the only way to heal and move forward from their hate and destruction. But, there was a handful of elves across the three continents who knew that was a mistake. It is why Lilioira holds such extensive documents and books that once belonged to the Druids. It was Queen Kathine's grandmother who helped store the documents and protect the remaining Keep from being purged as the others. In fact, she worked alongside the four Dragori of their time, using their blood to create a protective circle around it. They did this to ensure that only one with Dragori blood would be free to pass into the Keep once more.”
“Wait." I turned on Cristilia. "You knew all along, didn't you? You knew the Staff was being kept there?”
Cristilia’s face morphed before my eyes. Her delicate hand covered her mouth as if my accusation pained her. “No, only the Keeper knew of its location. What you have found makes sense. You could speak to the Queen, even she knows of this curse. Has the old empath Gallion not mentioned it during your findings?”
Emaline’s distrust for Cristilia was clear in her knotted brows and squinted gaze. Her knuckles were white as she held onto the edge of the table.
“The Keep's location is—was common knowledge amongst the council. But the Staff was shrouded in mystery.”
“As you are…” Nyah stepped forward. “Why can’t I read you, Cristilia?”
“I am Morthi...”
Nyah shook her head. “As you have said before. Let me touch you, let me read you…”
“Enough!” I reached out to stop her.
Nyah backed down, but not without a final sneer.
"Cristilia has helped us more than any other in this city. Show her respect," I shouted.
“It is fine. Nyah is right. You should not trust anyone. But I assure you, I want nothing more than to help. Let us waste no more time. The Queen is being kept in her quarters. But by sunrise, she will be back out, and the first place she will go to is to Hadrian. If you are going to leave, you must do it before then.”
“We haven’t decided if we are going yet,” Emaline replied. “I have a duty to the Queen. As much as I want to help Hadrian, the people of this city come first. I’m sorry, Zacriah, but I am staying.”
“I understand. That is why I am going with Illera.”
The entire crew was stunned into silence. Where Illera just closed her eyes and nodded.
“I will go,” Nyah announced. “Illera has been with the Druid enough. You can’t just tell her to go somewhere without asking.”
“I have already agreed to it.” Illera stepped forward. “I will go; it is my choice.”
“You don’t have to prove yourself,” Emaline replied, panic coating her voice.
“That has nothing to do with it.”
“Why?” Emaline breathed. “Haven’t I lost enough?”
Her plea took me by surprise.
“Nothing will happen, Emaline. I’m coming back. You heard what Cristilia said. The Druid will not be there, the curse prevents that. We will go in, get the Staff, and come back. I have Zacriah’s back and he has mine; don’t you?” She turned to me.
It was the first time since we found Illera that a speck of the old self came through. She had something to fight for now.
"I do."
“What do you need us to do?” Emaline asked, gripping onto Illera’s hand.
We took our seats around the table, and I spilled the secrets of my plan, giving everyone a task.
Nyah was to stay and keep Queen Kathine from noticing our departure. With their link, she could influence Queen Kathine's mind and still any wandering thoughts.
Emaline would stay to protect the people just as she had asked for. With Hadrian lost to us, that would leave the city without a Dragori for protection if the Druid came.
Jasrov would work with Gallion. His abilities may help find remedies for Hadrian. At least that was what I hoped…
Cristilia tried to argue against Emaline staying. But no matter her pleading words, Emaline put her foot down and refused. Before Emaline and Cristilia came to blows, I sent Cristilia to prepare a pack for the journey. We would need supplies to see us through to the Keep: weapons, food and clothes.
It was simple enough. A seamless plan that we checked for problems.
“For Hadrian,” I said.
We each looked at one another, nodding in agreement.
This was for him.
“NYAH, I NEED one final thing from you,” I called across the room to her. Everyone had busied themselves talking in whispered tones, as if the library would turn against us and tell the Queen of our plans. Even if she did have eyes and ears in this place, I would not stop from going. It had to happen.
“You don’t ask for much.” Nyah winked. “Tell me what you need.”
I guided her around the table and away from the group who fussed over the packs. Once I was certain we were out of earshot, I unveiled the last part of my plan that needed to be in place.
“The link you created between the Queen, so you could communicate. Do you think you could create one between us?” I asked.
“Are you sure?” Nyah looked unsure. “It is not as simple as you might believe. I will have access to all your thoughts and emotions.”
“Was that the same with Queen Kathine?”
“She had time for me to show her how to build a wall. It meant I would only have access when she allowed it, or when I asked.”
“Asked?”
Nyah took my hand as she explained.
“By creating a link, we are essentially opening the locked doors of our minds. When they are open, I can come and go when I please, not that I particularly care for what goes on in that head of yours. It is very similar to accessing your emotions through touch. When I touch you, I’m able to unlock the door and peer inside. It limits what I can see. But these connections are more intrusive. I don’t know it feels for the other person, but my consciousness will knock against yours when I am wanting to connect. But to protect what you hold dear, you must mentally close that door. Otherwise, it will be open to me always.”
“I can do it. Tell me how to make the wall,” I said.
Nyah shrugged her shoulders. “It is different for everyone. You will only understand once we make the connection. Are you certain you want it?”
In truth, I wasn’t sure. I had things locked in my mind that I wouldn’t share with Hadrian. But I trusted Nyah’s abilities, so I nodded.
"I’m willing to risk the secrets to ensure I have connection to someone near Hadrian. Something could go wrong. I will want to know.”
“We can break it when you get back,” Nyah reassured, reaching for my hands. “It makes me feel better knowing I am still with you in a way. It doesn’t feel right, you going with Illera and not me.”
“This is coming from the girl who told me to trust Illera.”
Nyah tipped her head to the side. “It is not you I’m worrying about in this partnership.”
"Then there is no need to worry.” I grabbed ahold of her. “I'm ready, and it must be Illera. She has skills that we will need to navigate. And I trust you to stay back and keep everything in order as you always do."
Her hands glowed with a ruby lig
ht that snaked up my arms in a twisting dance. With its light touch came a shiver that crawled across my body and into my mind. Nyah’s awareness filled me entirely.
“Close your eyes and open your mind.” Nyah’s voice was no more than a siren call. I listened and followed her instruction, imagining a door in my mind.
Open up.
Nyah spoke again. But this was different than before. New. It was an echo in my mind, bouncing across my consciousness.
I heard a knocking, and I reached an invisible hand to the handle. I pushed it open. As it swung open, fresh light burst through.
My eyes shot open and Nyah held onto me, smiling. I swayed from the dizziness that over took my body.
I wish I had something witty and clever to say as the first thing you hear, but alas, I am stumped.
Nyah spoke, but her mouth did not move.
If only you could see your face right now.
“What?” I asked aloud.
Nyah tapped her head.
If you want to talk to me, think it. Don’t say it.
Even in my mind, she was assertive.
I don’t know what to say, I thought.
That will do.
Nyah reached forward and knocked a fist onto my shoulder. “You are too good at that. Now, before I say the wrong thing and you start thinking about princey in ways that I don’t care to know, try and build a wall.”
Even as she said it, she dragged some memories to the surface.
“Imagine the door and block the open entrance. Do it in whatever way works best for you, then when you are ready, tell me, and I will try and enter.”
I closed my eyes again and imagined the door to my home. It materialized quickly, the door still wide open to the waiting light. I tried to reach for it and closed it with the handle, but it didn’t move. When that didn’t work, I tried willing it to shut, but it stayed open.
It’s not working, I thought.
Build a wall, don’t close it. Only I can close it for good. The wall will just keep me at bay.
I pictured it again, placing brick by brick before the door. I reinforced it with pillars of wood until a structure blocked the open door and waiting light.