by Carmen Faye
Yet, he’s not here to tell me everything was going to be okay or to remind me he is never leaving me again. His spot under the sheets is cold. It has to be at least hours since he was lying next to me. My senses flood me as panic takes over. I can suddenly hear the sound of hushed voices and creaking floorboards. We’re not alone.
I walk quickly towards the shut door, not caring that Ash must have changed my clothes for me so I am only wearing one of his old t-shirts and the same pair of tight shorts. I had to stay unseen anyway. I press my ears to the thin plywood and listen in.
“Why here? You know he used to co--”
“I know that. It’s fine. I’ve got this worked out. Don’t worry about that right now, Duane.”
“Listen Ash, I think we have to get the fuck out there and look for him. If he finds out that that stupid motherfucker Remmy is dead, what do you think he’s gonna do? He’s gonna go apeshit and come after us one by one. He already tried to blow you up!”
Ash scolds him harshly, “Lower your fucking voice, Aaron. I don’t want you to wake her up.”
“Well, what about that damn girl, anyway? I mean, I give her props for killing the traitor, but is she really the bait we want for this? Can she handle it?”
My mouth drops open at the word ‘bait.’ Ash has never given me any reason to think that what is going on between us isn’t real, but perhaps I had just seen what I want to see. If he were desperate to get the job done right, it would make sense to use someone like me as a middleman. I am unsuspecting, willing, and apparently easily manipulated.
I am seconds away from barging into the living room and breaking up whatever motorcycle brute club meeting there were having, but Ash’s words catch me. “Shut the hell up, Johnny! We are not using Dani as bait. She’s here because she needs our protection. And I expect each and every one of you motherfuckers to bow to her on your goddamn knees. She didn’t want to do it, but she managed to take out the traitor before any of us could. And she did it without us even asking.”
There’s a brief silence when another, more stoic voice chimes in. I can hear him stand to his feet and pat someone, maybe Ash, on the back as he adds, “I agree with you, Ash. We owe that chick, and I’m willing to ride out for her and make sure she gets the vengeance she needs.”
That word. Again. Seriously? “Vengeance?” What the hell is up with Ash’s crew and revenge? I get that this man has done some horrible things. I mean, when I dream, I want to do some pretty terrible stuff to him, too, but that doesn’t mean I want to take his life with my own bare hands. I know that, realistically, this is who Ash is. He commands people to do horrible things. He has already told me about the drug runs, the dealings, the bribes. He knows cops and detectives and has connections with businessmen and politicians. And it isn’t just confined to Sterling -- his influence is everywhere on the west coast down to Mexico where he gets his stashes.
He is the man in the ivory tower looking down at his minions doing his bidding for him. Now, he wants me to join him up there all because I have a nice ass and managed to accidentally kill a guy who tried to kidnap me. Despite everything I feel for him and want for him, I can’t bring myself to see me as that girl in a leather jacket on the back of some guy’s bike that just ignores that her partner was sleeping with every dirty chick who offers to blow him while moving his chess pieces around the board with an iron fist.
And I certainly can’t be with someone so hell bent on getting his revenge that he is willing to risk himself or others for a taste of blood. Seeing this barbaric, wild side of him is like unlocking reality.
I know I have to get out of here. But I can’t just run back to the police. I had lied to them, and even though I think that female detective knew I wasn’t giving her the whole story, I couldn’t go back there now and recant everything. What I feel for Ash is real, so real that my heart is being torn in two. I can’t give him or his club away just like that.
The only options are either trying to stop Ash from going through with his plan of killing that Spark guy or make a clean getaway and hope he doesn’t come after me.
Oh wait, who am I thinking of? Of course he’ll come after me! Nothing has stopped him from finding me, and it’s not like I have been able to stay away either. Whatever is out there in the universe, it’s putting us together for a reason. Maybe it’s because I am supposed to be his savior -- I am supposed to show him the way out of this mess so he isn’t in the dark any longer. I hate thinking of myself like that, but there are no alternatives. I’ve got to save Ash’s soul tonight.
I listen back in on the men’s conversation. Ash is in the middle of discussing his plan, giving orders for where each of his guys should go. “...Security is okay where they are. Trainers should be on alert with their young guns. Tell ‘em this isn’t a time to be a hero. We aren’t awarding patches for being Rambo tonight.”
Like good soldiers, three voices answers back, “Yes, sir.”
“I want the enforcers out at each of our houses. Tell them to evacuate everyone, especially family. Send them to their mama’s houses, and if they don’t have family or friends to stay with that aren’t connected to the club, we’ll set them up with something.”
A man clears his throat. It’s that same guy from before, Johnny, who points out, “That’s fine and good, sir, but that doesn’t exactly find Spark. That just puts us on defense.”
“We know where Spark is going to be already. He said he was going to kill Dani if I didn’t meet him by dawn at the Piedmont Hotel, so he’s going to get his wish. I’m going down there alone. And we’re going to finish this once and for all.”
I gasp, forgetting myself. My hand covers my mouth as I try to take back that sound. I just can’t get over the shock of hearing that the man who had me at gunpoint was intending to kill me after all. Those horrible, skin crawling moments with him eying and touching me might have been the last thing I had ever experienced. And even worse, it was all a trap to get Ash to sacrifice himself for me in vain. If my heart could break even more, it would, but I’m still trying to pick up the crumbles from earlier.
“Boss, you can’t go there alone. At least let one of us follow or stake the place. We could send Duane. He looks really inconspicuous. Or we can even send some of our younger guys like Marco or Vin. They know the place from following the girl and they’re young enough that Spark wouldn’t recognize him.”
“He’s been casing Dani so I have no doubt he would recognize at least one of those guys. Duane, well, I just can’t risk you, man. The club needs you around in case I don’t make it out. This, boys, I’ve got to do myself. No cops, no nothing. While I’m gone, I’m putting Aaron in charge. You all hear me now that those are my wishes.”
“We hear you, sir,” a voice answers softly from the side of where the door is. “Good luck.”
There’s the pounding of feet as each man stands to take Ash by the hand and pound him on his back. The group leaves slowly after, neither lingering around past that. It’s hard to imagine a world like this, but Ash’s word is law, and they obey his every command.
I quickly run back to the bed with moments to formulate my plan. I have to hold Ash off as long as possible to keep him from going to that meeting with Spark at the Piedmont, and I can’t give it away that I am trying to interfere. As I pull the covers over me and curl my legs back into my stomach, it dawns on me that Ash, my warrior, really does have one weakness: me.
I keep one eye faintly open, watching Ash as he saunters in through the door as if nothing has happened. But outside his movements, I can see his distorted face, the hollow look in his eyes. If he is even having a shred of doubt, maybe my plan will work.
He strips his clothing off, fully revealing himself, and then slips in the bed with me, recreating the pose we were in when I fell asleep with his arm resting in a P shape for me to lay upon. I feel him try to shift my weight, but I stir, startling him. He whispers apologetically to me, “Sorry about that, Dani. I didn’t mean to wake you.”
I stretch my words out, my voice in a much higher pitch as I ask innocently, “Where did you go? It felt like you were gone forever.”
“Just to the, uh, bathroom. You can go back to sleep now. I’m here.” He leans over and kisses me gently on my cheek. His warm mouth flutters against my skin so the moisture lingers. I turn slightly onto my side, and reaching behind me, grab his thick arm to place around my chest. His body follows, spooning up against me so that the only thing between us is my pair of shorts and his old scratchy t-shirt.
I hum slightly, leaning the back of my head into his chest so he can get a whiff of my shampoo, “You feel so good, Ash.” My hips slightly sway into the crook of his body with my ass resting just above his hips. I can feel him hesitate, as if he isn’t sure if he should act on his feelings. But even just my minor movements are causing something down there to stir.
I feel him take a deep breath in, inhaling me into his senses, as he answers back, “I don’t want to push you to do anything you don’t want to, but damn, if you keep moving those hips like that, I’m going to have to take you.”
I roll over towards him quickly before he can stop me. In one swift move, I hitch my leg over his hip and force him back down into the bed so I am straddling him. I rip off that t-shirt, and stare down at him with wanting eyes. Even though this is all part of my plan, I can’t help but feel my own blood spike and the senses between my legs twinge as I stare down at my chiseled sculpture of a man. Despite being in the dark of this small cabin home, I can still see the flicker in his eyes say back to me, “Game on.”
I lower my head to his chest and open my mouth slightly. Nothing in me has ever wanted to taste someone as badly as I want a lick of him. My tongue begins along the base of his neck and moves between the lines of his chest. His pecks give me ample space to cover as I travel the long length of his torso. Ash tastes of salt and earth. It’s everything a guy should taste like and more. Even his smell is something tribal and dangerous. He’s forbidden fruit.
My tongue dashes around his belly button till it finds the small trail of hair pointing its way downwards. I stop and look up at him, my mouth almost wide open. His hands, wrapped in the white bed sheets, reach up and grab a chunk of my messy hair. They guide me down, down, down till that smell of his cock fills my nostrils.
Ash is already semi-hard, and I smile wickedly at the thought that I have the power to whip him up in a frenzy with just a few moves of my hips and a spread of my tongue. If he likes what I just did to him seconds ago, he’s going to be completely lost when I get my mouth around that shaft of his.
But I don’t go for it right away. I want to dominate him some more, make him feel like mush under my control. I want him absolutely dying for me. Instead of taking him deep in my mouth, I plant kisses around his base, careful not to touch the actual skin of his dick. When I’m done circling, I open my lips and blow hot warm up and down his length, again being careful to not touch my lips to him. Ash sits up, curiously watching me from the head of the bed. I push aside his hands as he tries to get me down.
“Not yet, Ash,” I whisper, emphasizing his name in a deep, long huff of air. He sighs roughly and rests his head up against the wall and his back propped up on pillows. It gives me just the right angle to place my head between his legs and mimic the same move with the underside of his cock. I watch as his toes curl and his legs stiffen against my breath. He hates not being in control.
When I know he’s had just about enough, I give him a taste, just a taste, of what I have to offer. My mouth licks at him softly and just at the tip. He practically cries out, his moans are so loud. I hear his balled up fist slam into the bed. I lick again, this time, at his hip where I can feel the jut of his hipbone. And then another time, this time moving as fast as I can to his turgid nipples before he can stop me. He gasps as I steal another lick between his legs, this time making sure I apply just the right amount of moisture. I want him to feel like my mouth is creating pins and needles from the wanting.
I try it again, near his shaft, but he finally catches me. His long arms reach around and under my arms and lift me up so I sit off to the side of him. He slides behind me, standing just off of the side of the bed. I’m totally exposed to him like this with me on my hands and knees at the edge of the bed. Ash doesn’t let me sit like that for long when he flips me over to my back, my feet hitting the floor and steadying themselves while my back stretches long over the chaos of sheets and pillows.
He places a hand at the small of my back to hold me still. My legs part as I wait for him to enter me, but he surprises me, getting down on his knees before me. I hear his voice break through the darkness, “Please, Dani. Let me taste you.”
He’s begging me? Me? I thought I’m the one who is supposed to do the pleading. I lift my head slightly off of the bed so I can get a good look at his hungry face. His eyes are downcast, focused on the spaces between my parted legs.
I force myself to stand. I want to see this up close and personally. As I jut out my jaw, I reply stiffly as possible, “Say it again. Beg me again.”
Ash wraps his hand around my calf while his head rests up against the inside of my thigh. The small window facing out towards the ocean provides just a glimmer of moonlight that reflects upon his tan skin. In the window’s reflection, I see myself standing tall, firm, resolute like a goddess to be worshiped. I’m not ready to give up this control just yet.
I feel the bristle of his unshaven cheek scratch at some of my most sensitive skin. Into my thigh, he whispers between long, anguished kisses, “Please, Dani. Please.” His fingers somehow magically appear at the hem of my shorts. He slips them down slowly, his lips following their trail down to my bare feet. He lifts one leg and then another till the panties are fully removed.
I’m speechless, but I manage to nod my head frantically back at him. When he doesn’t move, I reach down and grab the top of his head and lead it directly up towards my waiting slit. I can already feel the juices flowing steadily, the moisture and heat waiting for him eagerly. He inhales again, just as he did with my hair. This time, he holds his breath, smothering himself in my scent. When he finally exhales, I feel the heat of his breath tickle up against me, sending chills up my spine.
I bend myself backwards, letting my head and back fall gently into the stiff bed. My hips lift slightly upwards and my legs part as far as possible. My own hands sink to my hips and between my legs just above my hips. I touch myself tenderly, mimicking the kisses and licks he is flowering me with. Ash notices my motions and moves back slightly, eyeing me as I part the skin hiding my clit and begin slowly teasing at it.
I think I hear him laugh or let out a happy sigh. Whatever it is about seeing me touch myself drives him wild. He darts back between my legs and peels away my folds. His fingers gently hold me apart as his tongue traces the inside of my labia. It’s rough and soft all at the same time. Every nerve can feel each and every bump on his tongue, the hint of his teeth, the light suction of his lips as he clasps around my outer shell.
Together, we both pick up the pace. I massage while he sucks and licks. My legs lift upwards and find the top of his shoulders as he wraps them around the back of his neck. I pull him even closer, wanting nothing else than to feel him deep inside of me. My toes curl as I feel my stomach do somersaults over and over again with each movement from his mouth and stroke of my finger.
I let out a gasp that I’m not sure is even human. My voice seems to be lost in my throat as I want to plead with him to continue. But I remember myself and my plan and needing him to be under my control. I somehow managed to make that happen. Dani, the conqueror. I can’t give that up now for the sake of my orgasm. I close my eyes tightly and try to focus on the scent of my body working itself up, his hair tickling my stomach, his fingers wrapping around my thigh…
It’s too much. I can’t hold on anymore. Everything in me goes light as if I am being hit by lightning over and over again. I am more alive than I have ever been, and I feel myself
grabbing at blankets and sheets to try to stabilize me. I’m yelling. I know I’m yelling, but I have no idea what I am trying to say. Ash doesn’t relent, though. His head between my thighs, he holds me down tighter to the bed and takes over massaging at my clit when I can’t take it anymore.
“Ash! Ash! Oh my God! Ash!” I let out, crying for him. My body releases itself, everything softening and tightening for what feels like hours but only really lasts for a few sweet, otherworldly seconds. I know that as I am orgasming, I am falling, physically at least. But I’m not really aware until my knees hit the hard, wooden plank floor with a soft thud. Ash is under me, his naked body, cushioning my fall. His arms are still hooked around my waist.
He props himself up so we are inches from one another, my back resting against his legs. I place my arms around his neck and pull him in for a long, deep kiss. It’s a kiss that makes my sink deeper into him, my grip as tightly as possible around him. That feeling of my orgasm lingers around as waves and waves of happiness fill me up. There is nothing like kissing Ash. There never will be.