“Lexus, it’s me. It’s Adam. Yes, I’m fine. I need your help. I don’t have time for small talk. Are you still renting out rooms? I’m not stupid; I know what they are for, but unfortunately I could use one! Maybe a week, a month: I’m not sure. Okay, thanks, we’re on our way. I owe you.” What can I say about Lexus? She worked the streets. She was all too familiar with street people and their needs. She made a lot of money catering to the cops and politicians who frequented these hidden alleys in search of forbidden lust and cheap whiskey. She was the liaison or what I like to describe as the broker between good and bad. She earned her money working for the undercover cops and in return provided food and shelter to women and sometimes men in need of money for their survival. Kind of like a modern day Robin Hood, or Mrs. Robin Hood. She was smart. With the money that she made working the streets, she was able to buy a small run-down boarding house and make it into a place of pleasure or a brothel to be more precise. Lexus, although, liked to call it a hotel; it made her feel much more professional. I met her years ago while working on a case. I was defending a high profile justice minister accused of banging a prostitute. His wife was not too pleased and hired me so I tracked them down to Lexus’ and she was granted a divorce with full custody of their children.
“Gritty, don’t ask questions. Just follow me.” He did not say anything and as we entered the building he was content to let me lead. You had to punch a code that I was all too familiar with. Lexus greeted me with concern. Her look said everything. She was a beautiful woman, if you liked a mixture of class with trash. I happened to love it! Refinement with a touch of dazzle. Her smile was the first thing that one noticed. It was welcoming and endearing to all that came within close proximity to her. Her kindness and understanding of the human condition made everyone want to be with her.
She was not a petite lady by any means but she moved her ample girth with the poise of a ballerina. Femininity consumed her. Her plentiful bosom portrayed a motherly look and men blaming their own mothers for their inept insecurities could find comfort in the depth of her welcoming embrace. If ever there was a mother earth; it was Lexus. Her hair was bright red, typical one may assume of a Madame. The scent of her perfume saturated the air lingering for hours after she left. She was well into her 60s but age never played a factor in her overall sexuality and zest for life. Age meant nothing.
I used to fantasize about being straight… I knew that Lexus would have been the type of woman that I would have been attracted to. Many times we’d sit for hours well into the night, vodka in hand, trying to solve the mysteries of this wonderful planet. She was one of the smartest women I knew. I valued our friendship, and I realized that an explanation of this closeness would only be in defense of it and I saw no need. It was what it was. She was there for me and that is all that mattered. For some reason I had never told Richard about her. He would only find fault and Lexus was not up for debate. I know that married couples share things but I did not want to share her. Lexus belonged to me, me alone. I loved Richard with all my heart but I also loved Lexus. It was not in the normal way a man loves a woman but nevertheless, it was love. I have tried on many occasions to rationalize my feelings for her but gave up and accepted it. She was my special place to fall when I needed to talk and have someone listen. She was my one and only comfort, the only person who truly got and understood me. I would leave it up to a greater power to figure out our destiny.
An alarmed look came over her face as she locked eyes with Gritty but without any need for explanation; she had a room ready for us. “I will send up some fresh clothing and a warm bowl of soup. Your friend looks as if he needs one.” She then glanced again in his direction. I looked over at Gritty and he seemed stunned by the situation.
Lexus prepared to leave and for a brief moment our eyes locked in that unconditional understanding. No words needed to be spoken. I could sense a concern about her but she trusted me enough not to question. “If there is anything else that I can get you, please let me know,” she said preparing her exit.
“Wait Lexus. I need to talk with you.” I turned to Gritty and told him I would be back in a moment and then went into the hall.
She started talking before I had a chance. “Adam, it’s not any of my business about the whys and wherefores of your day. Just be careful. Remember what happened the last time you took in a stray.”
“Lexus, he is a bum I found on the street. I feel sorry for him. I couldn’t leave him there. He approached me. What was I to do? It’s cold out there! Have you met him before?”
She looked at me knowingly and continued. “I hope that is all it is. Will you tell Richard about this one? And yes, I have seen him in the district, hanging around my building.”
“Lexus, it is nothing like what happened before.”
“Did you ever tell Richard the real reason for you moving to Prince Edward Island?”
“No.”
“And then the reason for your return?” she asked.
“No,” I answered sheepishly.
“Adam, I promise your secret is safe with me. I want you to know that he came around the other week looking for you. I told him you were not in Montreal anymore. It seemed to satisfy his curiosity, but you never know. He might explode and we will all be in deep shit.”
“You saw him? What did he look like? Did he seem healthy?”
“He seemed fine. I think that he will have more to lose than you if it ever gets out. Try not to worry. I will keep my eyes and ears open for you. Like I said, he has more at stake than you. Always remember who his father is?”
Lexus kissed me goodbye as Peter brought the refreshments to the room. I opened the door and Gritty was like a new man. What was once paled white skin from the cold had a rosy colour coming back to its surface. When he finished eating, I helped him clean up, put fresh clothes on and tucked him in for the night.
I did not know what tomorrow would bring. I told Richard I was working late and it was not unusual for me to do so. I found myself lying more and more to him. The one secret he would never know is why I really left Montreal for the Maritimes.
Only Lexus and I shared that. It was definitely a combination of mafia exploits but anyone who really knew me, knew it would take more than that to scare me off. Richard had a lot to learn about me and I loved him with all my heart but I would not share this. I started to question my relationship with Richard. We were married and supposed to share everything. It bothered me, my lack of disclosure to my husband. By not saying anything about Lexus was really the same thing as lying to him. I started to be concerned about my commitment. Perhaps getting married was not for me. I did not want to lose Richard and felt the need to own him. But marriage is not about possession; it is a bonding of two souls totally committed to one another. I started to question my dedication and my pledge to Richard. I felt like a liar by fault of omission. I felt unworthy of him.
Lexus always covered for me. I started to think back over my day. I couldn’t help but notice the way that she had looked at Gritty. It was more than a casual hello. Something was up! Did he remind her of someone? Perhaps she was tired; I’d never seen that look in her eyes before. It is very possible that she was completely worried about me and the secret we shared.
Time would tell.
Chapter Three
I returned home to find Richard had prepared the most delectable dinner. Although late, it was the only time that we had for ourselves. I felt guilty. I told him about a case I was working on… not at all related to what actually happened that day. Why the need to lie to him! I couldn’t explain the reasoning behind it. All I knew was that he would never completely understand me putting up a homeless man. He also knew nothing about my relationship with Lexus and I wanted to keep it that way. I kept questioning my dedication to our marriage. We were supposed to share everything with our spouses … and I was doing anything but. I was very much in love with Richard but was starting to
realize true love should have no secrets. I had been alone a long time, fighting for my place on this planet and even though a small place, I found it difficult to share.
“You seem vague tonight. Is there anything that you want to discuss? Is your case load wearing you down? Or perhaps it is something else bothering you. I have free time on my hands and I can help you if you want. Adam all you have to do is ask.”
“That’s sweet of you; I am still looking for office space. The downtown core is really expensive. I’ve seen a few properties but in order to afford them, I would have to do extensive renovations. It’s really difficult. I want to open up another office within the next couple of months. That’s all! There is really nothing for you to worry about.”
“Adam, I am great at decorating and it would give me something to do. Let me help you. Until I find a job, a better position than what the Sunlight has to offer, I can search the classifieds and come up with a great alternative to what you have here. Please say yes!”
I could see the gleam in his eyes and felt he would definitely be of help. He looked the happiest that he had been in a long time. “Okay, do it! I will give you a copy of my budget and my requirements. Is this taking time away from you finding a job though?”
“Not at all,” replied Richard. “I do most of my searching online, and if an interview should come up, I will work around it. I’ll get on top of this tomorrow.” The rest of the night was spent going over colours and space requirements. Although I appeared to be interested, I let him ramble on. It was the perfect distraction from the real matters at hand. Richard was happy and so was I. I was nodding in reply to his many ideas, but my thoughts and emotions were running rampant. Gritty was monopolizing them.
* * * *
I could not wait to be up and on with my day. I used another excuse for my early departure and Richard did not question me. He was already searching the classifieds, anticipating this new task with the greatest of enthusiasm. We kissed each other and said our goodbyes. The moment the fresh air hit me I felt unrestricted. It was as if my body was cleansed. All the lies and deceitfulness from my previous day seemed like just a thing of the past. I was a liar and I despised how this made me feel. Richard did not deserve being treated in such a faithless way. The moment that I went outside it seemed to justify what was and what was about to happen.
I punched in the code. Looking at my watch I realized that it was not quite 8:00 a.m. yet.
I could smell the fresh scent of coffee. As I approached the kitchen I saw Lexus preparing a tray. She looked even better without makeup. Her bright red hair highlighted the paleness of her skin. She reminded me of a china doll. Her turquoise Japanese kimono accentuated every curve. Her sash was tied tightly around her waist, and because of her ample mid-section, it was forced to pull its way upward just under her bustline. She was barefoot with the most beautifully painted red toenails. With her buxom bust and her thick midriff, she would be obliged to perform a monumental task while bending over to see them, let alone paint her nails. I laughed at the thought.
“Oh, you startled me! What brings you here so early? And what are you snickering about?”
“I wanted to drop in on my way to work. I wanted to see how Gritty is doing?” I did not dare tell her my thoughts on her appearance.
“You seem very happy this morning. Now get that silly smirk off your face and take this tray up to your guest. It will save me the trouble.”
“I thought that they came down to the dining room to eat. Why are you serving him?” I asked.
“I heard him wandering around last night. He was probably finding his bearings. Sitting with other strangers; he might not be up to that yet. I will see how he is today and tomorrow he can join us in the dining room,” she answered, in an overprotective tone. “Oh, and I hate to bring up the subject but who is going to fork over for his accommodations?”
“I am.”
“Okay Adam, cut the crap! Is he a client of yours?”
“Look Lexus, I am good for it. If you want a deposit; just tell me how much.”
“I know you are good for it; stop avoiding my question. If you want me to put him up, you have to come clean with me,” she said, getting more frustrated by the moment. “I know what you have been through this last year. When things seem to go well, you have this uncanny ability to fuck them up. It is like you feel undeserving of a peaceful and loving life. You have Richard. You’ve just returned to Montreal and are starting over again. Get out of this before it is too late. Shit, are you having an affair with that bum? That’s it; isn’t it?” Now there was fire in her eyes. Even if I was having an affair, she was reacting way too much!
I jolted back as if I had been hit with something. “An affair! Lexus, you must be suffering from a minor case of dementia. Why would I have an affair when I am married to Richard?”
She started to laugh so loudly that I thought for sure the others would join us. It echoed throughout the building. Then when she composed herself, she said, “You seem to forget what I do here. I shelter every loser husband and cheater around. Affairs are the reason for this building being in existence. I make my living off of affairs. Do you know who you are talking to?”
“Yes, I guess that was a stupid statement on my part.” Without explanation, I started to laugh with her. She did not continue with her line of questioning but handed me the tray and I went up to see Gritty. Lexus and I would talk later. Now was not the time.
* * * *
I passed Peter along the way. “Hey Pete, what’s up?”
“I wish Lexus had an elevator. My knees are giving out on me. Ever since I broke my leg skiing, it has never been the same. Especially in the cold weather.”
“Sorry to hear that. I hope it gets better soon.” He nodded and continued down the stairs. Peter was slow. I guess you could call him mentally challenged. He had been with Lexus as long as I had known her. He had a waif-like appearance, very thin with a small bone structure. He walked with a limp, complaining about a ski accident which I found out to be a figment of his imagination. Lexus said that he had never been on the slopes. It made him feel important to let others assume that he had. As long as I had known Peter, he wore plaid shirts and jeans high with garish suspenders. His plaid shirts came in numerous colours and it soon became his style. He reminded me of Steve Urkel, the drop-in neighbor from the 90’s TV sitcom “Family Matters”. Peter always looked like he had been scrubbed clean with a good bar of soap. His hair was perfectly combed and gelled down holding it in place. What I always noticed was the oversized watch that he wore dangling loosely from his wrist. He would constantly refer to it as it seemed to bestow on him some greater importance than it really was. Lexus said that it had been a gift to him from his father. She did not willingly volunteer information about Peter. She looked after him and when I once asked about where he came from, she abruptly changed the subject. I knew then not to pursue the matter any further.
Did I mention that he had bright red hair? I think that might be the answer in itself. If and when she wanted to tell me, I would let her decide and support her fully.
Unsteadily I balanced the tray as I approached his room. Not wanting to put the tray on the floor, I used my foot as a knocker. There was no response. Finally, I had no choice but to put the tray down. I started to rap loudly and call out his name. Still no answer. I tried the handle and it opened. “Gritty, it is time to get up.” Looking around the room, I realized that he was not there. The bed was made and it appeared as if no one had slept there that night. I frantically assumed that he was in the bathroom at the end of the hall. All the rooms shared a common bathroom. I could see a light under the door and once again knocked.
“Take a number.” The voice was not his.
“Excuse me, but is that you Gritty?” With that the door flung open and a large black man was standing there with shaving cream dripping from his face.
“Do
I look like Gritty to you? Now fuck off and leave me alone.”
I felt he was going to hit me. I could not get the words out because the saliva in my mouth was preventing them from coming forth. I finally managed to speak. “I’m sorry.” And before I knew it the door was being slammed shut in my face. Wow that was a close call!
I made my way back to the kitchen. “He is not there,” I said with a look of concern.
“What do you mean he is not there?” A worried look came over her face.
“Just what I said. I opened his door and the room appeared as if no one had slept there last night.”
“Well, maybe he realized this spot was not for him. Adam, he lives on the streets and sometimes they want to stay there. As hard as it is for you to understand … that is all they know… that is home for them.”
“Okay, but if he should come back, can you give me a call?” With that said I slipped her a one-hundred dollar bill and asked her to hold the room for another night. “Oh, and on a lighter note, would you please tell Mr. T. down the hall, that not everyone wants to challenge him!”
“Adam, you know how I feel about this Gritty situation but sure, I’ll call you if I see him. If he does not return by tomorrow the room is up for grabs. And Mr. T. has a name; it is Stewart. He has been through some really rough times … give the guy a break!”
“Thanks Lexus.” As crazy as it was, I felt betrayed. I had stepped out on a limb for Gritty and now he did not even have the decency to say goodbye. I exited the building by the back for fear of being seen. God forbid that Richard would be walking by or perhaps, someone that knew us. As I was approaching the street I noticed him. Gritty was sitting, back up against the wall, cigarette in hand, looking oblivious to my concerns. The cold weather did not seem to faze him. “Where have you been? Lexus and I thought you had left without saying anything. She prepared breakfast for you.”
Gritty Page 3