by Erme Lander
“Where’s the cat?”
He gestured. The cat was sprawled by the side of the room. Her brother. She reached out mentally to him and flinched as something brushed against her mind. The cat looked up, sniffing the air, mimicking Jace’s movements. Something jagged slashed across her brain and she cried out.
“You’re mine.” She steadied herself to watch Jace, he was stalking her. Mika drew her sword and another pain slammed through her head, sickening this time. “I smelt you, not that foolish girl. I realised when I met her alone. You’ve been laughing at me, all this time.”
“Why did you rape her then?” She could barely get the words out.
“Why not? An appetiser before the real pleasure of having you.” He must be mad, Lissina’s father was a well regarded noble, raping his daughter for fun was suicidal. The twitch of his muscles warned her before he moved. He grabbed his own sword from a table and flicked the end her way. His eyes widened as she blocked him. The weight behind his sword drove her back.
Jace was frighteningly fast, his face set as he concentrated on breaking her defence. Mika shifted constantly to avoid his sword, sweat trickling down her back. She used every trick she could think of to keep him away. She had to keep watching him, needed to know what his next move would be and yet their eye contact made a connection between them. One he exploited to the full, staring her down, flicking his rapier at her while he mentally assaulted her. The sexual twisting inside her and against all reason, she could feel her body wanting to obey him.
Mika tried to remember Lissina, bruised and bloody, thought of the damage he’d done to her. Belindros explaining, “A cat’s penis has barbs on it you know...”
He was male and without realising, her lips drew back and she breathed in his scent, strong in the stuffy room. There was something else too, another male. Her eyes were dragged away to look at the cat by the wall. It sat upright, staring at her in the same way as Jace.
A sharp pain and her hand involuntarily opened, dropping her sword. Gavin would have been disgusted with her. Jace had taken advantage and attacked, she fumbled to grab the hilt and missed. Jace held his sword at her throat as she backed away.
Jace bared his teeth, enjoying her discomfort and increased his psychic battering. She swayed and he reached out to smack her casually around the side of her head, fingers outstretched. She felt a slicing, realising with horror that his hand had claws on the end. Blood dribbled down the side of her face and a low growl came from the wall.
“Kaylan.”
A whisper and the cat attacked, ears back, face a mask of fury. Jace shifted away, twitching his sword to keep Kaylan at a distance. His mental buffeting lashed out at her brother instead, giving her vital time to recover. She could feel how difficult it was for her brother to disobey. His movements were awkward, stilted. Jace’s in comparison were languid, smooth, male… She shook her head, mustn’t think that way. She staggered away from them, tripping over clothes on the floor, tangling her feet.
Without thought she whimpered, a small hunted creature trying to hide from the predator playing with it. Too fast, Jace slammed her brother to the ground in mid spring. He whirled and caught her as she stumbled from the backlash of emotions, knocking her against the wall, her knees buckling.
Confident Mika would stay where she’d fallen, Jace strode over to her brother, intent on finishing him off. Kaylan crouched, unable to resist. She fumbled for her knife and launched herself at him with the last of her strength. Caught by surprise, Jace was knocked off balance and dropped his sword. Blood bloomed against his clothing from the slash she’d made in his back and she had a brief glimpse of Kaylan lying on the floor with a huge wound in his side. She’d failed. Mika sagged in defeat. She scented the iron tang of blood, another distraction she could do without.
A hand grabbed her and she was swung around as Jace used her to pull himself upright. He leaned against her, staring down into her eyes, twisting the knife out of her hand. His eyes were huge in the dim room, drawing her in. The pupils weren’t entirely round, they widened and slitted.
Mika had no space left for anything, not her brother, not herself. She fell into his eyes, trapped by the nearness of his body. Of their own volition her hands clenched, kneading the warm hard muscle under her hands. What was left of Mika’s mind screamed at the betrayal of her own body wanting him. His scent all around, inches away and his hands shifted around her throat. He battered at her mentally, forcing her to become aware of him and his wants.
Mika couldn’t breathe, he was strangling her, using her lack of air to break her will. Blackness in the edges of her vision, her sense of self crumbled and she started to stretch and yawn into the change. A wild exhalation to the emotions whirling around them, her skin trembling.
His eyes widened further, a gasp choked out and the mental assault stopped dead. She inhaled sharply as cold reality drenched her and his hands left her throat. He was staggering back, fighting something. Kaylan had hold of him, pulling him to the floor. The cat shaking the tall man, gripping him by the nape of his neck. Jace was unable to do more than utter a thin keen, scraping impotently at the cat on his back. Blood flowing from Jace, flowing from the cat, swirling together in streaks on the floor.
Mika fumbled, scrabbling for Jace’s rapier, wobbled as she tried to aim and missed. Jace jerked again, face twisted in pain, bloody rents opening up under her brother’s claws. This time she got it right, a last convulsion and he was still. Kaylan continued to worry at him as Mika slumped to the floor.
She stared as her brother slowly lost interest in Jace, panting as he licked the large wound in his side. Blood dripped steadily.
“Kaylan.”
He growled as she tried to move closer. She stopped, noticing his eyes, lambent in the dimness. He appeared exhausted, yet she was frightened to go near him. Male. She shook her head, unsure what she felt. A pressure coming from him. With horror she recognised the same compulsion she’d had from Jace.
They stared at each other. Nothing moved in the stuffy room, only the trickle of blood staining his skin darker. Every trick she’d learnt in controlling herself in the last few months she used, desperately trying to stay conscious, as Mika. She panted in exhaustion and fought the sensation to change, battering down the crawling of her skin. Kaylan weakened and the impulse faded as he forced out a moaning chirrup.
She could feel how exhausted he was, how the wound pained him and yet every time she shifted, he would growl, determined to keep her in place. Eventually he slid to one side, sprawling on the floor, his eyes closing. He nuzzled at his wound. She knew from her studies it would be fatal if not treated, but she couldn’t get close to him. His head flopped and he rallied himself to warn her to stay still again.
The door banged, Kaylan pulled himself upright with a huge effort and collapsed into a heap. Gavin ran in, sword in hand, followed by Belindros and Jon.
Belindros looked at Gavin and indicated Jace, “Deal with him.” He walked around Kaylan and blocked her view of both her brother and Jace.
“It’s Kaylan. He’s the cat, Jace had him all this time. He won’t let me help.” Her voice dried up. Belindros nodded, his hands gentle as they began to check her over. Mika relaxed into his ministrations and closed her eyes.
A trail, spreading like a stain in water, tickled the edges of her mind. She watched it, passively waiting, too tired to fight anymore. It demanded something of her and she moaned deep in her throat, skin trembling. Belindros raised her eyelid, checking something. Jon hovered, watching them anxiously.
“Gavin?” His voice calm, Belindros turned slightly, pointing to her brother. Relaxed, Mika lay still, re-closing her eyes, Gavin would help Kaylan. Mika closed her eyes and felt the presence grow stronger, warmer. Her brother felt close by and she welcomed him without thinking. She drunkenly stretched as the insidious tendrils coaxed her to change.
A tearing wrench in her mind drenched her into sobriety. She almost threw up into Belindros’ lap and clawed
her way upright. Jace lay by the bed, looking curiously small, until she realised he was missing his head. Her gaze swung to to the naked figure of a young man lying on the floor close by. His features were stamped with her likeness, his hands curled into claws. Kaylan. Blood poured from his throat. Gavin crouched over him, knife in hand.
Mika’s head began to whirl, not Gavin, not this. Kaylan… She grabbed hold of Belindros, pulling at him, began to rock, mouth open. Caught off balance, Belindros nearly fell into her.
He looked sharply at Gavin, “Get her out of here.” Gavin opened his mouth to question and he snapped, “I can deal with this now. Anyone else risks the King’s disfavour.”
Mika was dragged by Gavin, protesting and crying, desperately trying to see her brother. Outside in the antechamber, Gavin shook her, making her teeth chatter. “You need to walk out of here normally. For everyone’s sake. Lin will deal with things, you have to trust him.”
“You killed him.” It came out as a shrill whisper, the pressure in her head was intense. She shook again, a deep noise coming out of her throat.
Gavin set the point of his knife against her throat. His face was calm. “You change and I will kill you.” She shuddered, her skin beginning to crawl. Her lips peeled back, the knife pressed harder. “Mika, please, I don’t want to do this, but I will.” He shoved her back against the wall, “Mika.” His voice came from a distance, the call of the forest louder.
A bang and a scuffle at the edge of her conscious vision, “Mika!” It was Jon, his shrill voice pierced the forest glade she walked through. He grabbed her, ignoring Gavin’s blade and wrapped himself around her, “Please, do as he says.” She gazed down, the call fading, deeper breaths gasping through her lips as she dragged herself back from the edge.
He took her hand, “We need to walk out of here.”
She nodded drunkenly, content to do as he asked. Gavin took the knife away, though he remained wary. They walked out of the palace, she staggered and nearly fell as the fresh air hit her. Gavin kept her upright and marched her back to the house.
Chapter 21
They followed the edge of the mountains. Coming off the main road, they passed through the foothills in the wild country east of Ackbarr. Gavin hunted to supplement their supplies. Mika tried not to see the dead animals he caught and forced herself to eat the meat. Jon’s riding improved until he could ride his pony without Mika worrying about having to catch him. Gavin kept the pace slow after the first day, pandering to her mood and Jon’s inexperience.
Mika felt exhausted, bone weary. She refused to speak to Gavin, accepting his help because she had to, no more. Tight with anger at the betrayal of Belindros. Grieving for her brother and Ezra and her worry over Lissina. All that kept her going was her baby, her last connection with Ezra. It forced her to stay with Gavin. She had nowhere else to go, no way of surviving on her own.
She threw up every morning. Gavin hauled her back onto her horse each time and feeding her tiny amounts of food to keep her going. Jon got little more from her, she was aware of his worried face appearing at the side of her vision and the way he leaned against her at nights to keep her warm. She was unable to respond to his concern, deep in her own misery.
A series of buildings appeared on the horizon after ten days of travel. Larger than the usual village or hamlet and with an order about them unusual to a place of that size. The scenery had opened up, a salty smell in the air and the clouds brought a steady drizzle that soaked and chilled. As they rode through the shallow valley towards the settlement, she noticed it didn’t have the feel of a town or village. There were very few fields, although plenty of large barns for stock and storage. The population felt transitory, a multitude of tents surrounding the main buildings.
Gavin left to speak to someone. Mika sat, staring blankly, the horse restive under her. She let it crop the pale winter grass and Jon moved his pony close to hold her hand.
“It’s up this road, not far now.” Gavin had returned. She looked away, not wanting to acknowledge him.
On the cliff was an arching stone bridge soaring into the side of the mountain. Turrets pointed skywards, the huge building looked insubstantial and delicate, the only access up a steep path. Below, the sea roared, crashing against the bottom of the cliffs, the spray leaping high into the air. She’d never seen the sea. It seemed restless to her, in constant motion, she couldn’t take her eyes away.
“The Temple Library. One of the few places where men are only tolerated.” Gavin smiled as they started to climb the steep incline to the bridge. “Even the King hesitates before upsetting the priestesses.”
The word got through. “Priestesses?”
“That’s the best way I can describe them, although it’s not strictly accurate. The priestesses are tolerated in Ackbarr, similar in some ways to how Cassai is. They’ve always threatened to burn the great library rather than allow the knowledge to fall into anyone else’s hands. A large majority of them are healers. In times of crisis they travel to help, otherwise they stay within a certain radius of the citadel.”
Gavin was delighted to have her finally showing some interest. “They have so many books here Mika. A person could spend a lifetime learning in the library and never read everything. I’ve been here with Lin. The Medici support them, sending any further knowledge to their library to be filed for safekeeping. The priestesses tolerate them inside the library, but not within the complex itself. Wait until you see it, you’ll like it here.”
Halfway up they dismounted to lead the horses up the switchback trail. A small opening at the end of the bridge, large enough for a horse, no bigger. Several guards stood waiting, she noticed there was something odd about them. When one spoke, she realised. They were women, nearly the same size as Gavin. Mika surprised herself as a pang of jealousy darted through her lethargy.
They stopped in the large courtyard, Mika could still smell the ocean, a clean ozone. It cleared her head as she waited, making her sit up and look around in a way she hadn’t in days. Gavin jumped down, held Jon’s pony and offered a hand to Mika. She ignored it and slid down to watch the two women approaching them.
One took the horses and the other beckoned them to follow. Mika gazed around as they walked through the corridors. Most of the figures she saw were women, dressed in the same grey robes as their guide.
They were brought into a study, cosy with a small fire burning to keep the chill off. Their guide murmured their names and left them. They were met by a tall grey haired woman, lines deep in her face.
“I am Chiara, head of the Temple Library. I am told Belindros sent you to me?”
Gavin inclined his head, “Madam, I have brought Mika to you. She is Belindros’ apprentice. Belindros wishes you to look after her for a while. I have a letter explaining.”
He passed it over and there was a long silence while she read. Jon fidgeted beside Mika. Mika stared at the books on the shelves and wondered if she’d get a chance to read any.
Eventually Chiara looked up at Mika, “You will be as one of us. Dress in our clothes, do the same work.”
“I’m pregnant.”
She inclined her head, “You wish to keep the baby?”
Mika’s mouth dropped. The thought hadn’t crossed her mind. It was the only part of Ezra she had left, how could she not want it? She fenced the grief back in where it belonged and whispered, “Yes.”
“We will find duties for you that are not too onerous. You were Belindros’ apprentice, you may continue your learning here. That is what he has suggested as a cover. Many come to study with us.”
Mika gritted her teeth, she wasn’t keen on this woman. She found her pompous, but she still wanted to learn. “May I leave if I wish?”
“If you wish. You are not a prisoner here. The child may stay with the younger children in the complex. You warrior, will need to stay in the dormitory next to the hospice in the valley if you wish to stay.”
Gavin refused, “With respect Madam, I will only stay tonight
. I have promised to return to Belindros.”
They were waved out of the study with little ceremony. Gavin walked back to the courtyard and Jon dragged Mika with him, wanting to say goodbye. When they reached the courtyard, Jon clung to Gavin as he swept him into his big embrace.
“You will be safe here Mika.” She felt Gavin’s gaze on her. She couldn’t react, torn between their previous friendship and her memories. Mika turned her head away, seeing images of her brother under his knife.
She watched as Gavin lead his horse out of the gate and out of sight, Jon sniffing beside her. Another person appeared beside them to lead them to their new rooms. Jon was shown to his quarters, close to the courtyard and Mika promised to come and see him as soon as she’d been shown hers.
Her room was smaller than her room in Ackbarr, more austere. A set of grey robes on the bed, she refused to wear them for the moment. The thought of conforming dragged her spirits down. She opened the shutters and looked out towards the sea. A spray of damp greeted her and the endlessly moving animal down below, a restless mass of grey. Little could be heard over the wind whistling and the roaring of the sea.
Her face healed, four long scars down the side and a large nick close to her eye. She was lucky, she was told by the healer, not to have lost the eye. Her stomach grew rounder, a little at a time. Her anxiety over losing her baby never quite left her, despite the constant attentions of those skilled in childbirth. The sickness in the morning stopped and she began to make friends with the younger of the priestesses. She let her hair grow, having to flick it out of her eyes, not worrying about bleaching it.
Concerns about the birth began to affect her, her dreams centred around finding a place to nest and hide, less of hunting. Despite Gavin’s words, she never felt quite safe. She wanted to be at home and with a shock realised she thought of Ackbarr as being her home, not Cassai. She missed the bustle of the streets, the singing in the house and longed to go back, despite still being angry with Belindros.