She dug around for a second and then returned with something closed up in her fist. She sat in front of me Indian style. “I’ve been carrying this around for a while. This is yours. Tit for tat.” She opened her hand.
Another key on another keychain. ‘BAD’ was written on the white fob, just above a picture of a donkey. I laughed.
“It’s a badass key chain. I thought that you could also put the key to your badass car on it,” she said.
I laughed out loud and kissed her. She was sweet and tasted like panty droppers.
I thought about her other gift and wondered why I’d waited so long to ask her on the camping trip. I couldn’t believe that she’d known about it and waited for me to bring it up. How long had she waited? Probably weeks. How many girls would be that patient? None that I knew. Anyone else would have either come right out and asked or sulked around and been a total bitch until I’d finally caved.
That was the thing about Allie. She didn’t push. She was content to bide her time. And, even when she should, she never asked anything of me. If I didn’t know better, I would say that we were absolutely perfect together.
This girl was going to be my come apart. I was sure of it.
CHAPTER 20
Alexis
Adam’s alarm was screeching, but it sounded like heaven to me. It was definitely a more pleasant way to wake up then what I’d become accustomed to lately. I reached across him and smacked the snooze button until the alarm went silent.
I laid back and looked at the beautiful man sleeping next to me. I hadn’t seen him in days, and it looked like he hadn’t shaved since my party. His beard was scruffier than I’d ever seen, and his hair was a fantastic mess. It was getting longer again, curling around his ears. I wanted to touch it, but I didn’t want to wake him quite yet. I needed just a few more minutes to think ... and enjoy the view. I read the ink over his heart for the millionth time. Forever Joy. I’d always wanted to ask what it meant, but, like so many things, it still felt forbidden.
I hadn’t seen him last night. He’d been at school late, working on his film project. It made more sense for me to stay at his place since we were leaving so early. So I’d used my key for the first time and let myself in. Being in his place ... going to bed ... without him there felt surreal ... almost like I was playing house. With a man that I still didn’t know well enough to ask about the tattoo over his heart.
Adam
I was more than just a little pissed off. It was so early that the sun hadn’t risen yet, and the sky was even darker than my mood. I had only gotten about four hours of sleep, and my nerves were fried. But, if we wanted to get to the campsite in time for lunch, we had to leave early.
I threw Ethan’s bag into the back of my car and hoped that there was something breakable inside. When I threw Jillian’s in behind it, I was only a little more careful. My gear was hitching a ride in the trailer that Barnacle was pulling with his van, but between our four bags, a mystery box of Allie’s, and Ethan’s tent and gear, my car was completely loaded down. Eleanor was a sports car, not a Winnebago.
Carly had decided to take her little shitbag dog on our trip. I really didn’t hate animals. I wasn’t averse to pets when they served a purpose. I hadn’t figured out what Rubber Cat’s purpose was, but he made Allie happy and he was quiet. But Carly’s dog was good for nothing other than being annoying.
A few years ago, I’d agreed to watch him for a weekend. Based on his name, I’d been expecting something more substantial, like a Labrador or Rottweiler or maybe even a Great Dane. When Burke had delivered the 8-pound cotton ball, I’d wanted to slam the door in his face. But since a man is only as good as his word, I’d spent two days with the little squawker. When I had my back turned to him, he yapped incessantly, but then when I turned around, he would yelp and shake like I was about to kick him. He couldn’t even take a shit without crying about it.
‘I couldn’t tell her no; besides, dogs are made to camp,’ Burke had said. Sure, some dogs were made to camp, but ‘Mr. Big’ wasn’t one of them. With any luck, we would run into a bear, after all. Mr. Big would be the perfect snack.
Since I wasn’t about to let that dog in my car, Burke and Carly had swapped places with Ethan and Jillian. Now, as we were loading up, I was having second thoughts. I was going to be stuck in the car with pretty boy for more than four hours. I might be better off with Mr. Big.
I tried to focus on the positives. Aside from the stowaways, this was going to be a good weekend. Camping with the guys was always a good time, and the thought of having Allie all alone in a tent for three days about made my pants bust at the seams.
I was still thinking about busting seams as I slid behind the wheel. However, my mood took another nose dive when I saw who was sitting next to me. “Whoa, whoa, whoa,” I said to Ethan, without even trying to be nice. “That’s Allie’s seat. I have already designated her as co-pilot.” I looked back at Allie, who was already settled into the back.
Ethan looked at me like I had a dick growing out of my forehead. “I can’t sit back there,” Ethan said throwing a thumb over his shoulder. “Have you seen how tiny that backseat is?”
I shook my head at him. What a little princess. “The backseat was optional in ’67. I’m thinking now I should have looked for one without it.”
“It’s plenty big for us,” Allie said. “Heck, I think you could even get a baby seat back here.”
What. The. Hell. I felt like I’d just entered the twilight zone. I looked at Allie’s reflection in the rearview mirror and shook my head again. “Never gonna happen.”
If this was a test, I was going to fail. Every girlfriend that I’d ever had had eventually thrown down this gauntlet, and I’d had a few relationships combust over it. It was one of the reasons that I’d thought that Carissa might be ‘the one.’ She didn’t want kids, either. She said it would mess up her body. Though our reasons were different, we’d found common ground on the kids issue. Unfortunately, we’d been unable to agree about whether she should be boning my friends behind my back.
I continued to watch Allie in the mirror, waiting for things to turn ugly. Instead, she just smiled back at me. No, she actually beamed. I had a little ray of sunshine in the back of my car, and I wasn’t the only one who’d noticed. Ethan was turned around, staring at Allie like he knew something I didn’t. It was completely infuriating. If I took a corner fast enough, maybe I could eject him from the car.
The Holland Tunnel took us off the island, and it wasn’t long before I was hauling ass down I-280. Allie had filled her refrigerator purse with Hollywood gossip magazines. As the girls leafed through pages, their conversation was largely focused on some actress who’d been caught making it with her movie director boss rather than her live-in boyfriend. Since my interest in Hollywood only went so far as the art, boredom set in. Eventually, I tuned the girls out, choosing instead to focus on the music funneling out of my favorite station, Nineties on Nine.
Ethan was absorbed in something on his phone. Probably Facebook. He was such a princess. Somewhere around Scranton, he actually tried to change the station on the radio. I threatened his existence, and we came to a mutual agreement that he wouldn’t touch it again. Not unsurprisingly, the remainder of the trip was without incident.
We were first to pull into the Taughannock Falls Park, and I easily found our campsite. We were in the same spot as last year. It was good in that it was closer to the water. It was bad in that it was a hike to the bathroom. Allie was going to hate that walk when it got dark later.
The rest of the group showed up shortly after we did, and we immediately started unloading the trailer. The boys and I polished off more than a few beers while setting up the five tents. I’d tried to stall and put up our tent last. The more distance between us and the others, the better. I especially wanted to be as far from Ethan and Jillian as possible. Later tonight, they’d all understand why. Unfortunately, Ethan seemed to have an agenda of his own and managed to set up right by
us.
By the time we had the campsite the way we wanted it, it was nearly four in the afternoon. The sun was already getting lower in the sky and was somewhat obscured by the tall trees. Since we still had a few hours before dark, we decided to take a communal dip in the lake. I changed into my swimsuit and threw on my ‘Mother nature is a MILF’ t-shirt.
Allie came out of our tent wearing the tank top that I’d given her this morning and a pair of cutoff shorts. It said, ‘I’m outdoorsy in that I like getting drunk on patios.’ It fit her to a T. Both literally and figuratively.
When we got to the water, Allie peeled off the new tank top and stepped out of her cutoff jean shorts, and I sucked in my breath. I’d seen her naked plenty of times, but I’d never seen her in a swimsuit. She looked like a damn Sports Illustrated model. She’d been hot when I’d met her, but our Tuesdays and Thursdays in the gym together had paid off. Her arms and shoulders had the perfect amount of muscle tone, and you could bounce a quarter off that tight little ass, which was only barely covered by the camouflage sequin bikini.
When she saw me gawking, she shot me a sexy smile. “What? This is my camping bikini. I blend right in. Can’t see me, can you?”
Oh, I could see her all right. Unfortunately, I wasn’t the only one. The other guys were also openly gaping at her. I didn’t care about Barnacle or Dirty Dirk. They were harmless. I was a little more bothered by Ethan’s open jaw and considered rearranging that pretty face of his.
She was fucking gorgeous, though. I was torn between wanting to cover her up so that I didn’t have to share her and strutting around like a rooster. I hit the water fast to hide just how much I liked that swimsuit.
I’d had my doubts about whether Allie was a lake person. Some girls just didn’t like it, but she surprised me. She waltzed right in. Sequins aside, I might have underestimated her.
Once she got herself good and wet, she swam over to me and wrapped her arms around my waist. As I leaned down to kiss her, I looked over her head at the guy paying too much attention to my girl, and I raised my eyebrows at him. Then I flicked my tongue in her mouth and flipped him off for good measure.
***
Allie stared into the campfire in a trance, and the light flickered across her face. She was curled up in a chair with a beer in her hand. She was usually a vodka girl, and for some reason watching her tip back the beer bottle turned me on. Of course, everything about her turned me on. From the beginning, this had been the heart of my problem.
I rotated the marshmallow over the fire. When it was the perfect amount of brown, I pulled it off and presented it to Carly. After it met her approval, she smashed it between two graham crackers laden with chocolate. She handed it back to me, and I strode over and squatted in front of Allie’s chair. I waved it under her nose. My girl did love dessert, and, as expected, she came back from wherever she’d been. She took a bite.
“Hmmm,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Just like when I was a kid.”
Her obsession with food ... and desserts, in particular ... had grown on me. For some reason, I really enjoyed watching her eat. In fact, dessert had never meant anything at all to me until Allie had come along.
I held the s’more for her until she’d finished it and then she licked the stickiness off my fingers. Was it too early to call it a night? I thought that it probably was. I plopped down in the chair next to hers and wished that all of these other people were far, far away.
I took stock of my friends. Carly and Burke were huddled on the other side of the fire, making their own smores now that everyone else had been taken care of. Jillian was sitting on Ethan’s lap, and he was feeding her. They’d only known each other a week, but had clearly spent the past few days playing ice breaker games.
Brian’s new girlfriend, Krista, was telling a story about how they’d met. As guys, it was the kind of information that we didn’t care anything about, but the girls were eating it up. And, I had to admit, there was something about her that I liked. She was definitely a step up from the last girl I’d seen him with. Carissa sucked.
I felt a little sorry for Barnacle and Dirk. They were the single guys on the trip. However, they hadn’t lost hope. They were currently ignoring Krista’s story and scheming up a plan for infiltrating the campsite of some girls they’d seen not too far away. With the Swartzkoff plans they had brewing, I didn’t think that they’d be lonely all weekend. Since they were sharing a tent, I wasn’t sure how that was going to shake out.
Mr. Big was growling at the fire. When he finally gave up on it, he made two laps around our circle and then jumped up onto Allie’s lap. I was surprised his legs didn’t break from the impact. He was such a little shitbag of a dog, and now that he was sitting where I wanted to be, I really hated him.
“He smells good,” Allie said, ruffling his fur between her fingers.
“Oh, yeah, he had a bath this morning.” Carly said, giggling before she continued. “So Mr. Big interrupted us this morning because he needed to go out. And Burke, here, was not happy.” She reached over and grabbed his inked arm. He growled in response.
The dog, having heard Burke’s growl, jumped off of Allie’s lap and made his way around to the other side of the fire. He barked at Burke and then settled into his owner’s lap.
“Stop,” Burke interrupted. “You are not allowed to say my name and ‘Mr. Big’ in the same sentence unless you are talking about my ‘Mr. Big.’”
Carly rolled her eyes at him. “Well, I am going to talk about your Mr. Big, actually.” She looked at the rest of us conspiratorially. “So when I heard the shower going, I thought I’d finish up what we’d started. I was planned on putting his Mr. Big to work, but then I walked in and Burke was all bent over with the dog between his legs.”
Carly snorted. “He was sudsing Mr. Big up, but his gootch was all smashed up against the glass. I swear it was the most God awful thing I’ve ever seen. I think I may be unable to bear his children at this point.”
We all erupted in laughter. Burke was also laughing, which was one of the reasons that their relationship worked.
Allie stopped laughing and out of nowhere pointed her finger at Barnacle. “I’ve been wondering since I met you. Why do they call you Barnacle? It can’t be your real name.”
This was going to be good.
“Ahh, shit, Allie,” he said, looking embarrassed. “I can’t tell you that.”
“I can,” Dirk said with an evil glint in his eyes.
“Awww, man,” Barnacle said. “When will I ever live this down?”
“Never,” Dirk said. “When we were just out of high school, Barnacle and I were playing with a band called the Backstage Bangers. We weren’t any good, but he took the name to heart.” Dirk pointed at Barnacle.
“He bagged every groupie that gave him the time of day. So, eventually, this funk was growing on his dick. And it looked just like barnacles growing on the bottom of a boat. Hence, the name ‘Barnacle.’ It was better than ‘Ship Dick,’” Dirk said.
Barnacle got up and stood over Dirk. “Get up,” he said. “You are such an ass. Why don’t we talk about why they call you ‘Dirty Dirk’?”
As they shoved each other back and forth, I watched Allie roll around in her chair. “Oh, my good Lord. I’m sorry I asked,” she said. She jumped up between the two of them, facing Barnacle. “I’ll just call you Barney from now on, okay? I’m sure you’re clean now, right?” She wiped the tears from her eyes. “Hey, I bet I know a girl who I can set you up with.”
“Thanks, Allie Cat, but I don’t need your charity,” he said. “I do just fine by myself.” He sulked off toward the girls’ campfire down by the bathroom.
I had no doubt that he’d do all right. ‘Barney’ had a way about him. I did need to talk to him about his use of Allie’s nickname, though. That was only for me.
Shortly after the Barnacle revelation, Jillian announced that she was ready for bed. The four girls got their stuff together and started to make the trek to the commun
ity bathhouse. After they were out of earshot, I looked over at Burke and Brian. Dirk had tailed after Barnacle. “You want to have some fun?” I asked.
“I’m all in. What do you have in mind?” Burke said.
Burke, Brian, Ethan, and I slunk up to the women’s restroom and hid in the shadows under the open window. The window was high, near the ceiling. I crouched down, knowing that we would go undetected unless Burke made an ass of himself, which was certainly a possibility. We hunkered down and listened.
“Hang on, I need to wash my face,” my favorite of the four voices said.
“I do, too,” Jillian said. “I can’t believe you sleep in your makeup.”
“You guys are too high maintenance,” Carly huffed in response. “I wash it off in the morning when I shower. What’s the difference?”
“Every night that you sleep in your makeup, your skin ages 13 days,” Krista said.
“Well, shit. I’ve been wearing makeup since I was 15. That makes my skin, like, 143 years old,” Carly said. “Damn! I look pretty good for 143 years old. I’d hit this. Burke’s a lucky man.”
Burke snorted next to me, and I jabbed him with an elbow.
The girls debated various face creams, completely oblivious to the danger around them. I was sure that the other three couldn’t begin to keep up with Allie. She was probably smearing some $200 shit across her face.
I stood up because I could tell they were close to wrapping up. I pulled from deep within my diaphragm and let out a bellowing horror-movie quality laugh. The girls screamed and ran out into the dark night. Dumb ass girls. Running straight into the danger. We each grabbed the right one from behind, and they squealed like they were being scalped.
Carly yelled, “You fucking jerk.” And I heard what could only be a slap across the face.
I nestled my jaw into Allie’s neck and whispered, “Boo.” She flipped around and ran her hands around my neck. “Boo to you, too” she said, pressing against me. She was playing it coy, but her voice was breathy.
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