by Sarah Price
With the eyes of the other students upon her, the walk to the empty desk felt as if it took minutes instead of seconds. When she reached the small wooden desk, Fanny sat down and slouched, wishing that she could just blink her eyes and wake up from the horrid dream she was living. Had it really been only two weeks ago that she left Colorado?
Since her arrival in Mount Hope, Fanny spent most of her days alone. Both Thomas and Elijah worked with their father, Timothy, in the fields. Even though it was autumn, there was still a lot of work to be done to harvest the corn and squeeze in one final hay cutting. Miriam and Julia went to school, but thankfully, Martha had insisted that Fanny stay at home awhile to acclimate herself to her new surroundings.
Fanny quickly learned that Martha was extremely easygoing and gentle while Naomi was a force to be reckoned with. Staying home with Martha was a nice way to get to know her aunt, but whenever Fanny heard Naomi walk through the door for her daily visits, she scampered outside and hid in the dairy barn.
Five days after Fanny’s arrival, Naomi finally convinced Martha to enroll Fanny in school with no further delay. Martha appeared reluctant, having grown to enjoy Fanny’s company. Secretly Fanny had hoped Martha would come to her defense; the idea of attending school, with a strange curriculum and even stranger people, intimidated her. But Martha had finally given into her older sister’s demands. Naomi had a way of making others see the logic in her point of view, even if they didn’t always agree with it.
Now, as Fanny slid into her seat behind the small wooden desk, she felt even smaller and more insignificant than she had at her arrival at the Bontragers’ farm.
The rest of the morning passed slowly, the other students familiar with the daily routine of reading Scripture and singing hymns before focusing their attention on reading, writing, arithmetic, and English. Fanny, however, spent most of the morning looking through a reader that, she soon happened to learn, was for a much younger student. Behind her, Fanny thought she heard one or two children snicker when Teacher handed her the reader, but she suspected that she might have imagined it, being that she felt so self-conscious.
However, during the break for the noon meal, she didn’t want to expose herself to any more ridicule. Instead of eating with the other children, she slipped around the side of the schoolhouse and hid away from everyone’s line of sight. She felt safer in her own company, especially since the only two people she knew, Miriam and Julia, made no attempt to include her within their own group of friends.
She was still sitting there when a horse and buggy came along the road. The noise of the horse’s hooves and the gentle rattle of the buggy wheels caught her attention: it sounded familiar and she took comfort in that. But when the horse stopped near the schoolyard and someone called out her name, she startled.
“Fanny Price!” a young man’s voice repeated when she did not respond at first.
It was Elijah. He sat in the open buggy, watching her sit by herself, her back pressed against the side of the outhouse building.
Fanny placed her napkin into her small red and white cooler before scrambling to her feet and hurrying to the fence that separated the schoolyard from the road. She leaned against it but said nothing, not quite knowing why Elijah was at her school in the first place.
“What are you doing, Fanny, sitting all by yourself?” he asked as he deftly held the leather reins in his hands. The horse took a small step forward and the buggy wheels rattled, but Elijah stepped harder on the brake. “You didn’t make any friends yet, then?”
She shook her head and looked down at the ground.
“Ach!” The word sounded guttural and she thought he might reprimand her. Instead he smiled at her and quickly jumped down from the buggy, pausing only to untie the lead rope that was around the horse’s neck and fasten it to a fence post. “Come along now, Fanny,” Elijah said and jumped over the fence. “Can’t make friends hiding back here, can you now?”
He started walking toward the other side of the building, pausing just once to make certain Fanny followed him. Only then did she do so, her heart pounding with the mixed emotions of both embarrassment and joy that Elijah had taken note of her.
Several of the older boys noticed him right away and stopped playing baseball to run over to him. After all, it had only been two years ago that he too had attended the school.
“You coming to play some ball?” one of the boys asked.
“Nee, Amos,” Elijah answered. “Too much work for folly.”
The boy made a face at him. “You sound like an old farmer during harvest, now!”
Ignoring the gibe, Elijah glanced over their heads and scanned the schoolyard. “You’ve seen my sisters?” Just as the words left his lips, both of his sisters left the small group of girls near the tall oak tree and hurried over to him.
“Elijah! Is everything all right at home?” Julia asked.
“Ja, ja. I was just passing by.” He shifted his gaze to Fanny. “Saw Fanny sitting all by herself. Thought I’d check in to make certain you were introducing her to the other girls.”
The silence that followed his statement clearly indicated their response. He sighed and scowled.
Fanny glanced at him, noticing not for the first time how striking he was. In many ways, he reminded her of William, who with his protective nature and kind heart always stuck up for her. She did not see his uneven hairline from a poorly given haircut, nor his dirty black trousers with the hole by his pocket. Instead the fact that, once again, he had come to her rescue—something he had done on numerous occasions since her arrival—made him look larger than life in her eyes.
“We were just going to look for her,” Miriam said, the flicker of guilt in her eyes giving away her lie.
“I reckon you were,” Elijah said, a stern look on his face as he waited for Miriam to take Fanny’s hand. With great show Miriam led her over to the small group of girls near the rusted metal swing set.
Fanny paused, pretending to stumble over a rock so that she could look back at Elijah. He continued to watch her as he slowly walked to the fence where he had tied the horse. She saw him smile at her and raise his hand, an encouraging gesture that she remembered long after his horse and buggy had disappeared down the road.
Chapter 1
OH, COME NOW, Fanny! Please! Just for today!” Fanny finished wringing out the last pillowcase and, with all of the patience she could muster, stooped to pick up the basket of damp clothing before walking past Miriam toward the door. She wasn’t surprised that Miriam followed her, still begging her for help. After eight years of living with the Bontragers, Fanny had learned to expect nothing more from her cousins Miriam and Julia. When the mood suited they included Fanny in their conversations and, occasionally, some social outings, but, as of late, both Miriam and Julia seemed far more focused on obtaining the attention of men and were using Fanny to achieve this goal.
“I don’t see why you won’t do this for me,” Miriam whined. She wrung her hands before her as if to emphasize her plight. “Just once!”
Fanny smiled to herself as she dropped the wicker laundry basket on the corner of the porch. She leaned forward and reached for the little brown bag of clothespins that hung from a nail on the trim. Clearly her cousin’s memory was failing her if she thought the request was a new one. “That’s what you said last time, ja?” Fanny was still smiling, even though her back was to her cousin. “And the time before that, if I recall.”
Stomping her foot, Miriam crossed her arms over her chest. “I would do it for you,” she said. “And I have!”
This time Fanny laughed, a soft sound and without any malice. “Ach, Miriam!” She pinned the edge of the pillowcase to the clothesline that stretched from the edge of the porch roof and across the yard to the top of the barn. “I reckon you would,” she said, and after a short pause, glanced over her shoulder, “only I’ve never asked!”
“Oh! What would you understand, anyway? You haven’t been courted yet!”
The dis
paraging observation might have jarred another but Fanny merely returned her attention to hanging the wash. At twenty-one, Miriam’s desperation to marry was well known within the church district. A pretty, young woman with a round face and bright hazel eyes, she had caught the attention of several young men, many of whom had come calling on her. While Miriam never spoke outright regarding her courters, Fanny had once heard the sound of a horse and buggy leaving the farm at four o’clock on a Monday morning. She had thought Miriam would be married soon afterward. Yet, for no apparent reason to Fanny, not one of them had asked Miriam to get married.
Thinking about how Miriam must feel being the only unmarried woman—besides her younger sister, Julia—from her group of friends, Fanny remained silent as she hung another pillowcase on the clothesline. Nearby, two red chickens made some noises, and a rooster strutted along the walkway. Fanny paused to watch it, seeing the rooster lower his wing toward the ground and dance protectively around one of the hens.
That’s what Miriam needs, Fanny thought with a sigh. When she reached down for a sheet, she gave in. “Fine, Miriam. I will make that order tonight so you may go early to the gathering!”
Miriam jumped up and down, clapping her hands before she quickly hugged Fanny. “Oh, danke! It won’t take you long anyway, Fanny! It’s just the one basket and you are so good at it!”
As Miriam hurried back into the house, Fanny shook her head, the smile slowly fading from her face. In the past eight years, ever since she had moved to Ohio, she had never become close with either Miriam or Julia. It wasn’t that they were really unkind to her. No, they tolerated her well enough. However, there was always so much work to be done at the farm. Thomas and Elijah worked alongside their father, either milking the cows or working in the fields. The responsibilities for tending to the house and garden as well as making and selling the baskets were left to the women.
It sounded like a simple division of labor. But it wasn’t.
Unlike in Colorado, the garden at the Bontragers’ farm was productive. Unfortunately that also meant it required much more effort to maintain. Between fast-growing weeds and scratching chickens, the garden’s needs were as demanding as the chores inside the house. Dirty clothes and linens were washed three times a week—a never-ending chore since clothes were soiled every day with only one or two other outfits to replace them. The men often wore the same clothes two or even three days in a row while the women had enough dresses to rotate.
The other hardship was the food preparation. Since their farm was off a back road and Timothy Bontrager didn’t like Martha to shop in town, most of their food was grown on the farm and prepared in their kitchen. Baking bread, making pies, and plucking chickens for the evening meal were not uncommon practices. With so much to do, there wasn’t time for socializing with her two cousins. And now that Miriam and Julia were well into their courting years, they did what they could to off-load as many of their chores as possible to Fanny’s care.
It wasn’t that Fanny minded; no, that wasn’t it. She just felt the yearning for real sisterly companionship. She often thought about her own siblings back in Colorado, wondering what they were like and if they ever thought about her. From the few letters that were addressed to her, Fanny doubted it.
“What was that all about, Fanny?”
Startled, Fanny dropped the edge of the sheet and it fell toward the ground. “Oh, help!” She tried to grab the corner, but it landed in the dirt. She sure hoped that Naomi wasn’t staring out the kitchen window of the grossdawdihaus.
“You scared me, Elijah!” she said as she stilled her heart.
“I did now, did I?” He laughed at her, leaning against the four-by-four post that held up the roof of the small weathered overhang. For a second, he stood there watching her as she wiped away the dirt. “You must have been knee deep in thought then if you didn’t see me walking from the barn!”
Fanny put her hand on her hip and tried to scowl at him. But with Elijah she could not even feign irritation.
“Let me guess,” he continued. “Miriam is pawning off her chores so that she can go riding with Jeb.”
Fanny suppressed a smile. “However did you guess, Elijah Bontrager?”
In response, he made a low, guttural noise, indicative of his disapproval. “You really ought not let her do that, Fanny. She shouldn’t shirk her chores. Besides, she’ll have plenty of time to spend with Jeb after they marry in November.” The way he emphasized the word plenty made Fanny laugh at last.
“I didn’t think anyone knew about her courting Jeb,” Fanny remarked. “Do you really think they will marry?”
“Quite certain,” he admitted as he brushed some straw from his white shirt, dirty from working in the barn all morning. “I overheard Miriam whispering with Maem just the other day.”
This was news to Fanny. For several months she knew that Miriam was occasionally riding home from singings with Jeb. In early spring Fanny would sit on the porch, gazing into the sky to look at the different constellations—something Elijah used to do with her when they were both younger—when Jeb’s buggy would pull into the driveway to drop off Miriam.
If Fanny hadn’t known who the driver was, Miriam certainly made it clear that it was none other than Jeb Riehl. She’d say good-bye to him just loud enough so that the neighbors on the next farm probably heard it too.
Jeb was certainly nice enough, mayhaps too nice in Fanny’s opinion. The few times when Fanny attended social gatherings or was in his presence, he often seemed as if he tried just a little too hard to fit in. His laughter sounded forced and his willingness to go along with everyone made him appear overly accommodating. Miriam, however, seemed more than pleased to ride home with him after youth singings. Unlike the other courters, Jeb wasn’t one to ask to come into the kitchen and sit on the rocking chair, holding Miriam on his lap until the wee hours of the morning, as was the undiscussed—but encouraged—courting custom in their community.
But to marry him? Such a short courtship and so little in common, Fanny thought.
As if reading her mind, Elijah sighed. “He’s a dull one, this Jeb. And Miriam is so lively. Why, then! He even brings her home directly from the singings. I doubt he’s ever taken her for a long ride down back roads or really had a good long talk with her!”
Fanny held the edge of the sheet to her chest and stared at Elijah. Was that what happened during courtships? She wouldn’t know and had never thought to ask. And as she stared at Elijah, whose attention was elsewhere and not on her reaction, it dawned on her that Elijah too must have courted a girl or two. How else would he have known?
“You should give him a chance, Elijah,” Fanny said at last. “Mayhaps he’s not as . . . ” She paused, searching for the right word. “ . . . lethargic as he seems.”
Turning to look at her, Elijah chuckled at Fanny’s carefully chosen word. “Lethargic? Oh, Fanny, your heart is so pure and kind.” He reached over and helped her with the sheet she had begun to pin on the line. “Why, I reckon Miriam would have no interest in your ‘lethargic’ Jeb were it not for the 150-acre farm he’s set to inherit!”
“One hundred sixty acres,” Fanny corrected politely, which only made Elijah roll his eyes.
“One hundred sixty acres, indeed! She sure does mention it enough; I should have remembered!” Teasingly he bowed before her to indicate that he stood corrected, a gesture that made her smile. When he straightened up again, he took a deep breath as if filling his lungs with fresh air. “It’s a gorgeous day anyway. What has she asked you to do for her, then? Hopefully something outside.”
“Weed the garden. And feed the calves.” The truth was that Fanny didn’t mind taking over Miriam’s chores. She much preferred to work with the sun on her back and the comforting feeling of the earth under her bare feet. The sound of singing birds and the occasional neigh from one of the horses in the fields gave her a happy feeling, not that she was generally unhappy. Without those chores to keep her busy, she’d be forced to sit insi
de with Martha and Naomi, the former often lounging on the sofa and napping while the latter complained about it. No, thank you, Fanny thought. Being outside was so much better.
“Mayhaps later we can go for a ride then?”
Fanny’s eyes lit up and she almost bounced on the balls of her feet. But she was too old to show her enthusiasm in such a childish manner. Instead, she nodded her head as she tried to contain her excitement. “Oh, ja, Elijah, that would be wunderbarr!” There was nothing she enjoyed more than riding bareback through the fields on Penny, the chestnut, hackney mare that Elijah had bought a few years back. Neither of his sisters liked to ride, and Thomas was far too busy tending to his own affairs—which often included disappearing with his Englischer friends. Fanny, however, loved to accompany Elijah; although she wasn’t certain whether she favored riding the pony or just being in his company. Perhaps both, she thought.
When Elijah purchased Penny, he had presented it to Fanny with great fanfare, although no one else was around. He already had another horse, a thoroughbred that caused his parents to frown when he had purchased it. Such a horse was not very practical on a farm, not fitted for doing field work and certainly too high strung for driving a buggy. However, since neither of their sons had taken the kneeling vow, neither Timothy nor Martha could discipline them: not Elijah for his high-spirited horse nor Thomas for his high-spirited lifestyle.
Fanny suspected that would change when Elijah became a baptized member of the church in October.
“Elijah! Fanny!”
They both turned toward the smaller grossdawdihaus that was attached to the larger main house. Naomi stood on the small landing outside the door, her black dress fluttering around her ankles from the breeze. As usual, she wore a fierce expression on her face.
“Kum vonct nah!” she called once she knew that she had their attention.
Elijah and Fanny exchanged a look. Ever since she had moved there, Naomi rarely invited anyone to her house, especially the Bontrager children. When the children were younger, she had complained that they tracked in too much dirt, a complaint she continued even now that they were adults and more mindful of their manners. Fanny suspected it was because her aunt didn’t like cleaning. Period. But, as usual, Fanny never expressed that opinion, even when Miriam and Julia joked about Naomi’s refusal to host guests.