by Kailin Gow
Justin sighed. “And then I saw her – unconscious, lying on the bed, but I could see her face.”
“Okay?” Kalina couldn’t breathe; the prickling in her blood was getting stronger, rising, rising to a boil. “I don’t get it.”
“She looked like you, Kalina!” Justin spit out the words in a single, breathless sentence. “Just like you. The resemblance – not just like a cousin, or even a sister. Like a twin. Older, maybe – and more beat-up; she looked like hell. But it was…it was like I was looking at you.”
Kalina shuddered, as what felt like a bolt of electricity pulsed through her, rushng through her body, burning up her veins. She had felt similar things in the past, when her blood had connected with Jaegar’s, with Octavius’. But she’d never felt anything like this. Her whole body was shaking, trembling from the jolt.
Life’s Blood. She knew it with the truth of blood-certainty.
“Where’s the girl now?” Kalina forced out the words.
“Gone,” Justin said. “Dr. Smoots called me into his office – I tried to get away, but by the time I made my way out of there she’d just…gone.”
She must have left not too long ago, because the air around Kalina, especially down the hallway, which the girl had most likely traveled down minutes before, made her blood burned, and she could feel blood rush through her face causing her to flush pink.
“Hey, you okay?” Justin asked.
“Yes,” Kalina said, steadying herself. She had never felt this sensation before, not with Octavius, Stuart, Jaegar, and even Aaron. “Even after she’s gone, I could still feel her presence here.”
Justin and Kalina looked at each other.
Life’s Blood was that strong, and now Kalina knew how vampires felt around her.
But who was this girl?
Chapter 2
Justin and Kalina returned to the hotel in silence. She knew what he was thinking, knew that Justin was wondering – just as she was – about the identity of the mysterious girl in the hospital bed. Justin’s story had unsettled her enough – the idea of a twin, a look-a-like, in the very same building – but what had truly thrown her was the sensation that had entered into her blood, the burning surety that she was in the presence of Life’s lood, not her own, but that of another, a stranger. Kalina knew that the Life’s Blood within her was strong; it recognized its own, just as it had recognized its desire and love in Octavius and the Greystone brothers.
At last, when they had locked themselves safely in the hotel room, drawn all the curtains and closed all the shutters, and checked every last corner for danger, they sat down across from each other on the bed, and tried to make sense of it all.
“You don’t think…” and Kalina said the question she knew they had both been thinking, “the orphanage, you know. Maybe they didn’t keep good records? Or maybe there wasn’t another one, at the orphanage…but my parents…my birth parents.”
“You think you have a sister?” Justin sighed. “You think…I have another sister?” He laughed lightly, the shock finally hitting him. “I mean, that’s crazy. But – then again – what isn’t crazy when it comes to you, Kalina?”
Kalina shot him a soft smile. “I know,” she said.
Justin inhaled. “Mom and Dad always told me that you were the only one,” he said, “that you had no known family anywhere in the world. They would have told me if there had been another sibling in the orphanage; the orphanage couldn’t have known…”
“But that doesn’t mean there wasn’t one,” said Kalina. What was the alternative, then? That there had been another daughter, one who had never made it to an orphanage? One that her biological parents had been able to keep? She had always imagined that her parents were dead; what if they had only abandoned her? She wasn’t sure of anything anymore.
“Listen,” said Justin. “Kalina, I did something, okay? I did something that – well, let’s just say that if anyone finds out about this, I could lose my job. So, don’t tell anyone, okay?”
“Of course,” said Kalina, as Justin withdrew a thin manila folder from his briefcase. He handed them to her, his face stony and expressionless.
“You stole her medical records?” Kalina almost shouted. This was so unlike quiet, rule-abiding Justin; she could have laughed.
“It was important,” said Justin, somewhat sheepishly. “If it involves you, and your life – well, I’m making it my business.”
Kalina couldn’t help but smile. Shy, over-protective or not, Justin was the best older brother any girl could ask for. As a thin crimson blush spread over Justin’s cheeks, Kalina considered him thoughtfully, running her eyes up and down the length of his face. He was handsome, even in his awkwardness, his stiff, shy way of being embarrassed about doing the right thing.
“You need a girlfriend,” Kalina decided.
“What?” Justin’s eyes grew large. “Where did that come from?”
“I need someone to distract you,” she said. “From worrying about me. To let you live your life – without risking your job. I can take care of myself. I’ve got the help of others – people like Jaegar…”
“Live my life?” Justin sighed. “This is my life, Kalina. I’m your brother, your guardian. Caring for you is my life.”
“That doesn’t mean…”
“Besides,” he continued, “I’ve got work.”
“There are lots of cute nurses and doctors in the hospital,” said Kalina. “I’m sure a smart guy like you could find something.”
Justin turned bright red, muttering something under his breath.
“What?”
“Who’s to say I haven’t?” said Justin, a little louder this time.
“What?” Kalina jumped up. “What? And you didn’t tell me!”
“I’ve been looking around,” said Justin. “Over the summer – you know – keeping things casual. Seeing a few young ladies, here and there.”
“A few?” Kalina raised an eyebrow. “Do they know about each other?”
“They know I’m keeping things casual – for now. I’ve got too many responsibilities to be in a reionship.”
“So, you’re willing to leave all these women in Rutherford to take care of me at Yale? I don’t know, Justin – not the best trade.” It was good to laugh with her brother again.
But Justin grew serious. “Listen, Kal,” said Justin, “I promised Mom and Dad I’d take care of you. Because you’re special. Everything about you – from the necklace they found on you when you were a baby to the weirdness in your blood charts. I don’t know what they knew…”
“They knew about vampires? You think they knew all that and didn’t tell me? Tell us?”
“I don’t know what they knew,” said Justin again. “I’ve been rereading Mom’s journal, since we came out to New Haven. And in one of the entries around the time they adopted you, Mom talks about you being the “key to end it.” I don’t know what it means, but I have to find out, to know as much as possible. You’re my sister, my only family. If anything happened to you,” he sighed, “I’d have no one.”
Kalina enveloped him in a hug, wrapping her arms tightly around his shoulders. “Don’t worry,” said Kalina. “I can take care of myself. But you, you’re the one I’m worried about.” She let out a deep sigh. “You need to take care of yourself, too. This Life’s Blood; it gives me powers. But you….if they wanted to get to me, any of them, all they’d have to do is find you, take you – and I’d do anything to protect you, to save your life. You know that. They know that. So please, be careful. For your sake – and for mine.”
Justin smiled. “Look, I may not be a vampire like your boyfriends... ex-boyfriends…”
“Ex-boyfriends,” said Kalina, quickly. As far as she was concerned, she – like her brother – wanted to keep things casual. Her responsibilities were too great for her to be tied down, to vampires or humans, despite the fevered dreams that kept her turning at night.
“But I’m pretty handy with a stake, okay?” Justin grabb
ed one from the bedside table. “See, I’ve been practicing. And I’ve been working out at the gym.” He showed her a couple of moves that she had taught him.
Kalina laughed. He wasn’t bad, after all, she thought, watching him make his quick, mechanically-trained movements. He was a smart boy after all, she thought, like her parents – his biological parents – as bright as they were. But were they bright enough to have figured out the secret of Life’s Blood.
“Justin,” Kalina said softly.
“Yeah?”
“Can I see Mom’s journal? I mean, would you mind?”
Justin stirred. “Of course,” he said. “It’s as much yours as it is mine, now.” He went to his suitcase, taking out a thin leather-bound volume. “This covers the years right after your adoption,” he said. “There are other volumes in the suitcase.”
“Must be heavy, lugging all those suitcases around.” They’d been going from hotel to hotel over the past few weeks as Justin searched for a more permanent apartment in the area, within easy walking distance to the Yale campus.
“It’s a reminder,” said Justin, “of the bigger burden I carry.” He blushed again. “Always to take care of my little sister.”
Kalina smiled. “Thanks,” she said, squeezing his hand, before giving him an enormous hug, holding him tightly.
A knock sounded at the door.
They stiffened immediately, straightening up from the embrace. Justin tightened his grip on his stake; Kalina took another from her purse. She placed the journal under the tightly-wrapped covers of the bed and walked to the peep-hole.
“I’ll…” Justin began, rising.
“No!” Kalina made it clear that she would not be moved on this point.
She peered through the peep-hole and then gasped, before laughing with relief.
“Who is it?”
But before Justin could finish his words Kalina was fumbling with the lock, opening the door, allowing herself to fall into Jaegar’s arms, feeling his lips hot on her own, his arms cool against her flesh. She stepped back as he kissed her more and more vigorously, tightening his grip on her, allowing herself to respond, slowly, at first, and then with the full flower of her desire.
She almost didn’t hear as Justin muttered an excuse about the hotel bar and mealtimes, seizing the manila folder and stumbling out.
“Where’s Justin?” she murmured, about five minutes after he had gone. Five minutes in which she had been delirious with happiness, with safety, with the feeling of bliss that meant being in Jaegar’s arms.
“He went to have dinner!” Jaegar laughed, whispering into her ear and tickling her earlobes with his lips. “Didn’t you hear him?”
“No!” Kalina couldn’t help laughing too. Everything seemed so much better, so much safer and more certain, now that Jaegar was here.
“Hungry?” asked Kalina. “After all, you can eat food now…maybe we could get burgers?”
“Hungry, yes!” Jaegar said, nudging her neck, bringing his lips to her cheek, her forehead, her eyes and lips. “I’m starving…” He picked her up and pushed her down onto the bed. “For you.” He trailed his kisses up and down the length of her body, ending with her lips. She inhaled the scent of him: warm, delirious, intoxicating.
“Did I tell you,” murmured Jaegar, as his mouth found the hidden corners of her body, nudging up against her clothing, “just how delicious you are to me?” He laughed. “Even without my bloodlust, I still want you so much – just smelling you, getting close to you, gets me so…I can’t stop thinking about how much I want you.”
“Jaegar,” she kicked off her shoes, helped him unbutton his shirt. “What is it about you that…” But before she could finish, Jaegar had removed her blouse, and was working on loosening the hooks of her bra. “It’s only been a few days – but it seems like weeks.” She missed his touch, his caress, the lightness of his fingers; together they fell into each other’s arms, until at last they had both stripped to their underwear. She felt her fingers hot upon his back; she felt his arms so tight around her ribs. She could feel his urgency, his desire. She knew that he wanted to go further, wanted to give in at last to the desire that all but consumed them both.
She had nothing to fear, after all. Now that Jaegar had been turned human, her Life’s Blood could no longer corrupt him. And it was her love, wasn’t it, that had made him human? Surely that meant she was free at last, free to give herself up to him, to give in to what they both wanted so deeply.
She could see the love in his eyes, shining t with such intensity that they seemed to contain all the love in the world. “I swear,” Jaegar was whispering, “I love you so much, Kalina. You’re my woman…and I waited so long for this…I’ve waited for centuries to find you.”
Kalina closed her eyes and lay back upon the pillow, waiting for surrender, for the sweet consummation of her desires.
“Jaegar,” she allowed her eyelids to flutter open.
What she saw shocked her. She stopped, mid-sentence, and shot up straight, her hand clapped tightly over her mouth.
Jaegar had fangs.
Chapter 3
“No! No!” Kalina cried. “No, it can’t be.” She’d seen Jaegar turned human right in front of her, seen his fangs retract and his face fill with color, heard the beating of his heart and felt the softness of his breath upon her cheeks. She’d seen Jaegar become human; she’d watched it happen, her Life’s Blood restoring him to true health, although he had the speed of a vampire, a benefit of Life’s Blood. But at least he was human. And now here he was again, fangs intact.
Memories, images rushed through her of the short time they’ve been together just now. He hadn’t eaten; his skin was so cold – she hadn’t noticed a heartbeat. All things she had ignored in the heat of the moment, but which came back to her at once. So, Jaegar had been a vampire this whole time, as they had kissed, taken off each other’s clothes, come so close to…
She had hoped that it would be safe; she could be with him, as a human, doing what she could never risk doing with a vampire.
“It’s okay, Kalina,” Jaegar was comforting her, wrapping her in his arms – so cold, now! Why hadn’t she noticed the cold before? “So it didn’t work. I guess the reversas only temporary, or something.” He looked down. “It’s never happened before, that a Life’s Blood carrier has been able to do what you’ve done, fall in love with more than one…” He sighed and bit his lip. “Maybe it’s better this way,” he said. “I can protect you like this, protect Justin, in a way I never could if I were human. I had my chance to experience what it was like to be human for the first time in seven hundred years, even if it was only for a few days. And yes, it’s true, I loved it. But not because I was human, Kalina. But because I was with you, because I could be with you without being afraid of my bloodlust. I want to be with you, human or not. I only want you.”
Kalina felt plump tears rolling down her cheeks. She consciously knew that there was nothing she could have done, but she still felt nevertheless like she had failed him, like somehow her love wasn’t truly strong enough to save him. Perhaps Jaegar was right – her feelings for Stuart and Octavius complicated matters, and maybe that was the reason behind Jaegar’s transformation back into a vampire: the failure of her love. “But I do love you,” Kalina murmured, “I do!”
Jaegar pulled her into his arms, holding her tight. “I know, darling,” he whispered, “I know.” He sighed, giving a little laugh as he did so. “There’s the irony, I suppose. No matter how much we love each other, the universe may never allow us to, ah… be together.”
He curled up in the bed beside her, his cold skin against hers. She felt his body grow tight against her and listened for a heartbeat, feeling only emptiness against his chest. Her desire had cooled now, as the moment had passed, but in its place she felt a soft, loving warmth; she wanted nothing more than to let him hold her in his arms, feel his smooth caress on her hair.
She turned over, looking straight into Jaegar’s eyes. She
could see the tears standing at the corners of his gaze, blood-streaked tears that were slowly beginning to roll down his cheeks. She wanted to kiss them away, kiss his eyelids, his forehead, his cheeks. “I’m sorry, Jaegar,” she whispered. “I want to forget everyone else…”
“Octavius,” said Jaegar, darkly.
“Octavius, yes,” said Kalina, “and Stuart. I know Octavius gave me up – that it was impossible – he wanted me to forget him and I have, in part. But Stuart…I keep thinking it’s my fault that he’s been turned.”
“Mal turned me before he turned Stuart,” said Jaegar. “And you were able to get me back from the brink.” She could feel him swallow his jealousy. “Maybe you could do the same for him.”
“If I offer him my blood,” Kalina whispered, “wilingly, with love – instead of him forcing it from me. Maybe it would save him, somehow…”
“Or maybe he’d just kill you!” Jaegar cut in. “Look, I know what he’s feeling, what he must be going through right now. I’ve been there. The madness. I’m surprised he’s lasted this long, that he hasn’t given into his desire yet, tracked you down already.”
“He’s here,” said Kalina. “I heard him, telepathically. He attacked a student on the Yale campus today. I tried to find him, but he was gone. He claimed me – in his words – whispered in my ear that I was his. He’s trying to torment me, to scare me, like a cat playing with a mouse. Still so polite, you know? Still sounds like the same old Stuart.”
“Only…bad.”
“Still so in control.” Kalina sighed, letting Jaegar hold her even closer.
“That’s what is scary,” said Jaegar. “That control is just a dam waiting to burst.” He lifted her chin lightly, looking deep into her eyes. “Kalina, I’ve already lost the only other people I love. I’ve already lost Aaron. I can’t lose you too. And if I lose you to Stuart – then I know I’ll lose you both. Everyone I love – gone, dead. You can’t sacrifice yourself like that, Kalina. You can’t risk it.”
“But what if…”