Candace followed her mother to a bench where her father soon joined them, carrying a plastic bin with her shoes, hoodie, and purse. She could tell from the way he dropped the bin down in front of her that he was angry. Without a word, Candace started to put on her shoes, dreading the interrogation she knew was coming as soon as they got into the car.
“I’m here to post bail for my cousin.” Candace heard the familiar voice and looked up to see Keenan standing at the counter. Her heart skipped a beat as she quickly looked back down, careful not to let on that she knew who he was. Toby’s here, she silently rejoiced. At least she knew where he was and that he was going to be bailed out. Thank god they hadn’t carted him away to county jail or something.
Candace nonchalantly gazed up again and saw Keenan looking at her. They exchanged a brief glance and both turned back to what they were doing, keeping their secret. It worked. Her parents had no idea there was any connection between them.
“Let’s get out of here,” Kurt said as Candace slid her arms into her hoodie and grabbed her purse. Candace was silent in the car on the way home, refusing to talk at all about where she’d been or who she’d been staying with. She knew they’d be furious if they learned anything at all about Toby, and she wanted to make sure she didn’t get him into more trouble than she already had. Needless to say, this just infuriated her parents, and by the time they arrived home, she could tell they’d both had it.
“We are going to talk about this whether you want to or not, Candy,” Kurt said authoritatively as they walked from the car to the front door. Candace just let out an exaggerated sigh.
Andrew, who had heard the door open, came rushing down the stairs and threw his arms around his older sister, almost knocking her over. Candace couldn’t help but smile a little. She hadn’t realized it but she’d actually missed the little pest, and it was nice to be welcomed home instead of bitched at.
“Candy! You’re back! I missed you so much!” Andrew said as he tightened his squeeze on her. Damn, he’s getting strong, she thought.
“Andrew, honey, your dad and I need to talk to Candy alone, okay?”
Andrew continued to hold Candace. “Don’t leave again, all right?” As he looked up at her, she could see the glimmer of fear that lingered in his eyes and she knew he’d been worried about her too.
His plea touched her, but she wasn’t going to make any promises. All she could think about was whether or not Toby would ever talk to her again. She felt incredibly guilty for putting him in the situation he was in. If she hadn’t taken off her seat belt and leaned across to kiss him, they’d probably be back at his place right now, chilling. She wasn’t sure what the whole thing was with the bench warrant and the DUI, but from Toby’s reaction, she gathered there was some type of mistake involved. From what she’d seen, Toby had been nothing but responsible. Even after he took her to the club on Sunset, he stopped drinking about an hour before they left so he’d be okay to drive. When she’d asked him why he didn’t want more champagne, he’d told her that it was up to him to make sure they got back in one piece.
“You think I’d do something to jeopardize that pretty little face of yours?” he’d asked as he caressed her cheek. “I’m going to take care of you. . . . You know that, right? You’ll always feel safe with me.”
Candace did feel safe with him. She trusted him implicitly. Even though it was a short time to know and trust someone, the chemistry they had was stronger than she’d ever felt with anyone before. At least it had been. All she could think about now was whether he’d be so upset that he’d want nothing more to do with her. She couldn’t bear the thought of that and the only thing she wanted to do was call him and see if he’d answer his phone. But she couldn’t do that because she had her parents breathing down her neck, demanding details that she knew she couldn’t give.
“We’ll chat later, okay?” Candace whispered to her little brother, who still gripped her in a bear hug. Andrew let her go and reluctantly went into the other room.
Her father repeated the question he’d already asked twice on the car ride home. “Enough with the silent treatment, Candy. Time for some answers. Who was the guy you were arrested with?”
“Have you been staying with him?” her mom chimed in. Well this is interesting, Candace thought. She hadn’t been yelled at by both parents at the same time since before they split. It felt the way it used to.
“No,” Candy lied. “He was just a nice guy who gave me a ride. I’d never met him before.” On the way home, she’d concocted a complex story about where she’d been staying and what she’d been doing, and none of it involved Toby. She was going to say she’d slept in her car and snuck in to the local YMCA to take a shower.
“You got into a car with some guy you don’t even know?” Her mother gasped, wringing her thin hands together.
Candace crossed her arms and gazed off into the distance, pointedly tuning them out. This is exactly why I bailed out of here, she thought. My parents will never understand. And yes, I did get into a car with someone I didn’t know and guess what? He’s amazing and he’s helping me find my mom and I’m totally head over heels for him. She knew she couldn’t say any of what she was thinking, though, so she chose to plead the Fifth and say nothing at all.
“Where’s your car, Candace?” Kurt asked. He only called her Candace instead of Candy when he was really pissed off. Crap! she thought. She’d forgotten about the car. It was still parked in Toby’s garage, and she knew she couldn’t be honest about that.
“I loaned it to someone. I’ll get it back,” she said, weaving the car into the lie she’d already committed to.
“Who did you loan it to?” her dad asked.
“You don’t know him!”
“I want a name. Now,” her father said in a deep voice. It was obvious he was coming to the end of his patience.
“Where have you been for the last two days?” her mother demanded.
There was no way Candace was going to answer that question. As a matter of fact, she wasn’t going to answer any more questions at all. Turning on her heel, she completely ignored her mother and started to head for the stairs.
Irate, her mom grabbed her arm and spun her back around. Candace’s eyes widened with shock and she yanked her arm away. She couldn’t believe her mother actually grabbed her! She’d never done that before. “Keep your hands off me!” Candace screamed, and raced up the stairs.
“Candy!” her father called out. Candace stopped midway up and turned to look at him.
“What? I hate her!” she yelled. As the words came out, all the pain and anger she felt toward her parents, all the guilt she felt about Toby, all the anxiety that he’d never want to see her again, came boiling to the surface and she couldn’t hold back the tears. Sobbing, she went into her bedroom and slammed the door.
As she leaned against the door, she could hear her mother say, “She can’t just do whatever she wants!” Yes, I can! Candace thought. And there’s nothing you can do to stop it!
Candace pulled Mike Foster’s business card from her purse and entered his numbers into the phone. It had been less than five hours since she’d hired him but she was desperate to find out if he’d made progress. Once she found her real mother, she could leave her parents behind for good.
Mike’s line had just started to ring when she heard a loud knock on her bedroom door. Candace quickly hung up, not wanting her parents to know who she was trying to call. She slid the business card between her mattress and box spring.
“Candy, can I come in, please?” her father asked. Candace just wiped her eyes and sat in silence. She didn’t want to talk right now to anyone except Mike Foster or Toby.
Kurt entered and stood in the doorway. Candace was waiting for him to yell at her, but instead he sat down next to her on the bed. “Talk to me, sweetie,” he said.
“There’s nothing to talk about,” she said in a monotone voice. “You guys lied to me. I’m not your kid. That’s all there is to it.”
<
br /> “Your mother and I both love you. We always have.”
“Mom doesn’t love me,” Candace said without thinking. “Things were better when you were here.” Deep down, she wanted her father to regret breaking up the family, to realize that he was partly responsible for how tense her relationship with her mother had become since he left.
“You’re not being fair to her. She’s been worried sick that something happened to you. She was in tears when she called me.”
“I can’t do this with her anymore. She wants to control everything. You know how she is. Of all people, you should understand why I want to get away from her. She used to nag at you the same way.” Candace thought her father would agree but he gave her an ambiguous look.
“Your mother did complain a lot when we were together, but I gave her a lot to complain about. There was a lot going on between us that you and Andrew don’t know about. And you don’t need to know. She didn’t drive me away. Our marriage had been falling apart for a long time, and she was actually the one who tried to hold it together after I gave up.” Candace felt her heart sink in her chest. It made her angry that her father would take her mom’s side. All this time, she’d held on to the fact that her mother had annoyed her father the same way she’d annoyed her. Everything was her mother’s fault. “Your relationship with your mother is different from mine. She’s been a great mother to you. The best. And what you’re doing to her is completely unacceptable.” His words made Candace feel even angrier and guiltier than before. Now her father was basically calling her a failure too? Telling her that she was the one being unfair? Screw him. He could’ve told her she was adopted but he didn’t. He was just as culpable in that sense as her mom was.
“I’m always the one who’s wrong, aren’t I?” she hissed with contempt.
“No. You’re right that we should’ve told you about the adoption earlier. We made a mistake and we both wish we would’ve handled it differently. But screaming at your mom and brother and disappearing for two days is not the way to handle it. You need to let go of this anger you have toward her. She doesn’t deserve it.”
“How would you know what it’s like? You’re not even here.” She hoped her words would hurt him. She wanted him to feel as bad as she did. No one ever seemed to feel as bad as she did.
“Do you want to live with me? In San Diego?” The question surprised Candace. Now? Now he’s inviting her to live with him? He’d never offered that before. Last week, she would have jumped at the chance. But now, everything was different. She’d met Toby. And she was on a mission to find her real mom. Candace didn’t belong in San Diego with her father anymore. She belonged by Toby’s side.
“I don’t know what I want,” she lied.
Her dad nodded. “Put some thought into it. But know this . . . I love you more than anything. So does your mom and Andrew. It doesn’t matter who gave birth to you. You’re our child, part of our family. See, when we first got married, your mother wanted a baby so badly. She—”
“I don’t want to hear this. I really don’t,” Candace interrupted, trying not to tear up. She’d made her decision to separate from this family and find a new one. She knew hearing stories about how much they loved her and about how happy they were when they picked her up from the adoption agency or whatever would just make her feel conflicted. It was better to move on and never look back.
Her father was a little taken aback. “Well, when you’re ready to hear it, I’ll tell you,” he said in an almost soothing tone. She nodded without saying anything else. He kissed her on the forehead and stood up.
“Are you leaving now?” she asked. A part of her wondered if her running away had maybe somehow made her parents realize they wanted to get back together. Maybe the scare of losing a child had jolted them enough that they’d united under a common cause. It wouldn’t change anything for her, but at least her little brother would have his parents together again.
“Tomorrow morning. I want to spend a little time with Andrew, grab a pizza or something. Do you want to come?” Candace was disappointed. Even running away wasn’t enough to make her father want to come back to the family. If what he’d said was true, that her mother had been the one trying to keep their marriage together, then why didn’t he try harder? It was too much to take in. And what good would it do anyway?
“Not really.” The idea of pretending to be one big happy family when they were anything but seemed fake and trite, and Candace wanted nothing to do with it.
“I would really like the four of us to go out and have a nice evening. Will you please do that?” Why bother? Does he somehow think sharing a greasy pepperoni pie would fix everything that’s broken in our family? He can’t be that stupid. But she knew the only way she’d ever get back to Toby was if she played by the rules and made it seem like she wouldn’t run off again first chance she had. She needed them to leave her alone long enough that she could plan her escape. And this time, it would be permanent. Agreeing to this ridiculous pizza outing might help. Anything to get her back to Toby as quickly as possible.
“Fine,” she replied. “I’ll go, but I’m not going to pretend to have a good time.”
“Fair enough,” he said.
Candace was relieved when her dad walked out, leaving her alone. She fell back onto her bed, closed her eyes, and inhaled deeply. A cleansing breath, they had called this in that yoga class. That’s what she needed right now. To cleanse away the tension and anger and find a peaceful place where she could imagine life with Toby.
She pictured them together at the water park. They were splashing each other in the wave pool, laughing as the hot sun beat down on their faces. The muscles in Toby’s chest and arms rippled as he reached out for her wrists and pulled her effortlessly toward him. His skin was warm under her touch. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her as strands of her wet hair clung to the stubble on his face. There they were, amid the chaos of children playing, the waves lapping against their hips, without a care in the world. As Candace wrapped her legs around Toby’s waist, she felt nothing but happiness. We are going to have this moment, she promised herself. For the first time ever, she knew what she wanted. She could picture it clearly. Her heart ached for it.
Candace picked up her phone and stared at the dark screen. She wanted to text Toby but had no idea what to say. She wasn’t even sure Keenan was able to get him out of jail, and she certainly didn’t want some nosy cop reading her text. Was he mad at her for getting him arrested? It’s better to wait, she thought. Be patient and let him make the first move. She wanted to reach out to him so badly—to know that everything was okay between them. She set her phone down and drew her knees into her chest. Waiting was torture.
“That idiot DUI lawyer! He said he took care of it,” Toby muttered, and looked out at the mass of traffic on the 110 freeway.
“I always say you can’t trust those guys. They act like they’re your friend but they’re not,” Keenan commiserated. For his cousin’s sake, Toby made it seem like he was pissed off about the court fees and inconvenience, but deep down, he was more frightened than he was angry. Candace had been whisked away into the juvenile holding area as the officer took Toby to booking. The whole time Toby had been getting his fingers printed and his mugshot taken, his mind had been on her. He knew she was scared. He’d seen the terrified look in her eyes as they escorted her through the door when she threw a glance back at him, begging for him to do something. But there was nothing he could do.
She would be fine in juvenile custody. It was highly supervised and most of the kids in there had been caught tagging or skipping school or shoplifting. They weren’t hardened criminals like the kind at county jail or the state prison. But even so, he’d wanted nothing more in that moment than to hold her in his arms and whisper that she’d be okay.
That wasn’t the part that scared Toby, though. The thought that he might never see her again was the one thing he couldn’t shake from his mind. It made him sick to his stomach. How had his l
ife changed so much in three days? He wasn’t sure, but it had. Ever since he brought her home from the gas station with that flimsy chocolate rose in her hand, everything had been different. For the first time he could remember, he felt hopeful. Daydreams that maybe he could have all the things that other people seemed to have drifted in and out of his head, making him feel at peace. Now he felt nothing but anxiety as he imagined what Candace’s parents were saying to her.
If she’d told her parents anything about him at all, he knew they’d never let her get anywhere near him again. He wasn’t a bad guy. He hadn’t committed armed robbery or assaulted anyone. Yes, he’d been arrested for driving drunk several months back, but he’d been super responsible about taking care of that. And sure, he’d done a lot of bad things in his life, but he was trying to change. That first night when Candace was drunk, he’d made sure nothing happened between them. He’d loaned her money and gone with her to vet the private investigator she’d found. Those were all things that good boyfriends do. She’d inspired him to be better than he’d ever been before, and he knew that he had it in him to be a good guy.
It didn’t take a genius to know that her parents wouldn’t see it that way. They’d see him as an older guy with a record who was trying to corrupt their underage daughter. He was sure they’d do whatever it took to ensure Candace was never in the same room with him again. Just like Cara’s parents, he assumed. Cara was his first love, a girl who went to his school when he was twelve years old.
“I’m going to say this only one time,” Cara’s father had said as he unbuttoned his suit jacket. “Pretend you never met my daughter. Push every thought you have of her out of your head. There are lots of girls out there. Pick a different one.”
Toby remembered how her dad’s eyes bore into him as he said it and how he gave him a forceful pat on the back before he walked away, leaving Toby feeling helpless. The pain of losing Cara had been almost as bad as the humiliation of being forced to give her up because her parents thought he wasn’t good enough. He could still feel that resentment deep inside of him, hidden in a dark place in his heart that he never revisited.
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