Over in the corner, Murphy lets out a whimper, then stands up and stretches.
“Don’t let him near me,” I screech, backing away. “If he trashes this dress, Mum and Amber will kill me. They’ll think I did it on purpose. I knew you should have left him outside.”
Murphy’s tail wags furiously at the sound of my high-pitched voice and the homework on my desk goes flying.
“Murphy, gorgeous boy, sit, sit,” Millie says, running over and trying to calm the dog. Eventually Murphy’s persuaded to lie back down, using my beanbag as a headrest. Urgh. He’s dribbling all over it.
“I still don’t know why you had to bring him,” I grumble.
“I couldn’t leave the poor thing out on the street, could I?” Millie says. “And Mum refused to be in the house with him on her own. I took a huge risk bringing him by myself, anything could have happened to me.”
“Yeah, well, thanks and all, but I’m not sure bringing him here, on Amber’s wedding day when there are outfits and flowers and all kinds of things he could trash, was a great idea.”
“He’s been fine,” Millie says, defensively. “And we’ll go in a minute. Besides, you’re the one that wanted me to come over.”
“Because I needed moral support! Not some crazy great hound leaping all over me.”
Millie rolls her eyes. “He’s not leaped anywhere near you. Stop being so over-dramatic. Now what else have you got left to do to finish getting ready?”
“Um… Ooh, jewellery,” I say, turning back to my dressing table and opening a couple of small boxes. I put in my earrings, and then fiddle with the clasp of my necklace, eventually getting it fastened round my neck.
“Can you do up my bracelet?” I ask, waggling my wrist at Millie.
“Sure.” Millie peers closely at the silver bracelet. “Um, are these tiny dog bones?”
“Sadly, yes. In keeping with the doggy theme.” I sigh. “The necklace and earrings match, see? Amber was originally planning on making my accessories out of actual dog biscuits. Thank God Mum found these on eBay before she got started.”
Millie snorts with laughter. “What’s with all the dog stuff?”
“Chihuahuas are part of the theme. Blame the influence of Conni G. She’s totally obsessed with chihuahuas at the moment,” I say, then point to the shoes I’m wearing. “These nearly had chihuahua stickers on each toe.”
Millie bites her lip, trying to stop laughing. “Oh, Suze… no.”
“And to make things worse, Mark told me last night that he’s bought a chihuahua puppy and I have to take it down the aisle on a lead as a surprise for Amber. This whole day is going to be one long ritual of humiliation. If one more stupid suggestion is made by Mum, Ambypamby or Markymoo, I’m actually going to shoot myself.”
“Poor Suze,” Millie sympathises, casually wafting her mobile around.
“What are you doing?” I ask suspiciously.
“Nothing,” Millie says, a picture of innocence. “Just trying to get some reception.”
But when I hear a click, I realise exactly what’s going on. “You cow, you’re taking pictures, aren’t you?”
“No!” Millie squeals, as I dive to wrestle the phone from her.
“You’d better delete those,” I order.
“Okay, okay,” Millie says, smiling as she taps away at a few buttons. “They’re gone, see? I’m sorry, but you have to admit this is the teensiest bit funny. Please, please let me come to the church to get a squiz at all of you together. I’m dying to see Amber.”
“Don’t you dare,” I threaten. “If I see even a glimpse of you lurking I’ll have you assassinated. Especially if you bring your camera along.”
“You know I’m only messing. Don’t stress it, Suze. You’re going to have a fabby day,” Millie says, hunting around in her bag and triumphantly extracting a packet of jelly babies.
Ugh. More jelly babies. Why didn’t she bring something useful, like chocolate?
“I won’t, Millie.”
“You will. How can you not?” Millie asks. “People always have fun at weddings.”
“I’m going to be surrounded by my family all day,” I point out. “Where’s the fun in that? And anyway, everyone’s far too happy.”
“Sweet?” Millie offers.
“Would you stop offering me those? Get it in your head. I. Don’t. Like. Jelly babies.”
Millie looks startled as she throws a jelly baby over to Murphy. “Seriously? You’re winding me up. Everybody loves jelly babies.”
“Not me. The idea of eating tiny babies made out of sugar freaks me out.” I massage my forehead, feeling seriously stressed. “Oooh, everything’s going to be a disaster.”
“Oh, stop it,” Millie says. “So your clothes are a bit dodge and your family’s a bit crazy. You’ll still have a laugh.”
“I won’t. Everyone will be going on all day about how wonderful it is to be in love and I don’t… I haven’t…” My voice falters.
All of a sudden it’s got too much. I can’t spend the whole day being reminded of how amazing relationships are when I chucked mine away.
“Suzy, what’s wrong? You look like you’re about to cry.”
I blink rapidly, trying to stop my eyes watering. Come on, pull it together, Puttock.
“Hey, what’s up? What were you going to say?” Millie sounds concerned.
“Nothing.”
“You’re so lying. Don’t make me tickle your feet to get the truth.”
A single tear spills down my cheek, dripping onto my chest before soaking into a fabric flower.
“I’m guessing this is about more than your dress?” Millie leads me gently over to the bed. “Is this about Zach? Are you still upset about what he did to you?”
“No,” I sniff.
“Well, what then? It can’t be about Danny…”
I wince and take a deep, shuddery breath.
“Suzy?”
There’s no way I can meet Millie’s eyes.
“Oh. My. God,” Millie says. “It is about Danny. Do you still like him?”
“I screwed up, didn’t I?” I say, tears starting to pour down my cheeks for the umpteenth time this week.
“I can’t believe you still like Danny,” Millie says in disbelief.
“Suzy?” Amber sticks her head around the open door, her hair in enormous rollers. Oh great, how much of the conversation has she heard? Hopefully none, although Millie isn’t exactly known for her quiet voice. But even if Amber has heard anything, it’s guaranteed she’ll have forgotten it in seconds. Her head will be far too preoccupied with wedding stuff today.
“Hi, Ambs,” I say, swiping my tears away quickly and forcing a smile.
“Just came to say the hair and make-up people are ready for you,” Amber says, then squeals with terror when she sees Murphy. “Oh God, why’s that mad dog here? Don’t let him near me. I’m going back downstairs.”
As she shuts the door behind her, Millie’s face is still absolutely stunned.
“You’re not allowed to say anything, not to anyone,” I beg. “Promise me, Millie, promise you’re not going to say anything. Especially not to Jamie. I don’t want Danny to find out.”
There’s a long pause.
“Promise!”
“All right, all right, I promise,” Millie says.
“Please, Mills, I really mean it.”
“So do I,” Millie says, biting the head off another jelly baby. “Cross my heart and hope to die. I won’t breathe a word. I can be discreet when I want to. I’ve never told anyone that Jamie still slept with his teddy until last year. Oh. Oops.”
“So, um, has Danny said anything about me lately?” I ask, deciding to ignore Millie’s revelation.
“To be honest, I really haven’t seen him that much,” Millie says. She reaches over to the bedside cabinet and passes me a tissue. “We were supposed to meet up this afternoon but he blew Jamie and me off yet again because Jade wanted to go out with her mates.”
“That’s doesn’t sound like Danny.”
“Yeah, I know. But he told Jamie that Jade strops whenever he tries to get out of stuff, so it’s easier just to do what she wants.”
“He never used to be that willing to do things for me.” I pull the tissue into tiny pieces, rolling it into balls and dropping it onto the carpet round my feet. Murphy creeps forwards and starts chomping them enthusiastically.
“Are you crazy? Of course he did,” Millie says. She stares at me, and then it’s like a dam has burst. She just can’t stop herself. “You guys were ten billion times better together than they are. He was always doing nice things for you, like buying your favourite ice cream whenever he came over to watch a movie. And he always remembered your birthday, unlike Jamie, who always forgets mine. Plus he got you presents you wanted, like that crazily expensive curl-defining lotion. Last Christmas Jamie gave me the soundtrack to Kung Fu Madness.”
I guess I’d forgotten most of that.
“But he always wanted to stay in and watch Star Wars,” I protest.
“So? He’s a boy, Suze. That’s what they do.”
“Yeah, but…” I think hard. There’s got to be something else. There was lots of stuff I found annoying about Danny. Wasn’t there?
“He never showed me any affection,” I say.
“That doesn’t mean he didn’t care,” Millie says gently.
“Easy for you to say. Jamie’s always all over you,” I tell her.
Millie bites her lip. “But Danny’s just a lot shyer than Jamie and not great at the emotional stuff. He’s been a bit messed up since his parent’s divorce. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel it, though.”
“I suppose. But it’s not like any of this matters anyway, does it? He’s Jade’s boyfriend now.”
Millie appears to be thinking hard about what she wants to say. She fondles Murphy’s ears distractedly. When she eventually speaks, her voice is guarded. “From the little I’ve seen of Danny lately, I’m not sure he’s that happy.”
My head snaps up. “What do you mean?”
Millie frowns slightly. “I don’t know. Just something about the way he and Jade are together. Jade’s dead bossy and she keeps trying to turn him into something he’s not. She might be the prettiest girl in our year—”
I flinch.
“Sorry,” Millie says, “but let me finish. I was going to say, she may be pretty, but she’s not very nice. And I’m not sure how much longer Danny’s going to put up with it.”
“Do you think he’s going to dump her?” I ask, trying not to sound too hopeful.
“I don’t know, that’s only the impression I’ve got,” Millie hastily replies. “I wouldn’t want you to get the wrong idea or anything.”
As I wiggle uncomfortably, one of my pillows falls off the bed and lands next to Murphy. The hackles on his neck rise as he growls at it, then starts barking furiously.
“Murphy!” Millie says in alarm. “Stop it, it’s a pillow, you silly dog. Behave!”
But Murphy’s not listening. He’s barking away loudly, circling the pillow with a wild glint in his eye, and then he pounces, grabbing it in his jaws and shaking it furiously in the air.
“Millie, stop him!”
“Um, I think I’d better go now,” Millie says hastily, grabbing Murphy by the collar. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow, Suze, but text me later, yeah? Have a good day.”
She blows me a kiss, yanks Murphy out of the room, and then she’s gone.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
A few short hours later and I’m standing outside the church, lost in a sea of pastel colours and giant hats as we wait for Amber and Dad. I came over in the car a bit ago with Mum and Harry, and have been trying to avoid Mark’s nephew, Toby, ever since. The kid’s eight, but seems to have taken a bit of a shine to me. Every time I turn around, he’s standing behind me, smiling like a nutter. Like I don’t have enough to worry about. After we arrived, Mum ran off like a crazy thing to greet everyone, so didn’t spot Harry fiddling with her newly acquired fart machine.
“Suzy, over here.” Mark waves from the church entrance. He’s wearing a grey, not pink, suit (luckily for him Amber couldn’t find a pink one that didn’t make him look like a kid’s entertainer), with a baby pink shirt and fuchsia tie, and has a giant pink gerbera as his buttonhole. Several disgusted-looking ushers are milling around nearby wearing similar outfits.
I can’t believe Amber got these men to wear such girly clothes. My sister really is something else. But at least it’s not just me looking ridiculous.
“Hi, Mark,” I say, carefully negotiating my way over the damp grass. My heels keep sinking and I don’t want to fall on my face in the mud. Which, given my track record, is a very real possibility.
“Here’s the present for Amber,” Mark says, tugging a tiny chihuahua in a pink dress out from behind his legs. It sits, shivering, by his feet. Ugh. I’m not a big fan of small dogs. Those bulgy eyes are just too freaky.
“Can you look after him until Amber arrives?” Mark asks. “She’s going to be so excited when she sees him. You don’t mind walking him down the aisle, do you? It’s got a pink dress on, so it looks just like you.”
“Um, sure.” I force a smile and decide to ignore the unintended insult. I must be nice. This is Mark’s wedding day too.
“Not long now,” Mark says, checking his watch. “I’d best go inside. Don’t want to see Ambypamby before she arrives.”
Mark rounds up his groomsmen and I walk over to the road to wait for the limo.
And I wait. And wait. And wait some more.
After twenty minutes, everyone’s getting restless. Inside the church, I can hear the vicar keeping the congregation occupied by leading a game of Simon Says.
“Simon says, wave your hands and praise God!”
Mum’s almost gone into orbit with worry, and Mark’s running in and out of the church, stressing about Amber not coming. I have to admit, the thought has crossed my mind. Dad’s mobile is switched off, and there’s no answer at the house.
Surely Amber wouldn’t have changed her mind, would she? She was so hyped earlier and there wasn’t a trace of wedding wobbles.
Another ten minutes pass, then, to everyone’s great relief, a white limo finally pulls up at the church. Well, I say white, but you can hardly tell, because it’s covered in mud. The front bumper’s crumpled and half hanging off. What the flippin’ heck’s happened? It didn’t look like that earlier.
As Amber scrambles out of the car, she’s pouting and I think she’s been crying. But even though her eyes are red, she’s beautiful. I’m genuinely blown away.
Yes, admittedly, her dress is big enough to double as a marquee, but somehow she manages to carry it off. Her hair is loose and gently curled around her face, which is partly obscured by a full-length veil, and her tiara’s twinkling prettily. She’s achieved the perfect princess look that she’s always dreamed of.
When I go over to greet them, Dad’s practically squaring up to the limo driver.
“What were you thinking, going down there? My daughter’s half an hour late for her wedding and she’s devastated.”
“I didn’t know the car’d get stuck, did I?” the driver retorts.
“The limo got stuck?” I ask.
“Don’t ask,” Dad mutters darkly. There’s a twig sticking out at a strange angle from his collar. “This idiot thought taking a car this size down tiny country lanes was a good idea. We had to find a farmer to tow us out of a ditch with his tractor. Bloody sat nav.”
“I just want to get married,” Amber says desperately. “Is Mark still here? And everyone else? Please tell me nobody’s left.”
“It’s all fine, Amber,” I say reassuringly. “Everyone’s still here.”
“But what about my timings?” Amber wails. “Now there won’t be enough time for the photos and it was all supposed to be perfect and I feel like it’s all ruined.”
Amber’s bottom lip wobbles furiously and then she catches sig
ht of the dog by my feet. Her eyes open wide in delight.
“Is that for me?” Amber screams at the top of her voice. The chihuahua practically leaps into the air with fright. “Oh my God, I love her. She’s just too cute.”
Amber’s all smiles as the limo trauma’s forgotten in an instant.
“It’s from Mark,” I explain. “He asked me to give it to you.”
“I love the dog, Markymoo,” Amber shouts. “Thank you soooo much.”
Mark’s voice echoes out of the church. “You’re welcome, Ambypamby. Now hurry up and get in here so I can marry you.”
“Baby, baby, come to Mummy,” Amber says, grabbing the tiny dog and hugging it tightly to her chest. The chihuahua quivers and then starts to chew on her veil.
“I’m going to call her Crystal Fairybelle,” Amber says.
“Um, I think it’s a boy,” I say.
“Oh.” Amber looks downcast for a moment, then her face brightens. “Never mind, I’m going to call him Crystal Fairybelle anyway.”
It must be awesome to live in Amber’s world. Problems disappear so easily.
“Is everyone ready?” the vicar calls from the church porch. “Poor Mark has been waiting long enough. Let’s make you Mrs Mycock, Amber.”
Amber reluctantly surrenders Crystal Fairybelle and I take hold of the lead as we head towards the church doors. The vicar scuttles inside, and gives the nod to the organist. The congregation rises to their feet and everyone turns around for a gawp at the bride.
As the opening bars of ‘The Bridal March’ echo from the organ, Dad pats Amber’s hand and smiles proudly. Unless I’m very much mistaken, he’s trying to hold back tears. They walk slowly down the aisle, although there’s so much material surrounding Amber, Dad has to follow slightly behind.
I take a deep breath, and check on Crystal Fairybelle, who’s chewing at my shoe strap. Giving him a gentle tug, we follow my sister. Amongst the congregation I spot Toby, who winks at me.
We’re only about halfway to the altar when I hear muffled giggling. Everyone’s pointing and laughing in my direction.
Oh no, what have I done now? Is my skirt stuck in my knickers or something?
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