TXT TLK
Instant messaging created a whole new shorthand language for computers and cell phone keypads. Here are some common abbreviations. (Don’t write like this for school or your teacher will wonder if UROK.)
HRU
How are you?
XLNT
Excellent!
QPSA
Que pasa?
WENJA
When do you
WAN2
Want to
2DAY
Today
HCIT
How cool is that?
WTG
Way to go
SUM1
Someone
NE1
Anyone
BION
Believe it or not
OIC
Oh, I see
F2T
Free to talk
ROTFL
Rolling on the floor, laughing
CUL8R
See you later
The Don’t in “DONT WALK” signs is misspelled—the apostrophe is missing.
SHOCKING!
The hair-raising truth about electricity.
CURRENT EVENTS
We all know electricity can be dangerous (your parents have probably been telling you that ever since you were a baby). The “Big E” gives us light and heat, and runs all of those things that make life fun, like CD players, computers, and X-Boxes. But electricity can knock you out in a second or even kill you.
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU GET A SHOCK?
Electricity naturally seeks the ground. If you stick your finger in a light socket, or touch a live wire with a screwdriver, you’ve just given the electricity an easy path to get to the ground—through you! Water is one of the best conductors of electricity and our bodies are mostly water, so electricity jumps on us like a flea on a dog.
You don’t have to be touching the ground to conduct electricity, either—you could be touching something like a ladder or a tree that, in turn, is in contact with the ground. But you have to complete the charge-to-ground connection. That’s why birds and squirrels sitting on live power lines don’t get electrocuted. Their feet aren’t grounded. But if a squirrel steps off a power line onto a branch, and its feet are touching both line and tree at the same time—Zap! Kentucky Fried squirrel.
World speed record for a person eating live night crawlers: 94 worms…in 30 seconds.
ZAPPED!
So how does an electrical shock kill you? Like this: Our muscles are triggered to contract by electrical impulses originating from our brains. When the electrical current reaches a certain level, it makes your muscles contract. But with a sustained electric shock, nothing tells the muscle to relax, which creates a “can’t let go” effect. The victim’s hand muscles contract around a wire and can’t release it—the current keeps the muscles contracted. Increase the current a bit and the heart muscle will be affected. A strong jolt can send the heart into ventricular fibrillation—beating uncontrollably out of rhythm. If this goes on too long…hasta la vista, baby.
HOW TO AVOID GETTING JOLTED
So how do the professionals avoid getting shocked?
• Electricians wear insulating shoes with rubber soles, which prevent the easy path to the ground that can result in a serious shock.
• One of the worst hazards firefighters entering a dark building face is an unseen broken power line dangling from a ceiling. What do they do? They walk with one hand extended in front of them, the back of the hand facing out. They keep the other close to their waist. Why? If they touch a wire, they’ll slap themselves, not the wire, and avoid the “can’t let go” effect.
Freshwater fish do not drink water. Saltwater fish do.
APRIL FOOLS
Have you ever wondered why people play tricks on each other every April 1? Keep wondering…because we’re not going to tell you. April Fool! Here’s why.
IN THE BEGINNING
Up until the mid-16th century, it was a tradition to begin the new year with a week of celebration, ending with a big party. But the calendar was different back then: years began on March 25, and the party fell on April 1. The introduction of a new calendar in 1564 made January 1 the official start of the new year. People who forgot—or didn’t realize—what had happened and still showed up to celebrate on April 1 were called “April fools.”
FOOLS AROUND THE WORLD
• In France, April 1 is called Poisson d’Avril, which means “April Fish.” Children tape paper fish to their friends’ backs, and when the young “fools” find out, the pranksters yell “Poisson d’Avril!”
• In England, tricks are only played in the morning. If a trick is played on you, you are a “noodle.”
• In Scotland, you are called an “April Gowk,” which is another name for a cuckoo bird.
• In Portugal, April Fool’s Day is celebrated on the Sunday and Monday before Lent. Pranksters throw flour at their friends.
Sneakers were invented in 1917 (they were called Keds).
APRIL FOOL’S JOKES
Here are a few classic April Fool’s jokes played by British radio and TV stations.
Pasta Farming: In 1957 the British Broadcasting Company (BBC) ran a TV documentary on “spaghetti growing” in Switzerland. Among the film’s highlights: footage of Swiss farmers picking market-ready pasta from “spaghetti trees.” To the BBC’s astonishment, many viewers believed the phony story, including the news that Switzerland’s “pasta farmers” had been able to fight off an especially destructive pest, “the spaghetti weevil.”
Jumping For Pluto: In 1976 a famous British astronomer told radio audiences that since the planet Pluto would be passing behind Jupiter on April 1, the Earth’s gravitational pull would decrease slightly for about 24 hours. He explained that listeners would feel the effect most if they jumped into the air at precisely 9:47 a.m. The station’s switchboard was jammed with listeners calling to say that the experiment had worked.
Rainbow Radio: Also in the 1970s, a British radio station announced that it was experimenting with “color radio”—and some listeners actually reported seeing results. One complained that the experiment had affected traffic lights in his area. Another asked station managers how much longer the bright colors he saw would be streaming out of his radio.
Want some ideas for your own April Fools’ jokes? Check out “Camp Capers” on page 83.
Pretty hip: George Washington’s false teeth were made of hippopotamus ivory.
ROYAL SLOBS
Before there were bathrooms, toilets, and indoor plumbing, where did people go? Just about anywhere they felt like going. And that included kings and queens, who had some pretty disgusting habits.
King James I of England (reigned 1603–25) loved hunting so much that he wouldn’t leave the saddle, even to go to the bathroom. The king just went in his pants and had his servants clean him up after he got home.
King Henry IV of France tried to do something about repulsive toilet habits. In 1606 he passed a law forbidding anyone to pee or poop in the corners of his palace in Paris. His son, The Dauphin (Louis XIII), issued a similar warning—no one was allowed to pee or poop on the floors or under stairways, either. But no one obeyed, including the prince. The very day that he made his announcement, he was caught peeing against the wall of his bedroom.
King Charles II of England fled to Oxford in 1665 to escape the plague. The people of Oxford thought the king was a royal slob. English historian Anthony Wood wrote about the king and his entourage in his diary: “Although they were neat in their apparel, they were nasty and beastly, leaving their excrement in every corner; in chimneys, studies, coalhouses, and cellars.”
Two thousand years ago, Europeans washed by coating themselves with mud, then scraping it off.
King Louis XIV of France (1638–1715) thought that everything he did was royally important—including going to the bathroom. One of his favorite things to do was greet guests while seated “on the throne.” Some people didn’t mind doing business wi
th the king while he was doing his business. They even paid to see his bare bottom, seated on the royal pot. Other people were disgusted by it, especially ambassadors from foreign lands. But that didn’t stop Louis. He even announced his engagement while sitting on the pot.
***
MORE BATHROOM LORE
• In 1490 Leonardo da Vinci designed an entire sanitary city with enough toilets for everyone. Spiral staircases led to all the bathrooms. Why spiral? So there were no corners for people to pee in.
• In the 18th century, a Dr. Benjamin discovered a well in his back garden that had terrible-tasting water. Health spas were popular at the time, and the townspeople figured that anything that tasted bad had minerals in it and must be good for you. They drank the well dry only to discover it was connected to the doctor’s septic tank.
• The first baron of Grimthorpe, Edmund Beckett Denison (who designed the famous clock called Big Ben in London) built a bathroom that locked a person in until they flushed the toilet.
Thirty-one percent of U.S. households have a dog. Twenty-seven percent have a cat.
SO DO ELEPHANTS
When biologists study how elephants behave in the wild, they find that they’re more like humans than any other four-legged animal.
Humans Do This: When your mom has to go out somewhere, she gets a babysitter.
So Do Elephants: They live in matriarchal family groups, which means that the leader is a female. And other females in the group will take care of young elephants when their mothers venture off. Just like humans, elephants gain their independence when they’re 18 to 20 years old. Adult females stay with the family group, but male elephants leave to form “bachelor groups,” although they stay close and visit often.
Humans Do This: When you want to tell your friend something really important, you call her up.
So Do Elephants: They emit a really low sound—so low that humans can’t hear it—that travels through the ground. The elephant receiving the call lifts up one leg and “listens” to the vibrations with her other three feet. They can also lay the tip of their trunks on the ground to pick up sound waves. What are they saying? According to biologists, a lot. It’s not only important information about approaching storms and impending danger—it’s also everyday chitchat, like, “Hey, where are you?”
That’s handy: Panda bears have an immobile “thumb” that helps them grasp bamboo shoots.
Here’s What Humans Do: When a close friend or relative gets back from a long trip, you have a party.
So Do Elephants: When a long-lost elephant returns to the family, a loud welcoming ceremony takes place. They spin around, flap their ears, and trumpet loudly.
Elephants like to play games, too, which isn’t uncommon for mammals. But what sets elephants apart is that, like humans, both young and old ones get in on the fun. They’ll play with whatever they can find—a rock, a log, even a slimy mud puddle! And just like a referee with a whistle, elephants begin a play session by trumpeting.
Here’s What Humans Do: When you miss someone, do you cry? When you get mad, do you throw a tantrum?
So Do Elephants: When a baby elephant dies, the mother grieves for a long time. She holds her head low, moves very slowly, and moans a lot. Other females stay close to her, gently stroking her with their trunks.
And when an elephant gets mad, watch out! He’ll take out anything in his path. Elephants are usually mild-mannered…unless they’re mistreated.
Here’s What Humans Do: What do you do when you’re happy? You smile and laugh.
So Do Elephants: When they’re happy they draw up the corners of their mouths, like a smile. And when they’re really amused, they wag their head and ears back and forth and make a chortling sound…kind of like a laugh.
For more about elephants, turn to page 161.
Swimming trunks: Elephants are excellent swimmers.
CAMP CAPERS
Are you going to camp this summer? Have you been invited to a slumber party? Is your sister having a sleepover? Here are a few ways to make sure you are the life of the party. BEWARE, though: Your capers could backfire and you could become the next target.
CAPER #1: Short Sheeting the Bed
Here’s a classic practical joke. Go to your friend’s bed and take the top sheet and fold it in half. Then make the bed, tucking in the bottom at the halfway point on the bed. Remember to tuck it in really tight. Replace the top quilt or blanket to make the bed look normal. Try not to laugh too loud when your friend tries to stretch out her legs (or she’ll know who did it).
CAPER #2: “Wetting” the Bed
Fill a small bowl with lukewarm water. Make sure it is as warm as body temperature: put a drop or two on the inside of your wrist—then you’ll be able to feel if it’s too cold or too hot.
Next, while your friend is sound asleep, gently take his hand and dip it into the water. Your friend will probably wet the bed, unless, of course, he wasn’t really asleep…in which case, you’d better run!
Light takes 1.25 seconds to travel from the moon to Earth.
CAPER #3: Shaving Cream
This caper counts on your pal being sound asleep. Put some shaving cream in the palm of her hand. Very gently, tickle her face. Watch what happens when she tries to scratch her itch!
CAPER #4: Sardines in the Shower
Suggest that everyone play Sardines. Sardines is the hide-and-seek game where one person hides and the others look for him. As each person finds him, they squeeze into his hiding place, just like…sardines. Last one to find the group loses and is “It” for the next game. Now, when it’s your turn to hide, go to the shower. Once everyone has squeezed in, turn on the water!
CAPER #5: Toilet Tricks
Tightly wrap clear plastic cling-wrap (like Saran wrap) over the toilet bowl (the bottom part) and replace the seat on top. The next person to pee will get a nasty surprise.
Warning: Don’t do this if your mom or dad (or camp counselor) will be using the toilet. You could get into BIG trouble. Also, don’t forget that you wrapped the toilet…or that next person could be you.
Another option: cover the seat with honey or syrup, or even more perfect—chunky peanut butter. Imagine going to the bathroom in the middle of the night and sitting on that. Yecch!
Top 3 tourist destinations worldwide: 1) France, 2) Spain, 3) U.S.
INSIDE THE ANTHILL
Like humans, these creepy-crawly critters live in communities and have highly developed systems for survival. They’ve been on Earth longer than humans have, though—in fact, about 40 million years longer. Here are some more fascinating facts about ants.
WHEN THE ANTS GO MARCHING IN
You’ve probably watched ants march single file across your lawn or sidewalk. Maybe they were carrying a tiny piece of bread that someone dropped on the ground. Or maybe the load was a dead beetle. Ants march in a line because they’re following a trail left by other ants. The trail goes between a food source and the giant nest where the ants live.
As many as seven million ants and one queen can live in a single nest. While the queen is busy laying eggs, the worker ants hunt for food and bring it home. And they’re strong: an ant can carry a load up to six times its own weight, and seven times its size. (Most humans can carry only about their own weight.)
Not only are ants strong, but they’re also the hardest-working insects on the planet. There are many kinds of ants, but each one has a job and works at it night and day.
Nearly 30% of Earth is made up of oxygen.
Gardeners. Leaf cutter ants have little gardens inside their nests where they grow a type of fungus that ants like to eat. They even make their own plant food. Using their powerful mandibles (jaws), leaf cutters bite off chunks of leaves and carry them back to the nest. Then they chew and spit out the leaves to make a fertilizer for their garden.
Ranchers. While leaf cutter ants are gardeners, other ants are ranchers. Just like human ranchers keep herds of cows, rancher ants keep herds of tiny green bugs
called aphids. These aphids make honeydew, which is a sweet, sticky nectar. The ants milk the aphids for their honeydew and use it for food. They also feed the aphids and protect them from being attacked (and eaten) by bigger bugs and animals.
Doctors. Believe it or not, there are even doctor ants. A scientist in Russia was watching a documentary film of ants from the Amazon. He was shocked to see three Amazonian ants extracting a splinter from the side of another ant. There was clearly one “doctor” ant who performed the surgery. The other two “nurse” ants formed a circle around the patient and doctor to protect them during the operation. The doctor ant worked carefully, and finally removed the splinter.
Slave-makers. One species of ant, sometimes called the blood red robber ant, builds colonies by sneaking into the nests of other ants and stealing the young ones. They carry them back to their own nests and turn them into slaves. Then they make these slave ants gather food, feed other ants, and work as maids to clean the nest.
Ants are ectotherms (“cold-blooded animals”)—they can’t produce their own body heat.
Guards. Some ant colonies have guards to protect them from slave-makers. They block the entrance to the nest with their bodies. Many guards squirt a type of acid at their enemies. Some larger guards use their strong jaws to attack invaders.
So how do the guards know which ants are from their nest and which are strangers? By their smell. Ants have special nerve cells on their antennae that can smell odors. Each farmer, gardener, and soldier ant has its own special scent. That scent lets the others know if the ant is okay or is dangerous.
Uncle John's Electrifying Bathroom Reader for Kids Only! Page 6