“Okay, great. So, where are we going?” I ask.
“Thought we’d grab some food,” Zach says, shoving his hands into his jeans pockets. They’re sitting so low that I can see pants peeping over the top. I quickly avert my eyes.
“Where?” I ask cautiously, expecting him to say a pizza place, or the cheap noodle shack, which is where I went with Danny once.
“Miller Street,” Zach says.
“Oooh, yeah!” I say excitedly.
Blimey, this is actually going to be a real date. Miller Street is where the decent restaurants are, and I’ve never been to a proper restaurant without my parents before.
This is the best!
Although… if he expects me to split the bill, I hope I’ve got enough money. I only brought a tenner.
“Erm, it’s not too expensive, is it?” I say awkwardly.
“Nah,” Zach says.
In that case, I refuse to focus on niggly worries. Instead I’m going to ignore my nerves and enjoy the happy, excited feeling I’ve got from knowing someone’s finally taking me somewhere decent.
Ten minutes later, the excitement has evaporated. Because we’re not going to a restaurant. It’s a little café, which isn’t even on Miller Street – it’s on one of the little side roads leading off it. And outside it, there’s a faded banner which reads, Seafood Speciality Evenings.
Yep, the place specialises in seafood. And I’m the girl who hates fish with a passion. Oooooh, this is not good. Even the smell wafting out of the open kitchen door is enough to make me queasy.
Maybe I should say something. But what if that puts him off me? I don’t want to ruin our date before it’s begun. I can’t do it. I’m sure there’ll be something for me to eat.
My heart starts to thump as I follow Zach, my stomach churning every step of the way. Inside, the café is lit only by candles, I’m guessing to conceal the fact it’s actually pretty tatty, and immediately makes me worry that my spots will cast crazy shadows all over my face, making them seem even bigger. The floor is sticky underfoot, and there are stinky fishing nets hanging from the ceiling.
We head to a seat by the window, and as I sit down, the chair wobbles terrifyingly. I grab onto the table for support. The last thing I need is to end up sprawled on the floor. God knows what I’d catch down there. Besides, I need to make Zach think that I’m sophisticated and elegant. Someone sophisticated and elegant who enjoys seafood, and isn’t in danger of hurling their dinner all over him.
Which is a very real possibility.
Taking the menu (actually a laminated piece of A4 paper) from a waitress, I scan it nervously. Then I nearly have a meltdown. Partly because of the food – unsurprisingly, there’s not a lot of choice for a girl who doesn’t eat anything remotely fishy – but also because of the prices! This place costs way more than the noodle shack.
“Um, Zach?”
Zach’s gorgeous eyes peep over the top of his menu, and the floaty feeling I get shuts me right up. I can’t give myself away now. If I do he’ll never want to want to see me again, let alone want to be my boyfriend.
“What are you going to have?” I say.
“Not sure, it all sounds great.”
“Mmm, it really does,” I enthuse fakely.
“Are you ready to order?” a waitress asks, appearing at the side of the table.
“Seafood platter,” Zach says, shoving the plastic menu back at the girl. “Suzy? What are you having?”
“I’m not actually that hungry, so I think I’ll have the soup of the day, please,” I reply, forcing a smile. It was the cheapest thing I could find on the menu.
But it turns out to be a big mistake.
A big, big, big mistake.
When the soup arrives, it’s a kind of grey colour, with horrible rubbery things floating around on the surface. My insides clench as I stare down at it.
“Everything all right?” Zach says.
“Yes… fine. Just, um… it smells so good. Looks yummy.”
Zach takes a huge bite of crabstick and chews happily.
I lift my spoon and prod gingerly at my dinner. Maybe I can distract myself by getting Zach chatting.
“So, whereabouts in Collinsbrooke do you live?”
Jeez, was that seriously the best I could come up with? What a lame-o.
Zach wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. “Clarendon Street.”
Clarendon Street? That’s not far from where Jamie lives, although it’s a lot less posh.
“My friend lives near there,” I tell him. “Jamie Turner. Do you know him?”
“Yeah, I’m on the football team with him. Not as good as he thinks he is,” Zach says dismissively.
I decide it’s probably best to pretend Zach didn’t just say that.
“So do you like living there?”
“S’all right,” Zach says, spearing a prawn. Ugh. It still has eyes.
“I’m surprised I haven’t seen you round there,” I say, trying not to shudder. “I hang out with Jamie a lot. Well, I did. Not any more, I suppose. Jamie’s best mates with Danny, you know, the boy I used to go out with and…”
Stoptalkingstoptalkingstoptalking! Even I’m not daft enough to not realise talking about your ex on a date with someone else is a bad idea.
My voice melts away. I wait for Zach to say something, but he just keeps shovelling food into his mouth like he’s not eaten all week.
I’m so busy trying to work out what to do next that I inadvertently lift my spoon up to my mouth and take a mouthful of soup. And nearly spit it straight back out again. It’s disgusting. And because I’ve left it so long, it’s gone all cold. Don’t be sick. Swallow quickly and breathe… breathe.
Only… oh dear God – I can’t breathe. I actually can’t breathe! There’s something stuck in my throat. I’m going to die! I’m going to die!
I grab out blindly for my glass of water and take a huge glug.
It only makes things worse. Now I’m choking.
My face has gone red and tears are streaming down my cheeks.
Why isn’t Zach doing something instead of sitting there, staring at me with that horrified look on his face?
Out of the corner of my watery eye, I see a waitress sprint up to our table. “Are you okay?” she asks, sounding panicked.
Wordlessly, I shake my head. Of course I’m not flipping okay! I’m dying here!
The waitress moves behind my chair, and delivers a sharp karate chop to my upper back. It’s then a fish bone flies out of my mouth. Gasping a grateful, heaving breath, I watch helplessly as it tumbles in mid-air, almost in slow motion, heading towards Zach’s face.
Oh. Please. No.
The bone hits Zach smack on the side of the nose, where it bounces off with a poooiiinng and lands on top of the buttered roll he’s just about to take a bite of.
Oh my God. Oh my God. Please tell me that didn’t just happen.
Zach drops his bread in disgust.
“Well, that was a close one,” the waitress jokes, smiling as she fusses around us. “Feeling better now? We’ll give you a discount on that, as an apology, all right?” She pats me on the shoulder sympathetically.
It’s nice that she’s so concerned. At least someone cares about me. Zach’s more interested in getting another bread roll.
I put my spoon on the table and try to compose myself. No way am I eating any more of that soup. It’s lethal. And now not only is Zach going to remember me as the girl who tried to cripple him, I’ve become the girl who tried to cripple him and then spat fish in his face.
Maybe I should just pretend that everything’s normal. Maybe he’ll forget… or something.
“So, um, have you always been a big football fan? Which team do you support?” I say, my voice still all croaky.
It seems football is the magic button to press. Zach’s face brightens, and that’s it, he’s off. He talks and talks and talks.
Well, that’s a relief. The fish bone has been forgotten. Hurrah! But
is he ever going to stop? He’s been going on for ages.
I’ve now heard all about his favourite club, each of the players there and what kind of season they’re having, followed by the entire history of Zach’s footballing career and how he’s hoping to be scouted by one of the top clubs any day soon. “Did I tell you about the cup match I won for my last school?”
“No, I don’t think so,” I say, doing my best to appear interested.
“Yeah, I was amazing,” Zach brags. “It was three all, with only two minutes to go, and this school was our biggest rival, right, so I won the ball from this guy who must have been at least twice the size of me…”
I tune him out.
“Suzy?”
“Huh?” I jerk myself back to the room. “What did you say?”
“We’ll split the bill, okay?” Zach says.
“But…”
How can I say my meal cost nowhere near as much as his dinner? Plus he’s not allowing for the fact my soup was discounted due to the fact it nearly killed me. I don’t want to sound tight, but Zach had three colas, and ended up eating everything – including the cold soup. And he didn’t even ask if I wanted pudding. It’s the one bit I was looking forward to as it wouldn’t be fishy. Danny knows I like pudding best, and I’d sell my soul for double-chocolate fudge cake.
Zach works out the amount down to the nearest penny, and tells me how much I owe.
“I’m really sorry, but I haven’t got that much with me,” I say, throwing my tenner down onto the table. It’s still more than my meal cost.
Zach counts out some cash, doesn’t leave a tip, and we stand up to go.
“Um, are you going to walk me home?” I say nervously. I’m expressly forbidden from walking around at night on my own so I’ll have to call my parents to come and get me if Zach’s not coming back with me, which will please Dad no end.
“All right,” Zach says. “I have to go past your road to get home anyway.”
As we start walking, I peep out of the corner of my eye at Zach. He’s so much better looking than anyone I’ve ever known in real life before. Is the lack of interesting conversation such a big deal? So he’s obsessed with football. Big whoop. Because how many girls are lucky enough to have someone this gorgeous be interested in them?
Zach sees me peeking at him, and as our fingers brush together, he grabs my hand with his.
He’s holding my hand.
He’s holding my hand!
All too soon, we’re pushing open my garden gate and arriving at the front door.
Now what happens? What if Zach wants to kiss me? What if he doesn’t? Oh, I’m just so rubbish at all of this.
I grab my keys out of my bag and jangle them apprehensively.
Zach ducks his head slightly to check his reflection in the porch window. He tweaks a few strands of hair, and then turns to me. “Right then, I’m going to head off.”
“Sure. Encountering my family once in an evening is usually more than enough for most people,” I say.
“Yeah, too right,” Zach says.
We stand in an awkward silence.
“So…” I say, meaningfully.
We stare at each other for a few moments, then, without any warning, Zach lunges forwards and lands a smacker hard on my lips.
Flipping heck! He certainly doesn’t mess around.
Relax, Suzy. Cherish this moment. It’s your first kiss with a boy who isn’t Danny.
Hmmm, it’s certainly different to what I’m used to. For starters, Zach tastes a bit fishy. And I’m not sure I like that nippy thing he’s doing with his teeth to my bottom lip. Not to mention he’s a bit… well… licky. Kind of like being lapped by a dog.
But maybe this is how other people kiss. I wouldn’t really know.
I do like the way Zach’s running his hands up and down my back though, bringing them to rest on the top of my bum. I’ll just concentrate on that.
We kiss until Zach pulls away, making a big squelchy noise.
“See you,” he says, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He vaults over our garden gate and swaggers away.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
“Good morning, Puttocks,” Millie says cheerily, as she walks into the kitchen the next morning. “Whatcha up to?”
“Table plan,” I explain, picking up my bowl of cereal from the work surface.
Mum, Amber and Mark are all sitting at the kitchen table, staring intently at the large piece of paper laid out in front of them. Every so often they move around Harry’s Lego Minifigures, which each have a guest’s name stuck on them.
“Can’t Aunt Lou sit with Mark’s uncle and aunt?” Mum asks, moving the Poison Ivy Minifigure next to a cowboy and a pirate.
“She’d be better off at a table by herself, if you ask me,” I mutter, rolling my eyes at Millie. “Ideally in different room to the rest of us. This is what, day five of this process now? You’ve still not managed to agree on who should sit where.”
“Well, it’s a very tricky business,” Mum says. “So many family politics to take into account. So many people won’t get on. Now, what about putting Clara there with Rose?”
“No, Mum, that’s not going to work,” Amber says. “They don’t speak since the incident with the Christmas pudding, remember?”
“What about putting Clara over here, then, with Jenny,” Mark offers.
“Mark!” Amber shouts crossly, slapping her hand down on the table and sending all the Minifigures flying. “You know that’s not going to work. You know. You suggested it yesterday and we had to go through the whole history of how at Cousin Sara’s wedding they attacked each other with their cake forks. You just don’t listen, do you? Sometimes I feel like you don’t care about this wedding at all!”
And with that, Amber storms out of the room. Mark just stares after her, blinking in astonishment.
“Um, I’d better go and make sure she’s all right,” he says awkwardly.
“Wedding jitters, Mark, that’s all it is,” Mum says, patting him reassuringly on the shoulder. “Happens to the best of us. She’ll be fine.”
“See what I have to put up with?” I say to Millie, as I wash up my bowl at the sink. “Wedding insanity from morning until night.”
“Yeah, seems fun,” Millie says, wrinkling up her nose. “Are you ready to go?”
“Yep, I’ll just grab my coat.”
As we leave, we trip over a pile of wedding catalogues stacked by the gate. Over the last few months, Mum and Amber have signed up for every vaguely wedding-related magazine in the world. We average about twelve a day, which must weigh a ton to lug around our neighbourhood. Poor Mr Postie now visibly snarls whenever he sees any of us.
“So, how was the date then?” Millie says, as we leave the cul-de-sac.
“Yeah, good,” I say evasively.
All night long, I dreamed about the fish bone hitting Zach in the face. Over and over and over again. I want to curl up and die every time I remember.
But I think Zach forgave me. After all, he kissed me, didn’t he?
“Come on, I need more than that,” Millie says.
“What do you want to know?” I ask. I’ve been dreading Millie’s many, many questions.
“Everything,” Millie says. “Like, where did you go?”
“That café just off Miller Street,” I reply.
“Which one? Not that place that does fish in the evenings? He wasn’t daft enough to take you there, was he?”
“That’s where we went.”
“Seriously?” Millie starts laughing. “No way. He took you, a girl who won’t even have a goldfish in her bedroom, to a fish restaurant?”
“Actually it was great,” I snap.
“Are you sure?” Millie says dubiously.
“Yes!”
“Well, exactly what was so great about it?” Millie says, as we cross the road. “Come on, Suzy, I know I said last night I thought this was weird, talking to you about someone other than Danny, but I’m trying here. T
ell me all about it.”
“Um, okay, well, Zach didn’t stop complimenting me all night,” I fib, figuring it’s time to get creative. “He told me how much he liked my outfit, and how pretty he thought I was. Danny never used to say anything like that.”
“And did you, y’know, kiss?”
“Mmmm,” I reply dreamily, though the kissing wasn’t exactly what you’d call dreamy.
“You did? So soon? I didn’t think you would have. Isn’t that a bit quick?” Millie sounds gutted.
“It was dead romantic. He walked me home and kissed me at my front door under the stars…” Stars, street lamps, same difference.
“Is he a good kisser?” Millie asks.
“What do you expect from someone that fit?” I reply, dodging the question.
“Wow.” Millie still seems to be grimacing slightly, but manages to compose herself. “So. What was the kiss like, then?”
“Um…”
“Oh, look, there’s Miss Pepper. Hi, Miss Pepper,” Millie calls over the road, where Miss Pepper and Pansy are walking.
Miss Pepper picks up Pansy protectively and scowls. “Where’s that vile beast of yours?” she says. “Got loose again, I expect.”
“Er, no, he’s at home with my dad,” Millie replies. “And he’s not a vile beast, he’s a sweetheart. He’s just enthusiastic, that’s all.”
“Wild and out of control, I think you mean,” Miss Pepper sniffs. “You’d better keep him away from my Pansy in the future, otherwise I’m contacting the council.”
“Wow. Talk about bitter,” Millie says, as Miss Pepper stalks off. “Just because Murphy jumped her fence again. It’s not like he actually hurt Pansy, he just wants to be friends… Anyway, where were we? Ah yes. The kiss.”
“It was fine,” I say. “Nice. You know.”
“Suze, are you sure everything was all right?” Millie says suspiciously, as we wait for the traffic lights to change. “You can tell me, you know.”
“I know, but there’s nothing to tell. It was great, what more do you want?” I say, willing Millie to believe me. I frown in concentration, trying to transplant positive thoughts into her head. You will tell Danny it was all fab. You will tell Danny it was all fab…
Me Suzy P Page 14