“I insist!” he said firmly. “Stop this nonsense right now, girl. Let me get my horse. You can ride with me. Don’t you force me to make you.”
Sighing, Audrey stopped. A few more minutes with White Star were a few more minutes of both torture and delight. The delight made her decision for her. “All right.”
“Smart woman. Wait right here.”
Audrey stood in the broad path leading to the barn, trying not to be conspicuous with her tear-stained cheeks and her battered carpetbag. She knew she had hay sticking to her dress all over. No one was going to be fooled about what she’d been doing and why she was being kicked out. After a few minutes, White Star walked his horse over to her. He tied her carpetbag to the back of the saddle and mounted, reaching down to pull her up with him. He sat her in front of him, her legs on one side, hip against the pommel. It wasn’t comfortable until he wrapped his arms around her and took the reins.
“Sit tight,” he said softly in her ear.
All she could do was nod.
Audrey tried to take simple joy out of being so close to the man—the make-believe man—she had come to adore, but she knew it would be over soon. She had enough money to get something small to eat and that was all. She hadn’t eaten since yesterday, she realized.
Snuggling up against White Star was peaceful and warm. She wished she could cuddle with him like this for a night, for a lifetime of nights. Instead, she was heading back to the twenty-second century, to her dull job that paid little, and challenged her less. Her tiny apartment, lonely and cramped was at least hers, but that was cold comfort.
Still, it was time to be a big girl and go back to where she belonged. It was time to end the charade and wake up to reality.
Silent tears wet White Star’s shirt, but neither found the words to make it right.
Chapter 10
Audrey was having second thoughts about taking White Star’s money as she walked into the small hotel room at Miss Patty’s. But, she wasn’t planning on spending much more time in the RAVE, and even taking his money wouldn’t have done more than prolong the agony of being separated from him. Audrey wondered how long it was going to take her to get over the nightmare that had been her dream. Oh sure, some parts had been fun, but a lot had been heart-rending.
The hotel room was clean, the appointments pleasant. At least it was something, even though it left her broke. All she had to do now was wait. She lay down on the bed, trying not to feel as morose as she did. Wondering when it would happen, when it would all dissolve and put her back on the cruise ship. She closed her eyes.
* * *
There was a beeping noise—rhythmic and high-pitched. Beep, pause, beep. It didn’t sound like anything she’d heard in quite some time. She wondered if it was a clock. Then she opened her eyes.
It was some sort of machine near the tank she had occupied until so recently. Sighing, she tried to get her bearings. She was back on the cruise ship, in the plush room where she had slept in the tank through her RAVE. Now, she was lying in a comfortable bed, free of the gel and feeling like she’d been rejuvenated. That was good, at least. If she couldn’t have a perfect RAVE, she had to take what she’d been given and be happy with it.
Sorting through the memories of the days past, she realized that the part she remembered the most, the part brought forward into her real life, was her memory of White Star. Her body tingled as she thought of him. A tear ran down the side of her face. It had been so real.
A nurse came in and smiled. “How are you feeling, hon?”
“I’m okay. A little disoriented.”
“That will pass.” She fussed with the electromagnetic strip on Audrey’s wrist. “We’ll get you all fixed up in no time and you can go to the nightly party.”
Oh, right. The party. Audrey didn’t feel like celebrating, or sharing RAVE stories with the other dreamers. She wanted to curl up in a ball and be miserable.
A surge of anger raced from her belly to her forehead, and she frowned. Why had Romantek given her such a rough time, with so many things going wrong until she was finally so morose and broke that she wanted it all to end? Was it because she hadn’t paid for the RAVE? She had won the contest fair and square, and Big Nutz had paid. So someone had put their money in. Even a bargain RAVE ought to be the “every joyful thing you can imagine “ just like the brochure said. There was no excuse for all the troubles Audrey had gone through.
Of course, some of those troubles were of her doing. She had started the saloon fight. She had stolen the pistol that got her fired. She had raced off in a buggy without thinking it through first. And, certainly, she had spent all her money, probably unwisely. Beating the carpets without gloves had been a stupid move, too. Shooting at that young man had been reckless, to say the least.
And she had fallen in love with a figment of her imagination—White Star. That much had fulfilled her fondest desire for the RAVE, to have a mad, passionate affair with a hunky guy. She’d never expected to be so attached to him, though. That had also been her fault. She had lost her objectivity, and the very real sensations during the RAVE had fooled her.
Thinking about it that way made Romantek’s part in the worse segments of her dream seem a lot less annoying.
But she missed White Star. She even missed the spankings. There was no denying that they excited her, even while they hurt. It was an experience she’d never forget. Audrey wondered if she could take those episodes and apply them to her real life. Maybe she would meet some wonderful man who could spank her, too. But she would never, ever pick up a gun…out of a museum. Because that’s where guns were in the twenty-second century.
There were a lot of lessons she’d learned, but one of the big ones was that dreams were not real. The irony of finally finding a guy who fulfilled her deepest needs in a dream was not lost on her. It seemed so unfair. She was going to try not to be bitter about it. Life still had to go on. The memories would have to sustain her until they faded.
* * *
Back in her cabin on the ship, Audrey looked around at the plush appointments, trying to memorize every detail. Although she had planned on writing a book about her RAVE, she didn’t think that would be such a good idea after all. Why admit that you were inept at playing a dreaming game? It would be nothing short of embarrassing.
Even so, curiosity got the better of her. She wondered if others had similar experiences in their RAVEs. Were the memories all good ones, or was there a thread of tension and mishaps in them, too? She had read many of the books others had written about their experiences, and they had been glowing. It was why she had been so excited about going. Maybe the less successful RAVEs didn’t get written about or they were suppressed. Not too many people would want to share their foibles with others. Not in a world where competence was prized and where you were supposed to be grateful for everything you got. Treats weren’t commonplace, and it might seem churlish of Audrey to complain.
Still, she wanted to know if she was the only one, so she dressed in her little black cocktail dress and ventured down the long hallway and into the elevator to the main deck ballroom. As before, there were a lot of glittering people there. Folks were chatting animatedly and drinking wine and cocktails. The dinner bell hadn’t rung yet.
Audrey gave tight smiles to several people as she passed to get to the bar. Something potent seemed in order, so she ordered a Ninja. If that didn’t lighten her mood, nothing would. This was her last night of vacation, she intended to make the most of it. Or try.
Mingling didn’t sit well with her, however. It seemed like everyone was so excited. The people yet to dream had wild ideas about how their RAVEs would go, and although it was tempting, Audrey didn’t think it would be fair to disabuse them of that notion and tell them it was harder than they expected. The people who’d already dreamed were thrilled and eager to talk about their experiences. The few she talked to had wonderful adventures to remember. It was so depressing to realize over and over again that she’d fallen in love with
a dream man. It seemed so foolish, she’d never admit it to another soul, and could barely admit it to herself. Audrey decided to skip the dinner and slink her way back up to her room.
She finished her drink and a server whisked away the glass. It was time to go home.
As she was turning to exit, something prickled the back of her head. Something like the feeling when you knew someone was staring at you.
Turning, she found out who it was. There, across the room and coming closer was White Star. Only he was wearing a dark suit of the latest cut, and a silk shirt with colorful, embroidered front plackets and collar points. His hair was shorter, black, and he had some gray at the temples. Same strong cheekbones, gorgeous features, and bronzed complexion. Even in reality, he was a Native American.
Audrey’s heart stopped beating, her breath halted. A surge of excitement mingled with a depression so deep she felt smothered by it. This couldn’t really be White Star. Even if it was, he couldn’t be her White Star. His voice wouldn’t be low and scratchy. He wouldn’t have that big, bold personality that she had come to love and respect. This man would be less. He had to be a lesser person. If not, if he was the White Star she knew, then even the comfort of him occasionally appearing in her normal dreams was lost. She couldn’t pine after a real man, not and keep her sanity, and anyone here on the cruise ship was bound to be way beyond her social status. Any relationship with a real White Star would be a pipe dream of the disastrous kind. She needed to get away before her fantasy broke apart into tiny little pieces and drove her insane. Still, she stood there, watching him come toward her, her mind a jumble of contradictory thoughts.
Finally, he was upon her. Still a bit dazed, Audrey looked at him, unable to speak as he stood there staring at her with an enigmatic, assessing look on his face. His dark eyes pierced her and Audrey felt conspicuous. She squirmed, but kept her eyes trained on him. She couldn’t draw her gaze away, even had she tried.
Slowly, carefully, she reached out. His hand met hers halfway and he slipped his fingers between hers, his grip firm. “Audrey…”
Oh, God. It was his voice, his lovely, low, scratchy voice! And the look in his dark eyes was the same one she knew, thoughtful, intelligent, capable.
“White Star? Is that really you?” His touch was warm on her cold fingers, his gaze had never left hers.
He nodded. “That’s who you know me as. My name’s Owen White.”
“Oh,” she said dully, unable to think. “Owen.”
“Yes, that’s right. Are you okay?”
She nodded. “You’re not talking like White Star.”
“No, I followed the rules of the game—the rules they gave me when I signed up. Liked the accent, did you?”
Once again she nodded. For some reason she couldn’t allow herself to experience the joy of finding him in real life. It was too scary. There was too much at stake—like her pride, her mental health, the rest of her normal, boring, but reliable life.
“You disappeared so suddenly, Audrey. I thought maybe you were…” He paused and shrugged.
“What?”
“A person with bad intentions. But at the same time, I wanted you to be exactly what you were in my dream. I hoped.”
“I can’t believe you’re real.” Audrey’s mind boggled.
“All I can say is, yes, I’m real.” He touched her face gently, but didn’t linger. “I know you,” he said. “I think I know you, at least. I, uh… I had one of my people look you up when I awoke. I had to know where I could find you. I needed to see you again.”
She dropped her gaze. White Star—Owen—must now know that she lived in a suburb, working at a low-paying job that a bot could easily do. In other words, he must know what a nobody she was, and how much of an imposter she was among these glittering travelers. “I don’t understand. We had something going, but it was supposed to be a dream. I did things, said things, that I would never have said had I known you were real. I was…acting out. That Audrey isn’t me.”
Once again, he touched her face, tilting her chin up until her gaze met his. She felt her cheeks heat at his assessing stare. “I have no regrets,” he said calmly. “And I don’t want you to regret anything about our relationship either.” The corners of Owen’s lips tilted up as though he was making a joke about himself. “I had to look you up, to be sure about you. Reporters hound me, Audrey. I have a prominent career, which has its good and bad points.”
“You thought I was sent to your RAVE to tell on you?”
“I thought it was a possibility that you were a reporter or vid producer. I’m pleased that it wasn’t the case.”
He was so like White Star, with that look of determination on his face, and the gleam of affection in his eyes. But this was someone she didn’t know. He couldn’t possibly be the man she had fallen in love with, even if somehow he had been in her dream. That was not real. Reality was a lot more complicated, and even knowing that she wasn’t a dream Audrey in his RAVE, he still hadn’t learned to trust her there. That lack of trust had carried through to real life. It was insulting. “I thought you knew me well enough in the dream to realize I wasn’t there to harm you. Was I so wrong? How could you still suspect me?”
He had the grace to look embarrassed. “Chalk it up to habit, love. I’ve been burned in the past. It wasn’t that I was still suspicious, but I was still cautious. Do you see the difference? As some politician once said, ‘Trust, but verify.’ Can you try to understand? Please?”
She could. After all, he couldn’t know absolutely and positively that she wasn’t there to do him harm. Not until he checked and saw her for what she really was. That was a two-edged sword. He had found out who she was in reality, which was a pretty nondescript person. But he had also affirmed that she was no one to be threatened by. “I wish I’d known you were real.”
“It’s just as well you didn’t.”
She bit her lip. “Maybe.”
Owen slid his hands down her shoulders and further down her bare arms to her hands, taking them firmly in his own. His expression was so serious. “Audrey, I don’t want us to part. Please come to Switzerland with me. Let’s explore what we found a little more.”
A panic so startling and sharp spiked her heart like a thousand painful pins. She would be so out of her element. Audrey was bound to screw it up totally. It seemed so much better to take her fond memories and hold them tight for as long as she could. To go with Owen, she would have to give up her job—Mr. Finster would never allow for a long leave of absence. If she gave up her job and things with Owen didn’t turn into something abiding, she would be out of her apartment, unemployed and without resources. She couldn’t move back in with her father, he lived in a retirement village. Her brother was in China in a small convenience flat. That wasn’t a viable fallback plan either.
Basically, Audrey didn’t dare take the risk. No matter what her heart was telling her, it was too dangerous. Owen White was too dangerous.
“I can’t,” she said, simply.
“But—”
Audrey put a restraining finger over his lips. “Don’t.”
He kissed the tip of her finger and lowered her hand. “I won’t take no for an answer.”
“You’ll have to.” Sadness brought tears to her eyes and she turned away. “I have a life. It’s not much of one, but it’s what I have. I can’t just pop over to Switzerland with you. There’s too much at stake. Can’t we enjoy the memories and leave it at that?”
“No, that’s not good enough.”
A sniffle was her answer.
Owen turned her around and thumbed a tear off her cheek. “Honey, give me a chance.”
“I can’t.” The pain was too much. “I have to go, Whi—Owen. Please let me go.”
He released her gently, slowly. “You’re making a mistake, Audrey. Things don’t have to end this way.”
“Goodbye.” Audrey ran away as though flames were licking at her heels. She wished she had never heard of Big Nutz, Romantek, or White St
ar Smith. Now things were all ruined! Life would never be the same again. The fond memories of their time together in the RAVE were shadowed by the reality that she had to walk away from him. He asked too much of her. He asked too much.
* * *
Two days later, Mr. Finster looked up from his desk as Audrey walked into his office. He straightened the vid pic of his wife and children on his desk, and put down the tablet he had been reading. There was a long pause during which he stared at her, his expression angry and cold. After the pause, he tapped on the tablet. “Can you explain this?”
Explain what? Had she made an error in a calculation? What could be on his tablet that was so wrong? “I’m sorry, sir. I don’t know what you mean.”
He snorted. Always a bad sign. It meant something really scathing would follow—some lecture on the gods and personal responsibility and clean living. “Let me read something to you.” He cleared his throat. “White’s love interest during his Romantek vacation was the non-descript real person, Audrey Beacon, not one of the usual supermodels the public has seen him with over the last ten years. Their sizzling affair began almost immediately, and this reporter discovered that it wasn’t all chocolates and roses. White and Beacon engaged in some kinky goings-on that would make the average reader shocked and upset. Witnesses actually saw Mr. White sharply spanking Miss Beacon’s bare rump, and later, they had a more intimate encounter.”
Finster looked up, still frowning. “I thought you were a more circumspect young woman, Audrey. Seeing your name splashed all over the news—in gossip columns, no less—truly disappoints me.” He put the pad down and glared at her. “Did this really happen?”
Miserable, she nodded. “But, sir, it was supposed to be a dream. I didn’t know he would be there. I don’t know how anyone found out about our…relationship. That wasn’t supposed to happen. Romantek adventures are supposed to be confidential!”
“I don’t like secrets. Clandestine meetings suggest that you knew what you were doing was wrong.”
The Winner (Romantek) Page 12