It had been a tough few days, but I’d come to a decision and I was resigned to it. It wasn’t an easy one, and I wasn’t sure Clutch would let me put said decision into motion without giving me grief, but I was certainly going to give it a go.
* * *
Clutch
Sally Anne’s was the designated spot for our meeting with Los Psychos, which felt poetic to Minus, as it was the place where we first encountered their club. However, it felt like a bad idea to me. I wanted to meet someplace out in the open, but even though we were co-owners in the place, Sally Anne’s was still neutral territory, and Minus was betting on Los Psychos respecting that. I wasn’t at all convinced and told Minus that I wanted to plant weapons around the place, just in case they tried anything.
“No, Clutch.”
“Why the fuck not? I’m telling you, I don’t trust these guys,” I argued.
“You think I do?” he snapped. “The rules of the sit-down include no guns, no knives, nothing, and we’re gonna honor the rules. Besides, you think they won’t do a sweep of the room when they show up?”
“I don’t like any of this and I’m going on the fuckin’ record with that shit,” I said.
“Duly noted, counselor,” Minus replied with a smile.
“Listen up, Clutch,” Warthog said. “From what I understand, El Cacto is as old school as they come and tough as fuck, so keep your quick mouth shut and let Minus and me do the talking, got it?”
I nodded silently, to which he replied, “Good.”
“Where’s the kid?” Minus asked.
“Ropes has him stashed in the keg room. He’ll bring him out if we need to use him as a bargaining chip,” Warthog said.
“You okay with that?” Minus asked me.
“What the fuck does it matter to me?” I asked back.
“I dunno. The kid’s been following you around like puppy since you brought him home, and you haven’t swatted him away with a newspaper yet,” he said.
“So, the fuck what? The kid’s alright. What of it?” I shot back.
“Nothin’, I just wanted to make sure that if we need him as leverage, one way or the other, that you’ll be okay with losing your shadow, if need be.”
“Whatever, man. I just want to get these assholes dealt with, and I’d feel a lot better if I had a fucking gun strapped under this table.”
Twenty minutes later, El Cacto, the president of the Los Psychos Motorcycle Club had arrived, along with three members of his club, all of whom were soldiers. In fact, El Cacto (The Cactus) was the only Los Psychos officer represented, which I found odd. Before El Cacto would enter the main dining room, his crew insisted they be allowed to do a sweep of the room with wands, just in case we’d hidden any weapons.
“Sure, we’ve got nothing to hide,” Minus said while side eying-me. I fucking hated it when he was right.
After the sweep was completed, an elderly man, who looked to be in his early eighties entered the room. He was dressed in all white, except for his kutte, which almost looked out of place on him. His hair and beard were stark white, and he wore a white fedora and walked with a cane. He looked far more likely to welcome us to Jurassic Park than start a turf war on the back of a chopper.
“Bienvenidos, El Cacto,” Minus said, warmly greeting our guest.
“I want to sit down, I want a very cold glass of tomato juice, and then I want you to tell me why I shouldn’t kill every single one of the Burning Saints,” El Cacto responded a thick Mexican accent.
We took our seat, ordered a round of drinks from Devlin, and El Cacto continued, “I came up here from Mexico because I want to put an end to all of this trouble,” he said.
“That’s good to hear, sir, because we want peace as well,” Minus said.
“This is not true,” El Cacto replied sternly. “You wish for Los Psychos to be out of Portland. You made this very clear with my grandson, when you ran him out of town as a total disgrace.”
“Viper was your grandson? I didn’t know. I’m sorry for your loss,” Minus said.
“I was the one who ordered his execution,” he said, matter-of-factly. “He was my middle daughter’s son. He was also an arrogant, hot-headed piece of shit, and a pain in my ass. I only gave him Portland because I don’t care about it.”
“If you don’t care about Portland then why are you here? Why hire a tech expert to fuck with us and the Dogs of Fire? Why all the recent attacks on our club?”
“I’m here because I care about the reputation of the club that I founded. I’m focused on California, Nevada, and Arizona right now. That’s where the money is for us. Portland makes a few dollars in meth, that’s about it, but that’s not the point. I can’t have some club that I’ve never even heard of drive my boys out a market, no matter its size. It makes me look bad, and it pisses me off.”
“I understand, sir, but Viper came at us. We really had no choice but to handle him as we best saw fit.”
El Cacto looked at Warthog and said, “I understand my grandson beat you.”
“Nah. He was too chicken-shit. He hired someone else to do it,” Warthog replied.
“I apologize. I never liked his methods, although they were effective from time-to-time.”
“Viper turnin’ up dead pretty much made us even, so I’m good,” Warthog said.
“So, if you don’t care about Portland, and you’re not in mourning over your daughter’s son’s demise, I have to ask again, what it is that you want.”
“All of these so-called attacks are a result of an inexperienced club, without a president, acting out without direction. I need to put a new Portland Chapter President in place, so I can rebuild and strengthen my club’s presence here, and I need to know that you’re not going to interfere.”
“Let me get this straight. You want me to allow you time to strengthen your Portland club, so the next time they come after my club they won’t fail?”
“Not allow. It’s simply going to happen. Mins, the Burning Saints do not have the number or the resources that Los Psychos do. If I wanted to turn my resources toward wiping you out completely in Portland, I could do so.”
“Don’t be so sure, pal,” I said, and Minus shot me a look.
“We could have an all-out war, or we could come to an agreement,” El Cacto said.
“I’m listening,” Minus said, calmly.
“Just as we once owned this very establishment, we will now own the protection business here in Portland, as well as retain control of all that we currently run. It’s my understanding that your club is leaving the protection game, so it should be of no consequence to you.”
“You’re very wrong there. It’s a big deal to me because I don’t want someone coming in and squeezing my neighbors. We’ve always protected the people of Portland without bleeding them.”
“It takes a lot of balls for a man to leave a woman and then tell the next man who comes a long how he can treat her.”
“We’re not leaving Portland, just transitioning away from some of our former enterprises. That’s all,” Minus said.
“It’s a lot more than that to your story and I know it. I also know that you can’t afford a war, so my proposal is this; I appoint a new chapter president, recruit some locals, and assume your protection book. In return, I promise to run it fairly, and change none of the terms that you have with your existing clientele. Sound fair?”
“By recruiting locals, are you planning to continue to troll middle schools, for would-be car thieves?” I asked.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” El Cacto said.
“Oh, yeah? I caught a skinny little runt who stole and trashed my classic Barracuda, and he said your club recruited him to do it. I felt so bad for the kid I couldn’t bring myself to toss him back to your wolves, considering what you did to Viper.”
“You speak, plainly don’t you?” El Cacto asked me.
“As plain as I like my burgers,” I replied.
“You were right in not returning th
is boy to Los Psychos if you didn’t want him hurt. A recruit that fails will certainly have to pay the price.”
“You can let your crew know that the kid is staying with us, as well as Kitty, the tech specialist they hired. Any retaliation on them is going to be seen as a direct attack on the Burning Saints,” Minus said.
“So, we have an agreement then?” El Cacto asked, rising to his feet, and extending a hand.
“If it means peace, then yes,” Minus said, completing the handshake.
As soon as El Cacto and company were gone I turned to Minus. “What the fuck was that?” I asked.
“A peace negotiation, no thanks to you. What part of keep your fucking mouth shut during the meeting didn’t you understand?”
“Peace? You showed him your neck and let him fuck the club in the ass.”
“Clutch, as usual, what you don’t know could—”
“I swear to God, Minus, if you even try to quote Cutter to me I’ll burn this fucking place to the ground. I know you want us out of the muscle business but letting Los Psychos move in like this feels wrong.”
“We don’t have much of a choice unless you want all-out war, Clutch!”
“I’d rather go down with a fight than just give in to them.”
“That’s not what we’re doing,” Minus said.
“Well, it sure as hell feels like it. Jesus, Minus, how much more can I fucking lose?” I shouted and bolted out the door.
I rode straight to Eldie’s clinic. I figured she had to be back by now and I couldn’t wait for her to reach out any longer. I needed answers about our future, and I was really hoping that she had them.
Clutch
I’m not sure who was more surprised when I burst into the exam room, Eldie, or the shriveled old man, whose balls she was currently cupping.
“Mr. Christakos, as you can see, I’m currently with a patient. Please wait for me in the waiting room, and I will be with you momentarily,” she said, shooting me daggers the entire time, yet never taking her hands off her work.
“I’d love to wait, but I’m afraid you’ll slip out the back, or shimmy down the drainpipe.”
“This is a one-story building, so please leave this room and take a seat in the first floor waiting room!” she snapped.
“Ow!” her patient exclaimed.
“I’m so sorry Mr. Blondino, I didn’t mean to squeeze you,” she said before mouthing “get out” to me.
I went out to the waiting room and took a seat in one of the only available plastic blue and white chairs. From the look of things, Eldie’s clinic operated on a tight budget and I got the feeling that most of her clients were not loaded with cash, as much as they were loaded on cheap vodka. Maggie, who I’d practically run over when I’d barged in, gave me the stink eye as I picked up a year-old copy of Golf Digest and pretended to read. After nearly ten minutes Eldie finally came out of the exam room, with her patient, who was now fully dressed.
“Just remember to be careful next time, Mr. Blondino,” she said as she walked him to Maggie’s desk, to check out. I stood up and she walked over to me, smiling the whole time before addressing the room full of waiting patients.
“I know you’ve all been waiting, and I’m very sorry for the delay. We’ve had a very busy day with several unexpected walk-ins,” she said glaring at me. “If you’d just allow me to speak with this patient for two minutes, I promise we’ll get right back on schedule,” she said, pulling me by the elbow back into the exam room.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing, barging into my clinic and interrupting a hernia examination,” she asked.
“Oh, shit is that what that was? Thank God. I thought I had some competition for a second,” I teased nervously.
“This is not a joke, Clutch. I could lose my medical license over incidents like that. The people in this community depend on me. Not that anyone around here could tell these days, thanks to the shitty job I’ve been doing. It’s become painfully clear to me that I need to focus more on my work and less on running around with bikers making stupid decisions.”
“Speaking of. Have you made a decision about the baby?”
“Yes, I have, as a matter of fact, but I don’t think you’re going to be happy about it,” she said.
My heart felt like it was being squeezed, and I thought I might throw up right then and there.
“So, you’re not going to have the baby then?” I asked.
“No. I am going to have the baby, but I don’t want you to be the father,” she said.
“That’s not really how it works though, is it, Doctor?” I asked, confused as to what the fuck she was saying.
“Well, it’s how this is going to work. I’m going to give birth and raise this baby, and I don’t want you to be a part of its life or my life in any way,” she said in a clinical tone.
“There’s no way I can do that, Gina. After everything I’ve told you about my family history and about how I feel about you, how can you think that I could ever be okay with this?”
“I don’t need you to be okay with it, I just need you to keep me and the baby safe by staying away from us.”
“I can’t do that, and there’s no way that you’re safer without me than you are with me,” I said.
“You and I both know that isn’t true. You are the Sargent at Arms of a 1% motorcycle club. Just because Minus has big plans, and you agree with his vision, doesn’t mean that we are anywhere near safe,” Eldie said, rubbing her stomach.
“I just need you to give me a little time, and we’re gonna get everything worked out, you’ll see.”
“I believe that you want to become a better man, but I’m sorry Clutch, that’s not good enough for this, or any other child. I didn’t plan on getting pregnant. As a matter of fact, I planned on never being pregnant, thus my being on the pill, but things happen, and plans change. So, even though I’m terrified beyond words, I’m going to have this baby; and if I’m going to bring another child into this world, I have to do what’s best for them, including making sure their father is a good man, not a hopeful criminal.”
Eldie opened the exam room door open wide. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, as you can see, I have a lot of patients that need my attention.”
I walked out of the room, stopping, and turning at the last moment. “I love you, Gina. I love you and our baby, and I always will. I’m gonna prove that to you.”
“You can prove it to me by walking out the door and never coming back,” she said, obviously trying to bite back tears.
My heart was pounding, and my head felt like it was on fire. My whole life, all I ever wanted was to have family, and now to be so close to that dream becoming a reality, only to have it taken away at the last moment, was too much to bear. There was no way I was going to let them slip away, no matter what I had to do.
I said nothing more but knew exactly what I had to do.
I got back on Charlene and pulled out my cell phone, as I had a few calls to make before hitting the road. “Hey. Where are you? Can you meet at the sanctuary in two hours? Alright, I’ll see you then.”
I hung up the phone and dialed the next number.
* * *
Gina
The look in Clutch’s eyes when I told him to leave almost broke me. I hated lying to him and even worse, I hated lying to myself, and I was doing both when I told him that I didn’t want him to be the baby’s father. Of course, I did. I wanted nothing more. Clutch was the baby’s biological father, and I loved him, but neither of those things mattered more than the fact that he would never leave his club, and his club would never be a safe place for our family.
The worst part of all of this was not knowing which of my emotions were being ruled my heartbreak, and which ones by hormones. I think most of me was still on shock that I was pregnant in the first place. I honestly could not figure out what was wrong with me. Not wanting children practically destroyed my marriage, and now an unplanned pregnancy has me devastated about telling my biker baby d
addy to hit the road.
What the actual fuck, Gina?
I knew it wasn’t all about Clutch though, and that’s what scared me the most. I had to be honest with myself and admit that I wanted this baby. With or without Clutch, or any man, I wanted this baby. I don’t know what changed in me exactly; it was probably a lot of things, but I had truly changed.
It was actually hard for me to imagine how I’d felt before. The emotions behind not wanting children had all but vanished, and I somehow, I no longer felt afraid, even though I was scared to death.
Perhaps, I could just never see having a family with David, or maybe becoming pregnant flips some sort of internal “mom switch” that was hidden deep inside me. I’m not sure, but I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I wanted Clutch’s child but was determined to protect him from his father’s lifestyle.
“If we keep up this pace, maybe we’ll get out of here by nine o’ clock,” Maggie said, in a cheerful yet exhausted tone. I’ll put on another pot of coffee while you see your next patient.”
Maggie really had been my rock over the past few years, and I honestly don’t think I could have kept the clinic running without her. She wasn’t just the clinic’s nurse. She ran the front office and sometimes spent more time with the patients than I did.
“Thanks, Mags. You’re the best,” I said before taking Mrs. Gordon back for her exam.
This is how I was gonna get through this. I was going to bury yourself in my work right up until it was time to deliver the baby. Then I’d take maternity leave. Four days, a week, tops. I’d already have childcare worked out in advance, so when I went back to work it’d be no problem. Then I’d pick the baby up, go home and take care of it, then off to bed. Alone, without Clutch. Probably exhausted beyond all words, only to wake up and face another day of feeling guilty about being a single, working, mother who’s allowing a stranger to raise her bastard child.
I may have been spiraling.
Is that coffee ready yet?
* * *
Clutch (Burning Saints MC) Page 15