by Liv Bennett
With the iPad under my arm and my purse in my hand, I run to the restaurant and make it ten minutes late. It’s totally worth it after such a hard orgasm, and Lena isn’t around to frown at me.
Ch 25
Mifepristone
My Cheshire grin is unstoppable. I vaguely remember reading about sperm being a natural anti-depressant. I feel as if I’m flying over clouds, my head dizzy with the whirlwind of my morning.
As soon as I walk into the restaurant, I glance around and just see Fran setting up tables. Taking advantage of not having Lena around to scold me, I go straight to the front desk and take my place behind it. I skip the changing room and just put my purse and Austin’s iPad into the desk’s drawer.
The heavy waves of frenzy slowly turn into a happy sensation of calmness, and soon, I start feeling the rawness of my flesh with each step, no matter how wide or slow. As much as I miss Austin already, my body desperately needs a break from fucking for longer than just a couple of hours.
The tables are already set, and no customers are in sight. Once her check of the tables is done, Fran walks over to me, breaking into a long yawn. “Sorry. I guess the two cups of coffee I drank this morning weren’t enough. How are you?”
“Great!” I blurt out and meet her frown. I’ve known her for less than a week, and she already knows great isn’t a normal reply in my repertoire.
She wiggles her eyebrows. “Everything going well with Austin, I assume?”
“It’s going okay.” My beaming face gives away my humble understatement.
She gives her head a playful shake. “All right, then. I had something for you if you still needed a place.”
“Yeah?”
“Do you remember I mentioned my friend who’s a single mother and helps me a lot with Emma?”
“The nurse. Ruth was her name, right?”
She nods in surprise. “Wow, someone pays attention to details! Anyway, I told her about you, and she said she could offer you a private room in her house with rent much less than the average for Boulder if you agree to help her out with the kids. Nothing serious though. Mostly when she works the night shift, she needs someone who’ll stay with the kids overnight while they sleep.”
“That sounds wonderful, actually. I’d really be interested in taking her up on her offer, but wouldn’t it harm your arrangement with her?”
She shrugs. “I don’t think so. We’ll still need each other for picking up and dropping them off at school. Besides, it’s always better to have a little extra help in case of emergencies.”
“If you’re okay with it too, I’d love to meet her to talk about it seriously. Did she say how much she wants for rent?”
“She didn’t say, but it should be a pretty reasonable amount.”
“Wouldn’t you want to move in with her instead?” I ask, still unsure if I’m interfering with her arrangement with Ruth.
“No, definitely not. I’d prefer to have my own place. She’s great, and our arrangement has been perfectly smooth, but I don’t want to depend on someone else’s whims and fancies. I need my space. I’ll let her know you’re interested. Maybe we can all get together for coffee so you can meet her.”
“That sounds great!” I stop myself at the last second before leaning over and smothering her with a hug. I can’t believe she went from stealing money from my purse and accusing me of being a thief to finding me a room with low rent.
As memorable as last night was with Austin, I need my own space so we can have equal say in our relationship. I smile at the thought.
One night in, and I’m already considering us in a relationship. He’d probably run for the hills if he found out I’m head-over-heels for him. I need to take it slow if I don’t want to scare him away, and the first step toward that is having my own place.
When Lena comes out of Max’s office alongside Max and Erin, Fran whispers, “I should get back to work,” and hurries back to the tables.
Unaware of my tardiness, Lena ignores me completely as she heads for the bar. She’s not as animated with the patrons as the previous day and keeps her stories and flirtations to herself, only interacting with them when they need something…as it should be, but it feels strange when it comes from Lena.
I make sure to follow her every move discreetly from my place behind the desk. There’s a noticeable level of fury and reluctance in her moves she didn’t have before. It makes me wonder if it can be related to Austin. I realize the wave of jealousy I feel for Austin hasn’t died down completely.
When I have Erin beside me, I nudge her ribcage and whisper in her ear, “Do you know what’s up with Lena today? She’s so quiet.”
She glances over at her and shakes her head. “She’s been acting weird since yesterday when she barged into the restaurant with her hair and makeup messed up.”
I remember the incident with a feeling of tightness in my chest. It was soon after my fight with Austin over his past with Lena. I try to silence the alarming thoughts. “Do you know what happened?”
Erin smirks. “She interacts with me only to boss me around. I consider myself lucky if she just wishes me good night after work. There’s no way she opens up to me about her life unless she wants to brag.” She turns to me with concern in her gaze. “By the way, could you find a place to stay? I’m sorry I couldn’t help.”
“Everything is fine. I’m staying at Austin’s until I can find a more permanent place.”
“Austin, huh?” Her eyebrows rise. “He seems pretty serious about you.”
“I don’t know really. It’s only been a couple of days.”
An affectionate smile curls her lips. “I hope something good comes of it for you.”
Guests come and go, tables filling then emptying. On my first break in the afternoon, I borrow Erin’s phone and step outside to the sidewalk to make a call to the sheriff’s office and ask for Officer Nate Johnson, who’s supposed to be in charge of my inquiry.
“Miss Elwood, thanks for the call. I hope you received the voicemail I left you yesterday,” Officer Johnson says.
“Unfortunately, I don’t have access to my phone,” I say quickly.
“All right. I believe we’re onto something regarding your sister’s death. Is there a chance for you to come to the department this afternoon?”
I wince. “I’m afraid not. I have to work.”
“It’s okay. I’ll just go over my findings briefly over the phone. The principal officer who investigated your sister’s case is off duty for personal reasons. That’s why the report wasn’t registered on our system right away. According to his affidavit of the case, our dispatcher received a call from a Fran Becker at eight thirty-five a.m. on October 3rd, 2017. She said her roommate slashed her wrists and was lying in the bathtub. She said she wasn’t sure if her roommate was still alive. The first responders arrived at the apartment at eight fifty a.m. They didn’t notice anything out of place in the apartment, and they didn’t find any traces of blood outside of the bathtub. Based on the examination of the scene, the EMT estimated her time of death between ten p.m. and two a.m. and declared her death to be from loss of blood through a self-inflicted cut on her left arm. We usually close a suicide case at that point unless there’s a special request from the family.”
“But, my father pushed for a post-mortem examination.”
“There’s no such request on file.”
It must be because he was mostly in contact with the nonexistent Officer Murphy. “Could you find anything on Officer Murphy?”
“Unfortunately, no. He certainly doesn’t work in the county, and the name didn’t show up in the state’s database either. There’s another point I should mention; the officers at the scene collected a blood sample from the victim and sent it out for forensic analysis. The preliminary report showed no anomaly. However, I requested a repeat analysis of the blood sample. The second time around, the forensics report suggests your sister was pregnant at the time of her death and had traces of mifepristone in her blood. It’s a drug used to
bring about an abortion. The forensic result in the first round had been either incomplete or tampered with.”
My stomach twists. Someone is indeed behind my sister’s death. Although I’ve known it all along, hearing the confirmation from an officer’s mouth freezes the blood in my veins. “What can we do at this point?”
“Moving forward, I’d suggest you or your parents come down to our department and file an official request to re-open the case. You should have a substantial reason to present the case in court. If the judge agrees, we can exhume your sister’s remains for a thorough examination.”
“That’s what we’re going to do. Thank you, Officer Johnson. I really appreciate your help.”
My chest is tight with fear when I disconnect. Ruby didn’t kill herself. She was murdered. The falsified forensic report and the Officer Murphy who doesn’t show up on the state’s database are proof of it.
Someone raped Ruby while she was unconscious. That wasn’t enough. He came back and slashed her wrist and bled her to death. What kind of fucking monster would do that to an innocent young girl who hadn’t hurt a soul in her life?
Ch 26
Austin Wouldn’t Do It
I remember to erase the phone call off Erin’s phone, so she won’t know about it—at least for now. I have to drag my feet back into the restaurant. My face must be whiter than chalk when I hand Erin her phone back.
“Everything all right?” she asks, worried about the sudden change in my mood and glances down at her phone.
“Kind of, just got bad news.”
“Something about your parents?”
“I-I don’t want to talk about it.”
Her hand comes up to my arm. “Why don’t you go rest in the server’s room for a few minutes? I’ll let you know when new patrons arrive.”
The shock stops me from protesting her offer. I simply obey and head toward the server’s room like a zombie. The room wasn’t built for chitchat. Besides the lockers and the coat hanger, there’s only one chair and possibly the smallest table available on the market.
I throw myself over the chair and cover my face with my hands. I need to talk to my father as soon as possible so we can file a request at the police department. He won’t want to hear my voice if I call him on the phone. He’ll hang up on me on the spot. I’ll have to drive down to Springs to explain everything face to face, without giving him a chance to dismiss me.
My throat closes up when I think about the moment I’ll be standing before him. How will I be able to tell him the horrid details of Ruby’s last days? The daughter he loved to death was raped and got pregnant as a result, for God’s sake. That is enough to send him into a permanent state of depression.
The guilt for not watching out for Ruby is already weighing me down like a heavy rock. I could have moved to Boulder with her and become her roommate instead of the entitled losers I shared an apartment with in Denver. She wouldn’t have said no. Hell, she’d have been flying high on cloud nine to have me close to her.
The past two months would have been completely different. She’d be alive. She didn’t have to die, didn’t have to suffer.
I want to bang my head against the wall over and over until I hear my skull crack. Instead, I cry. I cry, wishing she’d be back and none of the tragedies she’d experienced had happened.
Noise comes from the hall, and I’m quickly on my feet, wiping the tears off my cheeks.
Max peeks in from the slightly open door, frowning. “What’re you doing in here?”
I throw my hands over to the coat hanger, pretending to be looking for my jacket. “I wanted to grab my jacket. It’s a bit chilly out front.”
My answer seems to satisfy his curiosity. “Oh, all right.”
In case he might still be watching me, I turn the hanger around and continue with my pretend search. Of all the coats and cardigans in the world, a green Chanel cardigan slides past my hand. I quickly pull out the tag to make sure the cardigan is the one Austin claimed to be his mother’s.
My breathing comes out raspy. I squeeze my eyes shut, and open them again. No, I’m not imagining it. The tag clearly says Chanel.
The cardigan is the one Austin offered me while we were out doing donuts, the one I returned to him yesterday morning…the one that shouldn’t be hanging among the coats that belong to the servers.
I yank my hand away as if the fabric in my hand is made of hot coals. How did the cardigan end up here? Austin wasn’t carrying it when he came in here with me yesterday. He only had his laptop with him.
Then, who brought it in here?
Lena’s unexpected break yesterday afternoon strikes my troubling thoughts. She left in a rush and returned as a mess. Was she wearing the cardigan at that time? I probably wouldn’t have noticed if she’d been wearing a bikini. She stormed in and went straight to the bathroom.
I stop myself there. It’s too much speculation from one simple coincidence. There must be a logical explanation for it that doesn’t involve Lena straddling Austin in his car…or sucking his dick. Damn it!
I rush out of the room and take my safe place behind the front desk. Despite my best effort, the revolting images of Lena together with Austin bombard my mind.
No, Austin wouldn’t do it.
But, he was furious at me when he left.
He told me to leave the past in the past. I should do that.
But, he was checking out Lena.
My eyes fly down to the drawer that has my purse and the iPad Austin gave me so I can text him, and I vaguely remember reading an article about being able to spy on someone’s messages through their iCloud account.
I dismiss the thought on the spot. I can’t do it. I can’t take advantage of his trust in me. I glance at Lena over my shoulder. She’s at the bar, wiping the cocktail glasses. Something feels different about her. She’s not swaying her hips to the music like she always does. She’s not her usual, energetic, sassy self. She’s just doing her job quietly, lost in thought with a hint of gloom on her face.
My hands quickly reaches down to the drawer, and before I can control myself, I’m pulling out the iPad. A red dot appears on the Messages app. I don’t think twice before opening it.
The message is from Austin and was sent an hour ago. Hi babe!
My stomach revolts when I think about how sweet he was with me when I left him. If I go through his files, there’s a good chance he’ll receive a notification. He’ll know I’m snooping around. If he’s innocent, my distrust will ruin us. If he indeed has something going on with Lena, that’ll be the end of us, too.
New patrons arrive at that moment and ask for a booth. Dropping the iPad back into the drawer, I grab the menus and walk them to the booth furthest away from the front desk. Fran takes over after me and takes their drink orders.
How did the Chanel cardigan end up in the server’s room? What happened to Lena on her break yesterday?
I run my hand through my hair as I eye the drawer. Maybe the patrons arriving just when I was about to go through Austin’s files was a sign. I should just let it go and learn to trust.
I can’t. The incidents are too strange to be coincidental.
I quickly retrieve the iPad, as if there’s nothing else in the world that matters more at this moment. I click on the iCloud. I exhale with relief when I notice the iMessage app is on, while a part of me wishes it wasn’t.
I cover my eyes when my finger taps on the iMessage as if I’m witnessing a deadly traffic accident, yet I can’t look away. The messages pop up on the screen, with the contacts lined up on the left. This is a crime, a shameless invasion of privacy. I should stop it before I do further damage to him and to myself.
When my eyes land on Lena’s name on the contact list, there’s no going back. I’m so deep in my jealousy and mistrust, even the prospect of prison can’t stop me.
My heart jumps to my throat when I spot the text I’ve been afraid to find.
Can you take a break? I need to see you. Now! Sent to Lena a
t 2:34, barely a minute after he rushed out of the restaurant.
Lena’s reply is immediate down to the minute. Why? Are you done with Ms. Whatsherface?
Forget about her. Are you coming?
I have customers. I’ll let you know when I can.
I hunch over as if I’ve received a blow to my stomach. All I can think is he was punishing me. He didn’t want me to resist him. His male ego couldn’t take my emotional meltdown. He wanted to strike me where it’d hurt most. And he succeeded.
Ch 27
I DON’T BELIEVE A WORD YOU SAY
I’m going through an emotional overload. My brain can take only so much. As if the shock of Ruby’s investigation wasn’t enough, Austin had to ruin the short moment of bliss I’ve had for the first time in years.
I have no time for self-pity, though. New guests arrive, and I welcome them, lead them to their tables, ring up their tabs at the end, and religiously ignore Austin’s new texts and just keep standing at my spot until the clock shows eleven.
Fran, my savior, called Ruth to arrange a room for me starting from tonight. The only problem will be escaping Austin on my way out of the restaurant. He didn’t walk me to work this morning, probably to avoid a confrontation with Lena. He won’t enter the restaurant to pick me up either. I’m safe from him as long as Lena is here.
“Shall we?” Fran walks toward me with her coat and purse hanging down her arm and a yawn on her mouth.
“You look beat.”
“I know. I can’t wait to get into my bed, but I need to study. The midterms are starting next week.”
The whole day, it’s been all about me; my night with Austin, my sister’s investigation, my need for a place to stay. I haven’t even thought about Fran’s problems although she never complains. She must be going through a difficult time with her daughter, chores, school, and errands she has to run. Dark circles are prominent under her eyes even with her makeup, and her skin is lacking its usual color and glow. “Is there anything I can do to help? You can always come to me if you need someone to stay with Emma while you study.”