“Yes, I recall now what I said when we had our talk.” Frustration cracked his voice. “Sweetheart, that was a long time ago. I no more love Laura now than she loves me. She loves Morgan with every breath she takes. I’ve never seen two people more in love, more committed, than they are to each other.” He touched her wrinkled forehead and her cheek. “I don’t love her, Pepper. Please, you’ve got to believe me. I know I screwed up with you. Badly. So much happened so fast. We had a mission to concentrate on.” He pursed his lips, holding her lustrous gaze and seeing some of the pain dissolve from her eyes.
She nodded. “Yes, there was a lot going on,” she conceded.
He raised his hands and followed the curve of her soft, dark hair with them. “I knew we’d come to some impasse between us. I felt it before and especially after the mission. Is that why you left the Coast Guard cutter early? You couldn’t stand being around me because you thought I was in love with Laura?”
Miserably, Pepper nodded. Each caressing touch he bestowed eased a bit more of her pain. She absorbed his gentleness like a desert plant too long without water. How she thirsted for his touch! The feeling was startling, heated. “I know she almost died,” she whispered unsteadily, “and I didn’t blame you for devoting your attention to her. It wasn’t Laura’s fault. I’ve never blamed either of you. Sometimes love happens like that. It’s no one’s fault.”
Making a frustrated sound, Jim pulled Pepper into his arms. At first she stiffened, but then, in increments, he began to feel her surrender. “Sweetheart, from the moment I set eyes on you, I knew you were special. I admit,” Jim said harshly, burying his face against her hair, “that I was a royal bastard at first. Yes, I was upset that Laura had been kidnapped. She’s been my friend for many years, and I like her, but that’s all. I respect Morgan. I sure as hell don’t wish that man any more pain than he’s already suffered at the hands of our government. Yes, I was upset when Laura first fell for him. But I’m not an obsessive person, Pepper.” Jim eased her away from him just enough to place his finger beneath her chin and make her look into his eyes. She had to understand his sincerity on the most basic level.
“When I finally understood that Laura loved Morgan as much as he obviously loved her, I backed off. Maybe I was a bit of a burr under their collective saddle for a while, but after I realized what was going down, I let her go.”
Pepper drank in his dark, intense gaze. He was so close. So wonderfully close. She could feel the hard beat of his heart against her breast. His arms were strong, supporting, and for the first time in a long time, she allowed her full weight to lean against him. His gaze was probing, and she felt his frustration.
“Laura is like a ghost from your past,” she whispered.
“Yes,” Jim rasped, “and I’ve been battling your ghost, too.”
Pepper frowned. “What are you talking about?”
“Captain John Freedman,” he said, scowling. “I’ve watched your face change every time you talk about him, Pepper. I saw your eyes fill with tears, heard your voice go soft. What else could I think? Hell, it took every ounce of courage I possess to get up the gumption to fly out here and face you. I felt Freedman still had a claim on your heart.”
“He doesn’t…not any longer. I—I thought Laura claimed yours,” Pepper admitted, embarrassed.
“No more,” Jim whispered, touching her cheek. “There’s a beautiful, strong, confident woman I’m holding in my arms this very moment. She’s the one who holds my heart in her hands.”
Pepper reached up, her fingers sliding along the strong line of his jaw. “John is gone,” she whispered unsteadily. “And yes, I mourned for him.” She squeezed her eyes shut against the pain. “I knew that because I was so different—because I refused to be anyone but myself—I would scare most men away, Jim.” She allowed her hand to rest on his freshly shaved cheek and opened her eyes. “John was the only man who loved me just the way I was. He loved my confidence, the job I did in the army, my talents and skills. He loved me. He didn’t try to pigeonhole me into what women are supposed to do by society’s standards. He didn’t care. He loved me for walking my own path in life, and I loved him for allowing me to be myself. There just aren’t that many men out there who are confident enough in their own masculinity to let women be all they can be.”
Jim smiled tenderly and brushed her tears away with his fingertips. “I understand,” he whispered. “You’re a new breed of woman, Pepper. You’ve been lucky enough to have parents who supported you regardless of gender, and you’ve been lucky to be born at a time in history where women are grudgingly being allowed to develop fully. That’s one of the things that drew me to Laura. She’s a lot like you, you know.”
Pepper gave him a confused look. “I don’t see much similarity between us.”
He smiled a little and caressed her damp cheek. “That’s because you don’t really know Laura. She’s held down a man’s job in the defense industry for years. She’s a noted specialist on defense issues. And like you, she never abandoned her femininity to become ‘one of the boys.’ Beyond that, Laura is opinionated, stubborn and knows what she knows—just like you.”
“I don’t think I’m opinionated or stubborn. If I were a man, you’d say I know my own mind and know what I stand for.”
Jim grinned a little, feeling some of the tension drain from her, even as it drained away from him. He saw a spark of defiance flare in her eyes along with desire—for him he hoped. “You’re right,” he amended. “You see, I’m still learning to give ground gracefully to women in general. I’m not as liberated or ahead of my time as John was.” He held her gaze. “I wish I were, Pepper. But I’m beginning to understand what kind of raw, continual courage it takes to stay strong within yourself. Laura was the first woman to make me aware of that. Now you. I’ve been watching her gather up the shattered pieces of herself, not knowing whether she’ll ever see her son or husband again, and she’s fighting to heal herself despite that ongoing trauma. She has guts.” Jim leaned down, his mouth barely brushing her tear-stained lips. “Like you,” he whispered against them.
Pepper moaned as Jim’s strong lips brushed hers. Without thinking, she found her arms sliding around his broad shoulders, feeling the latent power of his muscles beneath his jacket, discovering the power of his mouth as he pinned her against him. He eased her down on the blanket, the sun warm upon them, and a heated bolt of lightning seemed to plunge through her as his mouth moved confidently across hers, igniting a fire of such burning need that it turned her knees to jelly. His mouth was at once ravishing and tender, and she felt his ragged breath chase across her cheek as he deepened his kiss, taking her completely.
Pepper was lost to everything except Jim and his mouth covering hers. Their hearts clamored in unison, their bodies stretching and reaching toward each other, crying for closeness. As Pepper surrendered against Jim, her breasts pressing into his chest and the points of their hips grinding together as their thighs fused, she moaned in pure joy. The joy of celebration. Jim didn’t love Laura! He was here to see her and only her. Her arms tightened around his neck, and she felt him tremble with barely contained need.
“Love me….” she whispered, dragging her mouth from his. Breathing unevenly, she unzipped his jacket. The day was perfect, the sky a dark, clear blue, and the world seemed to be holding its breath. She felt Jim open her jacket and ease it off her. The jackets became pillows as they stretched out on the blanket. Pepper’s emotions were alive, illuminating her as if some golden light had been switched on within her very soul. She turned and, with shaking fingers, began to unbutton Jim’s shirt. He smiled down at her. It was a very male smile, filled with incredible tenderness as he in turn, slowly unbuttoned her blouse.
Both articles fell to one side, and Jim’s fingers lingered against Pepper’s warm satiny skin, tracing the outline of her collarbones. She didn’t have an ounce of fat on her, just solid, firm muscle shouting of a woman who was strong on so many levels that his heart nearly burst w
ith need. She was his equal in every way, and he savored the discovery as he unbuttoned her slacks. Kneeling over her, he allowed his hands to slide down the length of her firm, long thighs and calves. Helping Pepper out of the slacks, he slowly stood.
The smile on her mouth was dessert in itself for him, as was her look of devilry combined with desire. He admired her boldness and relaxed as she got to her knees, reached up and unbuttoned his Levi’s. Her hands were warm and followed the lines of his hardened thighs as she slowly, tortuously, slid his jeans downward. Jim sucked in a deep breath as her hands lingered against the bulging hardness displayed beneath the denim. She caressed him, then pulled the Levi’s lower. Jim tunneled his fingers through her hair, gently gripping it for a moment as she returned to caress him again. Heat burned through him, and he nearly lifted her off her feet after he was rid of his clothes. The chill of the air was sharp, contrasting to the heat of Pepper’s hands on his skin.
The look in her eyes set him on fire. He knelt down, capturing her mouth, ravishing her soft lips, pressing her hard against him as his fingers sought and found the hooks of her bra and released them. The silky fabric fell away, and Jim broke the kiss, breathing hard. Pepper was so perfect, her breasts small, proud and begging to be seduced—by him.
He felt her hands slide beneath his white T-shirt and slowly push the cotton fabric upward. He surrendered, allowing her to undress him. A look of pleasure entered her eyes as she ran her artistic fingers through the dark hair of his chest. Every touch was like a feathery brand. Groaning, Jim pulled her against him, feeling the soft brush of her breasts. As he slid his hands along her supple spine, he was again aware of how firm and muscular she was.
Laying her back on the blanket, he moved his hands down over her hips. Her belly was softly rounded, ripe for carrying babies, he thought hazily as he teased her silky panties away from her long, coltish legs. She lay before him naked, vulnerable. As he joined her on the blanket, he drew her into his arms.
Pepper inhaled sharply as Jim’s hand moved provocatively up her rib cage, caressing, exploring. The hair of his chest teased her nipples, and they hardened. She waited in near frustration as his fingers moved slowly around her breast, shaping it, savoring the feel of her. He leaned down, his mouth capturing the hardened peak, and the warmth and moistness sent a shattering heat streaking through her. In that moment, her world revolved around his strong touch, the power of his body and the trembling control he barely held over it.
She arched against him, begging him to enter her. His smile was primal, as before, but the look in his burning eyes said not yet. She wasn’t helpless. He could clearly see that she longed to please him as much as he was pleasing her. Reaching down, sliding her hands along his narrow flanks, she caressed him. A groan ripped from him, and he stiffened against her. She smiled at him this time, and he met her mouth with a growing intensity. Their breath mingled, and she welcomed his weight as he settled above her.
Pepper wasn’t disappointed. Jim thrust hard and deep into her, and her wet heat met his plunge as he buried himself in her. A moan of pleasure rippled from her throat, and she threw her head back, feeling his arm slide beneath her neck, bringing her more tightly against him. The rhythm was wild, unfettered. Devouring. She matched him thrust for thrust, moving with him, engaging his powerful movements with her own totally feminine response. Their bodies grew hot and slick, the friction burning them up, consuming them as their mouths clung to each other with frenzied abandon.
Pepper’s world shifted, then tilted as he slid his hand beneath her hips, bringing her into irrevocable union with him. Her cry of release was caught and drowned in his mouth as she surrendered herself to him. Seconds later, he stiffened against her, nearly crushing her, squeezing her breath from her as he held her to his trembling, damp body. Moments—golden, heated—spun by, entwining them as tightly as her arms were locked around his narrow waist.
Wordlessly, Jim loosened his grip on her and framed her face, now damp and flushed, as he once again claimed her soft, well-kissed mouth. Her sweetness flowed through him. Tenderly easing his mouth from hers, he brought her down on the blanket. When her fearless blue eyes met his, he smiled gently, still feeling her heat, her tightness—not wanting to give up this sense of oneness he’d never before experienced.
“I dreamed of you every night,” Jim whispered, nuzzling her cheek, trailing a series of small kisses downward until he found her warm, beckoning mouth. “Like this. Like now,” he uttered, his voice rough with emotion.
Pepper moved sinuously against him, absorbing Jim, reveling in his strength and incredible tenderness. Closing her eyes, she was content to lie against him, their legs tangled, their arms around each other. Fire and ice. The glittering snow surrounded them in its cold beauty while the heat of their recent lovemaking kept them warm. Slowly, ever so slowly, their ragged breathing calmed, as did their heartbeats. Pepper was amazed by their union, which had flown far beyond the physical. Jim filled her with his strength and masculinity in a way she’d never encountered in her life. It was as if she were embracing the sun itself, piercing and brilliant with life.
As he caressed her hair, gently stroking her, Pepper surrendered to him by resting her cheek against his rock-hard chest. The black mat of hair tickled her nose, and she smiled softly. Sliding her hand across his powerful muscles, she whispered, “I never knew this existed….”
Jim smiled tenderly, and he leaned over and caressed her smooth, unmarred brow as he repeated, “I dreamed of this. But I never believed it would happen, either, sweetheart,” he admitted. His eyes darkened with haunting memories as he slid his fingers across the warm velvet of her flushed cheek. Her lashes fluttered open to reveal drowsy, fulfilled blue eyes. His smile deepened. “I want to cherish you, Mary Susan Sinclair.”
The words, spoken huskily and with such hope, roused Pepper from the golden cocoon she was lying in. Lifting her chin, she drowned in his stormy gaze, which was alive with something she wanted to call love but didn’t dare. Her lips parted, and she started to say something, but the words jammed in her throat. His eyes, so steady and intense, held hers, waiting for her answer.
Her heartbeat thumped in response to the magnitude of his statement. What was Jim saying? Did he want to spend the rest of his life with her? Was she imagining this? Had love, an emotion she’d denied herself for so long, made her hear things that hadn’t really been said? His smile grew tender, and he moved within her, underscoring how much she wanted him all over again.
He had captured her wrists above the tangle of her curls, his fingers heated against her cool skin. With each slow thrust, she moaned, and the heat fanned out deeply within her.
Words were useless, and Pepper cried out with pleasure as Jim leaned down, capturing her hardening nipple. Arching against him, drawing him deeply into her, she felt his fingers in her hair, pulling her against him until her cheek rested against his damp shoulder. Did she want to spend the rest of her life with him? Yes, a thousand times, yes! Pepper lifted her chin, seeking Jim’s mouth, striving to meet and match his power. She wasn’t disappointed because in a heartbeat his mouth was plundering her, ravaging her, teasing her, testing her and taking her where she’d never been before.
Each touch trailed liquid fire down her body. Each motion was powerful, riveting. Pepper met his narrowed gaze, recognizing the look of a hunter. She was his quarry—but at the same time she was a hunter, too. Every plane of his body was hard as steel, trembling with bare control as he surged into her, making her his all over again.
Exhaustion lapped at Pepper as they fell into each other’s embrace. The minutes fled by, and she was content to remain in his arms. Finally she felt Jim sit up and gather the warm, thick jackets over them. Snuggling against his damp body, she burrowed her face against his neck, her arms around him. Pepper felt his arms tighten, felt his mouth upon her cheek, his warm breath reassuring. Winter’s chill would drive them indoors soon enough. But now Pepper would be content simply to go home and
spend time with Jim, alone and uninterrupted.
Jim quietly entered the bedroom, a cup of hot tea in hand. It was nearly two in the afternoon. He and Pepper had happily fallen back into bed once they’d returned to her cabin, and had slept like two innocent children in each other’s arms. He’d awakened half an hour ago and made them tea. Pepper’s cabin radiated with wood-fire warmth, and he smiled tenderly as he eased himself down on the bed next to her sleeping form. Without him at her side, she slept on her stomach, one hand beneath her cheek, the other beneath the goose-down pillow. Sometime after he’d got up to go to the kitchen, the colorful down comforter had fallen to one side.
Now Jim lightly touched Pepper’s back, feeling the delicious curve of her spine. He was happy when she didn’t stir. He didn’t want to wake her; he just wanted to spend this time absorbing another new facet of her. Her hair, once sleek, was curled in disarray around her sleeping features. Her lips were parted, shouting of her vulnerability. Her cheeks had their usual flush, emphasizing her beautiful English complexion.
Frowning, he allowed his hand to come to rest on her satiny shoulder. How many loads had she carried on these proud shoulders? Did she want to assume the load of a relationship—with him? When he’d asked her the question, he’d seen surprise in her eyes, followed by another, unknown emotion. Why hadn’t Pepper responded to his question? Perhaps he’d asked too much too soon. By the very fact that she’d loved him twice already, she was showing her courage to reach out and try to love again. He had to be content with that for now. Jim hadn’t even guessed at the magnitude of the wall she had erected after John’s death. If he had known, he wondered if he’d have been willing to take the chances he had so far with her. Sometimes not knowing could prove to be an advantage, he thought wryly. Moving his fingers gently across her shoulder blade, he again realized just what incredible physical shape Pepper was in—as she had to be to do the demanding work of fighting fires.
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