“It’s kind of fun having him around, isn’t it? Like having a little brother,” Nico commented.
“I guess, but I’m an only child. And you have real little brothers, right?”
“Right. And I took your advice and talked with all of them. And all my sisters.” He paused. “And my parents. They’re going to drive down to Florida when I have to appear in court next week as a show of support.”
That statement made an actual pain shoot through my chest, because the authorities in Florida still weren’t dropping the last of the charges against him. I rubbed at it while Nico filled me in on what his family was up to. Much of it I already knew, because I had been talking to them also. I liked them all a lot, and they were coming up to Michigan for a big reunion this summer, which I was already planning to coincide with the grand opening of the bakery. Nico would love my plan, when he found out about it.
“You’re not worrying about me going to jail, are you?” he asked, glancing over again.
“For the last time, it’s prison!” I said irritably. “I wouldn’t say I’m worried, but yes, I’m concerned. It’s a thought in my mind, anyway.” I still had a few escape plans for us in my back pocket, plans which now involved unstaffed crossings into Canada instead of Salvador’s boat. “You’re not worried at all?”
He shrugged. “I feel like things are going so well. The lawyers finally okayed an interview, so that reporter from CompleteSports will be here this weekend. The PR people are saying that will be a huge boost, me telling my side of things before I go in front of the judge. As much as I can legally say, anyway, and without getting anyone else in trouble.” He looked at me again. “I was going to wait to tell you something else, but it seems like you need a pick-me-up today, and I have more good news.” He grinned. “The Leviathans contacted Ethan about me playing there next season.”
“Really? In Wyoming?”
“I still won’t be able to wear flip-flops in the winter, but it’s back in the Confederation. And the head coach is on board, if the charges get dropped,” Nico said.
I looked out the car window. “That’s wonderful, Nico. I’m really happy for you.” My chest hurt more, though. “You’ll get just what you wanted. We have to work really hard to make sure it happens for you.”
He didn’t say anything else, but I felt him looking at me a few more times as we drove.
Nico always got a lot of attention when we went to the gym, and it was even more today. However people had been feeling about him right after the arrest, they seemed to have very short memories. Or maybe it was just his good looks, or maybe it was that he had singlehandedly pulled the Junior Woodsmen out of the gutter in their last game; whatever it was, Nico got mobbed when we went into the gym. I took pictures of him talking and smiling with people, signing autographs. Then I got on a treadmill, but I couldn’t seem to bring the speed up above a walk without coughing so hard that the woman next to me gave me a disgusted look and moved.
When Nico extricated himself from his crowd of fans, he came and ran next to me for a while, and that same woman shoved about ten people out of the way to snag the treadmill on his other side. She started up a conversation about football that involved a lot of flirting on her part and some laughter on his, and I got down and went to stretch on my yoga mat in the corner. I lay on my back and tried to take a deep breath. Probably I wasn’t going to get the endorphins I had been needing.
“Tates? Tatum?”
I heard Nico, and I felt him touching my shoulder. My bed had never been so uncomfortable, and I was freezing. I wiggled myself awake and it made me cough. “What time is it?” I slurred. “It feels like the middle of the night.”
“Tatum, you’re sleeping on the floor of the gym,” Nico told me.
That made me open my eyes. “I am?” Shit, I was. It explained why the mattress had felt so hard. And there were a bunch of people watching me, watching the two of us. “I didn’t sleep well last night,” I explained, and sat up.
“I think you’re really sick,” he said. “You look terrible.”
For his part, Nico looked great. A little flushed from his light workout, some manly sweat, the sleeveless shirt to show off his arms, the shorts that displayed all the muscles of his legs. No wonder there was a crowd milling behind him. “I’m fine,” I announced. “Finish your stuff and I’ll wait here.”
“No, let’s go home.” He held out his hands and pulled me up. “You sure you’re ok? You seriously look bad.”
“I’m fine,” I hissed, as several women told him goodbye and there was some giggling. “Here,” I said, and gave him some hand sanitizer out of my gym bag. Just in case, I didn’t want him to get any germs from me. He had to play well tomorrow, to make sure he was going to be able to get back in the Confederation. To be able to move to Wyoming.
Teddy came over to the apartment, again, and they worked on game strategy until dinner, when Nico knocked on my bedroom door and told me that I should eat. I was still in the gym clothes, minus the uncomfortable bra, and still wearing his sweatshirt which came down around my knees. I turned up the heat as I walked by the thermostat but both guys started to make comments about saunas, deserts, and living on the sun, so halfway through the nutritious pregame meal we’d had delivered, I went to turn it down. Then I sat in my chair and shivered.
“I’ve never heard you so quiet,” Teddy said. “I mean, I’ve never seen you not talk.”
“I’m just tired,” I explained. And I yawned for good measure and pushed food around with my fork.
“Tates, I was thinking of having the team over after the game tomorrow. To hang out, relax here,” Nico said. “Are you up for that?”
I shrugged. “It’s your apartment. Sure, why not?” I stood and picked up my plate. “Thanks for dinner.”
Nico followed me back into my bedroom. “Is it just that you’re sick, or is something else wrong, Tatum? You’ve been a little, I don’t know, strange. Ever since I got back from the road trip.”
I thought about what Daisy and Knox had told me when I had called them after Nico’s game in Toledo. How Knox had said that he had seen Nico at a restaurant with a woman the week before, how Daisy had asked around and found out from another Woodsmen spouse that Nico had been hanging out with the same woman, a Woodsmen Dame cheerleader. Of course I had investigated her, and she was gorgeous. And very, very tall.
I didn’t have a leash on him, or even a tracker hidden in our rental car to see what he was doing during the day when we were apart, but even so, I didn’t really take anything they told me very seriously. I knew Nico. Maybe he was talking with other women, but that was what people did in this world—we interacted. I myself had had conversations with numerous men in the past few weeks that meant absolutely nothing. Except none of them ranked on the attractiveness scale anywhere near where that Woodsmen Dame existed. But Nico and I were meant to be, I knew that.
Then Chara had sent me some pictures that were being posted to his accounts, some sweet memories of what the Junior Woodsmen had been up to in Toledo after they won their game there, and those pictures had made me think. In fact, for the past few days, I had been in pretty deep contemplation about everything, deep in contemplation and also deep in snot, because of my nasty cold. There were a lot of things for me to consider, and on top of it, here was Nico ready to move to Wyoming. I hadn’t heard my own name mentioned when he talked about it, not once. Yep, I had a whole lot of contemplating ahead of me.
“I guess I am a little sick, maybe more than just a cold,” I told him. “You should keep away from me, to stay healthy.”
He sat down on my bed instead. “I don’t like seeing you like this. It’s like what Teddy said, I’ve never heard you so quiet. We won’t have the team over tomorrow if you’re not feeling good.”
“No,” I said, scrambling to sit up. I had to think from a coach perspective. “No, you should. You have to keep the forward progress going. You need these guys to work with you so you have a great season, to make i
t back into the Confederation. Don’t you want to go to Wyoming for training camp this summer?”
Nico looked at me. “I don’t think you should come to the game tomorrow,” he said. “Stay home out of the weather and rest.”
“I’m going to come,” I told him. “I want to see you play.” He smiled at me. “You’re my client, after all,” I continued. “My business depends on your performance.”
The smile fell away. “What happened today?” he asked. “I just have the feeling that you’re not telling me something.”
I worked on making a braid in my hair. “It’s not a big deal, but I called my dad,” I said. “Like you did with your parents. I’ve called him a few times, but he won’t talk to me. Today he had his receptionist say that he wasn’t available. I thought he might answer to Ermengarde der Lügen, a rich real estate investor interested in his business, but he knew it was me.”
“Oh. Tatum,” Nico said, and sighed.
“That’s how he is,” I said. “I’m cut off. He doesn’t want me around anymore, I get it, because he’s embarrassed and afraid.”
“Afraid of what?” Nico asked me.
“Of what I’ll do. But I did have things to say to him.” I sighed also. “I’m glad I gave it a good attempt so I can tell Lucy and she’ll stop bothering me about family connections and all that.” She had been on my back a lot about how important it was for me to try again with my dad.
“Man. I’m sorry. I can’t imagine anyone ignoring you this way.”
“You did.” I looked up at him. “Before I came down to Miami, you did, too. Remember?”
Nico looked back at me for a minute, then slowly nodded. “I guess I did.” He stood. “I’m sorry about that, and I’m sorry about your dad.” He quietly left my room, turning out the lights behind himself.
I tried to go to sleep, but it was a lot harder than it should have been, and then in spite of my insomnia, the morning seemed to come way too quickly. I lay in bed, groggily listening to Nico getting ready for the game and leaving the apartment. Then I got up myself and put on so many layers of clothing that I looked like a volleyball. With my height, maybe more like a tennis ball.
And when I got to the Junior Woodsmen field and saw the wives and girlfriends eying me, I started thinking that maybe Nico had been right, and I shouldn’t have come. Usually, I would have stood right up to those ladies and told them hello with a big smile, a smile that subliminally said that they could go screw themselves if they gave me any problems. Today, I just wanted to be quiet and unobtrusive, which was not my MO at all.
“Tatum!” The woman I had talked to at the last home game, Juliet, walked down the bleachers. “I almost didn’t recognize you under all those clothes. Can I sit next to you?”
“It’s a free country,” I greeted her.
She laughed. “You’re a real firecracker! That’s what we’ve all been talking about.” She gestured over at the other women, and some of them raised their hands to wave in our direction.
“Oh? You were discussing me? Why are you the only one actually talking to me, then?”
Juliet looked serious. “I guess I’m sort of the team envoy to you. They were all a little worried last week, thinking you’d be snotty or…something. With your boyfriend coming from the Woodsmen, the big league, that is, and then with his, um, troubles.” She flushed a little.
“Nico and I aren’t criminals or anything. He isn’t, for sure. And I’m not snotty, except about butter. I’m very particular about that since I started baking.”
Juliet nodded. “I’m sorry about how everyone acted. We all are.”
I nodded back in gracious acceptance, because I didn’t feel the need to fight with anyone today, and I waved to the other women. “Where is everybody? Small crowd of families today,” I noted.
“Oh, the last game was really unusual,” she told me. “All our friends and neighbors, everyone we knew showed up to watch because of Nico. Most of the guys on the team aren’t married yet, and hardly any of them have anyone special, either.” She stood. “Want to meet the other girls?”
I coughed. “Sure,” I said, and I spent the rest of the game sitting with the six other women besides Juliet who represented the significant other side of the Junior Woodsmen, and that number included two of the coaches’ wives. They were very curious about Nico, and very curious about me, too. I talked mostly about my bakery, because that had been a real bright spot for me this past week. And I watched Nico dominate again, and in person it was even more clear how out of place he was on this team. No one on the defense could even put a hand on him once he caught the ball, and with Teddy more confident and accurate, the Junior Woodsmen won again. The crowd was wild for a while after the clock went to zero.
“I hope you guys will come over later,” I invited the small group of women. “Nico asked the whole team, I think.”
They looked at each other. “I’ll stop by,” Juliet said. “We had the idea that it was going to be a typical football party, but obviously it won’t be, not with you there. You know how single guys act when they’re alone,” she explained. “Like in Toledo.” The rest of the women nodded in unison.
I nodded back because I knew what she was talking about, and I said goodbye. Nico was already getting interviewed by Herb and Buzz, the radio duo, and there were other reporters there, too. He was making headlines again, but this time for good things, and I was glad. He stopped talking and waved when he saw me and I watched him for a while, as he smiled and answered questions, so at ease with the microphones in front of his face. He was pretty much made for the spotlight.
I walked to the parking lot to wait in the car, where I fell asleep against the window before Nico even made it there.
Chapter 14
Lonely? Sad? Depressed? Frightened that you’ll always be unloved? Bitter and angry as life seems to pass you by, as you age with nothing to show for it, as you wake up every morning with only yourself and a useless, smelly cat in your bed, as you wonder how on Mother Earth you’ll fill the long, boring hours until it’s appropriate to open a bottle of wine?
You have LESS THAN ONE WEEK of Morning Musings left on your current subscription plan. What will you do without your daily does of wisdom, love, and encouragement? Do you think the cat is going to give them to you?
Yours in reminding, Mysti
This after-game party at our apartment was not a casual, relaxed hang-out with teammates. It had quickly gone college frat kegger-style except that it was the middle of the afternoon, and everyone was older and (except for me) bigger. Music blared through our apartment and most of the Junior Woodsmen were guzzling beer like they had never tasted it before. It took me right back to my freshman year, hitting party after party, and the thing with the uncut rubies and the tunnels under East Lansing…it was a story for another time.
Juliet and her husband Braylon had stopped by, but they headed home almost immediately when she saw that it was, in fact, exactly what she had thought it would be: Toledo all over again, when social media had recorded almost all the Junior Woodsmen getting lap dances, drinking shots, and generally behaving like idiots. That hadn’t included her husband, but Nico had definitely been at the strip club, celebrating with the guys.
There he was in pictures from numerous angles, tilting back a little glass of clear liquid, there he was with a woman in a pearl G-string grinding on him, with her making the O-face as if just being on his lap had given it to her. It was just like his life before he got traded to the Cottonmouths, before I came into it again. Maybe he wanted to get back to that single, carefree, Tatum-free life. Maybe that was what made him the happiest.
Chara and I had discussed the pictures, and without consulting him, had decided that the best thing to do would be to ignore it all and keep posting our own stuff like nothing had happened. We were blind to it. I certainly wished I had never seen it, that was for sure. Even thinking about the look on that woman’s face...
“Isn’t it better to know?” Daisy had
asked me. “Wouldn’t you rather be aware of what he’s doing?”
“No,” I had told her. And I still thought so. Living with Nico, having the unshaken belief that things were going to work out between us, that was much better than where I’d been since I’d seen that he’d cheated. Cheating was exactly what he had done, I’d had to explain to Daisy, because she had defended him a little.
“You guys aren’t really together, right, Tatum? I mean, in your mind, you are, but in his mind, maybe not? So it isn’t really like he’s stepping out on you…”
“It was exactly that. He and I are meant for each other, and he’s cheating us out of our future while sticking his face between some woman’s tasseled pasties.”
“I see what you mean, I guess,” she had said, and then looked at me for a moment. “You’re not taking this like I thought you would. I was afraid to tell you about him seeing the Woodsmen Dame because I thought you’d lie in wait and try to kill her.”
I had found out every bit of information I could about her and had done a few drive-bys of her house, but no, I hadn’t actually touched her. Not yet, anyway.
“You seem…” Daisy thought for a moment. “Accepting?” She shrugged. “I’m glad I don’t have to stop you from physically harming anyone, but I’m a little alarmed by it.”
“I have a lot of thinking to do,” I had explained, but even with all my thinking, I still hadn’t come to any conclusion about my future with Nico. No one really understood where I was coming from, not Chara, who kept saying that Nico was just like Pirro, her horrible ex. Not Daisy, who still mostly thought that I was out of my mind about him. Not Lucy, who ended every conversation by urging me to come back to Miami, move in with her and Chara, and leave Nico in the dust. I had been so clear about Nico and me but now it felt like I was back in the mudpuddle where I had fallen after Teddy’s bad throw. And at the moment, most of my body seemed to be aching just like my ass had after that incident.
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