Uncle John's Electrifying Bathroom Reader for Kids Only!

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Uncle John's Electrifying Bathroom Reader for Kids Only! Page 11

by Bathroom Readers' Institute


  Yin, the dark energy, sank down and became the Earth. Yang, the light energy, floated up and became Heaven. Yin and Yang, being complete opposites, wanted to fight with each other.

  But Pan Ku would not let them—he stood between them and pushed them apart.

  Every year Pan Ku grew taller and stronger, and Heaven and Earth were pushed farther and farther apart. At last, after 18,000 years, Pan Ku had grown so large and Heaven and Earth were so far apart that they could no longer hurt each other.

  THE EARTH

  When Pan Ku’s work was finally finished, he was very, very old and very tired. So the giant lay down upon the Earth and prepared to die. As he died, a miracle happened: Pan Ku’s hands and feet became the four quarters of the globe. His head turned into the mountains that rise up from the Earth. His right eye became the sun and his left eye, the moon.

  First known architect: Imhotep. He built a pyramid at Saqqara, Egypt, in 2660 B.C.

  A thousand different plants and trees grew from his skin and hair. Pan Ku’s blood made the rivers and the sea. His teeth, bones, and marrow became the metals, rocks, and precious stones within the Earth. From his breath came the winds and from his booming voice came thunder.

  Last of all came the people. They were created from the fleas and lice that crept all over Pan Ku’s hairy body.

  And that is how the world began.

  Picasso created about 13,500 works of art in his 78-year career. (That’s one every other day.)

  WHERE IT’S @

  E-mail has only been around for a few decades; but @ (the “at” sign) has been around for centuries.

  A BRIEF HISTORY OF @

  Some linguists say the @ sign first appeared in the Middle Ages, when monks used it to shorten the Latin word ad, which means “at, toward, or by.” Others claim that @ stood for a measurement of weight in Spain in the 1400s. The measurement was “a jar” of something, or an arroba. Yet another view says @ was used by market sellers in the 1700s to show how much something might cost. They put signs in front of their stands, like “5 POTATOES @ 10 PENCE.” Two hundred years later, that symbol of the marketplace made its way to the keyboard of the first Underwood typewriter. It was called the commercial “a.”

  INTO THE DIGITAL AGE

  When computer programmer Ray Tomlinson invented electronic mail in 1972, he had to come up with a system for addresses. He needed to find a character to separate the name of the user from the network domain. It could not be a symbol that might be used in spelling someone’s name.

  Tomlinson studied the keyboard and found @. It was perfect: people would never spell their names with it, and it signified “at.” So his e-mail address could be, for example, Ray@home. In 1971 Ray sent his first electronic message—to himself.

  Thirsty? Head north—about 25% of the world’s fresh water is in Canada’s lakes and rivers.

  Nowadays, the only problem with @ is what to call it. In Spain, it’s still called arroba, a holdover from the jar measurement. The French use a modified version of that word: arobase. North Americans and the British call it the at sign. Translated into German, that’s at-Zichen. In Japanese, it’s atto maak.

  Other people are more creative. They’ve come up with names describing what it looks like:

  French

  petit escargot

  “little snail”

  Swedish

  kanelbulle

  “cinnamon bun”

  Danish

  snabel-a

  “the ‘a’ with the elephant’s trunk”

  Finnish

  miukumauku

  “sign of the meow” (for a curled-up sleeping cat)

  ***

  MORE TXT TLK (for instant messaging)

  6

  Parent over shoulder

  66

  They’re gone

  BAK

  Back at keyboard

  WB

  Welcome back

  EG

  Evil grin

  UKW

  You know who

  D

  The

  ATM

  At the moment

  GR8

  Great

  B4

  Before

  UW

  You wish

  BBS

  Be back soon

  GFY

  Good for you

  B4N

  Bye for now

  Slugs have four noses.

  FAMILY HOLIDAYS

  Every year, North Americans set aside special days to honor our fathers, our mothers, and even our grandparents. How did these holidays get started?

  MOTHER’S DAY (second Sunday in May)

  Origin: In 1908 Anna Jarvis, a West Virginia schoolteacher, started a one-woman crusade in honor of her mother, who had died three years earlier. On May 10, 1908, Jarvis persuaded pastors in several nearby cities to hold Mother’s Day services in their churches. From there she launched a letter-writing campaign to governors, congressmen, clergy, and the media. Six years later she finally achieved her goal: on May 9, 1914, President Woodrow Wilson issued an official proclamation establishing the holiday.

  The Inside Scoop: Jarvis—who had no children of her own—came to hate the holiday she created. She loathed its commercialism, especially flowers and greeting cards. “Any mother would rather have a line of the worst scribble from her son or daughter,” she complained, “than a fancy greeting card.”

  FATHER’S DAY (third Sunday in June)

  Origin: Anna Jarvis’s idea inspired a Spokane, Washington, housewife named Sonora Dodd to work for a Father’s Day in honor of her dad, who had raised six children alone. She proposed making Father’s Day the first Sunday in June—the month of her father’s birthday. But local religious leaders needed more time to prepare appropriate sermons, so they settled on the third Sunday. The first Father’s Day: June 19, 1910.

  In China, cats are considered good luck. =^..^=

  Although President Wilson personally observed the holiday, he refused to make it official. And no succeeding president would officially endorse the holiday, either. The reason: They feared voters would think it was too self-serving. Finally in 1972, Father’s Day was proclaimed a federal holiday by President Richard Nixon.

  The Inside Scoop: Although she turned down many offers to endorse products, Dodd had nothing against giving gifts on Father’s Day. “After all,” she said, “why should the greatest giver of gifts not be on the receiving end at least once a year?”

  GRANDPARENTS’ DAY (first Sunday after Labor Day)

  Origin: Most historians give credit for this holiday to Marian McQuade, a grandmother from West Virginia. But others say it was Michael Goldgar, a grandfather from Georgia. Both made several trips to Washington to lobby for a holiday that celebrated the wisdom of grandparents. Whichever it was, it worked. President Carter signed Grandparent’s Day into law in 1978. September was chosen because it represents the autumn years of life.

  Every year, Americans spend $20 million on Father’s Day ties.

  DEAD OR ALIVE?

  Before you bury someone, please make sure they’re ready to be buried. Here are some “dead” folks who came back to life.

  Pronounced Dead: Margaret Erskine of Scotland

  What Happened: Erskine was pronounced dead in 1574. She was given a somber funeral and was then buried in the family tomb. That night, the cemetery caretaker snuck into the tomb and tried to steal the ring off Margaret’s finger. He was given the fright of his life when the dead woman sat up in her coffin and let loose a blood-curdling scream. Erskine recovered and lived for another 51 years. The caretaker, on the other hand, was probably never the same again.

  Pronounced Dead: Matthew Wall of England

  What Happened: Wall was a farmer in the 16th century. When he died, he was put into a wooden coffin and carried to the cemetery. But the clumsy pallbearers slipped on some wet leaves and accidentally dropped the coffin on the road (Fleece Lane), somehow knocking the life back into Wall. Years lat
er, when he finally did pass away, the farmer provided in his will for Fleece Lane to be swept clean every year on the anniversary of his revival—October 2. The townspeople still celebrate Old Man’s Day to commemorate that lucky old farmer, Matthew Wall.

  It’s a dirty job, but someone’s got to do it: A garbologist is a scientist who studies garbage.

  Pronounced Dead: James Bartley, a 36-year-old sailor

  What Happened: In 1891 Bartley, a crewman of the British whaling ship Star of the East, was swallowed by a sperm whale. His mates quickly harpooned the whale, badly injuring it, but were unable to save poor Bartley. The next day, the whale was found dead, floating on the surface of the water. The crew hauled it aboard, sliced it open, and were shocked to find seaman Bartley—unconscious, but still breathing—in the whale’s stomach!

  Bartley was delirious for days but recovered to describe his ordeal. He remembered being in darkness, then slipping along a passage to a larger space, and then being covered in slime. Not only that, his tan skin had been bleached white by the whale’s gastric juices.

  Pronounced Dead: Glenda Stevens’s dog, Sweetie

  What Happened: Glenda was heartbroken when a mail truck hit her little dog. She checked carefully for a heartbeat, but when she didn’t hear one, she tearfully buried her beloved pet in the backyard. Hours later, Glenda’s daughter looked outside and saw Sweetie’s legs sticking out of the ground. Sweetie, who wasn’t dead after all, was actually digging herself out of the grave!

  First European to explore North America: a Viking named Leif Eriksson, in about 1000 A.D.

  C-O-D-E BREAKERS

  Can you figure out this message from Uncle John?

  R VLLF WLST! BLLG BL CG GWKLL E’ISEIQ

  VLCK GWL GWKEVL KEEB.

  TSLCUL HL GWLKL CVF FEV’G HL SCGL.

  C ULIKLG UYKTKRUL MRSS ZKLLG AEY.

  HKRVZ GWL TSYVZLK!

  HOW TO BE A CODE BREAKER

  1. Count the types of characters. If it has 12 to 50 different ones, it’s probably based on an alphabet (this message is based on the English alphabet).

  2. Which letter occurs most often? (In English, it’s E.)

  3. Put E wherever the most frequent character comes.

  4. Now guess which three signs create the word the— the most common three-letter word in English.

  5. When you’re sure of #4, put T and H in their proper places. This should suggest some other words (there, their, these, then, etc.)

  By now you probably have enough letters to solve the coded message.

  Answer on page 282.

  Run, Kermit! Giant water bugs, which grow to 4 inches long, can eat frogs.

  SPORTS GREATS

  Want to be a sports superstar? It’s easy! Well, actually, no, it’s not. It takes hard work and determination. And it doesn’t hurt to have extraordinary physical skills, too.

  WHAT MAKES BARRY BONDS GREAT?

  Barry Bonds of the San Francisco Giants is the best hitter in baseball. He’s hit more home runs in a season than any other baseball player and he won the 2002 National League Batting Crown. He’s not the biggest; he’s not the strongest; he’s not even the fastest. So what’s his secret? Excellent eyesight.

  Most people have 20/20 vision. Barry has 20/13 vision. That means he has better than average vision—he can see at 20 feet what someone else can see at 13. Barry says he can see the stitches on the baseball the second it leaves the pitcher’s hand. He can see how the ball spins in the air, which lets him know if the pitch is a fastball, a slider, or a curveball. Once Barry knows what kind of ball is coming toward him, he decides whether to swing at it. And Barry has the batting power to knock those balls out of the park.

  WHAT MADE WILMA RUDOLF GREAT?

  Wilma Rudolf was known as the fastest woman in history. In the 1960 Olympics, she won three gold medals in track. Only eight years before—when she was 12—Wilma had been unable to walk without a leg brace because of polio, a disease that paralyzed her left leg. Doctors told her she would never walk again, but Wilma refused to listen to them. She worked hard and not only learned to walk again, she learned to run. Then she started to compete. At first, Wilma lost every race, but she never gave up. She became a star on her high school basketball team, then became a star on her college track team. She worked hard and by the time she was 16, the Tennessee Tornado (as she was called) was asked to join the U.S. Olympic track team. Four years later she made Olympic history. What made Wilma great? Determination, hard work, and a fierce belief in herself.

  Youngest pro baseball player ever: Joe Nuxhall. He was fifteen when he played for the Cincinnati Reds in 1944.

  WHAT MADE MICHAEL JORDAN GREAT?

  Michael Jordan is one of the most recognized athletes in the world. He led his team, the Chicago Bulls, to the NBA championship six times! His amazing prowess on the basketball court earned him the nicknames “Air Jordan,” and “his Airness.” But winning isn’t as easy as it sometimes looks. As Jordan himself said, “I have missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I have lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times, I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot…and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

  WHAT MADE PELE GREAT?

  Brazilian-born Pelé (pronounced Pay-lay) is one of the greatest soccer players who ever lived. He was most known for his “bicycle kick,” in which he kicked the ball backward over his head and into the goal. Doctors were so amazed by his physical abilities that they performed tests on him to find out what made him such a great player. They discovered that besides having perfect motor skills and great speed, Pele also had unusually keen peripheral vision, which is the vision that allows you to see out the sides of your eyes. This meant he was able to see most of the soccer field while he was playing. (Talk about keeping your eye on the ball!) Doctors also discovered that Pele had a genius I.Q. He loved to play chess and worked on geometry problems whenever he could. That kind of problem-solving skill—along with his great vision and speed—really helped Pelé master his game.

  WHAT MAKES LANCE ARMSTRONG GREAT?

  Lance says he was born to race bikes. He was 13 when he won the Kids Iron Triathlon. By the time he was 22 he was known as the “Golden Boy of American Cycling.” Then, in 1996, he received the devastating news that he had cancer… and would probably die.

  Lance refused to accept that. And amazingly, three operations and several rounds of chemotherapy later, he was back on his bicycle. Still, many top bike teams were afraid to let him join. They thought he’d be weak and unable to compete. Again, Lance refused to accept it. His absolute belief in himself made him the winner he is today. Not only has he won his battle with cancer, he’s won the Tour de France—the most famous and difficult bike race in the world—four times!

  Hole in one! LifeSavers are the most popular non-chocolate candy in the U.S.

  IF THE SHOE FITS

  Q: What have tongues but never speak? A: Shoes, of course. You put them on every day, but have you ever wondered about their origin? Here are a few fascinating shoe facts.

  FASHION POLICE

  • In the 1300s, Philip the Fair, king of France, passed a law that forbade anyone in his court—counts, dukes, barons, and their wives—to own more than four outfits. Philip forgot to mention shoes in his law, so these nobles spent enormous amounts of money on shoes.

  In fact, shoe fashions became so wild that at one point they had two-foot-long tips. These really long tips were reserved for princes and nobility. The merely rich were allowed only one-foot-long tips, and lower-class folks could have six-inch toes. This fashion ended abruptly in 1396 during the Battle of Nicopolis, when people had to cut the tips off their shoes to run away.

  • Quack! And speaking of French shoes, in the 1400s, men’s shoes had a square tip that looked like a duck’s bill. This fashion was started by King Charles VIII to hide the fact that he had six toes on one foot.

  • That’s hot! Heeled shoes made their first appeara
nce in the Middle East, not as a fashion statement, but to lift the foot off the burning sand. Ancient Romans wore “platform shoes” to keep their feet out of water and mud.

  Get started! Composer Johann Sebastian Bach started playing the violin at age 4.

  • Cave fashions. How long have people been wearing boots? A cave painting dating from 13,000 B.C. was found in Spain, depicting a man and a woman wearing knee-high boots of fur and animal skin.

  • High anxiety. During the 1500s and 1600s in Europe, the heels on shoes were always colored red. Upper-class women wore heels as high as six inches—which lifted them so high up and so off-balance that they needed servants to help them walk.

  • Sealing the deal. In Biblical times, a sandal was given as a gift to symbolize an agreed-upon promise. In the Middle Ages, when a man asked a woman to marry him, the bride-to-be’s father would give the suitor one of his daughter’s shoes. During the wedding, the groom would give his bride the shoe, which she would put on to show her that husband now ruled her. (Remind you of Cinderella?) Today shoes are sometimes tied to the bumpers of newlyweds’ cars—a holdover from that shoe ceremony from nearly 1,000 years ago.

  • Right on? Back in 200 A.D., the Romans were the first to make shoes for right and left feet. But that concept got lost and shoes were one-size-fits-both-feet for the next 1,600 years. Then, in 1839, William Young, a shoemaker in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, decided there was a difference between feet after all and designed shoes for each foot. He became known as the “crooked shoemaker.”

 

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