by Viola Rivard
Chapter 32
Sarah felt a note of disappointment when she peered into Meadow’s room. All of the wolves, Alder included, were already asleep. She sighed, about to walk away, when one blue eye cracked open. The sleek white-gold wolf raised his head to blink at Sarah.
Smiling, she beckoned him with a small wave of her hand. Alder let out a long, quiet yawn before standing. Carefully stepping over Clover, he made his way to the door, shifting to stand in front of her in all his naked, muscular glory.
“Hey,” she whispered, trying not to blush. “I’m sorry to wake you.”
“It’s all right,” he said, placing a hand on her shoulder. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I was just going to take a walk outside, and I wanted to let someone know.”
Sarah hadn’t planned on running her itinerary by Alder. It wasn’t like she was a prisoner in the den. Still, she recognized that it would be irresponsible to leave without telling anyone.
“Why can’t you just take a walk in the den?” Alder asked, leaning in the doorway.
“I haven’t left the den in days. I think I’m starting to go a little bonkers.”
He raised a brow. “Bonkers?”
“Look, I just wanted to let someone know. I’m gonna head out now. I should be back in—”
Alder’s grip tightened on her shoulder. “Let me put some clothes on,” he said. He released her and headed back into the room. “Wait here.”
Hands on her hips, Sarah grumbled, “I wanted privacy. You coming sort of defeats the purpose.”
Ignoring her, Alder dressed quickly, putting on a sweater and jeans before shoving his feet into a pair of large boots. Annoyed though she was, Sarah didn’t bother trying to leave without him. From her few encounters with Alder, she’d deduced that he was a very stubborn male, and would likely catch up to her in no time.
They were outside the den a few minutes later. Sarah also wore jeans, as well as a pair of heavy boots she’d gotten from Fern. Over the past few weeks she’d gotten used to the cold, and as a native Floridian she was proud of how quickly she’d adjusted to the Appalachian climate.
“Where would you like to go?” Alder asked, rubbing an eye with the heel of his palm.
Sarah suppressed a grin at the sight of the big, sleepy male. He shouldn’t have followed her, and she didn’t feel the least bit guilty about dragging him through the woods.
“How far is the river from here?”
He gave her a flat look. “Far.”
“Well, lead the way.”
He did so reluctantly, and she fell into step beside him. The snow was deep, but it had a soft, fluffy quality that Sarah liked. She dragged her feet a bit as she walked, playfully kicking at it.
“Is Snow still in your room?” Alder asked.
“Yeah, she’s sleeping like a rock.” She wasn’t sure why she didn’t correct Alder and tell him it was Cain’s room, not hers.
“Meadow said she spoke today.”
Sarah’s mood brightened at the reminder. “Yup. Apparently she doesn’t like turkey.”
“You’re very good for her,” he remarked.
Stuffing her hands into her pockets, she said, “I dunno. I don’t think it’s me, per se. I think she just needs someone that’s hers, you know? Caim has his father, and the other girls have Grace and Jewel. Snow doesn’t have anyone. I just don’t understand why Hale doesn’t take more responsibility for her. To be honest, it kind of pisses me off.”
“Snow was born very early,” Alder said, not looking her way. “She was…very small. We didn’t think she would live.”
When he didn’t elaborate, she asked, “What does that have to do with anything?”
He paused to consider his next words before replying. “I don’t know if it’s the same for humans, but we form very strong bonds with our pups at birth. Sometimes, when pups are born sickly, we purposely distance ourselves, to make it easier when they die.”
“Oh…” Sarah said softly. “I guess I can sort of understand.”
It still sounded cruel to Sarah, but she reminded herself that they weren’t human, not entirely. She couldn’t judge them for following their natural instincts.
“Still,” she said. “Snow’s fine now. She’s a little sick, but it’s nothing we can’t manage. What she needs more than anything is a parent. Hale can’t keep acting like she doesn’t exist.”
Alder took Sarah’s hand, helping to pull her up a steep rock. The pathway sloped downward, and past a good half mile of forest, Sarah thought she could see the river, but it might have just been wishful thinking. The muscles in her legs were starting to protest, but it was good ache, and she wasn’t ready to turn back.
“You know what I really don’t understand?” she asked as they continued down the path. “I don’t understand why Dawn would want to be with Hale instead of him. She and Cain had a child together. Why would she just throw all that away to be with Hale?” She wrinkled her nose. “Hale had to have been a teenager when they were together.”
“Why were you so quick to break off your relationship with Cain?” Alder countered.
She frowned. “That was different. Cain and I have only known each other for a month, and we don’t have a child together, not yet.”
“But you will.”
Sarah took a deep breath before nodding. “We will,” she agreed, and it was strange to accept it. More to herself than to Alder, she added, “And that’s why I’m going to try and work things out between us. I’m not sure if I can ever forgive him. Honestly, I don’t want to ever forgive him at this point, but I am going to try to make it work.”
She still wasn’t sure if it was the mature decision or if it was a cop out, but Sarah knew now that she was too invested in her life with the wolves to just walk away.
Alder said, “Dawn wasn’t a bad mother, she was just lonely. Cain didn’t treat her poorly, but he never loved her, so she turned to someone who would.”
“And that someone was you,” she said.
Alder stopped in his tracks, turning to look at her. His face was perfectly blank, and she did her best to mirror his expression. As they stared at one another, the realization that she was right began to creep over her.
It had been a total shot in the dark, but something had been nagging at her. Something about the way he looked when he spoke about Dawn.
“You were in love with her,” Sarah breathed. “I don’t understand. Why does everyone think Snow is Hale’s daughter? Does Cain know?”
Alarm flashed over his face. In a tight voice, he said, “No.” He looked away from her, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “Just Hale.”
Sarah moved to stand in front of Alder, forcing him to look at her. “Why not just tell the truth? What difference does it make?”
His eyes narrowed. “Hale’s an alpha. Someday very soon, he’s going to leave the pack and take a mate of his own.” Alder let out a sharp exhale. “I’m not an alpha. I’m probably going to spend the rest of my life here. If Cain knows the truth, he’ll always resent me.”
“You don’t know that,” she said, putting a hand on his arm.
He shook his head. “I’ve seen the way Cain looks at Hale. They used to be close, now Cain hardly speaks to him. You can’t tell him.”
It disturbed her to see such a large, strong male appear so vulnerable, and Sarah found herself stroking his arm in a reassuring gesture.
“If it worries you so much, why don’t you leave with Hale?”
He gave her a stricken look. “I can’t leave Snow.”
While she was contemplating his words, Alder’s muscles tensed up. She noticed his gaze had shifted to the woods behind her, but when she glanced back, all Sarah could see was a blur of snow and trees. Alder circled an arm around her, guiding her back up the hill.
“Come on. Let’s get back to the den,” he said, looking over his shoulder as they walked.
“What is it?” she asked nervously.
Alder’s reply was murmured, an
d she only caught one part of it, “…or maybe bears…”
“Bears?” she hissed. “Seriously, bears again?”
He placed a finger over her lips. “Hush.”
As they came to the summit of the hill, Alder paused and looked down, scanning the woods with his keen gaze. Anxiously, Sarah tugged at his sweater.
“Can we please just go? I’m really not a fan of bears.”
He pointed towards the river. “They’re down there, at the bank.”
Sarah squinted, but it was too far out to bring into focus. “What do you think they’re doing down there? Isn’t this our territory?”
Alder turned to face her, a broad smile on his face. “It’s my brother’s territory, but I guess that makes it yours, too.”
Her cheeks colored as she returned his smile. Squinting towards the river again, she tried to bring the bears into focus, but still had no luck.
“They’re probably just passing through,” Alder said, taking her hand. “If they’re still in the area by nightfall, Hale and I will deal with them.”
“Why are there so many shifters passing through?” she asked. It was the second time she was aware of others in the area, but judging by Alder’s nonchalant attitude, it was probably more common than she thought.
“Humans were in the lowlands a few weeks ago,” he said.
Sarah remembered the soldier she and Cain had encountered all too well. She’d thought that was an isolated incident, but if other shifters were on the move, then clearly there was something up.
“What do you think they want?”
Alder gave an ironic snort. “Does it matter what they want? It’s not like they’re going to negotiate terms with us. We’re just animals to them.”
A shiver ran the length of her spine, and all at once Sarah yearned to be back in the den. The outside world seemed foreign to her. She wanted to be back with the pack and with the children. There was just one thing she had to do before they went back.
“I won’t tell Cain what you told me,” she said. “But you should. Snow deserves to have a father, and you’ll never be able to have a real relationship with her until you’re honest about who you are.”
Alder was silent for a while. Just when she thought he wasn’t going to respond, he sighed and said, “Cain’s going to kill me.”
Sarah smirked. “I think he’ll be too busy kissing my ass to worry about kicking yours.”
Chapter 33
Deciding to stay had a remarkable effect on Sarah’s mood over the next couple of evenings. Without the ever-present guilt about having to leave the children, or constantly second-guessing herself about her feelings regarding her pregnancy, she was free to enjoy her nights with the pack, mostly.
The impending confrontation with Cain was on the horizon. She had gone over what she would say to him several times, mostly in her head, and on occasion in heated ramblings under her breath. No matter how many times she played through the scenario, she couldn’t think of anything Cain could say that would absolve him.
Sarah didn’t have much time to think about Cain. Though she didn’t have any responsibilities aside from watching the children, taking care of werewolf pups was practically a full-time job.
Despite her initial reluctance to speak, Snow quickly became a chatterbox, giving even Lotus a run for her money. Her favorite word to say was “Sarah,” and it was usually accompanied by her tugging on whichever part of Sarah was within reach.
Finally able to join the hunting party, Lotus couldn’t have been happier. Her first night out, she caught what was either a squirrel or chipmunk; it was too mangled to tell. She pranced around the den for at least an hour, mostly to tease Caim, Sarah suspected.
Unlike Lotus, Caim was miserable about the change and spent the night glaring at anyone who looked his way. Sarah didn’t know it was possible for someone so young to have such a big chip on his shoulder.
On the evening of her third week with the pack, Sarah was watching Caim, Sable, and Snow while the others were out hunting. Fresh snow had fallen through the opening in the moon room, and Sarah tried to teach the children how to make snowmen. Sable and Caim were more interested in wrestling, and Snow, ironically, hated snow.
Once they’d tired themselves out, Sarah led them from the moon room to nap. After a bit of trial and error, she’d found that Cain’s room was the one place that Caim would nap in. Soothed by the scent of his father, Caim had even gone so far as to snuggle up to Sarah’s side in his sleep.
Today, Caim settled down at the foot of the bed, his dark pelt blending into the bearskin pallet. Sable slept in her wolf form as well, her head resting on Sarah’s leg, while Snow draped herself over Sarah’s chest. It wasn’t exactly comfortable, being boxed in on all sides by pups, but Sarah thought that maybe she could get used to it.
* * *
As Cain neared the den, he could hear footsteps in close pursuit. He slowed his pace, pleased when Alder appeared behind him. Had Cain made it all the way to the den without being noticed, there would have been hell to pay.
They both shifted, and for Cain the shift had never felt better. He had every intention of staying in his human form for at least a few days. The others could handle the hunt. He had no plans to leave the den or his mate.
Leaving had been a lot more difficult than Cain had anticipated. With his former mate, he had come and gone as necessary, trusting the pack to provide for her in his absence. In many ways, he had enjoyed his time away from the pack, as it afforded Cain a small measure of freedom in a life that was laden with responsibilities.
Things had been different this time, and Cain had thought of little else but returning to his mate and son as quickly as possible.
“It’s about time,” Cain said, unzipping his bag. He pulled out his boots and jeans, not bothering with a shirt. Alder trudged up to him as he dressed.
“I caught your scent a while back,” Alder said. “Lotus got stuck in a tree. I had to get her down first.”
As he finished buttoning his jeans, Cain gave his brother a questioning look before bending to tie his shoes.
Alder explained, “Sarah is having Caim and Lotus take turns hunting.” Eyes dancing with amusement, he added, “Your son is not pleased.”
Cain favored Alder with a tight smile. Cain didn’t like hearing the other males refer to his mate by her given name. He had never considered himself to be an overly possessive wolf, but he couldn’t control the way his blood heated at the thought of another male being familiar with her.
Flinging his bag over his shoulder, Cain started towards the den again. “How is my mate?”
“She’s fine,” Alder said, following alongside him. “Probably sleeping right now.”
“And Caim?”
“Good.”
“Any trouble while I’ve been gone?”
Alder hesitated before saying, “Few bears passing through. Nothing Hale and I couldn’t handle.”
Cain took in his brother’s rigid posture and frowned. “Then what’s wrong?”
“There’s something I want to talk to you about,” Alder said, coming to a halt.
Cain stopped as well. There was something about being so close to the den that made Cain immensely impatient. His warm mate was just a few moments away. He needed to touch her and smell her again. He needed to be inside of her.
Pinching the bridge of his nose, Cain asked, “Can it wait?”
Alder cringed. “I guess it can.”
Satisfied and not the least bit curious, Cain turned to start towards the den once more. His fists clenched as Alder called out to him.
“Wait. There is something else you should know.”
Not stopping, Cain barked out, “What is it?”
“Sarah’s pregnant.”
* * *
Sarah was awakened by a newly developed sixth sense: the ability to tell when a child wasn’t where it was supposed to be. Flexing her superpower, she detected the heavy weight of Snow on her chest and felt Sable’s so
ft puppy head on her thigh. Wiggling her toes, she let out a groan. Caim.
Snow rolled down Sarah’s chest as she sat up, falling into a neat heap in Sarah’s lap. Sarah rubbed at her eyes in a vain effort to dispel her sleepiness. Lately it had been harder to wake herself up than the children.
Sarah looked around the room, holding out hope that she could go back to sleep. Caim was nowhere to be seen. Briefly, she considered waking Sable up to help her sniff Caim out, but decided it probably wasn’t ethical to use her young charge as a bloodhound. Setting Snow aside, Sarah got up and began her search.
She headed for the moon room, knowing that if he wasn’t there, he’d probably gone outside. At least then, she could go up and search for footprints. While most of the pack didn’t think much of Caim’s tendency to disappear, Sarah was not about to let him get eaten by a bear on her watch.
The bonfire hadn’t been lit yet, but the moon room was bathed in light from the full moon. Sarah paused as she entered, looking up at the night sky. The moon was an orb of silver light, blurred, but somehow no less beautiful than usual.
“Sarah.”
The familiar voice made her heart stutter. A shadowed figure stood across the room, golden eyes flashing in the moonlight.
Though she had played the scenario over and over in her head, Sarah couldn’t remember any of the speeches she’d prepared. While she stood frozen in place, Cain closed the distance between them.
Chapter 34
One strong hand on her back and the other gripping her neck, Cain drew Sarah in for a fierce kiss. A strangled noise, part moan and part whimper, escaped her lips just before his mouth crushed hers. Cain responded with a low growl that reverberated throughout her bones and made her stomach quiver.
Remembering to breathe, she inhaled deeply, inadvertently taking in a long drag of Cain’s intoxicating scent. Her knees went weak and when she moaned again it was a raw, needy sound.