“Not yet,” she gave him a small smile and stepped away. “I get to talk first.”
His lips pinched in confusion, but he restrained himself from asking her anything, allowing her to say what she needed to.
She didn’t know where to start. Deciding to talk to him as she would have before, she started. “I went to my dad’s grave today.”
“I know.”
“Right, your mom,” she sighed, turning to look towards the large tree on the periphery. “Can we not do this here?” she asked. “I need to talk to you, Elijah. Like we used to.”
Nodding in understanding, he stood and held out his hand. She took it, and he led them away from the light. As her eyes grew used to the darkness, she could make out the bench. They sat side by side in the stillness.
“It’s smaller than I remember,” Elijah laughed softly.
“Or your butt just got too big,” she quipped.
“Yeah, that’s probably it.” He wiggled his butt. She was almost knocked off, but strong arms wrapped around her waist to keep her in place.
Maggie’s heart beat wildly at their proximity.
“So,” Elijah said, growing serious but not releasing her. “Talk to me.”
“I finally told my dad what he deserved to hear, even though he wasn’t alive to hear it,” Maggie explained. “But still, it felt so damn good. He has no more power over me.”
“That’s good, Mags.” He rested his chin on her shoulder, his breath warm on her neck.
“Jake was there.”
She laughed suddenly as she could practically hear him grimacing.
“It was good,” she said. She didn’t tell him the things Jake said to her—that he’d always known.
“I don’t want to talk about Jake.” He started to pull away.
“Hey.” Maggie wrapped an arm around him, keeping him from widening the distance between them. Her hand made its way up his spine to the back of his head. She forced him to look at her. “I’m sorry.”
“Maggie -”
“Don’t tell me it was okay,” she interrupted. “It wasn’t. I’m sorry for everything. I haven’t been all-in, and you deserve someone who is.”
“Is this the part where you tell me that you want to go back to being friends?” His voice grew thick, and Maggie knew he was trying to keep his emotions in check.
“Yes,” she said. When his shoulders dropped, and he tried to pull away, she continued, “And no.”
You can’t be so afraid of being alone that you push away those who love you most.
“What are you saying?” he asked.
It was as if all her planned-out thoughts evaporated, leaving only a confused mist in their wake. What was she saying? She knew what she felt, but not how to make everything okay again.
Sometimes many memories came as one larger image. That’s what happened in that moment. Every promise Elijah had ever made to her came as one. I will love you. That’s what he’d always been saying. She just hadn’t wanted to hear it.
“I want to make you a promise,” she finally said.
She saw a dark eyebrow arch as the corner of his mouth twitched.
“I - It’s you,” she stuttered. “I love you, Elijah.”
He gripped her around the waist and lifted her so quickly she didn’t have time to react before she was in his lap. “I didn’t hear a promise in that,” he said in a low voice as he grazed his lips against her cheek.
“You didn’t?” she asked. “Because I heard every promise.”
The words were barely out of her mouth before he covered it with his own. It suddenly felt like something was falling into place. Something that had been in the making since they were kids. Something powerful and terrifying. Something good.
She arched into him, just wanting to be closer. He invaded every one of her senses, making her feel more than she ever had before. She gripped his hair to pull his head back as she trailed kisses down his neck. He squeezed her to him, his hand moving underneath her shirt.
The bench below them wasn’t meant for this, and they soon found themselves almost falling off.
“We should go inside,” Maggie said, taking his earlobe between her teeth.
He groaned, and then realization hit him.
“Maggie,” he said, gripping her shoulders. “Stop. That thing I said I needed to talk to you about - it can’t wait.”
“Of course it can.” She leaned in for another kiss, but he stopped her.
“It’s about Kimberly.”
She stopped suddenly and climbed off his lap, never taking her eyes from his.
“Tell me,” she said quietly.
“You remember that story you told me about Jason?” Elijah asked. “The one of him sitting alone in the hospital after his parents died?”
Maggie nodded. “I still dream about that.”
“I know you do.” He paused. “That’s how she looked. She’s only six years old, and her entire world has been ripped away from her. I couldn’t take it.”
She laid her palm against his cheek, and he turned into it. Sighing, his breath blew hot across her hand. Sensing this was a big moment for them, she gave him time to think before he went on.
“I brought her here,” he whispered finally. “She’s upstairs sleeping.”
Maggie couldn’t speak past the lump that had formed in her throat, and she was thankful the darkness hid her tears.
Elijah took her hands into his own and went on. “Mags, after everything that’s happened recently, I don’t want you to think I’m being manipulative or controlling. But believe it or not, I do know you. I’ve watched you this summer. For years, all you’ve ever wanted was a family you could love and that will love you back. You have part of one - with Jason and everyone. But it isn’t whole. There’s something missing.”
Maggie was frozen in her seat. This was something she’d considered on more than one occasion. She clasped her arms across her stomach, remembering the day a part of her died. The day she learned she’d never have a child.
“Kimberly is a little broken right now.” Elijah wrapped an arm around Maggie’s shoulders and pulled her closer. “Which is exactly why she needs you. I was never going to let her go into the system, and neither were you.”
Maggie wiped at her tears with the back of her hand and stood. She started walking, under the power of something bigger than herself. She couldn’t have stopped herself if she tried. Her feet carried her across the yard and up the steps to the deck. The sliding back door was already open, and she stepped through. Walking up the stairs, she suddenly realized she didn’t know which room to go to.
“Second door on the left,” Elijah said, stepping up behind her.
She wavered on the step, and he gripped her waist.
“It’s okay,” he said. “I’m here.”
Those words had many meanings, and she was grateful for every one as she pushed open the door to Kimberly’s room. Her feet didn’t move forward as she took everything in. This room had been set up before Kimberly’s grandmother died.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked.
“You weren’t really speaking to me,” he shrugged. “Plus, I knew what you wanted. You just had to figure it out on your own.”
Her eyes scanned the dark room, the yellow walls illuminated by a night-light near the dresser. She held back her tears as she took in the huddled form on the bed.
They’d tried to be quiet so they wouldn’t wake the girl, but it turned out they didn’t need to worry about that. A muffled sob reverberated around the room as Kimberly pressed her face into her pillow and cried.
Maggie rushed towards the bed and crouched down.
“Kimberly,” she cooed.
The girl lifted her red-rimmed eyes and sniffled. “Maggie,” she cried.
Maggie reached out and pushed her hair back out of her face before planting a light kiss on her forehead. “Scoot over.”
Kimberly made room in her twin bed, and Maggie sat next to her with her back
resting against the wall. She pulled Kimberly into her arms, and the girl clung to her as her body was wracked with another fit of sobs.
“Shhhh,” Maggie said, resting her cheek on the top of Kimberly’s head. “I’ve got you now. You and me, kid, that’s how it’s going to be.”
Kimberly grew still, and Maggie thought she had fallen asleep.
“And Jah too?” a small voice asked.
Maggie smiled and looked towards the doorway where Elijah stood, watching her.
“Yes, sweetheart,” she said. “Elijah too.”
Her eyes didn’t leave Elijah’s as she held the girl until she fell asleep. When there were no more sobs and the hands clinging to Maggie had gone slack, she lowered the girl to the bed and stood up.
Neither she nor Elijah spoke as they shut the door behind them and descended the stairs. They reached the kitchen, and their steps echoed off the hardwood floors. The hum of new appliances permeated the stillness, and Maggie turned to Elijah.
“Thank you,” she said, suddenly aware how inadequate those words were.
“This is going to change our entire lives,” he said. “I just hope we’re ready.”
“We are,” she said.
“How do you have so much confidence in me?”
“Because, Elijah,” she wrapped her arms around his waist and looked up at him. “I love you.”
He leaned down to kiss her, and she smiled against his lips before leaning back.
“You’re always telling me how well you know me,” she said. “Well, I know you too. And you, sir, can do anything.”
He surprised her by picking her up by the waist. She squealed as he set her down on the counter-top, but it was cut off with a kiss. She pulled him closer, tugging on his bottom lip with her teeth.
He smiled. “We do this together then,” he said, breathless as he pulled away to look at her.
“You promise?” she asked.
He grinned at the sound of their game. Only it wasn’t a game. There was only one promise he’d ever broken, but it was the dumbest one he’d ever made, and he planned on breaking it every day. He couldn’t not kiss her. He didn’t know how he’d gotten by before those lips were his.
“I promise.” He leaned in, whispering against her lips. “I will always promise.”
<<<<>>>>
THE END
Next up – Taylor and Josh
Flip the page to find out if our hockey playing sweetheart is able to break through Taylor’s grief.
Chapter One
How long does it take to be okay again after a loss? Two years? Five? Does it ever get better?
It had been one long year, 365 days, since Taylor Scott lost the only boy she’d ever loved. She remembered all the things people said to her since it happened. Things like “You’re young, it’ll be okay,” or “It’ll just take time.” But now some of that time had passed, and she didn’t feel any better. She didn’t really feel anything at all.
“You okay, sweetie?” her dad asked, giving her a knowing look as he parked the car on the side of the road.
To most of the people in Portland, he was Coach Scott, the man who led the Portland Winterhawks hockey team to the Memorial cup title the year before.
Taylor made a noncommittal sound in the back of her throat, but her dad knew better than to press the issue.
She stepped out onto the curb as her mom detached her three-year-old sister, Evie, from the car-seat. Robin Scott was the ultimate coach’s wife. In junior hockey, the players were just teenagers. Most of them were far from home, living with host families. Robin made sure each one of them had everything they needed, including a mother hen. They all loved her. Danny had loved her.
Taylor hadn’t cried at the church a year ago. Her eyes remained dry as they lowered him into the ground. It hadn’t quite felt real yet. That changed as she faced the reality of living without him. She spent the last year in the kind of haze that’s created when you can’t really believe what your life has become. No one ever thinks they’re going to lose the love of their life- at least, not at eighteen.
Today, on the anniversary of Danny’s death, was the memorial service. It was supposed to be happy, a celebration of his life. She didn’t want to cry in front of other people, but she couldn’t bring herself to smile either.
They all expected her to break down at any moment. Her parents watched everything she did, just waiting for the sorrow to overwhelm her. Her friends walked on eggshells around her. After it happened, Danny’s teammates, dealing with their own grief, had rallied around her. Over time, she pushed them away. She pushed everyone away and put her future on hold.
College had been deferred, friends had been forgotten. She didn’t know how she could live her life when she didn’t care about any of it anymore.
Cars lined the long driveway and the street leading up to it. Taylor had made this walk so many times before. The big house in front of her belonged to her best friend Sarah’s family. Sarah was the one friend who held on to Taylor tighter the more she tried to push everyone away.
But it wasn’t just Sarah that’d lived within those walls. For two years before his death, Sarah’s family hosted Danny Brown. He was sixteen when he first arrived. Sarah had raved to Taylor about the cute boy that moved in. When she finally met him, he was goofy and a little out there, but he had a smile that immediately put her at ease. He was cute in an awkward sort of way. It wasn’t long before they were spending every free moment together. Danny loved her with everything he had. He never did anything half-way. It made her feel special, like she could do anything as long as he was there. For two years there was so much joy in their lives.
A month before it happened, Danny was drafted in the second round by the Tampa Bay Lightning. She knew he probably wouldn’t make the team for at least another year or two, but she planned to go with him when he did. She could go to college anywhere. They had dreams - to be together.
But then they were ripped away the moment she saw him collapse on the ice during training.
“Taylor!” Sarah’s voice cut through Taylor’s thoughts as the door before them was flung open.
“Hey Sarah, dear.” Taylor’s mom shifted Evie in her arms so she could give Sarah a one armed hug.
They were welcomed into the throng of people who were there for Danny. He was loved. Whether it be teammates he had over the years or his extensive extended family. Everyone was here.
Sarah looped her arm through Taylor’s and steered her away from her parents to the back of the house.
“Are you okay?” Sarah leaned in to whisper.
“No,” Taylor responded shortly. Sarah was the one person she’d ever admit that to. Over the past year she practically made a sport of convincing people she was fine. No one believed her, but they stopped asking.
It might have been the way she walked through her life like a zombie, not really registering anything. Her parents made her get a job when she decided not to go to college in the fall, mainly to force her to get out of the house.
She couldn’t remember the last time she laughed or had fun. It was an emotionless existence, but it was easier than the alternative, better than forgetting and moving on.
A couple of the guys from the team saw her and took their turns giving her hugs.
“You look beautiful, Tay,” Garret, the captain of the team, whispered into her ear as he squeezed her in a bear hug. “Danny would’ve loved this.” He gestured to the yellow dress she was wearing.
It was a well-known fact that Danny’s favorite color was yellow. He just loved it. And his teammates gave him endless beef about it.
If it was up to Taylor, she wouldn’t be wearing it. Her mom had insisted that she needed to wear something bright for a memorial service and Danny’s color was perfect. It was Taylor’s favorite dress, even though she hadn’t worn it in over a year and knew she’d never wear it again after today.
“Thanks,” she said dully as Garret released her.
“We’re g
oing to miss you around here.”
“Yeah,” Sarah piped in with fake offense in her voice. “I can’t believe you’re leaving me.”
Taylor shrugged. Truth be told, she was glad to be leaving Portland. She only wished Ohio wasn’t her destination. Her dad had been retired from the NHL for fifteen years now and was finally going back, as a coach this time. After winning the Memorial Cup, he was offered an assistant coach position with the Columbus Blue Jackets. He loved his team in Portland, but the NHL was the dream.
Taylor was going with them, but her parents decided it was time for her to restart her life. They were making her start at Ohio State in September. Even worse, they were forcing her to live in the dorms. They thought it would be good for her to meet some new people. They didn’t want to know what she thought about that.
Taylor left them chatting and let her feet take her through the house, towards the stairs that led into the basement. The room was a converted living space for hockey players the family hosted.
Taking the steps slowly, she stood in the open door. Her eyes did a sweep of the familiar surroundings, but it wasn’t the same. The photo of the two of them that Danny had blown up and framed no longer hung on the wall beside the bed. The comforter was black now instead of a light blue.
The scent of cinnamon air fresheners that he loved so much no longer hung in the air.
Someone cleared their throat behind her, and she turned to find a boy watching her. He looked to be a few years younger than herself.
“Can I help you?” he asked.
“What?”
“This is my room.” He pointed behind her. “I just moved in.”
“Oh, sorry.” She moved to walk by him, avoiding his eyes.
“You’re the old coach’s daughter, right?”
The old coach. That stopped her, and she turned. Her father was no longer the coach to these guys. If this boy just moved in, he would only play for the new one.
Yeah, she thought. Things are changing.
“I’m sorry about that guy,” the boy stammered as she continued to stare at him.
The New Beginnings (Books #1-3) Page 33