“I didn’t know. I thought the promotion was for you.”
Lucifer felt a cold flash, and the air had a stench to it.
“Well, it wasn’t.” He dropped his hand from Saraquel’s armor. “It’s fine.”
Lucifer dove off the side and flew toward the Marble Falls. Saraquel stayed close behind, shouting as they flew. “I wanted to say I’m sorry! I also realized that you were displeased with the throne. We destroyed that one and started anew. It will be an even greater one now, Lucifer. You will soon sit next to God, I’m sure.”
“No, I won’t. And I am tired of waiting.” Lucifer flew with all his might over the Field of Tranquility. It turned from canary yellow to oxblood red. He’d never seen red in the field before. Below him, he heard angels talking about it as they pointed up at him. When he reached the falls, he dropped down, his feet crushing into the ground.
Saraquel landed heavily beside him. “With every ending there is a new beginning. I’m sure this will all pass soon.”
From Saraquel’s annoying comment, Lucifer suddenly realized the question that would surely change Heaven forever. It hit him like a punch in the stomach. How could there be an end with no beginning, and how could there be a beginning with no end?
God couldn’t be the Alpha and the Omega because that was fundamentally impossible. Someone or something must have created God. But who? When? God wasn’t here before Lucifer, and even if He was, maybe He destroyed His creator. Something or someone must have created Him. He was not above Lucifer.
He turned to Saraquel, who had finally gone silent and waited for a response. Before Lucifer could speak, a familiar scent hit his nose. The air smelled fresh again. Intoxicating. Turning, he saw Thyaterra gliding toward him from across the falls. She wore a flowing white dress with hints of blue as light reflected from the angles her form made beneath it. The backdrop of greens from the Forest of Harmony made the image a masterpiece. She was a breath of life in the suffocating Heaven. As quickly as he was conscious of the beauty headed his way, he also realized how unlikely it was that she would be down there. What was she doing here?
“Saraquel, I need to speak with Thyaterra. You can find me later.”
“I understand.”
Saraquel walked away as Thyaterra approached.
“Thyaterra?”
“Hello, Lucifer. I wanted to see you.” As she floated over to him, he noticed the concern in her eyes.
“I’ve been meaning to see you again also.”
“What is happening?”
“Follow me.”
Lucifer dove over the cliff, his wings propelling him faster as he shot down the Marble Falls. Thyaterra followed him to the lower fall. He glided down to a swath of thick green grass where fresh flowers grew near the spray of the falls. He picked a purple one for her, her favorite color.
“Do you know I love you, Thyaterra?”
“Yes. And I love you.”
“You know my passion for God and all of His praises has been my eternal ambition, and I have never faltered.”
“Yes.”
“Things have changed, Terra.” He yearned for her approval but could not keep the bitterness from his voice. “My passion for Him has faded.”
“Lucifer, you are the highest of the cherubim. God loves you more than any angel and has blessed you with more than you even know.”
“I have followed Him my whole existence and led worship time after time. Of course, He pretends to love me. What do we get from Him? He loves Himself more than anything and would have us all worship Him, blind to reason for eternity.”
Thyaterra’s mouth closed, and she took a step backward with wide eyes. Lucifer took a deep breath and stepped toward her.
“I have a new passion now. My passion is the truth,” he said.
“God has never lied to any of us. We both love Him. What is this about, Lucifer?”
She seemed to stare right through him. He snagged the flower from her hand and started shredding it. He could barely control his hands to pull the tiny petals apart, so he threw it in frustration to the ground. Thyaterra quickly stepped back again but this time much farther.
“A Son! After all I have done.” He slouched in weakness as he momentarily sought comfort in her eyes.
“I know you are hurt, but He loves you no less.”
“I am not hurt. He will never hurt me.” He pulled his shoulders together. “What do we worship Him for, Terra?”
“Lucifer, He would have us worship Him because He is worthy to be praised. He is the truth. I know you have been to the cosmos and there are things none of us can understand happening all around us, but do not lose your love for our God.”
“How do you know about the cosmos?”
She didn’t answer him.
“Tell me! How do you know about the cosmos, Terra?”
“Please calm down.”
“Did God tell you I went there already?”
“Yes, but Bretabian also saw you come from the water.”
“Bretabian? Why was he following me?”
“I don’t know; I am just telling you what he told me.”
Lucifer snarled. “Neither he nor God knows anything of what I have seen! I have more knowledge of the cosmos than God and the rest of the seraphim combined.”
“You are brilliant, Lucifer. Do not let your gift lead you astray. Stay humble before God. Sometimes faith is all we need when reason sends us down a different path.”
Lucifer stomped on a pink flower. A tiny bit of powder flew up from it and struck Lucifer in the face. It smelled terrible. “Where did God come from? How do you know He doesn’t have all of us fooled?”
She looked down at the mangled flower and back up at Lucifer. It started regrowing. “God has always been and always will be.”
As the flower grew perfectly back into its original form, Lucifer stepped on it again and this time left his foot there. He looked at Thyaterra as he twisted his foot into the ground. “I could tell you I am the same. I was here before you. Would you believe that I am a god also? Tell me why God has no answers for any of my questions as of late. I’ll tell you why—He doesn’t know.”
“God knows everything. We both know that.”
“No, only one of us thinks that now. I’ll show you I am right. I want you to join me in finding the answers God hides from us.” He lifted his foot and waited as the mangled flower once again grew to perfection.
“Lucifer, I can’t join you in whatever you are doing.”
Lucifer hesitated, watching the flower. When it was done reforming, he picked it and handed it to her. “Please.”
She took the flower and a new one sprouted up in its place. “I love God. Don’t ask that of me. He is not lying about anything.”
“I need you.”
She winced.
“Whose side are you on?”
“Stop this, Lucifer. You know I will not betray our Father.”
“He is not my Father anymore.”
“Please don’t say that.”
Lucifer clenched his fists and felt his fingernails digging deep into his palms. “I am leaving. Do not follow me.”
Two tears fell from her green eyes, but she didn’t.
He crashed down from the platform to the deep blue of the water below. The once-beautiful world under water meant nothing this time. Fish darted out of his way to avoid being pummeled as he sank through like a boulder. The deeper he went the darker it became, but the glow he gave off from the remnants of God’s glory allowed him to barely see until the last moment of blackness. This was where he remembered cutting through a black hole to the cosmos.
He came out on the other side and shook the water from his wings. He took in the beauty of the cosmos again, of the other worlds suspended there in the deep black. The nearest planet was lovely, covered in blue and green, and he felt immediate ownership of it. A new home. Thyaterra no longer mattered. More importantly, God no longer mattered. He had to keep telling himself that.
He flew toward it through the emptiness of the cosmos, and at length he passed through a layer of cloud and landed on the surface. He didn’t know what to do, so he roamed the stretches of unkempt fields of grass. There were forests too, but the trees weren’t uniform in height or layout and there was no structure to anything. Everything grew wild, and there were apparently no rules. It was perfectly imperfect. He roamed mountaintops, vast distances of nothing but windswept oceans, and deserts void of life. He liked the sandy deserts with their towering dunes, but the heat reminded him of the warmth of God’s throne. He flew away and came down upon a jungle with plush green trees and long waterfalls.
He thought of Thyaterra. God had warped her mind. He controlled her just like He used to control Lucifer. Just like He would control His new Son. He felt rage welling up in him again, only this time he did not try to hold it in.
Lucifer grabbed the nearest tree by its base and ripped it from the earth, roots and all. Bark fell all around from where his grip crushed into the base of the tree. Dirt dropped as the dangling roots snapped off where they fed into the ground. He tore up many, flipping them over, running forward a few steps, and hurling each of them over a mile into a large body of water. They descended deep, branches first. It felt good. He ripped off branches because he liked the snap they made as they broke. He hurled these as far as he could.
He tore up more trees, his anger unabated, and he began to realize that he could feel the life drain from the trees as the roots separated from the ground. It was incredible. By severing the base of the tree from its life source, it actually died and did not grow back. The realization struck him with equal parts wonder and horror.
He could control life in his new world.
Gabriel knew the best place to cool down and get his mind off the accident. In fact it was a part of his daily routine to visit the Canyon Reef. Here, a towering, U-shaped mountainside held estates carved out for hierarch angels; they directly overlooked the shore of a private sea. The bright-neon coral reef below was easily visible through the crystal-clear water. The solid rock of the mountainside almost melted directly into the sandy beach, like they were one and the same. It was beautiful and a popular spot among angels, though today he hoped to be alone.
Gabriel peeked around a stone corner at the bottom of a wall bordering the estates. He looked around the carved columns, across the sandy beach, and out over the water. No one was in sight. He stepped out and ran his feet into the white sand. A cool breeze came in off the water as he approached the gentle surf. As he leaned over to wet his face, he heard a familiar voice behind him.
“Gabriel.”
He accidentally threw water up his nose. He coughed it all up, but it took way too long. Arrayah laughed quietly. She must have come around from the back side of the mountain.
“What are you doing here?”
“I came to find you. I asked around and heard you like to come here.”
“Raphael was wrong back there.”
“Gabriel, listen.” Her gaze, previously so direct, was averted, and she clutched her necklace—her thumb rubbing a slow circle over the word Humilitas. “I know you weren’t trying to hurt me.”
There was something about her that made it difficult to breathe, and it wasn’t just the water in his throat. “Yes. I mean, no.” He let out something like a laugh and nodded. “Right. You’re right. That’s what I’ve been saying.”
Her hands dropped to her sides, and for a moment she looked lost, with her wings gently fluttering and her eyes skipping everywhere before finally landing on him. The water around them gave off a misty cloud that smelled like sweet soap.
“No, I mean, I’ve never thought it. I just have this feeling that you would never do anything to hurt me.” She took two steps, and the space between them disappeared. When he said nothing and only stared at her, she pressed on, her words tumbling out. “Not because I’m so wonderful. Just because of you, who I sense you are.”
His hand raised between them, one finger brushing her necklace. “You’re always so humble, but you have so little reason to be.” From there, it seemed natural for his hand to drift up and rest against her face—a simple, automatic gesture, but when her eyes closed and a smile claimed her face, he felt like something in his world had shifted.
“Gabriel!”
Arrayah seemed as startled as he was, and she stumbled back from him as his hand fell away. A moment after Michael’s voice tore through the air, they were buffeted by the downdraft of his massive wings as he descended beside them. Michael pushed Gabriel back with one hand. “It’s bad enough you’re turning your back on the job God has set aside for you in the future. Now you’re leaving your post, destroying buildings, endangering other angels—what were you thinking?”
Anger surged up in Gabriel, and he shoved Michael away from him, hard. “Back off and calm down, Michael.”
“Oh, I’m calm. And although I know God doesn’t make mistakes, He must see something that I don’t. I thought you’d come around, but obviously I was wrong.”
Arrayah raised a hand, her voice quiet. “Excuse me, I know you mean well, but you don’t know the whole story.”
Michael turned to see Arrayah’s face, and an awkward pause followed. Gabriel eventually felt it had to be broken. “Michael.”
He was still frozen, just looking at her.
“Michael, have you met Arrayah before?”
Michael’s gaze jerked back to Gabriel. “Arrayah? This is the virtue angel you nearly crushed?”
Gabriel, counting inwardly to ten, had forced his fists to unclench from his sides. He pushed down the things he wanted to shout at Michael, instead preparing to describe, evenly and precisely, what had happened at the community building’s unveiling.
“Yes, but that was an accident.”
Arrayah looked over to Michael in confirmation. “It really was. He would never hurt me.”
Michael paused awkwardly again. He looked at the two of them like he didn’t know how to speak. Finally he said to Arrayah, “What is a virtue doing hanging around an archangel anyway? Are you going to wait around the mountainside until he drops a boulder on you?”
Gabriel drew his sword.
Michael’s weapon cleared its sheath a second later, and Gabriel swung a downward blow, the blades locking with a clash of steel that echoed across the beach. There was no real power behind the attack—despite the lack of warning, Gabriel was holding back. For a moment, they simply looked at each other between the crossed swords. Gabriel took a step away. Arrayah moved all the way off the beach to the grass behind it. Michael was wearing a loose robe over his tunic, and Gabriel waited as he drew it off and tossed it aside. Michael raised his sword, and they began to circle.
“You really are a terrible brother, Michael.”
“You know that’s not true.”
“Maybe you’re right,” Gabriel said. “Maybe fighting is all I’m good at.” Arrayah stood on the periphery, looking from one to the other. She fidgeted uncomfortably and seemed to be looking for an escape.
“I never said that. In fact, I never said you were all that good at fighting.” Michael swung his sword in a lazy arc. He executed a high slice, easily parried.
“You don’t have to say it, I can tell by the defeat on your face every time we spar.” He noticed Arrayah slowly creeping away. “Wait.” Gabriel tried to pause for Arrayah, but Michael lunged aggressively. He couldn’t ignore him.
“I’ve waited long enough for you to come around, Gabriel. You’re hopeless these days.”
Gabriel shifted toward Michael with a swift counterattack and sent him backward two steps. Michael blocked, attacked, countered again. Their swords moved in technical precision, but casually, like a dance in which both knew the steps by heart.
“You’re losing confidence in this vision of yours then?” Gabriel said.
“No. Only losing confidence in you.”
Gabriel threw his sword into the sand. It stuck in the ground inches from Mi
chael’s toes. He looked over to the grass, but Arrayah was gone.
“Nice job, Michael! She left! Is this why you came here? What do you want from me?” Gabriel started to walk up the shore, looking around for her.
“It’s time for you to wake up. It’s been time. I can’t do everything for you anymore, and things are about to change drastically in Heaven.”
“Here we go again. Leave me alone; I’m going to find Arrayah.”
“You shouldn’t be spending time with that virtue!”
Gabriel turned and stepped directly up to Michael. “And why is that, O war leader?”
Michael shook his head. He was holding something back Gabriel knew. What was it?
“Do whatever you want, Gabriel. I know what God showed me. It’s coming whether you are ready or not. I can’t help you if you don’t want to help yourself. Just trust me, and stay away from that virtue.” Michael turned the opposite direction and walked four heavy steps before he spread his wings to take off.
Gabriel felt lightheaded. The massive draft of wind from the angry downstroke of Michael’s wings almost knocked him over. What did Michael know?
Lucifer spent the next two days taking his years of pent-up jealousy and anger toward God and letting it out on this new environment. He had decided to name this world Terra, after her. It was his to name, after all. The dense area of trees was now a barren wasteland. Every animal within a hundred miles was gone. It was good they ran. If trees could be separated from their life source, perhaps animals could too. Lucifer was almost ready to find out.
He felt as if he were discovering a newly found gift that God was keeping from everyone. When Lucifer destroyed the trees and other plants, he could feel the subtle energy they gave off before the life inside them was gone. Some clung on more tightly than others, and he could feel the fight inside them. They could struggle all they wanted, but they weren’t in control. He was. He respected the ones that fought harder. If the roles were reversed, he would fight the hardest. He knew that.
War of Wings Page 5