The Pumpkin Man (A dark Halloween novella)

by Luis Samways

  I sat there tensely smiling as silence encroached on me like a heavy weight on my neck. I could feel my nervous tick waking itself up from the pits of my stomach, yawning from its deep sleep, ready to wreak havoc on my life.

  I guess today would be no different. I guess today Bradley Withers would continue to make an ass out of himself.

  “You seem a little stressed,” Mr. London said as he sat forward, resting his elbows on his chrome desk.

  I caught a glimpse of his flashy watch as it glistened on his wrist. I could hear the ticking face echoing within my skull. My cheeks felt like they were flushing red, heat rippling through them like fire spreading across dark, ash-covered coals.

  “I guess I am a bit tense. You have to forgive me, I’m not used to all this. This is actually the first time I’ve ever been to London. It’s so big. Much bigger than Exeter. So, I’m a little frazzled. I didn’t get much sleep last night. I was tossing and turning thinking about the show, and the possibility of me being on it. I’m not what you would consider an outgoing person. So, this is all quite out of character for me.”

  He smiled.

  “You don’t have to worry about anything, Bradley. We will take care of you. This is a big opportunity here. If everything goes right, you could end up launching yourself into a new career! What is it that you do currently?”

  I swallowed hard.

  “I’m a shelf stacker at Tesco. It’s not the most glamorous position, but it pays the bills.”

  He raised an eyebrow and began jotting stuff down on a little black pad directly in front of him. Even his damn pen was shiny. Gold and silver glistened back at me as I watched his wrists flick back-and-forth as he wrote longhand. He looked back up and forced a smile.

  “Shelf stacker… Got it.”

  I nodded my head slowly.

  “Is that going to be a problem?”

  He smiled again. This time it wasn’t forced. This time it was genuine… Like I’d just told the funniest joke of all time.

  “No, it’s not a problem at all. What you do for a living is not relevant. Once we’re done with you, shelf stacking at Tesco will be nothing but a distant memory. You’re going to be on TV, for Christ’s sake! I’ve got big plans for you, Bradley. Big plans!”

  “That sounds great and all, but will there be any guarantees with this?”

  “I like your style! Straight to the point.”

  He stopped jotting stuff down in the pad, and closed it. Looking up at me, his expression shifted.

  “Okay, so let’s get down to it. As I stated in the letter I sent you a couple months ago, this opportunity is going to pay well. You’re more than likely going to walk away with around fifty thousand pounds after this is all said and done. But, that’s not all…”

  He reached into his desk drawer and pulled a file out. He opened the file and twisted it around, sliding it toward me.

  I looked down at it and frowned.

  “What’s this?”

  “Your contract. It’s all outlined. It tells you how much you’re going to be earning, it also tells you about sponsorship opportunities and appearance fees.”

  “Appearance fees?”

  “Yep. Appearance fees. My company KMT predict that All Inclusive will fare well in the ratings. The show has a lot going for it, but the biggest thing it has in its favour is that it’s a new intellectual property. It’s also a new way to do reality TV. You see, a lot of the stuff you see on TV these days is scripted. And even though there will be some scripted elements to the show, i.e., planned activities, a few scripted set pieces and events, the majority of the show will be totally raw and uncut. It’s also going to be live twenty-four-seven.”

  I found myself swallowing hard again.

  “Live? So, there’s going to be no retakes?”

  “Retakes? This is reality TV, Bradley. The whole purpose of it is to capture humans in their purest form. Warts and all.”

  “I’m not going to lie, Mr. London, but the warts and all thing kinda scares me.”

  “It shouldn’t. You’ll be just fine, trust me. This is going to be big. And don’t forget, you’re not going to be the only person on the show. There’s fifteen other blokes to back you up. Not to mention the sixteen women we have to even things out.”

  “Sounds like a lot of people to me. Will I even get screen time?”

  “Look at you Bradley, already thinking like a pro! Of course you’ll get screen time. I won’t go into the particulars of the format of the show, but rest assured that you will all be sectioned off into manageable groups. Each group will have their own film crew following them, documenting their every move. When it comes down to it, all the groups will be vying against each other. So you won’t need to worry about remembering too many names. You’ll never even end up meeting the majority of the people there. Just your core group.”

  “So, we’ll be in teams then?”

  “Exactly. Think of it like the Olympics. There’s many countries involved and thousands of athletes to accommodate. But as a spectator, watching from home, you never see all of the participants at once. They split everyone up according to their disciplines. So, some days, the broadcast team focuses on swimming and running. Other days, they focus on wrestling and jujitsu. The reason they do that is so people don’t get burned out. And the same applies to our show.”

  “I guess that makes sense.”

  “You’re damn right it makes sense!”

  I looked back down at the contract, glancing at all the numbers as they bounced off my retinas and buried themselves deep within my cerebral cortex. One of the blocks of numbers caught my eye.

  “Two thousand, five hundred?” I whispered under my breath.

  Paul begins to laugh.

  “I see you spotted the appearance fees. That number is not a misprint! You’ll all get two and a half grand for every appearance you do during the show and after it. That’s a commanding price. We ascertain that you will all become household names in the next couple months. The focus groups we’ve pitched this show to have all come back with extremely positive feedback. So, the likelihood of you making bank on this is high. Of course, we will also be making quite a large chunk of change ourselves. But that’s not important. What is important is that you know that All Inclusive is going to change your life. I guarantee it.”

  I continued to scan the file, trying to take in all the numbers. My brain felt like it was on fire as I tried to decipher the information on the page.

  “It says here that filming starts in two weeks.”

  Paul nodded his head.

  “Is that going to be a problem?”

  I shrugged my shoulders.

  “I guess not. But six months is a long time. I’m not going to be able to get Tesco to agree to let me have the time off.”

  “Don’t worry about that. It would take you around four years to earn what you’re going to earn on All Inclusive if you stayed at Tesco. We’ve got your back. If you need an advance on your wages, just say so.”

  “Does that mean that I have the job?”

  “I think it’s safe to say that you do, Bradley. We are really excited to work with you on this. We see big things on the horizon. Really big things!”

  I sat there staring at the contract in front of me. Suddenly, a pen appeared near my hand.

  “All I need is your signature and we are all set.”

  “This is happening rather fast. Shouldn’t I get a lawyer to look through this?”

  “Only if you feel you have to do. But I’m not going to lie, Bradley. You’re not the only one in line for this. There’s plenty of people out there that would kill to be on the show. Trust me.”

  I slowly nodded my head, contemplating the various possible outcomes of this. But then a thought hit me. What if I never got an opportunity like this ever again? What if this was my moment to truly shine? Would I be stupid enough to let it slip through my fingers?

  For a long time now I’d felt like I’d had nothing going for me in
my life. Routine had well and truly stagnated my enthusiasm for living. And just a couple months ago, I was contemplating possibly ending it all. But now, now things had changed. Now I had an opportunity to change my life for the better.

  Granted, starring in a reality TV show wasn’t something that I’d ever envisioned myself doing. But then again, neither was slitting my wrists, and as I said before, only recently I was considering it.

  “If you need time to think about it, then feel free to take the contract home and give it the once over. But just bear this in mind, if you take too long, then the offer’s off the table. We’ve only got two weeks of prep before we are off to film. If you take too long, you’ll force me to look elsewhere for your replacement.”

  “I understand. There’s no use waiting around. I’ve got nothing else going on. So, yeah, I guess you can count on me.”

  Paul was now beaming from ear to ear.

  “That’s great news, Bradley! I’m really excited about this.”

  “So am I,” I said, grabbing the pen and signing on the dotted line.

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  Thanks for reading.

  Until next time!