A Taste of Spice and Splendor

by Lacuna Reid

  There’s only one thing to do – I have to call her. I have to find the right words… to convince her to come back, or at least figure out where she is so we have another chance to get her back.

  This might be our only chance… in this lifetime.

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  Mira

  I watch from the window of the taxi as we pass the fields, the vineyards, the little houses… I could have belonged here. That’s the sad part of this. That’s why I’m crying. I’ve never really belonged anywhere before.

  I almost ask the taxi to turn around and take me back, except I can’t. Finally, after an eternity, we arrive at the train station in Barcelona.

  The building is jarring in how modern it looks, although parts of it must have been built in the sixties or seventies based on the architecture. It’s a stark contrast to the classical feel of El Cielo, breaking me out of the spell of that place, out of the fairy-tale.

  I pay the driver and carry my bags inside. It’s no longer quite so early in the morning and the station is bustling with people. It’s overwhelming after the peace of the past few weeks.

  I wait in line at the kiosk and when it’s finally my turn to be served, I ask for the next train going somewhere cheap. The attendant smiles at me. “Turista” she says. I nod, despite the fact that it’s not true. I’m not really a tourist. This is my life, and I have nowhere else to go. “Somewhere by the sea, yes?” she asks.

  I nod again. The sea sounds good right now.

  The train ticket in my hand says Malaga. I walk towards the platform and sit down in an empty chair. I pretend to read, but really, my mind is just circling around the same panicked thoughts over and over again.

  What the hell am I doing? I’m walking away from the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I’m running away again. I know exactly what Lana would say.

  I imagine finding a small seaside village, getting a job in a café, a little apartment where I can grow herbs on the balcony, so that the place always smells like rosemary and thyme and salt from the sea nearby.

  My phone is ringing, but I don’t want to answer it. All I want is the fantasy of the small village by the sea, even if it’s not a real place. After a few rings, it stops, and something breaks inside me.

  It feels like grief, pouring out through every pore in my body – moved by the knowledge that I’m walking away from a part of myself.

  It’s too late. I tell myself. They’ll be angry that I left without telling them, sure. They put a lot of effort into getting me to El Cielo… they will be mad, and then they will forget me, and I can never go back. The thought is so sad, I can barely move. Even when my train arrives, I struggle to get up. My phone is ringing again. This time, I answer it.

  “Mira, where are you?” It’s Gino.

  “I’m sorry,” I say. “I know you really wanted me to stay at El Cielo but I have to go.”

  “Mira…”

  “Sorry,” I say. “I have a train to catch.”

  I hang up the phone. And climb onto the train, angry at myself more than anything. Why am I always doing this? Always ruining my own life?

  I find a seat and wait. The train arrived in the station early. It won’t leave for ten more minutes.

  The seconds seem to take hours. I’m filled with fear and regret, but I’ve made my decision and there’s no going back now. I don’t know what my life will bring, next, but I’m going to have to figure it out as I go along.

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  Cliff

  Know your enemy. That's always been my policy, my mantra, even if it means throwing away a small fortune. That's how I knew Mira had left El Cielo. I had my guy stake it out ever since she arrived – cameras hidden secretly around the entrance points. They notified me as soon as she pulled out in the taxi and fortunately, I was close by, not away on a trip.

  This is the whole reason why I moved my headquarters to Barcelona. I couldn't miss the opportunity to get back what’s mine.

  I knew when Mira left that I had to be in it for the long game. If I’d gone to her and convinced her to come back home, she would have had the upper hand. Instead, I waited for her to fail.

  She was just about there too when she met them.

  Now, Mira look what you've gone and made me do.

  I wend my way through the crowded station. I've always hated crowds hated being part of the common masses – their filth; the mundane pedestrian ordinariness feels as if it might rub off on me.

  I wasn't born into one of the wealthiest families in order to be ordinary, in order to be with the common folk, to go on public transport. I shudder. But I need to be the one to apprehend her. I’ve run the scenarios in my mind countless times. She won’t go with a stranger. No one knows her as well as I do.

  I check my reflection in one of the shop-front windows; my blonde hair is slicked back as usual. Not a hair out of place. My suit is perfectly groomed.

  Mira needs to be reminded of what she's been missing. Everything must be perfect. I reach into the pocket on the inside of my jacket feeling the hilt of my handgun. It shouldn't be necessary. My word should be enough to crush her into subservience, but it's always good to have a backup plan.

  I'm done with playing the nice guy, with biding my time. I need to act now while she has a chance; while I have a chance. I make my way toward the exact coordinates – where my security team tell me Mira is standing right now.

  It's important that she doesn't see me, not yet. She's standing outside a train looking forlorn.

  I keep my distance. I’ve got to wait for the perfect moment to strike, the way a spider waits for the fly to be caught in his web. The train is my web, and once she's on it, there won't be anywhere to run. Not if I’m right and she takes the window seat the way I’ve predicted.

  She always did have a weakness for the window seat – the illusion of space. Even though the aisle has more strategic advantage if you need to escape an attack. Somebody so used to running away should be posed for escape, but Mira always was a dreamer.

  My father doesn't understand my fixation with her. Move on, he tells me. But I ignore him. He doesn't understand. I want what's mine.

  I smile as she boards the train and as predicted, takes a window seat. I climb on through another entrance behind her, so that she's facing away from me.

  I can see the back of her head. I can see her looking out the window.

  All I have to do is wait for the train to pull away and go and take the seat next to her. I reach into my inner pocket again, feeling the comforting metal.

  I go over the lines I’ve practiced in my head. Mira, look at what you've done. You've ruined it all. Mira, there's no way out now. Come back to me. I'll be generous. I’ll let you in again. I’ll give you everything you've wanted. Mira, I'm here in your time of need…

  I want to walk towards her now, but I have to wait. The train’s not expected to leave for 5 more minutes.

  I take a newspaper from an empty seat and hold it up in front of my face in case she happens to glance this way. I’m not reading it; I’m thinking of the gun again. Hopefully, it won't come to that. Hopefully, you’ll come willingly.

  But if not, I know this is one way to put my obsession with you to rest for good.

  Chapter Forty

  Micah

  The pivotal moments are often invisible especially to those witnessing them. I looked down at Mira on that train. She can't see me. She can't even sense me at the moment. Nor can she see the threat lurking just a few feet away.

  This is one of the moments that her soul chose, before coming into the physical world, before coming to Earth in this lifetime.

  She doesn't feel it yet because there's too much worry on her mind. That's what worry does; it clouds the signal. The anxiety in the brain stops us from getting through to our charges.

  I try to focus in on Mira, sending her golden light, subtly at first. I’m hoping that she'll sense me or at least the importance of this moment.

&nbs
p; It's been a long time since I've taken a physical form. I can remember the sense of density of being crammed into a human shell, the heaviness of it all.

  It's impossible, from the spirit world to really comprehend the limitations of the physical. Just like it's impossible in the physical to comprehend the lightness, the weightlessness I feel, that we all feel here.

  Human beings on Earth are mostly cut off from the sense of unconditional love radiating from all directions, connecting us to all that is in the infinite universe. It's what people call “God”, but it's much bigger and vaster than any physical being can imagine. It's much deeper than even advanced beings understand. I can't begin to grasp it myself, and yet, I can tune in to the warm radiance.

  Focusing on Mira, there's a spot in the center of her forehead where she and some other humans are particularly sensitive. I zone in on it, imagining and creating a ray of sunshine, honing in on Mira, connecting with her in empathy through the chaos and confusion of her mind.

  She really feels like she's screwed it up. She really feels like she no longer can be welcome at El Cielo. She doesn't understand the importance of what happened with her and Theo and she can't imagine that there possibly could be a place for her in his beautiful life and in the lives of the others there, and yet, I know that she has sensed the soul connection between them. That's what's causing the chaos in her mind. It's the contradiction between what she knows in her soul and where her brain is – in a state of complete unhappiness as she over-thinks things.

  I wish you humans would stop over-thinking things… it only ever gets in the way!

  If only she could see it from my perspective for a moment; glimpse the perfection of the alignment between her and Theo and Elias and Gino and Helio; the way each of their souls radiates at exactly the right harmonious frequency for the other.

  This is why they need Mira, and this is why she needs them.

  In a moment, there will be a crux point of this pivotal decision. Mira will catch sight of Theo out the window. She'll have a choice: to go to him and face her fear of rejection or to keep running. Her need for belonging is strong, but so is her self-doubt. It’s impossible to tell which way she will go because despite the wonderful life at El Cielo, she’s so used to running away from her problems. It’s just that the things that frighten her at the moment happen to include the things she wants most.

  I hone in on her with my harmonious energy; creating my ray of sunshine, strengthening it, beaming it to her, showing her my unconditional love.

  She thinks I'm a guardian angel or an imaginary friend, if she still believes in me at all, but she doesn't understand the whole truth. She's one of the rare sensitive souls who can be open to the presence of the spirit world. She doesn't understand that yet either, but hopefully she'll have the chance, if only she faces her fears now. If she doesn't then the other path – running away – will actually result in far more danger, she just doesn't realize it yet. If she doesn't choose to face her fear, then Cliff will surely get her and that will result in yet more devastation. Her chances for this life will evaporate just like they did in all those other lives.

  I can only hope she feels my presence and that she hears me through all the chaos; that she can find it in herself to stand up for the things that she wants the most and stop running.

  I connect with the portion of Mira’s soul left behind in the spirit world. Most people in the physical don't understand that they've only taken some of their soul energy with them while the rest is left behind. It works kind of like a homing beacon, a guiding light, for the soul journey to keep them on track. But the physical disconnects them so much from their soul energy that they have little sense of it while on Earth. This is where Mira’s strength lies despite her young soul age, her sensitivity has the power to transcend the usual limitations… if only she could see it

  This is it. She sees Theo out the window. This is the moment she needs me most. I let the light flow out around me; I shape the energy into beautiful cascading patterns; flowers blooming; stars being born; falling leaves; ripples on water. I send wave upon wave of this beautiful energy in all the colors of the rainbow towards Mira now, hoping that it will be enough to set her back on the right course.

  Chapter Forty-One

  Mira

  I look out the window at all the passing people – some tourists that look American, with bum-bags and bright colored T-shirts, gorgeous Spanish men who remind me of Helio or Theo… there’s someone who looks so much like Theo that I have to double take. He’s running around the station, looking around… holy crap… it is Theo.

  Theo is looking for me!

  He can’t see me. There’s a sadness in his eyes, a desperation. Oh Theo… could you really be here for me? I’m clouded with insecurities and self-doubt, but I can’t look away. A strange feeling comes over me. I close my eyes and see flashes of green and gold… I can’t see Micah now, but I can almost sense his presence, as if he’s watching over me, willing me to stand up… to face my fears… to go to Theo.

  What am I doing here? It’s as if everything falls away, every fear, every excuse, and there’s just me, and Theo, and the sad look in his eyes, and that’s when I realize that his need reflects my own… that what I really want most in the world is that sense of belonging that I found at El Cielo, that sense of home, and there’s no reason in the world big enough for me to run away from it. That’s when I realize what I must do.

  I stand up, even though the train could leave any minute. I grab my backpack, and walk towards him.

  “Theo!” I call out. He turns towards me, stumbling over himself in his efforts to get to me. He wraps me in his arms, lifting me off the ground.

  “Mira… my Mira,” he whispers into my neck. Then he leans back and looks into my eyes. “I can’t believe I found you!”

  “How did you find me?” I ask, leaning into Theo, feeling confused and excited and flustered. He was looking for me… he came after me…

  “Gino called – said you were probably here, catching a train… leaving… I had just arrived back in Barcelona. I was at the airport and came straight here.”

  I look at Theo, unable to comprehend the pain in his eyes or understand why it is that it mirrors my own feelings. I barely know this man and yet right now in this moment, he is everything.

  “You’re leaving us?” he asks, his deep voice hoarse with emotion.

  I try to nod, but there’s a stone in my throat that feels like grief, and I can’t seem to move my neck.

  “It’s… my ex. He’s caught up…”

  “Mira,” Theo says, looking into my eyes… and all of a sudden, I feel silly for believing even for a moment that this very genuine man was ever playing some kind of cruel joke on me, messing with my mind and heart to drive me back to Cliff.

  “We will protect you,” he says. And I believe him.

  “Theo…” I need to know the truth. If he’s not working for Cliff than what’s the big secret. Why does it seem like the guys were all looking for me, what’s really going on?

  “There are things we haven't told you about,” Theo says, reading my mind. “I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t want to overwhelm you. But now I see that I was foolish. I have been meaning to tell you, remember – we have a meeting tonight.”

  I nod.

  “Come back with me, Mira, please. Give me one more chance to prove myself to you. Give us all a chance, and if you still want to leave…” Theo says, looking away, as if he can’t bear the thought. “If you still want to leave, I’ll get you a ticket – anywhere you want to go… Just one more chance.”

  “Okay,” I say. My train is pulling away anyway and the look on Theo’s face is equal parts grief and love, and I can’t leave him here like this, and now… more than ever… I need to know what the hell is going on.

  Chapter Forty-Two

  Mira

  There’s a chill in the air tonight; it must be a sign of the coming Fall. I arrive at Theo’s office at seven to find all the gu
ys there. Calista has just brought up some roast lamb and vegetables with sourdough bread. I didn’t realize how starving I was until now. I can’t even remember the last time I ate. We dig in, savoring the delicious food, as Theo lights the fire in the corner, near the bookshelves and sofas.

  I want to sit next to Theo, but he takes one of the green velvet arm chairs, so I take the other one, and the rest of the guys sit on the big sofa… the same one that I fell asleep on a few nights ago, in Theo’s arms. I watch him pour brandy from a decanter into small crystal glasses, and wonder if he still wants to be close to me, the way I want to be close to him. He seemed so intimate at the train station but he’s back to being distant and quiet again. I crave his touch, but this is clearly not the right time, so I sit on my hands.

  Theo clears his throat after passing out the brandy. I take a sip of mine and then wait for him to speak as the sweet spicy liquid burns down my throat.

  “Mira, it seems we all owe you an explanation,” Theo says. “But more than that, we all need to share the things we know so that we can build understanding between us.”

  “Okay…” I say.

  “Why did you leave?” Elias asks, and there is pain in his eyes that is much older and deeper than I expect.

  “My… my ex,” I say. My voice trembles. “I found a note from him. He was… he was controlling… to the point where he wouldn’t let me leave the house without him. He’s a wealthy, powerful man and he’s caught up to me, somehow. I… I freaked out.”

  “His note, what did it say?” Gino asks.

  “He… he mentioned you,” I tell Gino. “Like he knows you, and I…”

  “You thought we were connected to him somehow,” says Gino. “Who is he? Tell me his name.”