by Zac Brewer
“So . . . I kinda told Derek I’d go to a movie with him tonight. Would you mind covering for me if anyone asks where I am?”
“I suppose you want me to drop you at his house, then?”
“Yeah. If that’s okay with you.”
Duckie didn’t say whether or not it was okay with him, and I didn’t ask, because judging by his tone, we both knew that it wasn’t. All I could do was try to reassure him that practice would go on fine without me. “The play is really starting to come together, isn’t it? I mean, a few of the actors still aren’t off book, but the sets are built enough that the gym is looking less like the gym and more like Verona. Don’t you think?”
He made a sound, but didn’t respond otherwise. So much for reassuring him.
As Duckie pulled into Derek’s driveway, he said, “See you tomorrow, princess.”
I groaned. “Duckie, I’m sorry. I know I’ve been really grumpy and dismissive today. And I know it’s pretty crappy of me to ditch rehearsal tonight, but Derek really wants to be with me right now. You might think I’m the worst friend ever, but I’m sorry . . . I have to do this.”
He smiled, but it didn’t seem genuine. “It’s okay. You just go enjoy your date.”
We locked eyes for a moment. And in that silent conversation, I pleaded with Duckie to try to understand. But he tore his gaze away before I could get confirmation that he did. I exited the Beast and made my way to the front door before I realized that I hadn’t told Duckie “I-L-Y.” When I turned back to the car, he was holding up one hand in the “I love you” ASL gesture. With a small, apologetic smile, I returned the favor and knocked on the front door.
The door opened just as the Beast was pulling away, and Derek greeted me with a kiss. As we parted, his brow furrowed. “Everything okay?”
I wanted it to be but hated the way I’d left things with the Duckman. Still, not wanting to ruin the evening, I shook it off and said, “Just peachy. So . . . how are we getting to the movies exactly?”
Vikas was stretched out on the couch, half-asleep. When he opened his eyes briefly and saw me, he wagged his tail some before settling back into a nice doggy slumber.
Holding a finger up, Derek disappeared into his bedroom for a moment before returning with two motorcycle helmets. Handing me the smaller one, which had a skull on each side, he said, “My dad’s gone for the night, so we’re taking his bike.”
Ignoring the fact that I’d had no idea his dad even had a motorcycle—and the fact that I was pretty sure if I got on it, I’d probably have my brains splattered all over the pavement by night’s end—I said, “Aren’t you worried you’ll get in trouble?”
“Nah. He left the shed unlocked and the key in the ignition, so it’s kinda his fault anyway. I’ll have it back before he ever knows, so we’re good. You ready?”
Every cell in my body, every nerve ending in my skin, every synapse in my brain said that I was certainly not ready to get on a motorcycle for the first time. Not now, probably not ever. “I . . . don’t know about this, Derek.”
“What’s the matter?” He slipped his helmet on and began to buckle the strap under his chin. Then he gave me a wink. “You’re not scared, are you?”
Scared? No. Not me. Terrified would have been a much more appropriate word to describe how I was feeling at that moment. But as frightened as I was of the prospect of whipping down roads with no metal cage to protect me, I was more worried about the idea of disappointing my boyfriend.
With trembling hands, I slipped my helmet on and said, “You’ll have to help me with the strap. I . . . I’ve never actually done this before.”
Derek didn’t look surprised. He also didn’t look judgmental. As he did up my chin strap, he explained, “No big deal. Just remember that the key to being a good passenger is to learn how to lean and relax into the seat. Let me do the navigating. You just sit back and enjoy the ride.”
He led me out the front door and around the house to a small shed. When he opened the door and pulled a string, a single lightbulb lit up the small space. The shed was only big enough for a couple toolboxes and the bike, but I immediately saw why his dad normally had it locked. The motorcycle was in pristine condition, in complete contrast to every other item they owned. The machine seemed so foreign to its surroundings that my eyes were drawn immediately to it. It had been painted in shimmering pewter and burgundy, and had so much chrome that I actually wondered how long it took to polish it to a shine. Before I realized it, Derek had taken a seat on the leather and, after putting up the kickstand, pushed the bike out of the shed. He turned his head to me and said, “Hop on. Just make sure you get on from the left side, so you don’t burn yourself on the pipes. They can get pretty hot.”
My heart was in my throat. What was I doing? Putting my life in danger just to impress a guy?
Derek met my eyes. “We don’t have to take a ride if you’re not okay with it.”
“No. I’m okay.” Pushing down every last bit of anxiety in my stomach, I climbed up behind him and sat down. Because this wasn’t just a guy. It was Derek.
Once he put the bike in neutral, he turned the key and hit the start button. The engine rumbled to life, shaking beneath me, matching the flutter in my chest. He pulled back on the throttle, and the engine growled. It sounded like the machine was a wild animal that had just been set free from its cage. He leaned back a bit and said, “Just relax and try to enjoy it. You ready?”
Everything in my brain screamed no, but my mouth opened and I said, “Yes.”
Before I knew it, the bike was in gear and we were moving forward. Derek rode down the driveway and turned onto the road. I gripped his shirt in my hands, prepared to scream in terror.
Only . . . it wasn’t terrifying. It was exhilarating. As the speedometer climbed, my stomach filled with the same kind of tickly sensation that I got whenever I rode a roller coaster and went over a hill. I relaxed back in my seat and put my hands behind me, holding on to the bars of the seat back rather than clutching on to Derek in fear. The lack of metal around me opened up the entire world to me. I’d had no idea how much of it was concealed by riding inside a car. The sky looked bigger somehow, and the trees, the buildings, even the stars looked more real, more . . . defined. Every time Derek revved the engine and sped up, I found myself laughing. As we pulled to a stop at the corner where we needed to turn to head for the movie theater, Derek leaned back and said, “Turn and see a movie, or keep going?”
Grinning, I said, “Don’t stop! Keep going!”
He did a fast takeoff, and I felt something that I hadn’t in a long time. I felt free.
We rode around for a couple of hours, enjoying the scenery, the smells, the breeze, before Derek navigated us toward his house. As we approached his driveway, he reached back with his left hand and gave my leg a gentle squeeze. Once we got to the shed, he paused and told me to hop off. After I did, he backed the bike into the shed and parked it exactly as it had been before putting the kickstand down and shutting off the engine. He climbed off and turned off the light, then came out, shutting the doors behind him. I was still grinning, but struggling to undo my chin strap. Derek removed his helmet and then gently unsnapped the strap for me before placing a peck on the tip of my nose. “Did you have fun?”
“Much more than I expected. When can we go again?” I pulled the helmet off and shook my hair loose.
Smiling, he shook his head. “That all depends. Dad doesn’t forget his bike key often, and there’s no way he’d ever give me permission to ride her.”
“Why not? You seem to know what you’re doing.”
A sad glint entered Derek’s eyes. “That bike is the only thing he’s kept that reminds him of my mom. They used to ride together a lot. Y’know. Before.”
I didn’t know, but I nodded anyway.
He shook off whatever memories had been invoked by our ride and said, “Anyway. I’m glad you had fun. Want me to walk you home?”
“I’d love that. But I just realized
. . . my parents think I’m coming back home in Duckie’s car. How am I going to explain walking?”
Shrugging, he said, “Just tell them the car was getting low on gas, so he dropped you at the corner.”
I decided that wasn’t completely implausible. The Beast did have a tendency to guzzle fuel. “Okay. But you have to kiss me good-bye before we get to my house. If they see you, I’m as good as grounded.”
The corner of his mouth lifted in a sly smile. “I love it when you get commanding.”
As promised, Derek kissed me good night well out of range of my house. At first, it was tender, but then he slid his hands around my waist. His tongue flicked over mine with a hint of hunger. I gently pushed him away. “I wish we could keep doing this, but if I don’t get inside soon, they’ll be suspicious.”
His eyes slowly scanned my face, my neck, and as they lowered, I saw in his gaze the same hunger that had been in his kiss. “Y’know, my dad’s gonna be gone all night.”
I kissed his lips and pulled farther away. “Not tonight. Now go home and take care of Vikas. I’m sure he’s lonely.”
After a long pause, Derek chuckled. “There’s that commanding tone I love so much.”
I squeezed his hand and let our fingers graze against one another as we parted and I moved away. “Good night. I love you.”
“I love you more.”
I rolled my eyes before giving him a wink. “As if.”
Lucky for me, Mom and Dad totally bought my story, and the evening progressed without a hitch. But as the adrenaline of our ride eased off, my lack of sleep started catching up to me. After I nearly fell asleep in my bowl of take-out chili, my parents insisted I go upstairs and get to bed. I went without argument. As soon as my head hit the pillow, darkness consumed me and I drifted there for hours. I was so deep under that I thought it was a dream when I felt my bed move. But I woke enough to see a shape in the night, a person, in my room, on my bed. I opened my mouth to scream.
A warm hand covered my mouth, and I heard Derek whisper, “Shh. It’s just me.”
Pushing his hand away, I sat up, still flustered. “Derek? What are you doing here? How did you get in?”
He sat back on the bed, looking a bit deflated. “Your bedroom window was unlocked. I wanted to surprise you.”
“Well, it worked.” I put my hand to my chest. My heart was racing with fear. I might have been tired all day, but I was for sure awake now.
Derek caressed my arm. “I’m sorry I scared you. I thought it would be romantic.”
“To break into my house and scare the shit out of me?”
“Well, not when you say it like that.” He shook his head as the realization hit him that he hadn’t quite thought this out before acting. “Jesus, that makes me sound like such a creeper. I am so sorry. You want me to go?”
“You kinda have to. You can’t stay. My parents would freak.”
“What if I leave before the sun comes up?” He scooted closer and kissed my neck. Happy tingles flowed through me.
I pushed him away with a chuckle. “We are not having sex.”
“I didn’t come here for sex. I came here because . . . I should just go. I’m sorry.” His shoulders sank.
He started to stand, but I grabbed his arm and pulled him gently back onto the bed. “No, stay. But you have to promise to leave in an hour, okay? If I get caught with a guy in my room, let alone in bed with me, my parents will—”
“I get it. One hour. I promise.” We both lay down and he curled up behind me, spooning me. Brushing my hair away from my face, he kissed along my jawline and whispered, “I really am sorry I scared you. It was a stupid idea.”
Understatement of the year. “That’s okay.”
I said that, but it didn’t feel okay. Derek’s body snuggled up behind me felt wonderful. As did his fingers playing with strands of my hair. As did his lips pressed against the back of my neck in the occasional little kiss.
But it felt weird to know that someone—even if it was my boyfriend—had crawled through my bedroom window in the middle of the night and gotten into bed with me without my noticing. I was probably blowing it out of proportion, but I made a mental note to lock my window at night from here on out.
I dozed off with Derek’s strong arms around me, which made me feel safe. True to his promise, an hour later, he kissed my cheek and crawled back out my window without a word. He probably thought I was sleeping. After he left, I did sleep, but my dreams were troubled.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
“Wow. What a creeper.” Duckie had a sharp eyebrow raised as he brought the Beast to a stop in the school’s parking lot. He turned off the ignition and took the key out with an air of disgust.
“He’s not a creeper. He just wasn’t thinking, I guess.” It sounded like such a creeper move to break into my room at night and crawl into bed with me, so how could I defend his actions? “He said he thought it would be romantic.”
Duckie gave me a look laced with disbelief and grabbed his messenger bag before getting out the driver’s side door. “Well, I guess he can’t be pretty and smart.”
“Listen. Don’t tell Derek I told you about last night, okay? I don’t want him to think—” Suddenly my mind went blank. “I don’t know. Just don’t say anything.”
Duckie furrowed his brow at me as I exited the car.
“Why would you assume that I’d say anything, Brooke? I’m hurt. Really.” Just as he noticed Derek’s approach, he muttered so that only I would hear, “Oh, look, the creeper’s here . . .”
“Duckie!” My heart was in my throat.
Duckie shook his head and walked away. “Sorry, can’t talk now. Busy, busy, busy.”
Derek watched him, looking more than a little embarrassed. When he looked back at me, his face was flushed. “You told him about last night, didn’t you?”
“He’s my best friend. I tell him everything.” All I could do was cringe and make plans to strangle Duckie later. “Sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it. He’s right. What I did was way out of line. I feel terrible.” His shoulders were slumped and he seemed to be having a difficult time meeting my eyes.
The majority of our classmates were already inside, or walking up the front steps. If we didn’t get moving, Miller was going to give us an earful. But this was important.
Tugging lightly on Derek’s sleeve, I said, “Just . . . text me first next time, okay?”
He gave me a wink. “Come on. It never bothered you before.”
My heart skipped a nervous beat. “Wh—”
Derek chuckled and pulled me into his arms before placing a kiss on my forehead. “Kidding. I’m just kidding.”
I laughed softly, but it didn’t quite fill me with relief. Of course he was kidding. Derek would never do something like that. I mean, besides last night . . .
The first half of my day flew by, and my classes weren’t nearly as bad as I thought they’d be. Hell, even Mr. Rober’s class was semi-bearable. Duckie was really quiet the few times I saw him, but I assumed he was just tired or something.
Come lunchtime, Duckie was leaning against the wall to the left of the cafeteria doors as I approached, looking sullen. “Hey. You okay?”
He shook his head. “What are you doing, Brooke?”
I stumbled over my response. “Going . . . to lunch?”
“I mean, what are you doing with Derek? You guys got super serious super fast, and after the guy totally breaks into your house, into your bedroom”—he put such emphasis on the word that it sounded sinister, ugly—“you defend him and go on acting like this is all normal. It’s not.”
“I—”
“Not to mention that you’ve never treated me like I was a second thought until the creeper came along.” The pain he was feeling was evident in his expression. Pain that I had caused. Pain that I never wanted him to feel.
“I’m sorry, Duckie. I just . . . love him.” It was a poor excuse for an apology, and I knew it. But I didn’t know what
else to say.
“You can’t love him after only a month. You can like him, lust after him, but love takes time.” He was being Serious Duckie again. “I’m worried about you. And I’m not sure this guy is good for you. Just . . . just be careful, okay?”
A part of me wondered if maybe my best friend was right. But another part said that he didn’t understand. And I needed him to understand. “Look, I know that things between Derek and me have been moving really fast. And you’re right. I should probably slow things down and examine my feelings. But Duckie, I’ve never felt this way before. He’s my first thought in the morning and my last thought at night. So what else could it be besides love?”
He tilted his head back, closing his eyes, and sighed like he was trying to gather some strength. “I have to tell you something.”
Breathless, I said, “About Derek?”
“No. It’s definitely not about Derek. There are other people in the world.” When he looked at me again, his cheeks were slightly pink. “I have news. Good news, actually. Really good news.”
“Tell me.”
He grabbed me by the shoulders and said, “Tucker kissed me. In the hall. Right after drama club.”
“Shut up!” I jumped up and smacked him on the arm in shock and joy and awe. His dream guy finally kissed him. It was amazing. For the first time in our history, Duckie and I were both in relationships at the same time. At least, I presumed. Tucker didn’t seem like the kind of guy to kiss and ditch. But then, what did I know?
He was beaming at last. “Make up your mind. Do you want me to tell you about it or shut up?”
My heart felt so full of joy for him. He was going to be okay. Better than okay. Duckie was going to be happy. “I need details. Now. Does this mean you’re boyfriends?”