by Brogan Riley
Later.
Now I want to be inside her.
I drive my cock into her heat, filling her in one thrust. She gasps as her body tenses beneath mine.
“Missed you, baby girl.”
My head drops as I thrust into her hard. Her body rocks so deliciously beneath mine, her heels digging into my lower back.
I put her calves on my shoulders, rest my good hand against the mattress, and pound into her. I need to shake off the adrenaline. I need to fuck like an animal.
Poppy’s moans fill the air, stripping me of control.
I need all of her. Her body, her soul, her screams of pleasure.
Her walls spasm around my cock as she comes and her voice halts.
I come just after her.
Poppy
He kisses me gently as his sweat splashes against my mouth and makes my lips sting.
“Go have a shower, Jackson.”
“Say you love me first.”
“I love you.”
He grazes my chin, his cock still hard inside of me. His finger circles my nipple. My core heats up again and I feel myself clench around his hardness.
He tumbles me over so I’m on top of him, impaled on his thick shaft. His fingers slide down my back and his hand squeezes my ass.
I move my hips up and a bit forward and that forces a gasp from his mouth. The flame of desire seizes his gaze.
I feel beautiful and loved.
Powerful.
I run my finger along the bridge of his nose and then glide my thumb over his lower lip.
With two fingers of my other hand, I search for my sensitive point and stroke it.
“Fuck, Poppy, you’re wonderful.” His fingers move up and down my ass crack.
I massage myself and allow pleasure to fill me up and carry me towards my peak.
I shatter.
Then I ride my husband. I make him come with a moan.
I fall onto his good arm as his cock slips out. We lie down on our sides to steady our breaths. Five minutes later, Jackson gets up and goes to the bathroom. I can hear him take a shower.
He returns to bed and wraps his good arm around me.
I don’t ask him about his injuries even though I can see bruising, cuts, and scratches. He was doing club business. That’s all I need to know.
He is alive. That’s all that matters to me.
“Poppy?”
“Uhm?”
“I love you more than anything.”
I love him too.
I love him so much it hurts.
I’m going to support him out the best I can.
***
I wake up late in the morning. I get up and go downstairs.
Jackson is cooking breakfast in the kitchen. I help him, dishing up for us. We eat, talking about the weather.
Jackson puts on a serious expression. “How are you?”
“Fine.”
“You saw Tyler kill a man.”
“He wanted to kill Fiona and me, so he got what he deserved.”
His eyes fill with concern. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t here to protect you.”
“I’m fine, Jackson, don’t worry.”
He nods, but his hand has a slight tremble. “Are you finished?” His eyes wander off for a moment.
“Yes.”
He freezes like something is troubling him.
“I can pretend to be a strong woman, Jackson. I’m good at that.”
“You are a strong woman, Poppy. As strong as Fiona is.”
This is the best compliment I could wish for.
Jackson rises to his feet and takes me out for a walk along the cliff.
My heart hammers in my chest and I don’t know why.
“I want you to see someone, Poppy.”
“Sure.”
His jaw muscles twitch. “I love you, no matter what.”
“I love you too.”
His hand searches for mine and I feel it tremble.
“Jackson?”
He pulls my hand, picking up the pace. A caravan rises in front of my eyes, sheltered by two palm trees. A woman is sitting on the metal stairs that lead to the glass front door. My eyes meet hers.
I yank my hand away from Jackson’s. I feel breathless as though a piece of thick rope is strangling my throat. My chest turns into a cage.
I move back as images course through my head. I don’t want them.
I keep moving back. Jackson follows me, extending his arm towards me.
“Don’t touch me,” I hiss.
I have to kill them. Kill them all. All my memories.
I left them in the castle. I can’t have them back.
My stomach twists and I bend forward. I retch and throw up.
The woman rises to her feet and walks over to me. I know her.
I don’t want to know her.
And I want to. Want it very badly.
I remember him and her, the choking sounds she was making, her pleas, her cries.
She threatened. Feared. Bled.
Felix was a massive man. A powerful man.
No… no… no…
He was a king, I was a princess. My mom died.
Stop thinking, Poppy.
But I can’t cut it.
Terrible thoughts flood me.
“Poppy,” the woman says with a crack in her voice.
I throw up again.
Jackson is too close. His closeness is killing me. I can’t bear it. I can’t.
I can’t breathe.
I throw up again as a crushing pain braces my chest.
I draw in a sharp breath, but the air is stuck in my mouth.
Doctor emerges from the caravan. “Where is your inhaler?”
I can’t breathe.
Doctor starts running.
Everything is blurry. I’m blurry. Seconds are like hours. Everything is slow. Voices bounce off me. I fall to my knees.
I feel like I’m dying.
I will die any moment.
A cold item is shoved into my mouth. It puffs.
I take in a shallow breath.
The world wavers and shimmers.
Life returns to my body.
I feel like I’m cold and stiff. Detached.
Jackson
I want to pull her into my arms, but she wails like an animal and moves away from me. A strong male hand grips my arm.
“Don’t,” Doctor says.
I know he’s right.
I watch Poppy shake and retch. Sonja wraps her arms around my wife from behind. Poppy clings to her and they both sob.
Then Poppy whispers something into Sonja’s ear. They nod at each other.
Fuck. They look like two sisters even though a few grey hairs shine in Sonja’s brown waves.
But they are…
I want to torture him and kill him again. I want to rewrite Poppy’s life.
I know I’m losing her. It’s wavering in her eyes. A sense of doom sits on my shoulders.
“I need to be far from you, Jackson,” Poppy says.
I can barely hear her.
“Why is that, Poppy?” I ask. “That doesn’t change anything between us.”
She shakes her head, scraping her nails down her forearm. “That changes everything.”
I pull forward, but Doctor’s grip prevents me from catching her.
“Jackson, don’t do this,” he growls.
Sonja shelters Poppy with her body like I’m a serial killer.
“I can take them both to my cabin,” Doctor says. “They need silence and solitude so—“
“No fucking way,” I growl. “She’s not going anywhere.”
“I can’t be around you,” Poppy says. “I want to go to Doctor’s cabin.”
“No way in hell,” I growl even though I know I have to let them go. “Poppy, please. Let’s talk, baby. I’m here for you. We’ll talk it over, and everything’s gonna be fine, I promise.”
Poppy shakes her head as she wiggles out of Sonja’s embrace. They hold hands
and my wife starts walking away from me.
Something shreds my heart. It hurts like never before.
I watch them until they disappear behind a hill.
Doctor pats my shoulder. “This is Poppy’s decision. Sonja wanted to stay.”
“What am I to do now?”
“Wait?”
“What if she doesn’t want me anymore?”
“She may make such a decision.”
“She’s my wife.”
“She needs to recover, brother.”
I nod. “Whatever she needs now…” I sweep my eyes over the ocean’s waves. “Is she going to be alright?”
“I don’t know. They both need years of therapy, Jackson. Such wounds heal, but there’re bad scars.”
I’ve seen shit in life. I know such people need time, space, and peace.
I nod several times. “Take care of them. President’s order.”
Doctor salutes me. We shake hands and he walks off.
I lower to my knees. I feel so lonely it’s almost like dying. Poppy is my breath and my life. My ray of joy. My everything. I’m dead without her.
Chapter 14
Poppy
I get out of the car and shrink into myself at the chilly coldness of air that braces me like a frosty corset. Harshness scented with resins and wildness invades my nostrils and diffuses into my lungs. The pristine landscape all around me makes me feel like I’m facing God. The highest authority and eternal power radiate from the mountains bathed in the misty sunlight.
My mom stands behind me, laying her hands on my shoulders. “I like it here,” she says.
“I like it here too,” I say as I straighten and look up at the sky.
The blue colour of it seems to be kind of diluted like it has mixed with water. The three peaks in the distance have an intense navy-blue aura though.
“Only you and me.” my mom says.
“And me,” Doctor says. “From time to time.”
His real name is Thomas. My mom calls him Tommy.
I tap my feet and stretch my achy muscles. We’ve driven for many hours with two stops for the toilet and food.
I turn around and look at my mom. Pain squeezes my heart at the sight of grey wisps that shine in her hair and the dark circles under her beautiful sad eyes. I look like her and she looks like her mother.
My mom fought so hard, so desperately.
She fought… while five pills had removed the problem within ten minutes.
I rub the edge of my palm on my forehead and Thomas’s eyes bore into me.
He knows.
No, he doesn’t.
Nobody knows.
Even I don’t know.
I didn’t climb the side wall of the castle. I didn’t swing my body into the king’s office through the window. I didn’t put the pills into the glass filled with his favourite bourbon.
He was already drunk. He couldn’t sense the bitter taste of the pills.
I was watching him, hidden behind the burgundy curtain.
No, I wasn’t.
I can’t remember. I don’t know.
Sabine knows.
She said I was a lucky idiot. Five pills were not enough to kill him, but the allergic reaction to them was.
More of the unwanted memories enter my head.
Sabine choked and retched and threw up. Always so sweaty and bruised.
She hated him so much.
She hated me even more.
Why did she hate me so much? I freed her from him. I helped her bury the body in the back garden. I told her we were going to pretend that he’d gone on a vacation and decided not to come back.
She’s evil.
I’m only Poppy.
I’m only Poppy.
I glance at my mom and see dread in her eyes.
“Poppy, sweetie?” she squeaks.
“I need a walk,” I say.
“Don’t wander off,” Thomas says. “There’re wild animals out there.”
I nod. “Okay.”
I zip up my hoody and shove my hands into the pockets. Twigs break under the soles of my boots and shrubs rustle at the touch of my knees as I meander among majestic pine trees, with cobwebs hanging between their trunks like Victorian necklaces. To my left, four high mountains with their peaks dotted by patches of snow loom over the area, rough and unyielding. Brown colours glitter in the streaks of sunlight as they mingle with dirty yellows and pristine greys.
I kill my dark thoughts.
But they don’t want to die.
The aromatic primeval allure exhaled by the wall of the forest that stretches in front of me helps me forget about my memories if only for a moment.
Thomas said I wasn’t stupid.
My mom kept telling me I was because she wanted to protect me.
I love her so much. Always have.
She was too young. Way too young. Twelve?
Jackson’s face flashes through my head. I kill off this image.
I’m too contaminated for him.
I’m too damaged.
I’m not worthy of his love.
Anomalies like me should be kept in isolation.
“Poppy,” my mom says behind me.
I turn to face her. “Everything’s going to be fine, Mom.”
I can see it in the softness of her brown eyes that my words give her relief.
I want to be on my own.
I want to forget about the decay of my life and be someone else.
But my mom needs me. I can’t leave her, not after what she’s gone through in life.
Jackson has freed her.
Jackson is a good man.
I’m bad. Distorted and broken. So contaminated that I can contaminate other people.
I can’t.
Jackson
I’m drunk most of the time. I reek most of the time.
The club girls keep their distance because I’m a furious animal all the time.
Now, I’m seated on the couch, my t-shirt stained with beer. I haven’t showered for three days. Why would I? My wife left me a month ago. There’s nobody for me to kiss and fuck so I don’t need to be a clean human.
Fiona slams a glass of beer down on my table. “Fucking hell. You stink like a horde of pigs.” Our glances meet and she shrinks into herself. “Sorry, Prez.”
I’m not in the mood.
I’ve tried to call Poppy, but she didn’t answer any of my calls. Doctor has called me twice and said they were fine.
I grab my beer and empty the glass in four gulps.
Tomorrow, I’m gonna get sober and shower.
Tomorrow, I’m gonna visit a very rich bitch.
Tonight, I want to be a brainless animal.
Amy delivers another glass of beer to my table, her eyes sweeping the floor. She mumbles something in her thin squeaky voice and backs up. Tyler flops from his bar stool and walks over to me.
He drops onto the couch, wincing in disgust at the first inhalation of my reek.
“Thanks kid,” I say with sarcasm.
“Anytime.” He puts his elbows on his thighs. “The business will be taken care of as always.” He looks me in the eye. “Prez, you sure you don’t want anyone else to go with you tomorrow? I could—“
“The orders are clear. I’m not gonna repeat myself.”
“I could—“
“No, kid. Not this time, you understand?”
He nods as his hands rise in a warding gesture. His face looks like on that rainy evening I met him for the first time, a scared kid. Scared about me.
We are sitting in silence for a moment. I see Priest talking to Santi who throws his muscular arm over Eve’s back and squeezes her tit with his other hand. The guy is thirty and has just learned his one-night stand is pregnant with him. The bitch will deliver the baby to our clubhouse as soon as it’s born. She wanted to be his old lady, hence the pregnancy, but she’s too busy in life, too selfish to have a baby as a single mom. Santi threatened he’d kill her if she dared kill his unborn. He�
�s a family man—he was born into a big loving family of eight. He’s with us because he likes helping people in need.
Fiona can deal with his problem. I have my own problems.
My dry eyes sweep over Cade shoving his dick into Cara’s mouth, then over Declan refusing Tracy’s eager mouth.
Tyler clears his throat. “Fiona talks to her over the phone twice a week.”
“I know.”
His jaw muscles twitch as his eyes wander off. He inhales deeply and glances back at me. “She’s pregnant, but it’s a secret.” His eyes travel to Fiona who’s busy correcting the bandage wrapped around her shoulder. “Only Fiona knows. It’s a secret.” He emphasises the last word.
The glass in my hand breaks from the strength of my grip with a delicate ringing sound. “She said that to Fiona?”
“Yes.”
The shards fall to the floor with a clinking sound as blood gushes from the cuts on my palm.
Eve hurries over to wipe the floor around my feet as I lift myself and stagger towards the exit. I need fresh air. I need to get sober.
I need my wife by my side.
I walk over to my house, enter it, peeling off my clothes, and step into the shower cabin.
My blood blends with water as I rest my forearm against the tiling.
My baby.
Why is my wife not here with me then?
She should be here, pressed against my chest. My hand would massage her tummy, soothing her and the little bug growing inside of her.
We should kiss, make love, and be happy.
Why is there so much shit in the world? Why do people hurt their kids? I just can’t get it.
A flame of defiance ignites inside of me. It burns fiercer and fiercer. I’m just a tiny life in the vast ocean of evil and corruption, but I’m gonna fight against the predators. I’m gonna make a tiny difference. I’m gonna save as many lives as possible.
Poppy
She stretches her legs, glancing up at the sky, palms on her thighs. The sun’s rays filter past the trees and burn in patches. I wrap the blanket tighter around her.
“Thank you, sweetie,” she says.
We’re sitting on the bench, the two-storey cabin behind us.
We try to talk every day, but it’s so difficult. She’s crying a lot.
I don’t want to remember, but I don’t want to upset her even more so I talk about the past with her.
“He was good to me,” I say as a cold hand of repulsion grips my throat.