Ceara just nodded, she got up walking to the door and without looking back, “I’m going to start breakfast, just let me know if you get hungry.”
Colt passed Ceara in the hall with Beth’s water, he saw her look and just let her go. He joined Beth in the bedroom, handing her a glass of water. “Ceara looked upset?”
Beth started writing in her journal again, “ah huh…”
“Beth, what happened?”
“She wanted to be in the dark about what is going on. I made her look at it for what it is.”
Colt sat on the bed, “Could you put that down and talk to me?”
Beth glanced up, “You know this important, Colt. I need to write all this down.”
“Why do you have to make sure Ceara understands what is going on, she is just a kid?”
Beth set her pen down, “She is an adult, everyone treats her like a kid and you need to stop… I need to stop. Treating her like she is a child will get her killed or someone with her killed. We have coddled her too much and that needs to stop.”
Colt looked into her eyes for a few seconds then looked down, “I know, but it is nice to keep some of our civilized ways.”
Beth picked her pen up to start writing again, “Civilization is dead until we find a way to fix this. That is why I am writing this, don’t you understand that?”
Colt stood up, “Yeah, I understand that, I’ll let you write. Just call if you need anything.”
Colt went to the kitchen where Ceara, Charlie, and Alden were. Ceara was making bread and frying bacon from a pig the tribe had slaughtered. There were eggs sitting in a basket on the counter from the chickens they had traded for when Running Buffalo and his people first came around.
Colt poured him coffee and joined Alden at the table, “What are the plans for today?”
Alden raised an eyebrow, “You planning on being around?”
Colt set his cup down, “For now, you want to use me or not?”
Alden smiled a sinister smile, “I can find a few ways.”
Colt sat back, “So what is the plan, that hoard is still out there, isn’t it?”
Charlie joined them at the table, “We don’t know, do we, we have been here. We need to ride out and see where they are, how many there are, and if they are still headed this way.”
Ceara began scrambling eggs, “I’ll ride out with you guys this time, I haven’t gone out lately. I need some time out of here today, anyway.”
Alden looked over at her, “We are going to take the truck today, I just want to see where they are and what they are doing. It shouldn’t take long.”
Ceara nodded, “Sounds good, we ought to think of another supply run too. We have a lot of staples from the Walmart trucks but with a herd like that, we need ammo.”
Alden smiled, “Look who is thinking ahead, good girl.”
Ceara smirked, “Whatever…”
Tabitha joined them in the kitchen, stretching as she reached for a coffee cup, “what is she’ whatevering’ about now?”
Ceara laughed, “Good morning to you, too.”
Tabitha looked around the room, “How is Beth doing?”
“She is in the room writing in that journal again. She thinks that today is going to be…” Colt trailed off and just looked at his coffee.
Tabitha nodded, and bit her lip, “Okay, do we know how this is going to happen?” Her tone was hushed, proving it was a topic no one wanted to deal with.
Alden stood and walked to the door leading to the hall, “It’s high time we find out what her plan actually is. I’m not the type to sit in silence.”
Everyone left in the room just stared after him, wondering if they should follow, stay, or just carry on like nothing was going on. Ceara chose for everyone when she set the pan of eggs on the table, “You guys know where everything is, help yourself.”
Just because everyone felt the need to be led, they all began making their plates and sitting down around the table.
Alden knocked gently on the door, then went in to join Beth. She was still writing in her journal; Beth glanced up to Alden then back to the notebook, “Good morning, sunshine.”
Alden smiled as he sat on the side of the bed, “You getting any good information in there?”
“I don’t know how good it is; but I am being as detailed as I can.”
“I’m sure that someone will be able to use all the information, my job is to find that person,” Alden said.
Beth set the notepad to the side, “I’m guessing you are in here to find out what the plan is today; am I right?”
Alden turned to face her better, “Colt told us you think it will be today. I want to know why you think that, and what you think is going to happen when the time comes.”
Beth nodded; “Fair enough…” she held up her bitten hand, “Do you see this? The bite is extremely inflamed and it isn’t just that. Look at the veins, they are all discolored.”
Beth pulled back the collar of her t-shirt, “Look at this Alden, even the veins going to my head and chest are discoloring. I have a very high fever and soon it will be high enough that I will be delirious.”
Alden looked at everything and felt her head, “You are burning up. So I understand the thought that today will be the day, but what plan do you have rolling around that pretty little head of yours?”
Beth sat up a little straighten in the bed, “I don’t know how you feel about this, but I would like the chance to say goodbye to everyone. Not everyone together, but one by one. I don’t think any of us have had the chance to say goodbye when we lost someone. It just happens so fast that we try to say goodbye afterwards and every single one of us have those unspoken things we regret. I promise that I won’t take long. I don’t have long anymore.”
Alden took a deep breath, “I think the others need that more than you do, Beth. You are a lot like me on strength, you do what has to be done, and you are still doing that.” Alden ran his fingers through his hair and sighed, “And after that?” he questioned.
Beth looked out that window, “Well, I’ve been thinking a lot about that. Do you remember that little bit of C4 we got in all that stuff from the sporting goods store?” Alden furrowed his brow but simply nodded, allowing her to continue, “I think that if you rig that up to one of the vehicles, give me the trigger, and just let me drive into the middle of the horde. As long as I can, I will have the radio blaring, horn honking, anything I can do to draw their attention. I let them climb all over the car and when the time is right…. boom.” Beth saw Alden’s look and added, “Alden, you know I won’t feel a thing and it will thin out that herd a lot! It gives you guys a fighting chance!”
Alden stood up to walk to the door, “If this is what you want, I need to check the gas in the vehicles, find that C4 and get it rigged up. So I better get busy.”
As Alden reached for the door knob, Beth patted the bed, “Do you mind if we start the talks with you?”
Alden didn’t look back, nor did he take his hand from the door knob, “Beth, I don’t do goodbyes, you know that.’
Beth sat in silence for a minute, and then tried again, “this is for me, Alden… I need to do this. Please let me say my goodbyes to everyone, including you.”
Alden rubbed the back of his neck, stretching it out, and then turned to join Beth again, “Make it quick.”
Beth smile, “Yes sir… First off, thank you… thank you for making my life last for as long as it has. I know without you, I wouldn’t be here now. You are the strongest man I have ever met, and I want you to know that you don’t have to be the strongest all the time. There are times you could use a shoulder to lean on too. If you give Charlie that chance, he would be there for you. He is becoming quite the man because of you. I love you like a brother, I have seen you laugh, blow your top, or just sit back and watch shit happen. You never let any of us down.”
Alden looked over to her and she knew he was thinking he let her down, “No, not even me! We all have to watch out for ourselves. You can
’t be everywhere, and we can’t always be together.”
Beth reached out to take Alden’s hand, “I have just one request from you, allow them to love you, allow them to make mistakes, and allow them into your heart… you have survived this long, but you aren’t really living if you don’t allow people in.”
Beth got a big smile, “Now, give me a hug and go get busy!”
Alden wrapped her in his arms. Hugging tightly, he kissed her cheek with tears in his eyes, “I’m going to miss you, cupcake.” Alden got up and headed back to the door, “Who do you want to talk to next?”
“Oh, let’s go with Charlie…” Beth said in a lighthearted voice, trying to lighten the mood.
Alden walked out to rejoin the group, “Charlie, Beth wants to see you. I have a few things to do outside.” He walked straight through the kitchen and out the back door.
Charlie stood up, but looked to Ceara, “She never wants to see me?”
Colt poured his coffee in the sink and started for the back door to follow Alden, “She is saying goodbye, I know her… she would do that.”
Charlie watched Colt’s back disappear out the door, “Do you guys think he’s right?”
Ceara stood up to join Charlie, “You want me to go with you?” Charlie nodded, “I don’t want to do it alone.”
The two were soon knocking on the door, and walked into the room to join Beth. She looked at both and smiled, “I knew you two would be together. Come over here and talk to me.”
Ceara and Charlie sat on each side of the bed; Beth took their hands and placed them in the other, “You two are the hope for this world, not now, not tomorrow, but later. You have a love that will help rebuild this world. You have to keep each other safe, never doubt the other. I am telling you this because you are young enough that if there were to be a cure, you could still start a family.”
Charlie blushed, “Beth, we don’t, we haven’t… well umm”
Beth looked shocked, “You two still haven’t made love? What in the world are you waiting on?” She looked to Ceara, “Honey, are you a virgin?”
“BETH!”
Beth laughed but it turned into a cough. After a small drink of water, she continued. “Honey, I don’t have time for polite questions; now are you and is that why you are waiting?”
Charlie spoke up, “It isn’t her, it’s me… I was taught to be married first.”
Beth winked at him, “Charlie, everything we were taught growing up doesn’t fit this world. Let me ask you this… Do you love Ceara?”
Charlie looked to Ceara then back to Beth, “Of course I do.”
“Would you want to marry her?”
Charlie looked back to Ceara again, looked deep into her eyes this time and without looking away, “In a heartbeat.”
“Then you are married… look in your hearts and you will know I’m right. There is no one left to do a ceremony, besides that, you don’t need it! What we do need are couples that are the age to still have families. That is what I want you two to really think about. I know Alden disagrees with this, and I know how he feels. I am not talking about now, I just want you to start thinking in those terms.”
Beth leaned forward between them, “I want to say goodbye, we always say we have things left unsaid and I don’t want you guys feeling like that at all. I love you both very much, and I am so proud of how much you have grown since I first saw you guys shooting behind trees to save Colt and myself.”
Losing her energy she leaned back again, “That seems like a lifetime ago, and for me I guess it was… I think the world of both of you, never let this destruction or the loss of others stop you from moving forward and continuing on. If anything, allow all of this to show you the need to survive.”
Ceara grabbed Beth in a hug, “I don’t want to say goodbye! It isn’t fair! You have always taken care of us, so we should take care of you.”
Beth returned the hug then set Ceara back, “Honey, there is no taking care of me. If it were fixable, we would be doing it for all the others. Just tell me you love me and you will trust me on my decisions.” Beth looked to Charlie, “You too…”
Charlie gave her a hug too and sat back, “We both love you, and will miss you so much. You’re right when you said it feels like a lifetime. I don’t think any of us can imagine life without the other.”
Beth smiled, “We don’t want to think about it, but it is a fact of this world that people die. We lost Heath and that was hard, now you all will have to go through it again and for that I am sorry. I love you; please have Tabitha come talk to me.”
As Charlie and Ceara reached the door, Ceara turned back, “Love you too, and good luck with Tabitha.”
Soon Tabitha was sitting in the spot that Ceara had left, “I don’t want to hear any fucking goodbyes or I love you bullshit. You aren’t dead, you aren’t going to die,” Tabitha said in an angry tone.
Beth sat on the edge of the bed beside Tabitha causing the handcuff to rattle. Tabitha looked towards it, “Is that really necessary?”
Beth cocked an eyebrow, “I think if it were a stranger you would have had both hands cuffed, and that is if they were even allowed to keep breathing, so yes, it is necessary.”
Beth wrapped her free arm around Tabitha, “I know this is hardest on you and Colt, I am so sorry to put you through this when you have already lost Heath. You went through this just a few months ago. You like to pretend you are so strong and no one can get to you, but honey, you aren’t fooling anyone. You love everyone in this group. You care what happens, and you do what you can to keep them safe. You have to keep doing that Tabitha, don’t shut down and don’t close yourself off just because it’s easier. I will be watching from the other side and by the heavens above, I will come back and haunt you, if you don’t behave.” Beth smiled at Tabitha, but Tabitha just stood and walked to the window, watching Alden work on his truck.
She glanced over her shoulder at Beth then back to the window, “What’s the plan?”
“I don’t want to go into that, I want to have nothing left unsaid. Now, would you please come back over here and talk…” Before Beth could finish, she started throwing up into trashcan by her bed. Tabitha ran over trying to help. Soon Beth was having dry heaves, “Water, please.”
Tabitha grabbed the glass off the nightstand and held it as Beth drank. After several minutes, she was wiping her brow and pushing the trashcan away, “It won’t be long, Tabatha, it’s getting worse by the minute. I love you like a sister, you were what I always wanted from my own sister, which I missed because of her disease. You filled a hole that I didn’t even know I had. I will go to the next life happy. I will get to see my family and even see Heath and Niz. You want to know the funny part?”
Tabitha gave her a questioning look, and Beth continued, “I’m not the least bit scared. I have done everything I can. I have no regrets… ok, maybe that I would have liked to have seen that wanderer before he bit me.”
Tabitha glared at her, “That isn’t funny, and I love you too… You know I never had a family, never had people that gave a damn about me, till I met you guys.” Tabitha’s looks made Beth think of a little girl, “Beth, I don’t want to be alone again; I don’t want to be forgotten. I wish that thing had bit me.”
“Don’t you ever say that, Tabitha, you are such an asset to this group; they need you even more than they need me!” Tabitha’s looks made Beth quickly continue, “No, it’s true. I patch everyone up, but you have helped saved them from getting bit at all. All of you have grown and protected each other, and need each other. I am the expendable one, so in truth, it is good I was the one bitten.”
Tabitha rolled her eyes, “You don’t believe that bullshit any more than I do. You are still needed just as much now, as you always have been.”
Beth reached behind her to grab the notebook; “I am trusting this with you, this is how I am needed now. Everything I have gone through, every single detail is in that notebook. Not just from a person’s point of view, but a doctor’
s. When you guys meet up with others, you find someone that could use that information. One day there may be a cure because of something little in there.”
Tabitha took the notebook and let it hang in her hand, “I love you Beth, I love you more than I have loved anyone. You are my sister, and I will never forget you.”
Beth hugged Tabitha tight, finally allowing herself to cry, “I love you too, you are my little sister in every way. Look out for everyone.”
Tabitha got to her feet, “Have you said goodbye to Colt yet?”
Beth swallowed hard, “No… he is the last I need to talk too, I just don’t know what to say.”
“You will figure it out, you have a way with him and you know it. You want me to go find him?”
“Yes, please.”
Tabitha headed out the back door looking for Colt. Alden was still working on his truck, “Hey Alden” she shouted, “Have you seen Colt?”
Alden looked out from under the hood and pointed around the barn. Tabitha headed off in that direction and almost ran into Colt as he rounded the corner; Tabitha stopped short, “Whoa! Hey, Beth said she wants to talk to you next.”
Colt walked around her as if he didn’t hear her, Tabitha jerked him around, “She is doing bad, Colt… Now get your ass in there and talk to her before it’s too late.”
Colt bit the inside of his cheek, just staring at Tabitha. He turned back to go where he was headed and she stopped him again, “I will kick your ass, don’t think I won’t!”
“Tabitha, you don’t get it! If I don’t say goodbye, she won’t die!” Colt’s voice had a pleading tone to it, “She wouldn’t die without saying goodbye, so I can’t go in there!”
Tabitha fell back on the barn wall, looking at Colt as if he were crazy, “Colt, you don’t believe that, after all it didn’t work with Jessica, did it?”
Colt deflated before Tabitha’s eye’s as he slowly lowered to the ground, “I don’t want to say goodbye again, Tab!”
Tabitha sat by him on ground, “You don’t have to say goodbye, but you do have to go let her say her goodbyes. It is her right, and you owe it to her to be strong through this. You want to fall apart afterwards, do it… but for now, you hold it together for her.”
Surviving Day by Day (Book 3): Still They Come Page 29