She began to shake. He noticed and put his arms around her, pulling her to him once more.
“I can’t love you, Bella,” he whispered in her ear, his soft breath against her ear sending chills through her body. “I can’t. You are taken by another man, a good man. A man with title, wealth, and connections. I can give you nothing. I can offer you nothing.”
Bella felt tears stinging the back of her eyes. “I can’t love you, Joshua,” she murmured. “I can’t love you.” However, she did. Moreover, she knew it.
“Bella, look at me.”
She did as she was told, though when she met his eyes with hers, all she wanted to do was kiss him again. She leaned forward but he shook his head and pulled back. The motion sent sorrow through Bella. She was close to weeping.
“Bella, I think it is best that we stay away from each other. You must not come down and see me in the mornings. You must not seek me out. We can only be friends and only at a distance. You are taken by a good man. I have a woman who seeks my love and deserves my love.”
Bella felt anger slice through her at the thought of Elena. Guilt and shame quickly followed it. “But, Joshua…”
He cut her off, not allowing her to finish her rebuttal. “No, my darling. We are not meant to be. It matters not how our hearts feel. The only thing that matters is that we do what’s right. And what is between us is not right.”
“It is right.” Bella insisted.
Joshua shook his head, his own heart breaking. “No, Bella.”
“We can make it work. I’ll tell Jonathan that I can’t marry him. You tell Elena that she cannot have your heart. We can make it work.”
“No, my dear. We can’t. Our lives are going in different directions. I will seek employment somewhere else if I need to. If you plan to stay at Bellhouse with your husband, I will go somewhere else. If you stay in London, I will stay at Bellhouse. I have been there for so long now. I… I do not really want to leave. I love your family.”
“He is not my husband,” Bella said. “And I do not want you to leave.”
“You must promise me that you will not tell Jonathan you refuse to marry him. You must do what is right. Promise me.”
“Joshua…”
“Promise me, Bella.”
She stuck out her bottom lip, pouting. Joshua’s heart pounded, taking in her beauty.
Finally, she murmured, “All right. I promise.”
CHAPTER TWELVE
JONATHAN LEAVES FOR LONDON
JONATHAN LEAVES FOR LONDON
Bella had only been lying on the settee in the drawing room for a half hour when she heard horse’s hooves galloping up to the house. She pulled herself up but found she was too weak to sit up. Patricia had brought her some broth and a cup of hot tea. She consumed both but still felt no better. The short nap she had taken was filled with frightful dreams she couldn’t remember when she woke up.
“Andrew!” She tried to call out loudly, but her voice didn’t rise up very high. The butler must have been passing or just outside the door because it opened and he stepped into the room.
“Miss Bella. Are you all right?”
“Who is here, Andrew? Who is that out there?”
“I will go and find out, Miss.”
She saw the look of deep concern on his face and wondered how she must look to make the old butler react in such a way. He almost looked afraid. He disappeared through the doorway and was back within just a few moments.
“It is your family, Miss. They look as though they are in a great hurry.”
“They are probably afraid for me.”
“Yes, Miss.” Andrew nodded. He left the room again to open the door for the family.
Moments later, Bella could hear quick footsteps crossing through the foyer. Voices were talking quickly. She recognized the sound of her father’s voice, giving firm, fast orders to Andrew. Her brothers flooded into the room, followed by Jonathan and James Ellingham. Each one stopped short for just a moment before coming to her side. Tyler squatted next to the settee.
“Tyler. Why do you look like that?” Bella asked. Her older brother’s eyes were filled with concern. It looked as though he might cry.
“Bella, sweet sister. How are you feeling?”
“I’m all right, Ty. Really.”
He shook his head and turned to call over his shoulder, “Patricia! Andrew!”
“Andrew has been given orders by your father, Tyler.” Jonathan answered, stepping closer to them. “As you know, I must leave for London immediately.”
Tyler nodded. “Patricia! Where is that girl?”
“I’ll fetch her.” Cameron moved quickly to the door to the kitchen, pulled it open and disappeared down the steps, calling for the young maid.
Tyler turned back to Bella. “You are very sick, Bella. You must rest. I will call the physician. Nick, carry her to her room. Jonathan, I will help you gather your things.”
Jonathan shook his head, coming over to sit on the edge of the settee. He put his hand on Bella’s forehead and grunted in disappointment. He shook his head again, lifted one of Bella’s small hands and pressed it against his lips.
“What is going on, Jonathan? Why are you leaving?”
“I must leave, my dear. My cousin, Lord Sean Duffy, has disappeared. We fear for his life. I must go in search of him. It is imperative that he is found.” Jonathan spoke quickly. His words muddied together in Bella’s mind and all she caught was that he was leaving to search for someone.
She tried to sit up again but was unable to. Jonathan soothed her. “Nick is going to carry you to your room, Bella. You are very ill. You must rest. I was going to have you come with me but I see now that it would be impossible.”
“I… I want to come with you.” Bella said breathlessly, again trying to sit up.
“Stop, my dear. You cannot. You must take care of yourself so that we can be married.”
Tears streaked down Bella’s cheeks, pooling in her ears. Jonathan whipped the handkerchief from his front pocket and dried her tears. “Do not cry, my love. I will return as soon as I can.”
“I don’t want you to go.” In her fevered mind, Bella knew that if he left her here, she would seek comfort from Joshua, something neither of them desired but yet did at the same time. “Please stay.”
Jonathan gazed at her with love in his eyes. He lowered to give her a soft kiss on the cheek and whispered, “I must go, my sweet girl. But I will return as soon as I can. I will send messages and your brothers will keep me informed of your health while I am gone. I love you, dear girl. I do love you.”
“I love you, Jonathan. Please… please…” She wanted to ask him to take her with him. She needed to get away from Bellhouse.
A moment later, a chilled breeze passed over Bella when Jonathan lifted up and away from her. She shivered.
“Nick!” Tyler called out in alarm. “Take her to her room. I am going to fetch the doctor!”
Bella closed her eyes, feeling the strength of her eldest brother’s arms as he lifted her easily into the air. He murmured comforting words to her as he took the steps up to her room two at a time. Her mind was in a fog but she could feel his love for her in every word.
He kicked open her door after turning the knob with one hand and moved quickly through the room. He laid her down gently, moving the covers on one side, lifting her to that side and then covering her with the sheet and quilt. He sat on the side of the bed and ran his hand through her wet hair.
“Bella, you must get well, my dear. You must rest and wait for the doctor. We cannot lose you. You are our only sister. What would we do without you?”
“Nick…” Bella whispered. “Will you do something for me?”
“Yes, sister, anything you ask.”
“Please get Joshua for me. I need to see him.”
Nick raised his eyebrows. “The gardener?”
“Yes. Please. I must see him.” The tears streaked from her eyes once more and Nick shushed her.
“I will get him, Bella. Don’t cry. I will get him.” He reached to the table beside her bed and opened the top drawer. From it, he pulled a soft cloth. He stood up and took the cloth to the wash basin, quickly pouring some water in the bowl. He dropped the cloth in the bowl, twirled it to let it soak through and then lifted it out, squeezing the water from it.
He was back by her side within moments, dabbing the cloth on her face, wiping her tears and the sweat from her brow. “Rest, Bella. I will go get him shortly.”
“Please, Nick… please…”
“I will get him, Bella.” Her brother gave up trying to comfort her. He folded the cloth and laid it on her forehead. “Leave this cloth here, my girl. I will go get him.”
Bella closed her eyes.
She woke in a haze a short time later and cracked her eyes open slightly. The room was filled with people. Dr. Bradford was hovering over her, asking her if she was conscious. She tried to respond but couldn’t. She heard him telling her brothers, mother, and father that she was very sick and would need to be as isolated as possible until the sickness passed, if it did. He wanted to do several procedures on her but her mother refused to let him.
“I know a woman who works with herbal medicines. I will seek her assistance before I let you do any procedures on my daughter that could risk her life.”
“It doesn’t matter what you do, your grace,” Bella heard the doctor’s words filter through the pain and fog in her mind. “There will always be risk. If you plan to do that, however, you must do it immediately. She needs immediate care.”
“I will not let you cut into my daughter’s body. I will go now.”
“I will take you, my love,” the Duke took her arm and Bella heard their voices no longer.
“You boys must stay with her,” said the doctor. “Someone must stay with her. She will be in and out of consciousness all night. It is imperative that she continues breathing. If she stops breathing, someone must be here to restart her breathing.”
“How do we know how to do that?” Bella heard Nick’s pained voice.
“Put this potion in front of her nose. It should revive her.”
“But that would require her breathing in, wouldn’t it?” Bella recognized Cameron’s voice.
“Her breathing will most likely be shallow. The fumes from the potion should open her lungs. If she does not breathe it in, drip some in her mouth. It is akin to the medicines your mother would rather use than the modern methods we have for treating illness.”
Bella drifted out of consciousness for a bit. When she came to, she no longer heard voices and could not feel the presence of the doctor near her. She tried to open her eyes but could only slightly crack them as she had done before. She saw no one near her.
Her breathing became ragged as fear gripped her. A second later, she felt the bed move below her as someone sat next to her. She felt fingers on her cheeks and forehead and tried to see who it was. Her eyes were filled with tears. She wanted to call out, to say something but the words were caught in her throat. She continued to cry.
Someone was telling her it would be all right. Someone was whispering in her ear. She couldn’t make out the words other than they were comforting to her. Her tears abated and her breathing steadied. In her mind, she determined to calm herself down.
As her breathing steadied and her tears dried up, she tried once more to open her eyes and see who had come to comfort her. She breathed a soft sigh when she saw it was Cameron by her side. Behind him were the faint images of her other brothers.
“Bella,” Cameron whispered. “Are you awake? Can you hear me?”
“I… I can hear you.” Her throat was very dry. Her voice came out soft and cracked. Cameron reached to the side and returned in her view with a cup in his hand. He lifted her head from the pillow and helped her take a sip. The cool water dribbled down her throat.
“Drink this,” Cameron whispered. “You will be all right if you drink this. It will cool you off and keep your lungs clear.”
Bella wondered for a moment how her younger brother would know that and why water would do so much for her. Would it make her completely better?
“I… I can’t breathe well. I can’t think straight. What’s wrong with me?”
“You are ill, sister. You will need to rest for a while. Mama has gone for some medicines. Papa went with her. We are not going to leave your side until you are better.”
“Thank you, my brothers,” she whispered.
The dim light from the lit lantern on the table next to her bed let her see her brothers in shadows, other than Cameron, who she could see almost clearly, though her eyes were still barely open and her brain was still muddled. She saw her younger brother look across the bed and then back to her. He leaned in close and whispered in her ear.
“We got him here for you, Bella, and we managed to keep Mama and Papa from hearing you calling out for him. It is good that Jonathan has left.”
Bella’s initial confusion was cleared up when she turned her head slowly to look on the other side of her bed.
Standing there with his own dimly lit lantern was the person she had been calling out to in her delusion.
It was Joshua.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
BELLA IS BEDRIDDEN
BELLA IS BEDRIDDEN
Bella said nothing at first. She could only stare at the vision before her. She moved her eyes slowly to take in her brothers’ faces, worried that they would be angry with her for desiring a man other than the one she was betrothed to.
“I didn’t mean for…”
Cameron put two fingers over her lips, shaking his head. “Don’t be concerned about that right now, Bella. Talk to Joshua. He’s going to help take care of you for a bit. We won’t be able to let Mama and Papa know about this for now. We won’t tell them. You do have a decision to make, but now is not the time. You must get better first. It seems your fever may be breaking and you are coherent now, so hopefully, you will not call out for him when Mama or Papa are around.”
Bella pulled in a deep breath, trying to keep the tears she felt inside from surfacing. The love her brothers had for her was astounding. Before he left, Nick walked to Joshua and put one hand on his shoulder.
“Take care of her for us, Josh.”
Joshua just nodded, giving Nick a grateful look.
As her brothers left the room, Joshua moved to sit on the side of the bed. He set the lantern down on the table before reaching over to brush a strand of hair from Bella’s forehead.
“Sweet Bella,” he murmured. “This was not supposed to happen. It would have been better for you to go with Jonathan on his trip.”
“I know, Joshua. I asked him to take me but…”
Joshua shook his head. “That isn’t possible now. You will need to recover from this.”
“What happened to me? I was fine until yesterday. I thought I was just hungry because I didn’t eat for a long time. But I forgot that I was hungry. I should have eaten. Perhaps that would have kept up my strength.”
Joshua looked doubtful. “This is not from a lack of food, dear. There is something else going on here.”
“I don’t understand what has happened. I was fine until yesterday.”
“Sometimes an illness can strike in mere minutes. You may have caught a virus from it simply floating through the air. I have had plants that have died overnight for no apparent reason. I examine the soil, the roots, everything I can to determine what happened but sometimes I don’t find the cause.”
“So, you think I’m going to die overnight?” Bella knew it wasn’t what he meant so she said it in a teasing voice. He grinned.
“I certainly hope not, dear. Not for a very, very long time.”
Bella smiled at him. “So, I was calling out for you in my fever?”
Joshua nodded. “You were.”
“How embarrassing,” Bella looked away from him, thinking her brothers must have been shocked and dismayed to find out what was going on in her true heart.
“You should not be embarrassed. It may have revealed your feelings, but I feel they would not have been kept long from your brothers.”
“Did anyone else hear?”
“Only me, I believe. There were no other servants in the room and the doctor had left. Your parents have not returned from getting the herbal medicines your mother wants to use. She did not let the doctor do any of the invasive procedures he would otherwise have done.”
“I am impressed by your knowledge of such things.” Bella smiled weakly.
Joshua returned her smile and shrugged. “I overhear things. It is not as much knowledge as it is memory. Would you like something to drink? Your father left some brandy and some whiskey if you want to take a sip. You are very small so best you do not consume too much.”
Bella raised her eyebrows in surprise. “Papa knows I don’t drink spirits.”
“I know. Yes, he does but these are supposed to kill whatever virus it is attacking you. He said it always works for him.”
Bella was hesitant. She had seen the effects of spirits on those around her several times. It was somewhat of a problem for the groomsman, to the point that he had been found passed out in the barn and had to be revived. Her father had almost dismissed him but, with his compassionate heart, gave the man another chance to redeem himself. The groomsman had not repeated the offense and was still working for them, caring for the horses in the stable.
“Well, I suppose a tiny bit will not hurt me.”
Joshua stood up from the bed and circled it to the other side, holding the lantern out in front of him.
“What time is it? It must be very late. You must be tired.”
Joshua looked down at her as he set the lantern on the table on the other side of the bed. “Don’t worry about me, Bella. I will be fine. I can go without sleep if I must. I want to take care of you for now.”
“What do you suppose my brothers think of me now?”
As Joshua poured a small snifter of brandy, he shook his head. “You needn’t worry about your brothers. They love you. They only want you to be happy.”
The Lady’s Dangerous Love Page 8