by Valia Lind
He attacks. Even for his age, he's an incredibly strong man. Years of conditioning has made him tough and lethal. But I learned from him, you can say I learned from the best.
His punch sends my mind spinning, but I stay on my feet. He gets close enough to grab me by my hair, holding it in place as he punches me in the face once more. My vision is blurry, but I push for stability and lash out. Kicking out, I connect with his stomach, sending him a few steps back. When he comes at me this time, I'm ready for him. I dodge his advance, before placing a solid punch to the back of his kidney. He roars, but I'm already on him.
I punch him in the face, before kicking out his knee. His scream echoes through the yard, but I don't wait for him to fall on his own. I kick him in the face and the next moment he's on the ground, unconscious.
I wait to feel some kind of a remorse towards my father, but I get nothing. He's killed people. He trained me to kill people. He's just lucky I don't use all of my knowledge on him. He’s lucky that I’m a better man than he will ever be.
TASIA
Two men drag me after Katherine and Foster and I bide my time.
There is fighting all around us and I wonder just where do they think they're going. There's no escape. We have them right where we want them.
When we pass another container, the fighting behind us grows distant and I move. Twisting my arm, I let my body move with the motion, pulling the goon on my right to the ground with me. The moment I'm there, I twist my legs up, grabbing him around the neck and squeezing. Someone screams, but I'm not stoping. I push off with my arms, grabbing the other man by his face and driving it into the ground, as we land.
My elbow is right in his face and even though my ears ring with the impact, I stunned him. At least, long enough that I can get to my feet. My knives are in my hands a split second before the men attack. I stab one right in the face. He doesn't expect it and the blade goes straight through his skull. Blood flies everywhere, blinding my vision for a second.
Katherine and Foster watch the man drop to the ground and they're running before it hits. I let my knife fly as the second man attacks. The blade sails over his shoulder and the grin he gives me at my miss makes me want to puke a little. But then Katherine screams, as the knife imbeds itself in her side and the man is no longer smiling.
I come at him, my bloodied knife in my hand, but he's ready. He ducks as I swing, delivering a solid punch to my stomach. I stumble forward, but stay on my feet. Flipping around, I deliver a kick to his face, sending him a few steps back. Then I'm on him, smashing my knee into his groin, before I stab him in the side. He drops to the ground, bleeding all over, but I'm already running.
I follow the trail of blood created by the wound I delivered. I round the corner and come face to face with a barrel of a gun. Foster is grinning that smile I remember seeing the first time we were in a warehouse district together and he had me tied to a chair. I wasn't afraid of his gun then and I'm not afraid of his gun now.
"You didn't think we didn't come prepared, did you?" he sneers at me, as Katherine stands beside him, my knife still sticking out of her leg.
"How could I?" I reply, faking the fear evoked in me by the gun. "I learned a long time ago not to underestimate you."
"You should've stayed with me, Precious," he coos, that blasted nickname on his lips. "You were my greatest creation and just like with any god, you turned against me."
Of course he thinks he's a god. All delusional bastards do, after all. I shake my head, moving away from the opening and towards Foster. He doesn't seem to notice.
"Foster, let's go," Katherine says from behind him, her eyes calculating. She's smarter than he is, but I'm hoping he won't listen.
"No," he snaps, his eyes still on me. "We murdered her family. We need to make it her whole family."
"So just shoot her already and let's go," she replies.
"Why did you do it?" I ask, letting a pleading note enter my tone. I need to keep him talking, but the answers he gives are important to me. "Why did you kill my family?"
"Because they knew too much. You know this."
"I know that my father knew about your experiments on children. He knew you needed me to make the drug work. And you made it work, didn't you?"
"You're a clever girl. Your blood was the answer. But we don't need it anymore. We can incubate the drug in any child now. Your blood may be a universal match, but it works just as well with the specifics."
"And what now?" I ask, keeping my gaze on Foster. I can see Katherine is moving closer to him, but I'm not done. "You create a league of soldiers and take over the world?"
"Don't be stupid, Precious. We sell the drug to the highest bidder and they create an unstoppable army. What we have planned is so much greater. Can you imagine living in a world where every emotion is controlled? There's no anger, no suffering, no disagreements. You've been to our community, you've seen how peaceful their existence is."
"They have no mind of their own!" I shout, unable to control my own emotions. "You take away their emotions, you take away their humanity."
"Who needs humanity anyway?" This time, it's Katherine who snaps at me, clearly fed up with our conversation. "All we get is wars and plummet of the economy and disease and death. We can eliminate all of that with this drug. Just think of the way a world can be."
"I know what kind of a world that would be. A lonely and miserable one." I say, lowering my hands, no longer able to play at the scared little mouse. "I was that person. I had no emotion, but one. I hated what you've done to me and my family. And I hate you even more, after what you've done to Uncle Freddie," I spit out in Katherine's direction. "We need emotion. Because if you take away all the bad, you are also taking away all the good. Happiness. Love. You do remember what love is, don't you?"
"I remember the misery of it all. Power brings happiness. Love makes us weak," There is so much hatred in Katherine's words, it's almost like a tidal wave pushing me back. "I was weak once and I hated it. But then, I got power. I now control what happens in this world and I'm never giving it back. Never."
"Sorry to ruin your plans."
I let my knife fly, and it imbeds itself in Foster's shoulder, but not before he gets off a shot. The pain is instant and excruciating, but I'm here to finish a job and that's exactly what I'm going to do. I come at Katherine first, because she's the closest. Ripping the knife from her leg, I swipe it across the other, drawing more blood. She falls to her knees and I don't hesitate. I'm behind her and my blade is across her throat and her blood gushes out like a waterfall.
She drops to the ground, face first and I know Uncle Freddie watches her death and will probably watch it again, but I'm already turning to Foster. He's on the ground now, holding his shoulder, his gun a few feet away. I kick it farther out of reach, before I kick him in the head. He's dazed and I jump on him, straddling him with my knees. Yanking the blade out of his shoulder, I stab both of my knives into opposite sides of his torso. He screams in pain, struggling to throw me off, but it's no use.
I've always been the stronger one. I just forgot that for a while. I watch as his face grows in terror, already swollen from my kick.
"This is for my parents," I growl, stabbing him in his side again. "This is for my brother." I stab him in the opposite side. "This one is for every person you've ever hurt," I stab him in his other shoulder. "And this one," I say, leaning as close as I can, so that he can see my eyes, one last time. "This one is for me." I swipe my blade across his throat and he starts to gargle for breath but it's too late for him. He's already dead, even as he fights it.
His eyes dim, but I don't move. I stay there, surrounded by bodies, staring at what I've done.
I don't know if my intent was to kill them, but maybe it was. I wanted to ruin them and I will. But now, I have their death to carry with me everywhere I go. What have I done?
Logan finds me like that, holding the knives tightly in my hands, covered in blood. There is so much emotion in his face, I
don’t have the strength to put names to them. I can't distinguish anything. When he picks me up and hugs me close to his body, I finally let go.
I cry harder than I've ever cried in my life. My body shakes with every single emotion I've ever experienced.
I cry for my parents and for my brother.
I cry for Uncle Freddie and the betrayal he feels.
I cry for Calen and for Blake, for the lives that will never be the same.
I cry for Logan and for the kind little boy he was and the strong man he became.
I cry for every single person who's life has been ruined by Kallos.
I cry for me and for the broken girl I was and the broken girl I've become once again.
Killing them has placed a handprint on my soul that I will never be able to wash away. It's a stain that I will have to work hard at keeping from spreading.
Standing there in Logan's arms, I realize that he will be there. He'll help me keep the demons at bay. And only after that, do I finally stop crying.
after
TASIA
Standing on the roof of this building, overlooking Chicago, I marvel at all we've been through. Every battle that we fought, every struggle we've overcome. It's amazing to think that it's over. It's finally over.
The breeze blows over my skin, caressing it with it's cool breath. I close my eyes and think of my parents, of Kyle, and how I think they'd be proud of me. Not of the blood I now have staining my hands, but of all the good that comes from destroying Kallos.
My dad, my dearest papa, sacrificed himself for me, for every child Kallos used for their own twisted purposes and the tear travels down my cheek. I'd like to think that Mom would give me a big hug, while Daddy watches on. Before he too takes me into his arms and hugs me close to his chest. "Good job, Pumpkin."
Kyle, my big brother, my big protector, would just smile and ruffle my hair, a big grin on his face. He never got to grow up, never got to experience all the things a typical boy would, but in my minds eye, I see him as a handsome grown man.
Smart.
Kind.
Strong.
All the things my parents were. All the things I'd like to now have the chance to be.
Finishing this mission, this journey from revenge to retribution, it's like I'm saying goodbye to them all over again. They walked with me all this time, and I felt them there. Fueling my determination. Giving me a reason to keep going.
Now that I have avenged their deaths, it's as if they can finally rest and I feel like a scared little girl once again. I'm watching them through a screen, as they bid farewell and carry on to the next place. And I'm left behind. Alone.
But that's not true anymore.
I used to be alone. I used to feel alone. But I have a different family behind me now. A family, who when they saw my determination, stood by me.
I feel Logan's fingers wrap around mine, as he comes up to stand beside me. He's become my rock, my partner, my dearest friend. It's what I always saw in my parents relationship, but I never thought was possible in real life. I'd like to think Daddy would approve of Logan too.
"You okay?" Logan asks, concern shining in his eyes. I wipe at the tear leaving a trail on my cheek, before nodding.
"Yes. I'm just thinking."
"You know he'll be back. He just needs some time."
Uncle Freddie left as soon as he could, the heaviness of his past weighing on him. But he heard my words, he felt the forgiveness, so I know he'll be back. Calen left as well, needing to spend the time with his sister and help her heal.
"I know," I reply. "It's not that. I was just thinking about my parents and Kyle and what they would've thought of all that we've done."
"I think they would be proud of you. Of the kind of a strong, brilliant young lady you've become."
"A lady?" I laugh, because I can never see myself as something so delicate. But Logan always manages to. He says a word may sound delicate, but a lady is one of the strongest beings on earth and he wouldn't want to mess with one. Ever.
"I will never stop saying that."
"And I will never stop making fun of you for it."
His kiss comes fast, but not unexpected. He wraps his arm around my back, pulling me closer, and it feels like the first time. There's no hesitation, no awkwardness, when we come together it's because we are meant to be. I don't care how melodramatic that may sound. For the first time in my life, I feel and I never want to stop.
He pulls back, leaning his forehead against mine and I know he feels the same. He tells me so in a bunch of pretty words, daily.
"What now?" he asks.
"I don't know. Do you really think we're done?"
"What do you mean?" Logan pulls back a little, to stare into my eyes. I study him back, before turning to the city below us.
"I kind of think that more people can use our help. We have become quite good at it, no?"
"You want to help people?"
"I wasn't planning on any of it, but it just came to me. Maybe this is the best way to honor my parents legacy. We have resources. We have the know-how. Maybe bringing justice to those who deserve it is what we're meant to do."
Logan studies me carefully, his face full of wonder and love. He's been through so much and yet, he never loses his heart.
"Well, there are a lot of people left in the wake of Kallos actions," he beings slowly. While the company may be in panic, trying to scramble some good will together, with Barbara and Foster gone, the board have taken over the reigns. With the public's eye turned directly on them, they are not taking any chances, but trying to turn everything around. The children are being reunited with their parents, the community is being disbanded. Many people are left in waves of withdrawal and it will take a while before everything goes back to normal. Or as normal is it can ever be. "And the general is still out there," Logan continues, "Doing his own thing. It's not like we don't have anything to do."
The smile he gives me lights up his whole being and I hug him tightly. We're no longer working off some kind of a self imposed sentence. We're going to help people, because it's the right thing to do.
"How about we employ some help though?" Logan says, holding me close to him. "We could use some more hands on board."
"I think that's a great idea."
"Does that make us superheroes with secret identities and a cover story then?" He chuckles.
"Well, I don't know about that. But I do think we can do some good."
There are scars that I will have to carry for the rest of my life. The drug has done a number on my system, and I still feel the effects of it every day. I will never be the same, but it doesn’t have to define me. I can overcome the side effect. The nightmares will be more difficult to erase. I don’t know how my body will react to all the experiments years from now, but I know that I still will be seeing myself plunge that knife into Foster’s body. I still will be battling the demons that take root in one’s soul after they have taken a life. Being a soldier, doing what’s right, is never easy. I knew the risks I had to take in order to see it through.
But this doesn’t mean that I can’t turn all the bad into something good. Helping other people, it’s what my father instilled in me from a very young age. I took a few detours along the way, and done some things we wouldn’t have approved of. But doing what’s right, helping those who can’t help themselves, I think it’s the right way to go. With Logan by my side, I think we can make this world just a little bit safer.
I turn to him now, waiting for a response, for a commitment that will change our lives once again. He’ll have to fight his own demons when it comes to what happened. But, as he repeatedly tells me, he wouldn’t change what he did.
When he finally answers, his heart is in his eyes.
"Anything you'd like, Anastasia."
"Good answer, Logan."
<<<<>>>>
acknowledgements
How do I say thank you to each and every person who has supported me through this journey
? When I started out with Tasia and Logan’s journey, I never even imaged a trilogy. But here we are. Characters really do take on a life on their own.
First and foremost, I thank God for giving me the privilege of writing and I pray He continues to do so.
Second, thank you to my amazing parents who are always there to cheer me on and help me stay sane. I cannot image myself getting this far without your outstanding support. You have always encouraged me to follow my dreams and I can say that I have, because of you.
Thank you to all the people who have read, edited, created in order to make this book the best it can be. My fantastic cover designer, Regina Wamba. You never stop amazing me. My awesome critique partner, Amy Giuffrida and all of your input. Rachel R., thank you for making sure my writing isn’t “too Russian” and to my dad, who makes my typos into hilarious anecdotes and always keeps me laughing.
Thank you to my behind-the-scenes cheerleaders: Jordan White, Micalea Smeltzer, Wendy Higgins, Mindee Arnett, Sarah F., Mandy Kay, Amanda H., Grace F., and Heather L. You keep telling me I can do it, and here I am!
Thank you to each and every reader who picks up my book and gives my characters a shot. I thank you for allowing me to do what I love and I hope your day is just a little brighter for reading one of my book. I am excited for the things to come!
See how it all started
Titanium #1
About the Author
Author. Photographer. Artist. Born and raised in St. Petersburg, Russia, Valia Lind has always had a love for the written word. She wrote her first full book on the bathroom floor of her dormitory, while procrastinating to study for her college classes. Upon graduation, she has moved her writing to more respectable places, and have found her voice in Young Adult fiction. You can visit her online at www.valialind.wordpress.com or follow her on twitter, where she spends way too much time, @ValiaLind.