Ben popped his head out of the driver’s side window and smiled. “Hey Ruby. I didn’t want you out here alone. These gangs, they don’t stop at warnings.” He shook his head. “I called the gang task force and filled them in on this.”
I tipped my chin down and swallowed the lump in my throat. The paint poured all over my car was bright red in the sunlight. It looked black in the sodium vapor lights last night. It seemed worse, somehow. The violent color splashed all over my car and the asphalt like carnage.
“I thought the paint was black. I mean, last night it looked...” I said.
Ben hopped down from his seat and stood next to me. Upset, I let my head rest on his shoulder and sighed.
“We’ll catch the guys who did this.” He rubbed my back and spoke softly.
When I looked up, he smiled so earnestly I almost believed him. I wanted to tell him that it was probably Antonio and his minions sending me a message but decided against it. Ben would feel the need to track Antonio down, and I couldn’t chance him getting hurt on my account. So instead, I shook the bag in front of me.
“I brought the standard police currency.”
“Well, I hope you have bear-claws.”
Ben drove me to the clinic, telling me about the interesting calls he responded to last night. I had to admit, I liked the jeans-and-T-shirt Ben. His hair was even mussed up and fell over his forehead. I’d never noticed the gold in his eyes. I promptly stopped those thoughts and focused on his story.
“So I get to the laundry place and sure enough, there’s a guy dressed like a dinosaur inside trying to yank a washer out of the wall. He’d wrapped a chain around it and everything. I think he would have tried to pull it with his car if I hadn’t showed up. When I asked him what he was doing, he started complaining about how much it cost to wash the costume after the kid parties. He said at least once a week, a kid thinks it’s funny to chuck ice cream at him. I actually felt bad for the guy.”
I nibbled the rainbow sprinkle donut. “How is your partner?”
Ben stared out the window. “She’s doing OK. Seems like she isn’t too excited about leaving the new baby, but they can’t weather the loss of her income.”
“Must be hard to do,” I agreed.
“She’s still on the fence. Captain said he’d keep her slot with me open until she tells him otherwise. She’s got a couple more weeks, yet.”
Ben’s partner went on maternity leave almost a month ago, and he’d been holding out on getting another partner. Older than Ben, Trina was a matronly type, always trying to set Ben up with one of her six sisters.
“I really appreciate you giving me a ride, and all that you do, Ben. I mean, I know you don’t need to drive by the clinic every night, and I’m truly grateful.”
“It’s no problem, really,” he said and tilted his head. “I get to see you.”
His openness made me blush. There was nothing hidden with Ben. “Well, I just, uh, wanted to thank you.”
I looked out the window, grimacing at my own awkwardness and indecision towards him.
Ben cleared his throat. “Hey, Ruby.”
I turned back to him. “Yeah?”
“Would you like to go out to coffee with me sometime?”
I hesitated a second, my thoughts racing.
I didn’t know how to explain Tom…or if there was anything to explain, really. Besides, hadn’t I resolved to stop keeping Ben at arm’s length? He was nice.
“Sure, Ben, I’d like that.” Gazing into his sweet, concerned eyes, I smiled.
“How about tonight? Are you on call?”
I thought for a moment. I didn’t know how much of my stuff had been damaged by the break in but I was hoping whoever did it didn’t like my clothes enough to take them.
“Tonight is good.”
“Great.” He smiled broadly.
We pulled in front of the clinic and my heart stopped. When we got out, I gasped. More red paint. People walked past the police tape and peered in, but no one stopped, not in this neighborhood.
“Oh, no,” I said under my breath, a fresh wave of frustration rolling through my stomach.
I walked closer and felt my knees get weak. Then the anger started. My stomach burned at the sight of all of my hard work ruined by a monster like Antonio. The front windows, smashed in from the outside with cinder blocks, looked like gaping holes in a bleeding chest. Red paint splashed across the sidewalk, the front of the clinic, and even the parking meter near the street. It must have taken buckets of the stuff to be everywhere. I ran a hand through my hair. “Was there a sale on red paint or something?” I asked incredulously.
Ben scratched his head. “We believe whoever did this and your car back at the hospital got the paint from the unfinished Sports Medicine Wing.”
I made a bitter sound. The Sports Medicine Wing, a planning fiasco, remained unfinished for almost three months now. Donations of beds, furniture, and supplies arrived way before the funding for the actual building came in. As a result, the hospital stored everything in the construction area. Theft remained a major problem. Antonio apparently knew this, too.
“I can come over and help you clean up a little later this afternoon,” Ben offered. “I have to pick my sister up from the airport right now, though.” He looked at me apologetically.
“Oh, Ben, you’ve done enough, bringing me out here. I can’t imagine it was on your way anywhere.” I smiled and squeezed his arm. “I’ll be OK. Lilah is coming in later.”
“It’s really no problem, Ruby,” Ben murmured. “I want to help.”
“Well…” I sighed and looked at Ben. “I should take a look inside.”
Ben handed me a flashlight. He spoke quietly as if I’d fall apart with too much noise. “The lights are smashed out, so you’ll need this. Do you want me to come in with you?”
“No, Ben. Thanks. I need to see this myself.”
“OK, well, I’ll be right out here if you need me.”
I turned back to the clinic. Glass cracked under my shoes as I entered through the front door. Only one light overhead still worked. I squinted in the dim interior.
Last night, Ben said things were missing. He wasn’t kidding. Many supplies, chairs, and even the trash cans were gone. I stood in the middle of the ruined room and ran my gaze over everything, shocked. A muffled sob escaped my lips and I angrily wiped at my eyes.
“Ruby, are you OK?” Tom’s voice made me turn.
“Tom, what are you doing here?”
“I heard about what happened and came to make sure you weren’t hurt.”
I flapped arms at my sides, speechless. Tom’s hair was cut, styled in way that made him look like he belonged in a country club. He still had the stubble, though. It was a weird look, sort of high-end thug. He caught me staring, licked his pinkies, and used them to pretend groom his eyebrows. It was a move he used to do to make me laugh in class. I’m sure my smile wobbled, but the gesture brought back old memories of good times.
“You know who did this,” Tom said, and nodded at the paint on the floor.
It wasn’t a question.
“Antonio Llave,” I whispered. “The gang-banger I was telling you about. I think he did this.”
“I’ve researched a few things after you told me about him.” Anger flashed across his face. He’s busting through the ranks in the Culebras.” Tom scanned the damage. “This looks like a threat, not vandalism; minimal damage, but a big warning. You’re probably right.”
In the front room, a second voice echoed Tom’s words.
“Minimal damage?” Ben repeated. “Are you serious? Whoever did this caused hundreds of dollars’ worth of damage.” He walked in through the broken front window and joined Tom and I in the middle of the clinic lobby. My gaze flitted from Ben to Tom. I felt nervous with them in the same room.
“Yeah, I’m serious. Who are you?” Tom waved his hand at the room.
“I’m Officer Farrell,” Ben shot back. “I helped scrape you off the pavement the o
ther night.”
The same height, Tom and Ben stood facing each other in a weird standoff reminiscent of school-yard staring contests. I expected someone to double-dog dare someone at any moment.
“Tom, uh, Ben drove you and me to the hospital.”
Ben eyed Tom with suspicion.
Suddenly, Tom smiled and put out his hand.
“I never got a chance to thank you for that, Officer Farrell,” he said as he shook Ben’s hand. “Really, I appreciate you keeping my name out of this. I told my supervisor about how great you handled that situation.”
“Yeah, uh, no problem.” Ben was taken aback by Tom’s sudden change in demeanor. Tom turned to me, shoved a piece of gum in his mouth, and winked. I forgot how disarming Tom could be when he wanted, from rival to brother-in-arms with one charming smile. I always used to tease that he could sell ketchup ice-pops to a lady in white gloves.
“Ben, Tom is an old friend from…before I moved here,” I hedged.
Tom looked at Ben’s face, then at my awkward smile and grinned. He knew Ben liked me. He took a step over to me, wrapped his arm around my shoulder and kissed my hair.
“We’ve known each other for what, thirteen years?” Tom asked me.
Ben ground his jaw.
I groaned inwardly. Tom loved to poke at tigers. I pulled out of his arms, strode over to Ben, and kissed him on the cheek.
“Thank you again, Ben, for being there, and giving me a ride. I’ll be all right now. I’m going to start cleaning up,” I said.
“I’ll be going, then.” Ben shot a triumphant look at Tom. “Try to keep from getting dumped in an alley again tonight. I’m not on duty.”
“Oh, don’t worry. Ruby is really good at taking care of me.”
“Bye, Ben!” I said and pulled him towards the door.
“I’ll see you tonight, then?” Ben asked.
“Yes, Ben. Pick me up here at eight, OK?”
I watched him leave, then turned and frowned at Tom.
“Let me guess, coffee?” He flashed me a look of complete enjoyment.
I rolled my eyes and pushed Tom down the back hall towards the rear door. “Don’t you need to be somewhere dangerous?” I thought about his job and my heart wrenched with worry. “What about your cover, Tom? You’re not even supposed to be here, are you?”
“That can’t be concern I hear.” Tom stopped with arms across the doorway. He smiled down at me and I felt the flush on my cheeks. He put his forehead against mine. “You’re not staying here alone, are you?” He whispered, breath brushing my eyelids.
Tom never liked any space between us.
“What makes you think I’m staying here?” I stepped back, hands on my hips.
Tom cocked his head to the side and folded his arms. He already knew.
“How…?” I asked.
“It’s my job to know about people, Ruby. I can’t believe you gave up your apartment to keep this place open.”
I took another step away from him and looked down the hall towards the ruined office. Anger flaring at the destruction, I shook my head. “You don’t know what I went through to get this clinic running. I can’t just walk away.”
“You’re right, I don’t.” Pain flashed behind his eyes.
“I wasn’t trying to get a dig in, Tom. I didn’t mean—” I regretted my words immediately.
“Shhh,” Tom whispered. He took my hand in his and kissed my palm, sending a ripple through me. “It’s OK, I know what you meant, Ruby. And you’re right about what you said the other night too,” he breathed and leaned closer.
“What I said?” Barely able to think, I stood frozen by his nearness.
“You said that I don’t know you anymore. That I need to get to know you all over again.” He smiled, so close now that I could feel his lips move
“I’m pretty sure that’s not what I said,” I breathed.
Tom’s hand slipped to my face, cupping my cheek in his palm. He ran his thumb over my bottom lip and it sent heat thrumming. I gripped his sleeves, my fingers digging into the material. A wayward warning flittered somewhere in the back of my brain, but I closed my eyes instead of moving.
Tom brushed his lips against mine, barely touching, his breath soft.
“This place is a wreck!” Up front, Lilah shouted.
Startled, I pulled away from Tom. “I-I’m back here,” I shouted back. “I’ll be right out.” Lilah either had rotten or impeccable timing. I hadn’t decided which just yet.
Tom groaned and let go of me. He looked up at the outer door with frustration. I followed his gaze to Lilah rooting through the debris making enough noise for three people.
“I have to get started if I want to be done by eight.” Trying not to show my breath was ragged, I bent and picked up a broken mug off the floor.
“You’re gonna break his heart.” Tom flashed a crooked grin.
“You don’t know that.” I put my hands on my hips, indignation growing in my gut.
“He’s not your type.” Tom leaned against the door jam.
“And you are?” I scowled.
“If memory serves.”
Anger at his teasing and my own weakness flooded my face with heat. “That was a long time ago, Tom. If my memory serves, we didn’t turn out so well.”
Sorrow momentarily flitted across perfect features, but he recovered and smiled winningly. “A lot has changed since then, Ruby. You’ll see.”
“I don’t know if it matters anymore, Tom.” I put a hand to my hot cheek and shrugged.
“Don’t write us off completely just yet, Ruby.” He looked at me with sad eyes.
I shot him a look of shock. Poking myself in the chest, I shouted. “Me…you’re telling me, not to write us off…you-you’re the one who left!”
“I can see that was the wrong choice of words.” Throwing his hands up in surrender, Tom backed up.
I pointed to the back door with a shaking finger. “Go.”
“Ruby—”
I grabbed a nearby magazine and hurled it in his direction.
Ducking it easily, he smirked. “You still have great aim, I see.”
“Tom, I’m serious.” His amusement sent ripples of irritation through me. “Go.”
“And you don’t want my help?” He smiled again, clearly not intimidated by my reaction.
“I need you to leave right now, Tom. I just can’t think with you in the room.” I rubbed tears from my eyes with the palms of both hands.
His smile faltered. “I’m sorry.” He took another step away from me. “I’ll leave.”
“That’s probably best,” I whispered. I bit my lip, upset. I craved Tom. Like an essential component, my body ached for him.
“I’ll see you soon.” Pain darkened his green eyes, but he smiled at me gently.
“Bye, Tom.” I said softly. I refused to feel bad. I couldn’t get a taste for him again. Too much rode on my shoulders to abandon reason.
“Ruby!” Lilah yelled again. “Ruby!”
Reluctantly, I turned from Tom and walked down the hall to the front lobby. “It looks worse than it is, Lilah.”
“What are you talking about? This place is jacked-up!”
She spun slowly around with arms out. I heard the rear door swing shut and turned to look for Tom. My heart sank. He was gone.
9
Dresden Heights Detention Center
Twelve Years Ago
I reached out into the darkness for the ladder. Climbing awkwardly in too-big sneakers, the top of my head bumped against the roof hatch. I pushed up with a grunt. It lifted and banged back on the gravel. I crawled out onto the roof. I could see his silhouette against the brick ledge. The flashlight beams slashed across the dark field below us.
“They’ve got the guards out looking for you.”
Tom reached out a hand, and I grabbed it and sat down. I looked up at the full moon staring down like a naked, bulging eye.
“You ever notice how people never look up, not even in horror movi
es?” He murmured, his voice thick, sad.
I recognized the tortured tone and knew he’d been to see Dr. Wells, the school psychologist. Everyone at Dresden Heights had to meet with him once a month. I noticed a big change in Tom after his sessions. Worry rippled through me. I didn’t like Tom’s dark moods. They scared me; he scared me when he got lost in them.
“What happened?” I asked.
Tom shrugged next to me in the dark. “He thinks I can talk away the beatings.”
My throat tightened. An angry drunk, Tom’s cigarette burns, scars, and healed bones told of the unspeakable damage his father had done. I didn’t understand why Dr. Wells made Tom revisit the terrible memories. I felt for Tom’s hands and found them balled into fists at his sides. I wormed my fingers into his, and he let me.
“I’m sorry, Tom. I’m sorry your father hurt you so badly.”
He tensed next to me, and I fought the helplessness growing inside. We sat silently for a while, and then he spoke—his voice barely audible.
“How do you do it, Ruby? How do you stay so hopeful? You really think God cares about kids like us, in a place like this?”
I nodded in the dark. “Sheila used to tell me that sometimes you have to trust in God despite what things look like at the moment. I just think we’re in that moment, Tom. You have to have faith.”
He ran his finger along the thin scar on my right temple. I put my hand over his.
“I’m trying, Ruby.” He leaned forward to kiss my temple. “I just don’t understand how people can be so cruel. How can they just throw kids away like…trash?” His voice cracked.
“We’re not trash, Tom,” I whispered, heart aching. I looked at Tom, desperate to make things better, but not knowing how. The moonlight made him appear more pale, more lost. “Sheila used to call me her buried treasure. She’d say she was blessed to find me, and you know what…I believe she meant it.”
Tom looked at me through wet eyes, and I faltered.
“At least I do most days,” I murmured.
Tom nodded silently and used his T-shirt sleeve to wipe at his face.
I wished he had met her. I tugged on the small gold cross that hung at my throat. She gave it to me as a gift for my first birthday with her.
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