by Jacob Allen
Thankfully, Mom was a woman of her word and kept the whole thing to a mere five minutes. As soon as it ended, I stood up in a hurry, grabbed my shoes, and tried to tune out the conversation my father was having with Kevin. It was not a stern, “treat my daughter well” conversation; it was much more playful, making Kevin laugh at something I didn’t hear.
I came out, all but grabbed Kevin by the arm, and nodded to Mom and Dad.
“Well, thanks for all that,” I said, trying my best to sound sincere.
“May you both have positive energy for the evening,” my mother said with a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
“Be safe, munchkin,” Dad said, followed by a kiss on the forehead. “And I mean both of you be safe. You know what I mean.”
“Oh my God, Dad!”
I hurried Kevin out, who was smirking and then waving goodbye to my parents, before they could say anything more embarrassing. Bad enough that my father had offered him a beer and then meditated with him—now he was all but telling us to practice safe sex?
My father really was a hippy.
I loved him, but heavens!
“Sorry about all that,” I said as Kevin got into my Jeep.
“Sorry?” Kevin said, buckling his seat belt. “That was amazing.”
“Please don’t mock me or tell anyone—”
Kevin placed his hand on top of mine, resting on the parking break. It was a surprisingly tender gesture from someone I was more used to having blunt actions or taunting language.
“I’m serious, Jackie,” Kevin said. “It’s nice that you have that. Not everyone does. You don’t have anything to be embarrassed about. If anything, you should be grateful for that.”
“I hate being poor and I hate my father.” Is it any wonder that he would actually be grateful to have this? Is it any surprise that he would say something like this?
“OK,” I said with a smile. “Thanks Kevin.”
“Kiss me.”
And so I did, but it was a short kiss. My parents, after all, could still see us.
My embarrassment and shock at what my family had done more or less had vanished by the time we pulled up to the school gym. I still couldn’t believe all of that had happened—and most especially, I still couldn’t fathom that my father had offered Kevin a beer and had advised us to practice safe sex—but Kevin’s humble appreciation for it and the fact that I was finally at Sadie Hawkins with my high school crush went a long way to putting that in the corner.
The party had been going on for about half an hour by the time we got there. I thought I saw Emily’s car there, but I kept looking for Samantha’s. I didn’t have any luck, but there was a decent chance she just hadn’t shown up yet. Though, then again, she never did say who she was going with.
I got into the door of the gym when, in no time, a tall figure with a five o’clock shadow approached, wearing a cocky grin.
“Damn, looking good, Kevin,” Adam said, hugging him. “And Jackie, beautiful as always.”
As he hugged me, I thought I smelled alcohol on him, but I didn’t say anything.
“We’re all over there in the bleachers,” Adam said. “Watching over the crowd. You should come.”
I looked to Kevin, who tilted his head in the direction of the Broad Street Boys. I didn’t see any reason not to; so long as we got to dance at some point, I was happy with however tonight turned out.
When I got there, I saw Emily wearing a sparkly, wine-colored dress. She stood and embraced me tightly as we both told the other that they looked so beautiful. And it was true. I loved nights like tonight, where we got to dress in our finest. It showcased the best of everyone in our class.
Except…
“Where’s Samantha?”
Emily’s smile pulled into a grimace and then morphed into a sigh.
“She’s not coming,” she said. “I think she’s over the Providence Prep social scene.”
Poor girl. Maybe we could have tried to set her up with Nick—
As soon as I had that thought, I saw Nick on the other side of Adam, sitting with some cheerleader that I think Adam had taken to homecoming. I didn’t remember her name, but it was pretty obvious that Nick was not into her at all. I wondered why Nick had said yes to her, but there was a lot going on in Nick’s world that I’d heard hints at but not necessarily totally followed.
“Ladies and gentlemen,” Adam said, turning his back to the dance as he faced all of us. “Squeeze in, squeeze in, come on, we’re all dates here.”
Kevin gave a short chuckle, but it actually sounded sincere. If there were any lingering concerns about him and Adam after their fight a month or so ago, that went a long way to dispelling it.
“Tonight is the last dance we’ll have until prom,” Adam said. “And it would be a real shame if we let it go to waste without a little something something.”
With his right arm tucked against his side, he very slyly revealed a bottle of Fireball Whiskey from his jacket, delighting Emily and making Kevin chuckle. I knew there was no chance that I was touching this tonight, since I had to drive, but I didn’t mind Kevin having a bit. If it loosened him up and got us to dance some, all the better.
I didn’t want him to lose; I didn’t think that I was going to go all the way with Kevin tonight. I did have to admit, though, the longer that I was with him and watched him, the more that thought went from “no way in hell” to “if there’s anyone I would lose it to…”
“Kevin, Jackie, Emily, Nick, Jane—let’s do this, shall we?”
Adam passed the bottle around, standing in front of whoever was taking the drink to prevent the chaperones from seeing the action. Adam briefly gave me gruff for not drinking, but when I mentioned I was driving…
It actually only further reinforced Adam’s encouragement.
“I got limos, you know,” Adam said with a snort. “And if you don’t want to be so fancy, we can call you Ubers.”
“Adam,” I said. “Thank you, but I’m good.”
He shrugged. I just didn’t think he realized the consequences of being poor—obviously, having a limo or an Uber called for us had no cost. But when we had to come back to school to get my Jeep and pay for that?
Well, I supposed Kevin could drive us. But still. The rich never had to worry about the hidden costs. Kevin and I had to constantly be vigilant about them.
The six of us sat in our spot, everyone but me and Nick drinking from the bottle for about fifteen minutes, as the conversation naturally flowed around a bunch of different topics, from Nashville SC soccer to the zoo to the best places to grab late-night pizza. It was light and easy, and the perfect kind of way to start a night.
And then, once Adam had put the bottle away and whisked Emily away for a dance, I felt a firm hand reach around me, grab my stomach, and pull me in close.
Damn, this close to Kevin, he smelled good. And I didn’t even notice the Fireball Whiskey breath, either. He must have smartly managed to pop something that would prevent the smell from lingering.
“You’re damn beautiful,” he said, whispering into my ear. “I’m sorry for acting the way I did. I was only jealous of everything good in your life. But you’re really fucking beautiful.”
I all but melted within Kevin’s hand. He whirled me around and planted a kiss on my lips, and I’ll be damned if it wasn’t the perfect balance of aggression and passion. Now this—this was a Kevin that I liked.
That I really, really liked.
I guess a little bit of alcohol did some good.
“Come on,” he said. “Let’s go dance. I want to see if you can move as good as you looked.”
“Oh, just you wait,” I said.
I was surprised at the confidence of my own words. I rarely spoke with such certainty; maybe some of Kevin’s confidence was wearing off on me and making me act this way. Not that it was bad—if anything, I relished having the confidence to speak like so.
We got to the dance floor and I wasted no time showing off my skills for Ke
vin. I tried my best to limit the hip-on-hip grinding with chaperones watching, but that didn’t mean I didn’t occasionally press up on him. Emily cheered me loudly whenever I did so, making me a little embarrassed at first. I stopped caring after a spell, though, and instead, my mind shifted to something much more… private.
See, I liked to think of myself as a good girl. I was still a virgin. Of course I had libido and I had drive, but I kept it in check. I wanted to save myself for someone special, and so far, I had.
But whenever I was pressed up on Kevin, I could feel him getting excited in his pants. And when he was getting excited, he was getting really excited. And when he got excited, I got excited.
I still wasn’t willing to say if this was the night that I would lose my virginity. I knew that Kevin, if he kept up his honest, good behavior, would likely be the one to take it, but I didn’t know if I’d give it up this quickly.
But this feeling, this urge to just take Kevin somewhere private and get naked with him, that was something that I had not experienced before. It was like a drug with no bad side effects.
I had to relish it. I had to have more of it.
And so it was that over the next hour, I got more and more assertive and aggressive with my dancing. I’d throw my arms around his neck. I’d kiss him. I’d bite his neck. Every little thing just made him that more excited, which in turn got me going.
At one point, when he paused to go to the bathroom with Adam, I realized that I was all but sealing my own fate. It hadn’t gotten fully sealed, but given the sexual energy was only increasing…
Well, if it went down like so, I didn’t mind. He was a good person—a person with an apparently awful upbringing and a terrible father, but despite that, he was a good person. He just took out his anger in inappropriate ways.
This continued for about ten more minutes after he came back, but then, as he was dancing with me, he belched with his mouth closed. It could have been much worse, but when Kevin pardoned himself, he added something that would prove quite ominous.
“I’m feeling a little drunk, babe,” he said.
“Do you wanna go sit down?”
“Nah, fuck it,” Kevin said with a laugh. “Show me what you got, little Mama.”
If I had to do the night all over again, I would have forced him to sit down. It would have prevented what happened next.
Kevin and I started to spin, but while I was in control, Kevin was decidedly not. In fact, there was a part of him that seemed to relish being out of control; it was like he wanted to be so free and so loose that he would just let momentum carry him wherever it wanted to do. As it turned out, that was right into a chaperone’s arms.
“Sorry, sorry,” I said as I ran over. “Just a little crazy.”
“Behave yourselves,” the chaperone, an older woman probably in her fifties, said. “I’m watching your dancing. It’s getting a little inappropriate for a school dance.”
I tried to ignore the arrogance of the woman’s statement, but she was right in one regard. If Kevin continued to dance as he was, it was going to draw looks that we would not enjoy having to address.
“Keep it down, OK?” I whispered into his ear. “You’re embarrassing us.”
“Whatever, don’t be a goody two shoes.”
That was not the reaction I expected. I probably should have, though, given that his words were starting to slur.
“We’re the Broad Street Boys, we can do whatever we want.”
“Kevin!” I snapped, perhaps a little too hard. “Just, keep it cool, OK?”
Kevin bit his lip and said nothing. Instead, he started to smirk at me, a kind of sexually charged expression on his face. It was kind of hot, but I was hot in a different way about what had just happened.
We went back to dancing for the remaining hour of the dance, but Kevin wasn’t getting any more sober. Whatever he’d done in the bathroom was continuing to hit him harder and harder. Thankfully, I was as sober as a rock, and when the lights came on, I hugged Kevin, the better to not make it obvious he was drunk.
“I’m sorry if I’m buzzed,” he said. “I just, just wanted to, like, have some… courage to make the move, ya know what I’m saying?”
I did. That was sweet in its honesty. At this point, I didn’t think I was going to sleep with him. There was just too much done in the last couple hours for me to completely ignore it.
But that didn’t mean I minded getting alone for a bit and kissing him.
“Come with me,” I said.
I took Kevin to my car, putting my arm around him to keep him upright, and helped him get into my Jeep. I took him to a private parking lot about a mile away. Parked the car, dimmed the lights, and leaned over to kiss him.
Kevin, with sheer force, lifted me out of my seat, pulled me on top of him, and began kissing my neck.
Oh, heavens, no one had ever kissed me there like this before. I swore it was like the magic spot to turn me on instantly. I went from just wanting to kiss him to finding my hands daring to run down his body, not quite touching his groin but brushing over to catch just a feel of it.
Kevin flipped me over, giving a short laugh as he did.
“I want you, Jackie,” he said.
I felt a nervous rush in my stomach, but it felt like the right kind of nervous drop. It was akin to the kind of drop one felt on a roller coaster; terrifying and scary, but in a way where you know nothing bad is going to happen.
Do it. No better time.
“Then take me, Kevin,” I said.
He kissed me on my lips before moving again to my neck. My hips pulsated and pushed against his, and my legs wrapped around him. God, how I needed this.
He moved to my collarbone and kissed me there more, and my hands reached to pull his jacket off. He moved slowly down my chest, reaching my breasts…
And he paused.
He hadn’t kissed either breast yet, hadn’t even exposed them. But he paused as if he was admiring them.
“Kevin? What’s going on?”
He held up a single finger.
And then, in a mad rush, his hands fumbled for the door handle. But he wasn’t able to reach it in time, and he was soon vomiting all over me and the side of my car.
“Oh my God!” I screamed as I tried to climb out from under him and into the driver’s seat.
The majority of his vomit did not hit me, but even just a small amount was enough to disgust me. I wiped it off in horror, feeling embarrassed and ashamed I’d let my date get to this point.
“Oh, fuck,” Kevin said, having finally gotten the car door open. “I don’t know if that was the nerves or the alcohol. Come on, where were we?”
“Are you serious?” I shrieked.
I didn’t lose control often, but how else was I supposed to feel after Kevin had taken a moment of my most vulnerable and excited and literally thrown up on it?
“You just puked on me, and your reaction is to keep going and having sex?”
“Baby, come on, it’s—”
There was only one reason he could have possibly wanted to keep going. If he doesn’t think he’ll get a shot after tonight. So he wanted to fuck me and then not talk to me.
“Kevin,” I said, trying not to become too emotional. “Seriously? This is how you treated me?”
“Oh, come on, sugar, not like you’ve never dealt with a drunk before? It’s like training for college!”
I’m a joke to him right now. I’m a body for him to fuck and a person to make jokes too.
“Kevin,” I said, asserting control of the situation. “Here’s what’s going to happen.”
I braced myself. I had to spare no words in how I spoke right now.
“I am not going to fuck you,” I said, trying not to cringe at the swearing. “I am not going to kiss you again tonight. I am not going to touch you again tonight. You are in no condition to drive. You’re really not in any condition to do anything tonight. I am, however, going to drive you home.”
“No!”
I knew he’d have that reaction. I’d just hoped it would be a little more subdued than that.
“Absolutely fucking not! Do not take me to my father like this.”
“You should have thought of that before you got this drunk.”
“I got this drunk because it’s the one time I had to let loose and not worry about him!” Kevin said. It may have been a sob story, but it wasn’t going to work on me right now. “Jackie, let’s go someplace else. I’ll, I’ll clean up and stuff. Let’s just—”
“Kevin,” I said sternly. “Here’s the deal. I don’t want to be with you right now. If you don’t like it, you should have thought of that before you threw up on me. You have two options. Either I drive you to your house and then I’ll pick you up in the morning and take you to your car, or you can get out now and get your car whenever you want. Either way, I’m spending tonight alone.”
Kevin and I stared each other down for what felt like a full hour, as if trying to see who would crack first. Kevin, acknowledging my rules? Or me, the girl who’d just gotten thrown up on yet succumbing to the man I’d wanted for some time?
“Fucking bitch,” Kevin growled. “You want me to go home and get beaten? Fine. Fuck off.”
With that, he got out of the car, slammed the door shut, and walked off. What was I to do?
He had no idea where he was. That much I knew. If he was serious about what he’d just said about his father, I didn’t want him to go home. But I didn’t want to take him in. My parents might have liked him sober, but if he looked like this, I’d never hear the end of it, and justifiably so.
Instead, I decided this was someone else’s problem. I pulled up my phone and called Adam.
“Jackie?” Adam said.
“Where are you?”
My voice was cracking. I breathed slowly to try and keep it under control, but tonight was getting to me.
“I’m headed back to my place, what’s going on?”
I bit my lip.
“Jackie?”
“Kevin got drunk and stormed off.”
I heard Adam swearing on the other line.