Lena

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Lena Page 7

by Jacqueline Woodson


  I swallowed. I’d forgotten about Sherry—the girl who’d been Marie’s best friend before I came to Chauncey. I guess they’d gotten to be best friends again. It was stupid of me to think people’s lives stopped happening just because somebody walked out of the picture.

  “Hello?” Marie said again. Her voice sounded different. I opened my mouth but nothing came out. I could hear my heart beating hard against my chest.

  “Lena?” Marie whispered. “Is this . . . is this Lena?”

  I nodded, feeling the tears burn up into my eyes and start pouring out. “It’s me,” I said, my whole face hurting from trying not to cry. “Yeah,” I said again. “It’s me.”

  “Oh my god. Where are you? Where’d you go? Are you all right?”

  “Yeah,” I whispered. “I mean, yeah, me and Dion doing fine . . .”

  “Everybody’s looking for you, Lena! My father called all these people. We thought—I was afraid. They were asking me all these questions . . . I thought—” Marie started crying. I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand and held the phone tight against my face.

  “We all right, Marie,” I said. “Who’d your daddy call? I don’t want me and Dion to get separated—”

  “Where’s Dion? Where are you? I was scared, Lena. My father went to school to talk to Ms. Cory. Everybody’s so scared. I thought something terrible happened.”

  “Dion’s here with me. She’s real good—sleeping now. Your daddy call cops? Are cops looking for us? Our daddy probably got cops all around looking for us.”

  Marie was quiet.

  “Your father’s gone, Lena.” She was almost whispering and even in Miz Lily’s quiet house, I had to hold the phone real close to hear her. “We’re looking for you.”

  “What do you mean he’s gone? Where’s he gone to?” I felt hot all of a sudden.

  “I don’t know,” Marie said. “They rented your house to somebody else. Every time I walk by it, I wonder about you and Dion. I was so sick with worry. I kept trying to tell myself you two were all right. That you got away from your father.” Marie sniffed. “I found that paper you left behind.”

  “The one with our names?”

  “Yeah,” Marie said. “It’s taped to my mirror. I look at it every day and think about—I miss you!”

  Before I left Chauncey I wrote Elena Cecilia Bright and her sister Edion Kay Bright lived here once on a piece of paper hoping somebody would find it and think about us. Remember us.

  “I’m glad you was the one that found it,” I said. Your father’s gone. Your father’s gone. Your father’s gone. The words kept repeating themselves in my head. Once, me and my mama went grocery shopping. I was real little but I tried to lift up this big jar of spaghetti sauce anyway. I dropped it and it broke. That’s what I felt like now—that broken jar of sauce—busted open.

  I sank down against the wall until I was sitting on the floor.

  “Lena . . . ,” Marie was calling.

  “Yeah?”

  “I told my father, Lena. I told him everything.”

  I swallowed. “What’d he say?”

  “You mad at me for telling?”

  “No, I ain’t mad. I just—everybody in Chauncey know?”

  “I didn’t tell anyone else. Just my father.”

  “What’d he say?” I asked again.

  “He said I should have told him before you left—he called a lot of different places but people kept telling him he had to be related to you and Dion if he wanted some information. He was going to make believe he was your father but I told him you and Dion weren’t supposed to be living with your father. He was real upset about it. I think he feels bad that he wasn’t nicer to you and Dion. He said the social service people keep telling him that all they could do is put a search out for you. And when they found you, they’d—”

  “They’d separate us,” I said. “Just like they did the last time.”

  “They said they’d try to find a home for you and Dion. My daddy calls them every day—to see if anyone’s found you two. Where are you, Lena?”

  Your father’s gone. Out of our lives—forever and ever amen. Me and Dion’s leaving hadn’t made him worry and search all over for us. It’d made him free to move on. Maybe I’d never believed a hundred percent that it was just me and Dion left of our family. But I believed it now. I used to say that blood didn’t mean anything but now I was thinking that blood did mean something. My daddy was real messed up but he was all we had. And now we didn’t even have that raggedy thing.

  “My daddy really gone, Marie?” I whispered.

  “Yeah. People at the agency told my father they put a search out for him too but no sign yet.”

  “People disappear all the time. You hear from your mama?”

  “No.”

  “Maybe she’s somewhere with my daddy.”

  Marie laughed, then sniffed again. “Lena, I thought . . . I was scared. I read the newspaper every day looking for signs of you and Dion.”

  “It rained sometimes,” I said. “Those nights it was real cold and felt like we could never get dry. I don’t ever want to sleep outside in the rain again.” Your father’s gone. I felt like I could just go on and on—talk right into the morning. Tell everything. “We was scared that first night but we got a ride from a nice lady and it felt like everything was going to be all right then.”

  “Lena, tell me where you are. My father and I could come—”

  “In Kentucky. This other nice lady—not the one from Ohio—let us stay at her house tonight.”

  “What about tomorrow? Where will you be tomorrow?” Marie sounded desperate, the way she sounded the night me and Dion left.

  “I don’t know about tomorrow.”

  “Don’t leave again. Don’t go somewhere I can’t find you!” Marie sniffed.

  “We’re okay, Marie. For real we are.”

  “You coming back?” Marie whispered. “What about school and being an artist?”

  “No place to come back to, Marie.”

  “You can come here, Lena. To my house.”

  I closed my eyes and tried to imagine me and Dion living in Marie’s big house with her daddy. Tried to imagine us all waking up together and getting ready for school. Imagining it made me smile but I knew it could never happen, not with her daddy not really liking white people and them being so rich and all. Two white girls like me and Dion weren’t gonna fit in that house.

  “I could ask him . . . ,” Marie was saying. “Soon as he gets home from his stupid date. At least let me ask, Lena. He’s different now. Now that I told him everything—it’s like . . . I think he knew there was no way he could keep my mother from leaving but there was a way he could have kept you and Dion from going. That changed him. He really wants to find you and Dion. He told me he wants everything to turn out all right.”

  I swallowed. Outside, I could hear an owl whoo- whooing.

  “You ask him,” I said, feeling real tired now. All I wanted was to climb in bed beside Dion, to sleep peaceful one night before we got back on the road.

  “Give me the number there.”

  I got up and recited the number off Miz Lily’s phone, not caring anymore about the lies we had told Miz Lily. It didn’t matter what anybody knew about us anymore. It was only me and Dion in the world now.

  “Promise you won’t leave there!”

  “I won’t.”

  “Promise me!”

  “I promise.”

  “I’ll call you real early in the morning,” Marie said. “You stay near the phone, okay?”

  “Okay,” I said, feeling a little bad for Marie. She still had a lot of hope and faith. We was real different that way.

  “And Lena?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Lena, I’m glad you and Dion are all right.”

  I smiled. When I was still living in Chauncey, I used to always tell Marie how I wanted to do like this singer Jimi Hendrix and kiss the sky. Having Marie say she was glad I was all right was like kissing the
sky. Knowing there was this person out there feeling glad about us being okay.

  “Yeah,” I whispered. “Me too.”

  Thirteen

  I woke up early to the smell of bacon frying. Dion was still sound asleep beside me, her hair sticking up all over her head. I climbed out of bed and made my way to the bathroom. Miz Lily had left our clothes outside the bedroom door. They were folded real nice. I found my jeans and T-shirt and then took my flannel shirt from the bottom of the pile and went into the bathroom, all the while trying not to think about Marie calling.

  I stood under the shower water a long time, not sure when I’d be able to take another. It felt warm against my back and I let it run over me a little while longer before soaping up and washing my hair again. Figure between the night before and this morning, I’d have one of the cleanest heads in Kentucky.

  When I came out of the shower, Dion was sitting on the toilet all sleepy-eyed.

  “I’m gonna take me another bath.” Her voice was hoarse.

  “Well, take it in a hurry. Miz Lily already got breakfast started.” I finished drying off and started wrapping my band around my chest.

  Dion watched me without saying anything.

  “We getting in another truck today?” She poured some bubble bath in the tub and started the water running. Her hair was kind of sticking up all over her head from her going to bed with it wet and I guess, until I got into that shower, mine hadn’t looked much better.

  I shrugged, finished pulling my clothes on and kind of finger-combed my hair in the mirror. Dion climbed into the tub and started washing herself right away.

  “It was nice sleeping in a real bed.”

  “Yeah, it was,” I said. “I’ll bring you in some clean clothes. Make sure you fill yourself up good at breakfast.”

  Dion nodded without looking at me.

  Miz Lily was on the phone when I came downstairs. I stood there waiting to take it from her.

  “I have to go,” she said quickly. “You just keep an eye out, you hear? I’ll talk to you soon.”

  When she hung up, she looked at me and smiled. “You expecting a call, sugar?”

  I shook my head, feeling the grin leaving. “No, ma’am. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

  Miz Lily nodded. “You sleep all right?”

  “Yes, ma’am. I slept just fine.”

  She had set the table real pretty with a jarful of yellow flowers in the center and these nice sky-blue plates and mugs set down on top of a flowered tablecloth. There was a big pile of bacon beside the flowers and a stack of biscuits next to the bacon. The clock above the refrigerator said eight-fifteen. I looked at the phone, then turned and bumped eyes with Miz Lily.

  A few minutes later, Dion came downstairs, her hair still wet. She pressed the arm of her shirt to her nose, took a deep smell and smiled. “Thanks for washing our stuff, Miz Lily.”

  “You sleep good, Dion?” Miz Lily asked, bringing a bowl of scrambled eggs over to the table.

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “Can I help you with anything, Miz Lily?” I asked, trying to keep my mind away from the phone.

  She shook her head. “Y’all just get to eating.”

  She was wearing an apron. Underneath it, she had on a dark dress with a string of pearls hanging around her neck and nice shoes that matched the dress. Her hair was curled up all over her head.

  “Your hair looks real nice,” I said.

  Miz Lily shook her head and laughed. “Hush, girl. I just throw a few curlers in it at night and see what the morningtime brings.”

  She brought a container of orange juice to the table and filled up three glasses. “Y’all must be so excited about seeing your mama.” She stood there waiting for an answer.

  Dion was sitting chewing on a piece of bacon. She kind of looked at me, then nodded. Seemed like forever ago we’d been in Miz Lily’s car telling her about going to see Mama.

  “Yes, ma’am.” I put a biscuit and some eggs on my plate.

  “You say you talked to her last night?”

  I swallowed. Had I said I talked to her?

  “No, ma’am,” Dion said real fast. “Lena say she talked to the nurse.”

  “And the nurse told her you was coming today?”

  Me and Dion nodded.

  “You don’t by chance know that nurse’s name, do you?”

  “No, ma’am.”

  “You say your mama’s last name is . . . ?”

  “We didn’t say,” Dion said.

  Miz Lily smiled. “Well, my goodness. I’m sitting here in my house with strangers don’t even know their last name.”

  “Bright,” I said. “Lena and Dion Bright.”

  Dion glared at me but didn’t say anything.

  “Pretty names.” Miz Lily went back to the stove. I looked at Dion and shrugged. I wanted to holler it—say, What’s the use of lying about anything anymore? Our daddy’s gone. Get used to it.

  “Hope y’all like grits ’cause I made a pot of them.” She wrapped a dish towel around the handle, then brought the pot over to us. I’d only had grits a couple of times and couldn’t remember them.

  Dion tried not to squish up her face as Miz Lily put two big spoonfuls on her plate, then two more on mine.

  I took a tiny bite. The grits tasted like paste with little bits of sand in it.

  “Uh-uh,” Miz Lily said, frowning at me. “Put some butter and salt on them. Stir it all up. That’s what makes grits taste like anything.” She smiled, put the pot back on the stove and brought a cup of coffee with her over to the table. “Grits are just an excuse to fill up on butter and salt.”

  I sprinkled some salt on them, then put a pat of butter on top. It looked pretty with the yellow melting into the white. Dion did the same thing.

  “Now stir it all up,” Miz Lily said.

  We stirred the grits and each took a small bite.

  “Hey, these taste good,” Dion said.

  Miz Lily smiled. I took another bite, liking the feel of the little grains in my mouth.

  Miz Lily picked up a piece of toast and put a forkful of egg on it. “They taste good when you mix them with some egg and toast too.”

  Dion did like Miz Lily, taking some toast and egg in her mouth then a bite of grits and chewing the whole thing together.

  “I bet I could eat this every day,” she said.

  “Me too,” I said, really meaning it.

  The phone rang and I nearly jumped right out of my seat. Miz Lily gave me a strange look as she got up to answer it.

  “Lena don’t care much for loud sounds,” Dion said quickly.

  Miz Lily nodded, still looking at me. I tried to keep my eyes down on my plate.

  “Rona,” Miz Lily said. “How you doing, sugar? And how’s that grandbaby of mine?”

  Fourteen

  Miz Lily drove us right on up to the entranceway of Bowling Green General. The hospital seemed bigger than a lot of the other ones me and Dion had stopped at and even though it was early, there was lots of people going in and out.

  Dion was sitting up front with Miz Lily. When the car stopped, Dion turned to me. She looked sadder than I’d seen her in a long time.

  “Really appreciate everything,” I said, looking away from Dion.

  “If I wasn’t running late, I’d come in with y’all, make sure you get to your mama—”

  “No, you don’t have to,” I said real quick.

  “Well, let me climb out and give you girls a hug.”

  We all climbed out of the car. Me and Dion lifted our knapsacks on our backs. It was real pretty out, blue and warm. Miz Lily hugged us both real hard and told us to take care of ourselves.

  “Let me write down my number in case anything goes wrong,” she said. She took a small pad and a pen out of her purse and wrote her number down real quick.

  I looked around for a phone figuring I’d call Marie one more time after Miz Lily left, tell her we were gone. That we were on our way someplace else now.

&
nbsp; Miz Lily finished writing her number and folded some money into it. Seemed people were always handing us money. Keep it up, reckon we’d be rich soon.

  I took the money without objecting. We all three hugged again and then Miz Lily’s car was pulling away. Me and Dion watched it a moment, then headed into the waiting room.

  There were white chairs lined up in rows and a desk with a couple of people working behind it. We took a seat in the back of the waiting room and Dion took out her book of maps and opened it up to Kentucky.

  “Figure we head east real early,” she said. “Get to Pine Mountain with lots of daylight left. We could start looking for some of Mama’s people before it gets dark. Maybe get us a nice bed to sleep in again . . .”

  I stared out the window, trying to concentrate on what Dion was saying. Her voice sounded far away, like it was some stranger talking to me from underwater.

  “Hey, girlie . . . ,” I said slowly. “I talked to Marie last night.”

  Dion looked up at me and stopped talking. “She say anything about our daddy?”

  I nodded. “Say he left Chauncey.”

  Dion closed the book of maps and folded her hands over them. She looked slowly around the waiting room. “Where’d he go?”

  I shrugged. “She doesn’t know. Say he left a while ago. The way I figure, he probably ain’t coming back.”

 

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