“Still green, baby girl? Nod yes.”
I nodded yes and pushed my ass back against him.
He chuckled. “Oh, so you want to play? Are you a bad girl just pretending to be good? Or are you a good girl who slips up some? That didn’t seem like a slip to me. Still think you should get a spanking?” His voice was light, teasing.
He continued tracing the ice around my back. It was melting and drops of cold water spilled off my sides and straight down my back into my jeans, some even into my ass crack, chilling me there momentarily.
I shook my head ‘No’ to the spanking.
He kept speaking, “Has anyone ever spanked you before? Think about the size of my hand on this ass.” He paused and grabbed my ass, rougher, nearly savagely. “Think about how hard I could spank you.”
My pussy clamped and released involuntarily. The ice on my back finally melted away, draining rivulets of cold water across my ribs and he dropped his right hand to my hip and pulled me back into him. He was so hard, it felt like a slab of granite pressing into my fleshy backside. His hand was still over my mouth but the ice had melted, and my lips and tongue were so cold. Abruptly, he flipped me around and pushed me back on the couch, on my back. He dropped his weight on me and pushed my legs apart, pinning one to the back of the couch, the other falling off the front.
His mouth was on mine almost instantly, and his lips and tongue felt like fire after the ice. He groaned and ground his hips into me in a circular motion so the crotch seam of my jeans dug into my pussy, separating the lips and pressed directly onto my clit. And I couldn’t stop myself from moaning into his mouth as I ground my hips back against him.
The hard pressure against me and his body over me and his mouth on mine and the whirlwind of sensations and emotions through the day all came crashing together in my body, tears stung my eyes and my hips snapped against his. It was overwhelming and terrifying and I never wanted it to stop. I felt an orgasm building. I was getting closer and closer and…he just completely stopped moving, lifting his entire body off me in a plank move that I distantly recognized from yoga classes I had taken in the past. A small but significant whine of frustration slipped past my lips before I could stop myself and he smiled down at me, genuinely amused.
“Baby girl,” he said reprovingly, “it seemed like you were having way too much fun for punishment.”
And in my mind, I screamed—Ahhhhh, what the fuck!!!! I need to come, you fucker!—But, I still had this need to impress him, make him proud of me, so I centered myself, took a deep—albeit shaky—breath and looked directly into his eyes with my eyes still wet, but said nothing. He brushed my hair back from my face gently, such a contrast to how he had been treating me that I was disarmed for a moment. He nuzzled his face into my neck, gently biting my ear lobe. His mouth felt hot and wet and electric. Amazing.
“I’ll tell you what, you can talk,” he growl-whispered into my ear, “but only to beg. Say please.”
He lowered his body back onto mine and kept skimming kisses on my neck and collarbone. I slipped my still-bound wrists around his neck and started to breathe heavily again, just starting to lift my hips to meet his, but he dropped the weight of his upper body on my chest and both his hands shot to my hips, slamming into me and pressing me into the couch.
“You’re having a hard time controlling yourself, baby girl. I’ll help you, but you still haven’t said please.”
I blushed and felt like he’d just called me a whore who couldn’t control herself even for a moment, and really I did kind of feel like I couldn’t control myself. Shame welled up in my chest, but he kept me restrained against the couch, licking the front of my throat and slipping his tongue lower onto my chest. Finally, he lifted his head to look at me, a searching look, maybe checking to see if I was okay, but he didn’t ask. He started kissing my mouth, like he had all day and no concerns. I wanted to move my body against him, wanted to feel him, wanted him inside me. I wanted him to drive his hips into mine, using his cock to pin me down. I started kissing him back with more heat.
“Just say it, Leda. I know what you want,” he murmured between kisses. He breathed out against my skin, “I’ll make you feel good.”
And it broke me.
“Please,” I choked out against his lips. Shame and expectation and lust and panic and urgency all flooded through me. It was overwhelming, but quickly forgotten as he rotated his hips against me again, still kissing me, his hands just lightly tracing over my breasts, brushing my nipples.
“There’s my good girl.”
His praise undid me, and within seconds an orgasm crashed over me. I felt obliterated and my eyes watered as I quaked in aftershocks. He slowed his motions over me and pulled back to look at me. Surprisingly, he seemed unperturbed by my tears, wiping them away with his fingertips. With his other hand, he released my wrists and I wrapped my arms around him, trying to get control of myself. My breathing was hard and against all reason, I felt myself working up to a real cry. It felt foolish. Who cries after an orgasm? What kind of weirdo am I? He’s gonna think I’m a freak. I focused on settling myself down, taking deep breaths and slowing my tears.
After a while, he propped himself up over me and smiled softly. “You did so well, Leda. How do you feel?”
I couldn’t look him in the eye and a few straggler tears still clung to my lashes. “I…I don’t know. I’m shaken? Drained? Like right after a big thunderstorm and everything is wet and soft and clean, like all that tension that was building has crashed over the world and dissipated.” I glanced at him, feeling insecure. “Does that even make sense?”
“Yes, it absolutely does.” He shifted over me to move back and I was suddenly totally aware that I’d come and he had not. I got this weird ‘not-a-good-hostess’ feeling that he should have been taken care of as well.
“What about you?” I asked, meaning that I was aware he could end up with blue balls, but he didn’t take it that way.
“I feel good. That felt good,” he replied, the dark gleam still in his eyes. Discretely adjusting his still bulging cock in his jeans and taking our glasses to the kitchen to refill them with fresh Sangria. As he walked back, he said, “So, that is at least a little taste, an amuse-bouche if you will, of what I want from you.”
Umm, that was ‘a little bit’?
“But…what about you? Isn’t it uncomfortable not…you know…getting off too?” Shit—so awkward.
He smiled, with a little laughter in his eyes. “I’m fine. If you’re into this, there’ll be plenty of times that I come and you don’t, plenty of times for you to reciprocate. And if you aren’t really interested in this anymore—well, that’s just not my thing. Regardless, I think the best part is the build-up. I don’t mind if there’s more time until I feel all of you.”
He stayed for a while, periodically checking to be sure I was fine…not freaking out. It was sweet, but another huge departure from any other relationship I had ever had. When he left, he offered to drive me to school again in the morning, but I wanted to ride, wanted to have a clear head for classes.
Chapter Eleven
Xander
Jem, Falling For You
She didn’t want a ride to school in the morning. So I gave her space, wanted to make her seek me out. But she didn’t. She didn’t text me or find me during the day. I saw her a few times, studying, ear buds in, world shut out. And I wondered if she was really reading or if she was running through last night—or if I’d completely misread her and she was done with me. Even though I wanted to make her come to me, I wasn’t about to neglect her safety for my pride.
I don’t want u riding your bike home after dark. If you stay to study, call me and I will pick you up—X
Was planning to study at home 2nite—L
Before I responded with some positive reinforcement, another text came through.
But thank u for looking out for me—L
A wide smiled spread across my face. She was starting to understand.
&n
bsp; My pleasure—X
I stayed at the library to study for a few hours, because I knew if I studied at home, I’d just end up jerking off again, thinking about her. I worked on some pathology, knowing it would hold my interest better than any other subject I needed to work on. I had to eat something, but didn’t really want to be alone. I texted Jason.
Dude, where you at?
The house. What’s up? More women troubles?
What a dick.
No. Fuck you. I don’t gots problems. I’m bored and hungry.
What you want to do?
You wanna come into town? Some food then I’ll kick your ass a bit?
I’m getting in the car. Might kick your ass first. Then eat. Dick.
Then eat dick? New diet?
Right…fuck you.
I laughed as I gathered my shit and left campus. I stopped by my house and changed into my sparring gear. We met at a taco joint—scummy but yummy. As we were finishing, I got a text from Leda.
Hey, Boss, how was your day? Didn’t see u @ school—L
It was a good day. I saw you. What are you doing?—X
When did u see me? Why didn’t u say hi? I’m trying to study, but can’t focus.—L
I smiled and Jason threw a napkin at me, laughing. I’d had very few actual girlfriends in the past, so I think he was enjoying it almost as much as me. I’m sure it kind of sucked for him and Christy to have me third-wheeling it all the time. I sent a message back.
I saw you a few times. You need space to think about things. Why can’t you focus?—X
Just can’t. Thinking about a bike ride. What are you doing?—L
No bike ride this late.—X
A thousand warning bells fired off in my mind. Umm… Hell no, girlie.
Eating now, but I’ve been studying, but can’t focus either. Going to my gym. Wanna come?—X
Do I want to come? That’s hilarious, ☺ but sure—L
Naughty, I like it. I’ll be there in 15 minutes—X
“I’m gonna go pick her up and meet you at the gym,” I said, getting up and clearing our table.
“I’ll call Frank. He’ll want to train. You’re gonna be too busy thinking of a bunch of different ways to fuck your girl.”
“I can mentally fuck her and actually school you at the same time, man.”
“Only because I take pity on you.” We both laughed, and he got Frank on the phone. He gave me a thumbs-up and I nodded at him as I left.
I was all kinds of stupid-happy, smiling on the drive over to her house. It felt too good and a small shard of doubt pierced me a little. I pushed it away, but knew it was my same old shit. I ruined everything. I’d ruin her too.
When I pulled up to her place, she came out to the car. I got out and helped her into the car, with a kiss as she passed me. She asked about the clothes I had on—the gi.
“I’m meeting Jason and Frank there, so we can spar some. You’re welcome to watch, or try it out if you’d like. But there are the usual gym things too, if you’d rather.” I kept the conversation light, didn’t want to push her right now.
“Don’t they have to work tonight? Isn’t this when the bar gets busy?”
“The bar is closed on Mondays, and Christy does the late news during the week, so Jason is home alone. We usually get together a few times a week to work out.”
The drive to the gym was quick. It looked crappy from the outside, but it was an old boxing gym, with newer martial arts stuff. I liked that the people who worked out for show, who went to the gym to be seen rather than actually better themselves, would never be seen there.
We paused near the entrance as she took the space in. Frank came in shortly after us.
“Hey, guys! Xander, thanks for letting me work in with you and Jason. I really like this stuff!”
I smiled and shook his hand.
He turned to Leda, “Hi, Leda.” The two of them standing together was hilarious. She looked so tiny next to him.
“Hey, Frank, how are you?” She smiled up at him.
Before he answered, Jason came through the door, loud and stupid like always. “Hey, kids! How’s life?” He shot me a look of amused challenge and grabbed Leda in a bear hug, smiling down at her. “Hey, kid, how are you doing? Christy says hi.”
Just as my possessiveness began to get wound up, he released her. He was still half-hugging her, but my tension ebbed a little.
“She really liked hanging with you this weekend.” He looked back at me, laughter in his eyes. He recognized that he was tripping my triggers, which just made him laugh a little more. “Relax, man! Jesus, I’m saying hello. Settle down.”
I grabbed her, pulling her away from Jason. I held her to me, facing them, so she couldn’t see how much Jason was ticking me off. I dropped my lips to her ear and told her where the machines were. “Why don’t you work out for a bit and then come over to the mats and I’ll show you some Jiu Jitsu.”
Jason and Frank just watched, amused. She nodded and walked toward the treadmills.
As soon as she walked away, I snapped my arm out at Jason, leaving my fingers in a sharp spike as I connect with the soft spot right above his armpit.
“Ouch! Christ, man, settle down. I get it. She’s not for sharing. Understood.” Frank laughed.
“Damn right, she’s not for sharing. Don’t fucking test me, man.”
Jason put his hands up in mock innocence as we got to the mats. I smirked a smile at him as I rushed him. He anticipated me and grabbed my shirt as he sideswiped my legs and rolled onto his back, taking me down with him. He let our momentum ride and flipped me over. I bridged up to try to drive him off me, but he dropped his weight on my chest. When I grabbed at him, trying to lock him up, he grabbed my arm and pulled it through to flip me onto my stomach, locking me in a rear-naked choke hold. I was fucked. I slapped the mat twice and he let go.
“Can you settle down now?” Jason asked me and it just pissed me off again.
“Fuck you.”
“What is the fucking problem, Xander?” He never actually used my name unless he was bothered by something.
I took a deep breath, sitting up on the mat. “Jason.” I looked at him, all my anger burned away. “I’m fucked over this girl. And I know I’m gonna fuck it up. I know I’ll end up hurting her. But I can’t fucking think about anything but her. I just want to be around her.”
He looked at me with doubt. “You just want to be around her? I doubt that.” Even though I smiled a little miserable smile at him, he continued, “Now you know, man. It’s a terrifying thing to have what you want. I get you. And if you don’t want to fuck it up, don’t. Nothing is preordained.”
He knew me and knew the right things to say. I took another breath. “All right, sorry about all that.” I gestured at the mat and he knew what I meant. “Show me that take down. That was awesome. I was midway in the air wondering what the fuck happened?” I laughed now, stress dissipating.
“It works better with the gi on,” Jason said and we got our gear on. He was a green belt and I was a yellow belt. We were actually pretty matched—he had more technical skill than me, but I didn’t give a shit if I got hurt and would come at him harder than most other people in our class.
Frank and I practiced the take-down. Throwing him was easy once I directed his bulk and each time I came up laughing after he tapped. His throws were clumsier, owing to his beginner, white belt status. After a few turns through the new technique, Frank and I squared off, with Jason coaching him from the side of the mat.
“Frank, wrap him up in an arm-bar.” Jason yelled, but I’d already moved. “There, now! Get his lead arm!”
Frank reached for me and I moved, slipping around to his side. When he lurched toward me again, I rolled him and grappled my way to his back, locking him up in the same rear-naked choke that Jason had gotten me with at the beginning of our session.
When we stood, Leda was there at the edge of the mat, face wrinkled in concentration, not really understanding what we wer
e doing. Wet tendrils of hair stuck to her neck and I flashed to licking sweat off her neck in a very different venue.
“Hey, girlie, how was the treadmill?”
“Long and boring, but this looks like fun.” She smiled at me.
“Yep, you want to try some?” She nodded and walked over to me. “Okay, lay down on your back. I want to show you something.” She laughed and I acknowledged that it sounded dirty, but she lay down and I climbed over her, straddling her abdomen, thinking of last night. “So, in this position, you don’t have any control over me, so I want you to get out of this.”
She paused then got a look of determination on her face and started squirming, trying to scoot away from me. “No, that won’t work, Leda.” I just shifted my hips with her gyrations and stayed on her. She flopped down under me. “Here. I want you to plant your feet and rock one way. When you do that, push my knee away with your hand.” I guided her hands once and let her try. She must have been a little annoyed because she pushed hard and I fell forward onto her.
She laughed. “I feel like this might not actually be Jiu Jitsu, but some other thing that involves you on top of me.”
I smiled at her, but still guided her through the movements. “That’s called breaking my guard. Now, get your other leg through.”
She did and I was in between her legs. She laughed again, “So, strategically, this doesn’t actually seem safer to me.”
I smiled and chuckled. “It may not feel safer, but it actually does give you more control. Now, you can control my body, right? Just lock your legs around my hips and see if you can move me.”
Wrecked (The Blackened Window) Page 9