Somehow he would convince her to give Doug a try. He knew she would find the answers she had been searching for. There were many nights he had lain awake himself, holding the phone, wanting to call. Something stopped him from dialing the number. Unlike Jamie and Danielle, he didn’t need anyone to talk to. It wasn’t about talking; it was all about accepting what had happened. Nothing anyone could say was going to bring back the members of his team. Nope, he needed to go through this alone.
Danielle stopped at the door when she saw Blossom and Jamie. Apparently this was a normal thing in their household because she quietly walked over to Beckett and said, “I know it’s odd, but those two can stand like that for an hour or more. Blossom never gets tired and never leaves him until he lets go. I don’t know what I would have done if KJ hadn’t let us have her.”
Beckett didn’t know Blossom had once belonged to KJ. He and KJ had known each other while in the Corps and were reintroduced through building this development. What had she been doing with a dog like this? He wasn’t one to ask questions mostly because he didn’t want to answer any himself.
Although he wanted to stay and enjoy the beautiful view of Danielle, standing before him in a bikini top and towel wrapped around her waist, this wasn’t the place to act on what was going through his mind. It was going to happen, but not now.
He got off the couch, and the pain shot clear up his thigh like a knife stab. Fuck. He clenched his fist as he pushed past it. “I’ll talk to you later, Danielle. There are some things I have to take care of.”
Every step he took was as bad as the first. This isn’t good.
She touched his arm as he tried to pass. “Are you okay, Beckett? Can I help you?”
He pulled away from her touch. And there was that look. She saw his pain, and he hated that. “I told you before, don’t ask me that.” Although his voice was soft so Jamie couldn’t hear, his tone was harsh. By the expression on her face, he knew he’d hurt her. It wasn’t intentional, it never was, but he did not want or need her pity.
Becket walked out the door and headed to his suite. As he did so, he dialed a number. “Can you stop by and maybe bring your bag?”
“Be right there,” KJ answered.
Once inside, he went directly to the bathroom and took off his pants. Grabbing a towel, he wrapped it around his waist because he didn’t want to explain anything to Drew later. He sat on the edge of the tub while he slowly took off his prosthetic leg. His thigh was red and inflamed. Also, a few staples had pulled and torn the skin. The pain was not as bad as the bitching he was going to have to hear while she stitched him up again.
When she entered, her look said it all. “Oh, I can’t wait to hear how you did this one, cause you sure didn’t do that while using crutches.”
“Long story.”
“You talk and I’ll stitch. Again.”
Not the first time, and God knows it probably won’t be the last.
Chapter Eleven
Danielle hardly slept that night, as her heart ached for Beckett. She knew the reason he was in pain. It was because she’d asked him to watch Jamie all afternoon. It had been thoughtless of her. She could only imagine what his family thought of her.
It was too late now. She hoped his leg wasn’t hurt too badly. Lynn had made it clear he was risking re-injury or infection. Neither of those things needed to happen. Her place was here with her nephew, not out sailing around the island as though she had no responsibilities at all. Danielle couldn’t wait to get back to New York and regain control. This vacation, or whatever it was, was quickly becoming more than she had bargained for.
There were things she was grateful for. Like Jamie making headway on things she had practically given up on. She would never be able to thank them for inviting them here. It would be a memory that she would carry with her always, but it was time to go. This was her last night on the island, and then they would board the seaplane and go back to the city. Back home.
Her hands trembled at the thought. Why? She wasn’t afraid to live in the city. Actually, she loved it. So what had changed? This had nothing to do with the changes in Jamie. This was a feeling she alone was experiencing. And it’s one I do not like.
As she and Jamie entered the dining room for breakfast, she found it much quieter. Thank God. I really want to be alone.
She chose a table off to one side. This way if anyone came in, they might not notice her and Jamie. Danielle didn’t know what she was hiding from. Everyone had been more than nice to her. That left only one person she was trying to hide from: herself. Just face it, Danielle, you screwed up. Today you go and apologize, and then move on.
The waitress came to take their order. Danielle asked Jamie, “Eggs and toast?” He shook his head. “Cereal?” No again. “French toast?” Still negative. Please say yes to this. “Chocolate chip pancakes?”
A huge smile crossed his face. She had offered them at home, but he’d always passed on that option. Her gut said it had nothing to do with the cook here and everything to do with his connection to Beckett. Damn, this is exactly what I was trying to avoid. I can’t have him going on a hunger strike when we get home.
Her conversation with Beckett had to be a lot deeper than just an apology. She was going to have to ask him to talk to Jamie, let him know where he’s going and why. With everything that boy had been through already, she didn’t want him to feel another loss. The connection Jamie had with Beckett could mean all the wonderful progress that was made would vanish, or, worse, regress when they left. She would have to do everything in her power to make sure that didn’t happen. How that was going to play out was beyond her. She struggled with the day-to-day stuff, not to mention what to watch for in the coming days.
She knew Beckett would not do anything to intentionally hurt Jamie. That was evident by what she’d witnessed from the boat. Jamie wasn’t the only one on this island who was changing. Beckett might not be aware of his changes, but she was pretty sure his mother was. She was the type of person who didn’t miss a trick.
They had almost finished breakfast when KJ and Drew entered. “Danielle, I was hoping to catch you today. Can you believe how quickly this week has gone by? In just a few weeks we will be fully up and running, with our first families coming to stay with us.”
“You should be proud of yourselves for making this happen. This facility is going to touch the lives of so many people who normally would be separated during their time of need. I can’t thank you enough for letting us attend the family preview.”
“I know you’re planning to leave tomorrow, but we’d like to talk to you before you go. Do you think you could meet me at ten in my suite?” KJ asked.
“Of course. Hey, KJ, you’ve already done so much for me, but can I ask one more favor?”
“Of course, what do you need, Danielle?”
I need some sanity and stability. “I need to see Beckett today to talk about . . .” she looked at Jamie then back to KJ, “tomorrow. If you know what I mean.”
KJ nodded. “I think that’s a wise decision. And I mean for both of them. Take all the time you need. Drew and I will take Jamie and Blossom to the park.”
Both of them? She knew it was going to have a lasting effect on Jamie, but Beckett would soon be back in his own world and forget all about them. That was what scared her. Not for her but for Jamie. She needed to get to him and make him understand. This was so much more than just a week. It was a life-changer, and somehow she was going to make him see that.
The last of the repairs on the emergency response system had been completed earlier that morning. As far as he was concerned, his job here was done. The systems should be online, and anything that errored out should, or could, be handled off-site. Beckett didn’t see any reason to stay any longer. Tonight he would have Gunny get him the hell off this island.
He needed to put as much distance as he could between himself and Danielle. She was making him want things he wasn’t capable of having. She was worried that Jamie was br
oken. He was young and would heal over time. But Beckett wasn’t. His had emotional wounds had built up over the years, and there was nothing he or anyone could do about it.
There was a knock on the door, and before he could say a word, it opened and Rose walked in. She began giving him some well-deserved grief. “Glad to see you’re lying down, finally taking care of yourself, and no prosthesis. Does this mean you’re finally going to listen to the doctors before anything worse happens?”
My leg’s not here, and I’m in pain all the time. How much worse did she think it was going to get? “You’ve come, you’ve seen, now you can go back and report to Mom that I’m a good boy.” His tone was full of sarcasm.
He loved his family, but having all the women in his family in the medical field meant they were never going to look at him without seeing a patient. Beckett understood their feelings, they were caregivers by trade, but he didn’t need or want any of their concern. It had been more than three years, and they still didn’t get it.
“You know she’s going to ask if I checked your leg while I was here.”
“Then tell her you did.”
“Beckett. Are you asking me to lie to Mom for you?” she asked in a joking tone.
“Dig deep, sis. I’m sure you can pull it off. I’ve seen you explain why you missed curfew many times when you were a teenager. If you weren’t a nurse, I would say you should go into acting.”
She gave him a playful slap. “I was lucky I could get a second date back then. They would never say what you said, but somehow after talking to you, most of them never asked me out again. So I think that was punishment enough, don’t you?”
“Yeah, sorry about that. Look at you, twenty-eight now. Even Trent beat you to the altar.”
“I wasn’t worried about being the last one to get married because I never thought any woman would put up with your grumpy ass,” Rose teased. “That was, of course, before I met Danielle. She’s sweet. I like her.”
This game isn’t happening. “Really wouldn’t know.”
Rose laughed. “That’s not what she said when we were on the boat. It appears you’re holding out on me, Beckett. Good thing she was more forthcoming with information.”
Beckett peered at her. She was her mother’s daughter; it was difficult to know if she was telling him the truth or prodding for more information. “Then there isn’t anything more for me to say, is there?”
“Oh, Beckett, you’re no fun at all. I know there’s something going on. Anyone within twenty feet of you two can see that.” She looked her brother over and then in a serious tone added, “Maybe you haven’t figured that out.” When he didn’t say anything, she jumped all over him verbally. “I knew it. Beckett has finally found his match. God, I should have known the moment I heard you were staying the week. Here I thought you wanted to spend some quality brother-sister time when, in fact, all you wanted was to—”
“Enough!” Beckett barked.
Rose’s eyes widened. “Okay, then. Guess this is more serious than I thought. Don’t screw it up, Beckett. Danielle really appears to be a nice woman, and you know all I want is for you to be happy. But you have to want that for yourself, too.”
Happy. Such a simple word that people always used. It wasn’t something you could obtain; it was a state of mind. Beckett knew where his mind was, and it didn’t allow space for happy. The more others told him to go out and find happiness, the further he distanced himself from it. His fallen team members weren’t enjoying life, weren’t living happily with their loved ones, so why the hell should he?
“Rose, don’t you have someplace else to be?”
“Nope. I decided to spend the entire day with you.” She smiled wickedly at him.
Get that plane ready now, Gunny. I need out. “I have to pack.”
“I’ll watch.”
Without getting off the couch, Beckett asked, “What do you want, Rose?” His jaw was tense with frustration.
Before she could answer him, there was another knock on the door. This time, the person didn’t just walk in. “Door’s open, come on in.” Please don’t be Mom.
At least one of his wishes was granted. Danielle came through the door. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you had company. I can leave you two to talk.”
Rose got up and said, “I have so much to do today and was just telling my brother how I wish I could have spent the entire day with him so he wouldn’t be bored.” She smiled at him then turned back to Danielle. “You take good care of him for us, okay?” Just before she left the suite, she turned and said over her shoulder, “Oh, one more thing: Mom said no more flying kites on the beach unless you’re on crutches.”
Oh shit. How did she know? KJ wouldn’t have said anything, and Jamie sure didn’t. Before he could ask, the door closed behind his sister.
Danielle must have noticed the puzzled look on his face because she provided the answer he needed. “When we saw you from the boat, your sisters flipped out. If I had known you weren’t supposed to be up and doing such things, I never would have asked you to watch Jamie.”
He had never thought his actions might be observed from the sailboat. Fucking stupid mistake. Damn, I know better. His only concern then was Jamie’s reaction to trying new things. He had purposely blocked the rest of the world out. Now he had to pay the price for that. Both physically and verbally.
“Don’t listen to them. They worry too much.”
“And you don’t seem to worry at all,” Danielle shot back.
He arched a brow and asked, “Are you here to lecture me, too? If so, you can head out right through that door.”
She huffed at his comment, and instead of leaving, she took the seat across from him. “What you do to yourself is not my concern. I actually came to talk to you about Jamie.”
Beckett sat upright. “Is everything okay?”
Danielle nodded. “Yes, he’s with KJ and Drew right now. But we’re leaving tomorrow, and that’s why I needed to speak to you.”
The week had flown by, and he knew they were going to have to part ways. Hearing her say it brought it to reality. How had he come to care about these two in such a short time? Was it the island that changed everything? He knew he had been battling things differently since they’d arrived, and Jamie, from what everyone has told him, had also changed. If only he knew what, Danielle was experiencing as well. But if it was the island, then it would soon all fade away and everything would go back to the way it was. I hope that’s not the case for Jamie. “I wanted to talk to you about Jamie, too. I have a friend, a very good friend, who is a psychologist. He specializes in working with individuals or families who have suffered a tragedy or a major life-changing event. I think Jamie would benefit from meeting with him. I already spoke to him a few days ago, and he would be willing to take you on at no charge.”
Danielle stood up abruptly. If he’d thought she would be happy that he cared so much for Jamie’s well-being, then he had it wrong.
“Excuse me? Did you say you spoke to a professional and discussed the care I am providing my nephew and was given advice as to what I should be doing?” He opened his mouth to answer, but she raised a hand. “Who do you think you are? You come into his life for a few days and try to take over, first by getting him to trust you like he trusts no one else. What are you going to do next, turn him against me?”
Beckett grabbed a crutch and stood up. He towered over her but didn’t want to intimidate her in any way. She might be yelling in his face right now, but he knew she was hurting. He hadn’t meant to upset her. Just the fact that Jamie trusted him above anyone else must hurt her. She loved that boy with all her heart, and everyone knew it.
He spoke softly and held his emotions in check. Beyond consoling her, he needed to make her understand that Doug could help Jamie. He knew he could. “Danielle, no one questions your parenting. God knows I’m the last person who should have any opinion. When I reached out to Doug, the intention was only to get you someone I knew could help. Somet
hing like what Jamie experienced can’t be handled by just anyone. He needs the best. He’s an amazing kid and will have one hell of a future, but he has to deal with what is haunting him from his past. Otherwise, you might always only have a shell of who he was before.”
She didn’t respond, only stood there staring at him quietly. He wished she would yell again or slap his face. This silence shit was worse. Beckett reached out to touch her with his free hand, and she pulled away. It was expected but worth the try.
Danielle sat back down, looking defeated and sad. “You’re right. I can’t let my feelings get in the way. Jamie deserves the best. Everything that’s happened on this island this week has shown me that there’s hope. I see that when he looks at you. It hurts like hell that he can’t look at me like that. I don’t understand why. I love him more than anything, but he won’t let me in, won’t let me help him get through this. It was bad enough losing my twin sister, but the thought of losing my nephew is more than I can handle.”
Twins. “Doug asked me if you looked like your sister. I obviously couldn’t answer.”
She nodded. “We weren’t identical twins, but we look alike, looked very much alike. Many thought we were identical twins when we went out. It had crossed my mind that maybe I reminded him of the mother he no longer had.”
“You might be right. . If his last imagines of her were after the shooting, he might be afraid to look at you, as it might be triggering a memory he’s trying to forget.”
“So being with me means he won’t ever get better? Is that what you’re telling me?”
Her voice was shaking with pain. “No, babe, not at all. What I’m trying to say is you need Doug. Let him help you. Together, the two of you can bring Jamie out of this. Just trust him.”
“I’ll take the number, but I can’t make any promises.”
Beckett rattled off the number, and she put it in her cell. “What did you want to talk to me about?”
All Bets Off: Betting On You Series: Book Five Page 9