by Jenny Oliver
‘Hey, Zeph!’ Jane called as he strolled away. ‘Go and talk to that guy over there…’ She pointed towards Emily’s Jack. ‘He builds things. Crazy things at festivals and stuff. I think you might find him interesting.’
Zeph paused, looked over towards Jack and then back at Jane. ‘Thanks,’ he said, surprisingly sincere.
‘You’re welcome.’
Will was still a couple of paces away when suddenly the music shut off and Matt jumped up onto one of the garden chairs.
‘Hi, everyone,’ Matt shouted. ‘I won’t take a moment, I just had something I wanted to say…’
All the guests paused what they were doing and turned to look at Matt. Jane saw Annie glance around, confused and a bit embarrassed that he was up there standing on a chair.
Will closed the gap between him and Jane and she felt his arm close to hers as they watched together.
‘So, er…’ Matt paused again. ‘God, it’s actually quite nerve-wracking up here.’
The crowd laughed.
‘OK, I’ll be quick. I wanted to thank you all for coming on this stunning summer’s afternoon. I always think how lucky I am to live on this island and be part of such an amazing community. And it’s a pleasure to have you all here - eat, drink, dance, swim - just enjoy yourselves. But while it’s always fun to have a party, I do actually have a hidden agenda for inviting you all…’
The crowd oohed as Matt reached into his pocket and then, jumping down from the chair, he stood in front of Annie who had started to realise what was going on and had turned a bright tomato red, and said, ‘Annie White, I adore you. You are one of the best things that’s ever happened to me and, well, it would be amazing if you would marry me. Do you want to marry me?’
Annie put her hands over her mouth.
Everyone was silent.
Will nudged Jane on the arm as if it was all very sweet.
Matt suddenly looked really nervous.
And then Annie nodded. ‘Yes,’ she said. ‘Yes I would really like that. Thank you.’
The crowd laughed.
Matt exhaled with relief and then seemed to remember about the ring, fumbling to get it out of the box and slip it onto her finger.
Then he lifted her up in a big hug and everyone cheered.
Jane glanced up at Will to find him watching her.
‘You’re not meant to be looking at me,’ she said.
‘It was fun. All your different expressions as that played out.’
Jane looked away, embarrassed.
The music started up again and they walked over to where Emily was admiring Annie’s ring.
‘Congratulations,’ Jane said, giving Annie a hug.
‘Thank you! God, I can’t stop smiling.’ Annie covered her mouth.
‘Don’t, it’s nice.’ Jane pulled her hand away.
‘It is nice, isn’t it?’ Annie beamed.
‘So when are you gonna get married?’
‘Oh I don’t know. Christmas? I’ve always liked the idea of a Christmas wedding.’
‘That would be so lovely. You could have Christmas trees and mulled wine and loads of fairylights.’ Jane clapped her hands together at the idea of it.
‘Let’s toast the happy couple,’ said Emily, who’d appeared with a bottle of champagne and some glasses. Jack was just behind her, deep in conversation with an awe-struck Zeph.
When everyone had a flute overflowing with bubbles, Emily raised her glass and said, ‘Congratulations Matt and Annie!’ Then wiggling her own engagement-ring finger added, ‘Looks like we’ve got the start of a wedding season on Cherry Pie. I wonder who’ll be next?’ she said with a sly grin, looking directly at Jane who had to look away.
Jane could feel Will watching her, feel him intrigued by the all-knowingness of her friends, their looks and exchanges clearly fuelling the impression that she liked him, if he was ever in any doubt.
Annie rolled her eyes and gave Emily a nudge to stop her winding Jane up, then said. ‘Anyone fancy a celebratory swim?’
‘What in the river?’ Will asked, looking to Jane, who was still blushing, obviously assuming, since the St James’s Park incident, residents of Cherry Pie spent their whole time sploshing in and out of open water.
‘No actually I was thinking just the pool but the river, why not? What the hell?’
Next minute, half the party were stripping off and heading to the end of Matt’s garden where it joined the river. Jane was following behind Will, not quite believing what she’d started. Emily was frowning at the idea of the freezing, dirty river but not about to miss out on any fun. Annie was still on cloud nine, practically skipping into a dive. Zeph was already half naked and running to jump.
The water was cold but the air was warm. The sun hadn’t quite set and Jane found herself lying back and letting herself float. She’d swum in this water a thousand times but never with all her friends. Never like this. With splashing and shouting and people dangling their legs off the bank, hair wet, shivering in their damp clothes, drinking beers while others fashioned some sort of rope swing from one of the trees. Never with someone like Will swimming next to her. Glancing her way and giving her a wink before getting out to throw himself in off the rope swing after his brother.
They all stayed in the water for what seemed like hours. Enough time for the sun to set and everyone in the water to become outlines and shadows.
She was about to get out when she felt Will swim up next to her, wrap his arm around her waist and pull her back into the water.
‘Can we swim to your boat from here?’ he asked, almost under his breath.
Jane shut her eyes. All she could feel was the press of his arm around her. Her back pulled up against his chest, the water lapping around them. The noise of everyone else receding into nothing.
She nodded.
She could feel him smile.
This was another moment. Another chance. And this time she felt confident and it felt right. It felt like it was for her. It felt like the future wasn’t tomorrow but right now, and she wasn’t going to miss out.
No one noticed them leave.
They swam in silence past the boathouse and towards the bridge. She kept thinking of things to say and then not saying anything.
All she could hear was the sound of their arms cutting through the water. Up ahead she could see the white of her houseboat lit up in the moonlight.
There were some metal steps hooked over the side of the boat that she used to pull herself up. Will followed. Walking round to the front she found her spare key in amongst the pot plants, trying not to think of the fact that tomorrow she’d have to go to Matt’s house to pick up her phone, her keys and their clothes.
She paused by the door, turned around to say something to Will. Just to check that this was a good idea, maybe to hold onto the moment a minute longer because out of the water she could feel herself starting to get nervous, shivering with cold and adrenaline. But she didn’t have time to say anything because the moment she opened her mouth, he bent his head and kissed her.
This time he kissed her.
She stood, startled for a second, as he took a step forward and she found herself pressed back against the door of the boat. His hands were round her neck, his thumbs on her cheeks, angling her head up towards him. She could taste beer and warmth and smell the river water on their skin. Draped in shadow, she lifted her arms up and wrapped them round his neck, knowing that she had been kissed before in her life but never like this. His hands moved down to her waist and round her back, one arm pulling her tight towards him, the other taking the key out of her hand and unlocking the door, pushing her back and inside without letting go.
Yesterday Jane had come back from The Ritz and packed up everything of her mother’s from the boat. Everything of her own that she had kept and didn’t need. All the clutter, all the stuff, all the hoards of things that were left from a past life. All the memories of an illness and a struggle. She had taken it all to the charity shop and then cleaned the place fr
om top to bottom. Scrubbed it. And then she had taken the few things that she loved. The hand-block-printed throws that her mum had designed and made and covered the sofa and the chairs. The couple of jugs, the few nick-nacks, the best books and put them on the window sill. She had thrown away the old bedding and replaced it with white cotton sheets. She had rolled up the old, matted rugs and polished the floorboards. Then she had stood by the furnace with a cup of tea, looked around and thought that this was now hers. Her home. Her memories. A photograph of her, Annie and Emily winning the dahlia competition at the Cherry Pie Show was tucked next to one of her and her mum in a canoe, laughing, taken by Enid.
Now all she could think was, Thank God I did that!
Especially when Will paused and pulled back from the kiss for a quick, cursory look around the boat. ‘Very nice,’ he said, then dropped the key on the floor, bought his hand up to the back of her head and she felt his mouth on hers again. This time she wasn’t startled or nervous, or thinking about her spring clean, she was there, in the moment, her arms tight around his neck, her hand in his hair, loving the press of his lips on hers, the taste of him, the smell of him, the closeness, the tightness, the feeling that he just was never going to let go, at least for tonight.
He walked her backwards, his eyes opening for a second to check they were headed in the right direction and, moments later, she found herself falling back with him onto fresh, white cotton sheets.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Next day it was Monday morning. Will had a ten o’clock meeting. He woke up at nine-thirty.
‘Shit. Shit. Jane, I’m late.’
She rolled over. ‘It’s early, don’t worry.’
‘It’s not early, it’s half past nine. Shit. OK, I’ve gotta go and I’ve somehow gotta get my phone and some clothes.’
Jane propped herself up on her elbow and watched him as he searched around for his boxers.
‘Morning to you, too, Will,’ she said with a half-smile.
‘This isn’t funny. Seriously, I’ve gotta get to this meeting. Shit, shit, shit.’
‘Look, it’s fine.’ Jane got out of bed, wrapped the towel round her and went to rummage through her stuff to see if there was anything Will might be able to put on. ‘You could borrow something from Matt when you go and pick up your stuff,’ she said, trying really hard not to laugh when he looked at her, horrified.
The best she could find was a big green Babour jacket. ‘This might fit.’
‘No way.’ Will shook his head. ‘I can’t walk through the island in that.’
‘The only other thing I can suggest is that you swim back. Matt will let you have a shower.’
‘I can’t do that either.’
Jane shrugged. ‘Or you could phone in sick and have breakfast with me?’ she said, biting down on a smile.
‘No, I can’t do that. I’ve really gotta go.’
She felt her smile fade. ‘OK, well take the jacket and there’s a bike leaning up outside that’ll get you there quicker and less people’ll see.’
‘OK. Fine. Right.’ He walked over and took the coat. ‘I can’t believe I’m doing this.’
Jane nodded. She wanted him to say something else. To acknowledge the beautiful night they’d had together. To forget about work for a second and think about her, but he didn’t. He put the coat on, shook his head at his reflection, bent to kiss the top of her head and said, ‘I’ll call you later, OK?’
‘Whatever,’ she said, standing in just the sheet, watching as he went.
Chapter Twenty-Four
He’d bottled it. Will had one hundred per cent bottled it. Halfway through the cycle ride to Matt’s, he’d almost turned around and gone back. All the way through the humiliating scene of borrowing a suit, searching the garden for his phone and keys, waving a smirking Matt and Annie goodbye, he wished he’d just turned tail and gone back to Jane’s.
It had been quite possibly the best evening of his life. The best day of his life.
Everything he had done up to that point seemed immediately purposeless. The work, the business, the lifestyle. He sat in his dad’s office and for the life of him couldn’t say why. It wasn’t even guilt. It was the same sense of misplaced loyalty and tradition that had made his father be at the beck and call of his grandmother.
He was staring out of the window during the meeting and missed the question posed by one of his colleagues.
‘Sorry, can you say that again?’ he asked.
Dolores, who was taking the minutes, looked up and frowned.
Will tried to concentrate. It was tedious.
It wasn’t that he didn’t like being an office, didn’t like working, it was that his every day was spent trying to keep something that should have folded years ago afloat. It was exhausting. Exhausting and pointless. He wanted to be part of something that was energised and about growth and the future. Not strangled by an outdated past.
He was doing this, every day, for a dead man.
He thought about the conversation he’d had with Jane about his brother. How his main objections had really been his brother’s freedom to do as he chose. But didn’t he have that same freedom? His mum knew it was a millstone. It was just tradition. Habit. To a certain extent, propriety.
What was he doing?
Will sat up.
‘Will you just excuse me a moment?’ he said, cutting off a list of demands being read by his aunt’s lawyer. ‘I’ll just be a sec,’ he added, pushing his chair back and walking out of the now-silent room.
‘Shall we have a break for tea?’ He heard Dolores say.
Will ducked into his office and immediately got his phone out and rang Jane.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said as soon as she answered. ‘I’m really sorry. And I know that’s all I seem to say to you but I am. And I’m learning. I just… It’s taking me a while to get all my priorities in place. I had the most… Just the nicest time last night. I-I think it’s all just happened really quick and I keep being a step behind and messing up. So I’m sorry. I just wanted to ring to say that– that I was sorry.’
There was silence on the other end.
‘What are you doing? Are you frowning? Are you mad?’
‘No,’ she said. ‘No I was actually smiling. I’ve just had a coffee with Annie and she told me about seeing you arrive on a pink bike in just a jacket this morning. Now as you’re talking I’m envisaging you like that, and it’s making me laugh.’
‘That doesn’t sound like a particularly good thing from my standpoint.’
‘You should have called in sick or just called in absent. You should have realised what was more important,’ she said.
‘I know.’ He nodded. ‘I’m nodding. I know. I’m just learning.’
He heard her take a breath in.
‘Can I see you again?’
There was a pause.
‘Why aren’t you saying anything?’ he asked.
‘Because it’s really hard.’ She laughed softly then said, ‘I’m going to go away, Will. I have to go away for a bit. I have to go and learn what it’s like to be alone and be OK with that.’
Will swallowed. He moved over to the window to look down at all the tiny people and the tiny cars.
She carried on. ‘The thing is, Will, is that I have this big empty hole that has all the little things that I see and want to tell someone and there’s always been someone to tell. And now I need to learn what it’s like to be alone. To go and see things and just be me.’
Will nodded.
‘Are you still there?’
‘Yes.’
‘Well, that’s what I need to learn. And so I think I’m going to go travelling, use some of my dad’s money to see the world. Find out what I like. What I think. Who I am.’
‘You know who you are. You know who you are more than anyone I’ve ever met,’ he said, looking down to find his hand was clenched at his side.
‘Maybe. Maybe that’s what I’ll learn,’ she added with a laugh. ‘So, the th
ing is that you have your life here. You have your order and I don’t want to take that away. So I think that it’s probably best if we leave it at this one precious night.’
Will sucked in his breath.
‘I’m sorry, Will. See, now it’s me apologising. I just don’t think I could cope with it being more and then going, or maybe even staying because of it. I’m really sorry.’
‘No it’s fine.’ He shook his head. ‘I completely understand.’
When he put the phone down, Will suddenly felt completely shattered. Exhausted. His lack of sleep was catching up with him.
Dolores put her head round the door, ‘Can I get you anything, Will?’ she asked.
‘No, thanks. I’ll be back in there in a minute.’
‘OK. No rush, they’re all having biscuits,’ she said with a laugh. ‘By the way, all the information I could get on that Jane Williams is in the folder on your desk.’ She pointed to the manila folder in front of him. ‘We’re still searching for the father.’
Will stared at it for what felt like minutes, then pulled it forward and opened it up. Clipped to the pages was a photograph of Jane on her boat. He pulled it out and held it up, staring at her. Wondered what he would have thought prior to his meeting with her at The Ritz. That she most definitely wasn’t his type – were her sandals held together with tape? – that she looked too old for him, too serious. He would have dismissed her as plain.
He looked up. Dolores was watching him. ‘Call it off,’ he said. ‘The search for her father.’
‘Really?’
‘Yes. It’s not necessary. It’s nothing to do with this.’ ,With me, he thought. It was hers to find if she wanted it. Her life.
‘OK well I’ll go back to the boardroom.’ Dolores hesitated. ‘Will?’
He was staring at the photograph again. ‘Yes. Yes, of course. I’ll be right there.’
As he heard the door click shut he propped the photo of Jane up against his computer then looked back at the file. On the top of the pile was her birth certificate. Then underneath, information about her mother – medical records that he didn’t want to read. Then a couple of pages about her grandmother. He didn’t want to know any of it. Even touching it felt like he was doing her a disservice, prying behind her back. He stood up, taking the handful of pages that he’d requested and commissioned, and fed them a few at a time into the shredder in the corner of his office.