But there's another side too.
Images from their past crowded his memory. The obedient apprentice painting the same boring image over and over, unable to break free. The lovely lady cowering in a fine restaurant as hideous memories stole her reality. The repressed artist afraid of her own passion running away from him. The delicate woman in pale pink, bent with shame, confessing her sorrow. Julianne was almost unrecognizable from the girl she had been, but that girl was still there holding her down.
His mind sank into a dark place, somewhere between grief and fury, as he grasped what was happening. Military daddy would not approve. He must have disliked loud music or even worse, disallowed this type of free expression.
Just another reason to hate him.
How could Julianne expect him to react to anything she did in the same way as the Colonel? Did he actually have to tell his lover that she shouldn’t associate any experience with him to her past? Obviously he did, but something told him words wouldn’t penetrate beliefs fostered over years.
So be it. If she can’t hear me, she will see me.
He stepped into the room and began to undress. Julianne watched with wary eyes. When he was stripped down to his boxers, he reached for the remote. The music came to life around them and he began to dance for her, swinging and swaying with the rhythm. Or at least trying to move with the rhythm. Dancing wasn’t exactly his thing. He knew he looked ridiculous, but he went on trying to communicate with his body.
Julianne looked confused, like she couldn’t process what he was doing. Flashing his most dazzling smile, he reached for her hand and pulled her into the dance. He gyrated his hips, gave her an exaggerated wink and twirled her under his arm. When she turned back to him, those perfect lips curled into a radiant smile. One he would carry in his heart for the rest of eternity.
Julianne was laughing as she started to dance again and oh my, could she ever dance. But it was the gratitude in her eyes that left him breathless.
16
New Friendships
“Nico, where have you been hiding this exquisite female?”
Julianne hid her nervousness behind a smile as their urbane host showed his appreciation with a long look over her body, then took her by the hand like a perfect gentleman. Nicolai warned her that his friends were a very polite, but uninhibited group.
“Come, Julianne. You must meet my sweet Jeannette.”
She noted the possessive epithet as Alphonse guided her into the apartment. The home was stately, almost as impressive as Nicolai’s in its décor, but not nearly as large, and the art collection, magnificent. Pieces were displayed everywhere, several clearly Nicolai’s work.
All eyes fell on her as she entered the room. A stunning woman in a white dress threw her arms around her as if she’d known her for years. “Bienvenue, Julianne.” Jeannette’s sophisticated voice rang out as she turned to the other guests with a wide smile. “Everyone, meet Julianne. The one who has stolen our Nico’s heart."
After an onslaught of hugs and kisses, Julianne whispered to Nicolai, “Why do they all act as if they know me?”
“They’re my friends. I couldn’t resist a little bragging.” He gave her a shy grin. “I guess I got carried away.”
Wow. He bragged about me. Shouldn’t it be the other way around?
Alphonse and Jeannette, their hosts, made a lovely couple. Nicolai said they’d been married for five years, but the way they cooed at each other made them look like newlyweds. They were both surgeons. If that wasn’t intimidating enough, there was Gregory, a financier, Alana, an heiress turned professional fundraiser, Hannah, a coryphée with the Ballet de l'Opéra de Paris and George, who owned one of the most well-regarded private vineyards in France. Nicolai’s friends weren’t exactly ordinary folk, but then again, you couldn’t put the word ordinary in a sentence describing anything about Nicolai.
Everyone smiled and laughed, completely at ease with one another. Julianne couldn’t miss their obvious affection for Nicolai or how he basked in the pleasure of their company. No one made her feel like a newcomer to their intimate group. In fact, they all seemed delighted to have her among them. Apparently, she was the guest of honor.
After drinks in an opulent sitting room, the group entered a formal dining room for their meal. An antique chandelier covered in dozens of flickering candles hung above a round dining table, the ethereal light a perfect complement to the warmth of the group. Julianne sank into a plush velvet chair between George and Hannah. She didn’t mind not being seated next to Nicolai. This was her first chance to meet others in the Order and her curiosity burned hotter than all those candles.
For a while, she sat back enjoying the banter. Each person shared something about themselves. The others listened and then the table burst into a bustle of responses. Whether they were congratulating, commiserating or simply commenting, they were all supportive and encouraging.
After Nicolai proudly announced, “Julianne sold her first piece this week,” everyone started chattering at once.
“Congratulations.” Jeannette.
“What is your next piece?” Alphonse.
“Well alright.” Hannah.
“Why did you sell it, you fool? It will be worth so much more when she’s better known.” Gregory.
“Be careful, Julianne, your talent will threaten those stuffed shirts at les Beaux-Arts.” Alana.
“Brava.” George.
Julianne couldn’t get over how genuinely happy the group seemed for her. After all, she was a virtual stranger. She tried to place credit where credit was due. “Thank you, all. I have an excellent teacher.”
Nicolai beamed and George leaned over to whisper in her ear, “I’m so glad you’re here, Julianne.” He nodded toward Nicolai who was sandwiched helplessly between Alana and Gregory while they debated the merits of preserving a local park. “That smile on his face belongs to you and we have all waited a long time to see it.”
“Thank you, George, but I’m the one with the bigger smile.”
“I’ll bet,” Hannah chimed in. “I know I’m being terribly forward, but...”
George interrupted with a laugh, “Watch out, Julianne. Hannah is American. Here it comes.”
Hannah shot him a playful look. “I prefer to be introduced as a Texan, darlin’. So, how did ya do it?” Her voice was suddenly exaggerated with a thick drawl, obviously for George’s benefit.
“Do what?”
“Land Nicolai, silly? There are ladies boo-hoo-hooin’ all across Paris tonight.”
Julianne must have frowned or something because Hannah quickly added, “I’m sorry, Julianne. I didn’t mean to offend you,” and looked to George who reprimanded her with his eyes.
“Nico is yours now, Julianne, do not doubt that. You wouldn’t be here with us if he wasn’t. I think what Hannah meant to say was we are happy Nico has finally found someone to share his life. He’s been alone in our midst for too long.”
So there was a distinction between a lover and a lover who belonged to the Order. And there was something else too. George was a Dom; Hannah, his sub.
To ease the tension between George and a very remorseful looking Hannah, Julianne quipped in her best attempt at Hannah’s accent, “There’s no need to apologize, Hannah. I can’t believe it myself sometimes. I mean honestly, y’all, look at him. Is he not yummy?” She rolled her eyes to the ceiling as her hand swept toward Nicolai.
Everyone laughed.
The appreciation in Nicolai’s eyes told her that she’d done the perfect thing. Hannah smiled brightly. George leaned back in his chair and barked in a loud voice, “If I’m not mistaken, I just saw Nicolai Stavros blush for the first time in my life.”
The laughter got louder.
Jeannette’s cultured voice rose above the others. “Speaking of blushing, who’s going to Giovanni’s party? It’s Sabin’s fantasy and I know it will be fantastic.”
Everyone else was going. Julianne made a mental note to ask Nicolai why they weren�
��t.
As individual conversations settled in around her, Julianne leaned over to Hannah and whispered, “Who are Giovanni and Sabin?”
“Giovanni is an Italian Master who throws really elaborate shindigs and Sabin is a very fine cowboy. One of the big three who run the whole shebang.”
Julianne wanted to laugh. Hannah was a true Texas rose, but some of her expressions were just silly.
“Have you met Darion yet?” Hannah asked.
“Not yet, but I hope to soon.”
“Be prepared for that meeting, sugar. That man is gorgeous, but lethal. I spent one night with him. It was really hot and really, really painful. He trained Nicolai you know. By the way, ya doin’ okay with the rough stuff? If you need any help dealin' with it, you can always call me. We all support each other that way, ya know.”
Julianne had at least one question for every word that fell from Hannah’s lips, but before she could ask any of them, Alphonse’s voice caught her attention.
“Where is our Jacques tonight, Nico?”
“In Japan with Darion. He’ll be back for the opening on Friday.”
Julianne decided to start there. “Do you know Jacques too?”
“Of course I do, sugar. How can ya be Nicolai’s lover and not know sweet Jacques?”
Julianne wondered the same thing. In all the time she’d spent in Nicolai’s gallery, she’d never seen Darion or Jacques, the two most important people in Nicolai’s life.
“Jacques has been away since I moved in with Nicolai. Nicolai said I’ll meet him at the opening.”
Hannah accepted that answer without question. This group, Nicolai included, clearly accepted the segregation of their lives between those within the Order and those outside of it.
“You’re in for a real treat. I mean sexy with a capital ‘S.’ Jacques is charismatic like Nicolai, but more like Darion in the playroom. One of the best Doms in the bunch.”
Cher Dieu. Hannah had been with Darion and Jacques. Had she been Nicolai’s lover too? Julianne studied the petite blonde sitting next to her. Hannah was lithe and graceful as a dancer would be. Straight hair fell in light wisps around a sculpted face. Large pale green eyes made her appear childlike, but judging from her words, Hannah was no innocent.
Julianne glanced at the other women seated at the table. Each was unique, yet equally lovely. Jeannette was a bit older and the classic French woman. Sophisticated, stylish and very sexy. Alana was also sophisticated and charming, but not as oh là là as Jeannette. Had they shared Nicolai’s affections? Were they better lovers than she was? She wondered how they saw her.
Nicolai cleared his throat to catch her attention. You are the most beautiful woman in the world, his eyes said before he shifted them to Alphonse. She followed the path of his gaze. Alphonse looked at her with the same admiration. And Gregory. And George.
She smiled, quietly contemplating the dawning realization that she wasn’t simply beginning a relationship with Nicolai. She was beginning a relationship with the Order too.
The rest of the evening passed quickly. She and Nicolai were the first to leave, much to the disappointment of Jeannette. “You’re going to miss all the fun,” she pouted, tickling a suggestive finger under Nicolai’s chin.
“Another time, I promise. For tonight, I want to get Julianne home to bed.” He kissed Jeanette on the lips.
Julianne grinned. My wolf isn't talking about sleep.
*****
As soon as Brent closed the car door, Nicolai shifted in his seat and kissed the crest of Julianne’s forehead.
“A very wise person recently taught me how important it is to express gratitude. Thank you for tonight. It meant so much to me.”
“You’re welcome.”
“How was your first evening with the Order? Was it what you expected?”
He hated lying to Julianne, but he couldn’t tell her the truth. This evening was nothing like what she should have expected. Well, the dinner party was, but the abrupt exit before the party really began certainly wasn’t. Julianne wouldn’t really be included unless Xavier agreed. Telling her that would only scare her, so he didn’t.
“Yes and no. I understand why you chose them as friends though. I think I fell in love a little bit with each one,” Julianne said with a smile. “I don’t know what I expected really, but I’ll admit I’m relieved at how normal they are. Nothing like the people at the Dungeon.”
He nearly choked. “The Dungeon. When have you ever been there?”
“I went there a long time ago. I met a man named Lucas. He introduced me to the lifestyle.”
“Did he touch you?” Nicolai asked in a low sort of growl.
Julianne pressed her hand against his chest. “No. And without trying to make you any more jealous, we talked a lot about sex and Dom/sub relationships.” She emphasized the word “talked.” “He was the first person to tell me that I didn’t have to hide who I am. He said submission is sexy.”
Nicolai relaxed and nuzzled her ear. “I couldn’t agree more.” Leaning back to flash his eyes at her, he added, “And I am not jealous. I’m possessive. There’s a difference.”
Julianne’s eyes dropped. “Can I ask you something?”
“Of course. Anything. Anytime.” He didn’t like that she was still so uncomfortable talking to him.
“How did you become a...” She hesitated.
“Dom?” he finished her question. “That’s actually not an easy question to answer. Although, I suppose to a certain extent, it’s very simple. I am what I am, just the way you are what you are. Experience has a lot to do with it. The way I was raised. When I got to Eton, I knew for sure. We were just a bunch of spoiled boys playing kinky games, but I liked it. After I met Darion, I pursued the lifestyle more aggressively and joined the Order. I’ve never known anything else.”
Julianne seemed to accept what he said and her gaze drifted past him as she absorbed this new information. He knew full well that she wanted to ask more.
“I need your honesty,” he prompted and leaned into her sight line so she would have to look at him.
Uncertain eyes met his. “What would have happened if we stayed?”
He tried to hide his surprise at her insight behind an amused tone of voice. “I don’t think you’re ready for that, Beauty."
It was a mistake.
“I suppose that’s the same reason we aren’t going to Giovanni’s party?” she huffed.
“Believe me. You’re definitely not ready for that.” This time, there was a bite in his voice.
“Those aren’t answers.” Julianne sounded annoyed, but resigned to the fact that none would be forthcoming.
In any other situation, he wouldn’t tolerate being second-guessed, but Julianne asking questions was actually an improvement. At least he knew what was running through her mind. He felt perfectly justified in sheltering her until she was ready for more, but she would never be ready unless he started teaching her.
And he didn’t have to say a word about Xavier Talbot to do that.
“You’re right. They’re not. If we stayed, we would have ended up in Alphonse’s playroom. Probably watching. Maybe doing more. As for Giovanni Secco, he and his ‘pretty toys,’ his term, not mine, live in Capri. He hosts one extravaganza every year. It’s a fantasy party. Anyone in the Order can send him a description of their fantasy and if he chooses yours, you get whatever you asked for. It’s pure decadence.”
“Will we ever do those things?”
He couldn’t glean whether either appealed to her. “Yes, when I think you’re ready, but you’re not.”
The comment should have ended the discussion, but Julianne pressed on. “Because you think of me as a little girl.”
The snap in her tone showed her frustration. The words showed her insecurity.
A hint of reprimand slipped into his voice to correct her negative view of herself. “I do not think of you as anything but a sexy, alluring, irresistible woman. We aren’t going because you’re a no
vice. It’s my responsibility to take care of you. It’s your responsibility to be honest with me and trust that I will.”
“Do you have a playroom?”
He hadn’t wanted to end the evening on a sour note, but that question presented an opportunity he couldn’t pass up. Julianne had to learn to walk before she could run. He planned to teach her a lesson on limits soon anyway and this was the perfect introduction.
He steeled himself and introduced his overeager sub to a heartless Dom. “Turn your back,” he barked.
The dynamic between them instantly changed.
Without hesitation, Julianne turned. He yanked her hair and began plaiting the strands into a tight braid at the base of her neck. Her head jerked back with each harsh twist. He preferred the seduction of playing with a woman’s hair, but what he was doing wasn’t meant to seduce. He wanted Julianne to feel dominated and afraid as he conjured the most horrific ghost from her past. When he finished the weave, he trailed the long plait over her shoulder and felt the memories consume her.
The braid coiled around my neck like a hideous snake wrapping its prey, holding me helpless to be devoured by the coming pain.
Unzipping her dress, he exposed her back and scraped fingernails in horizontal lines over the skin. Cruel, tactile reminders of that pain.
“Face me.”
She turned, but this time with a hint of hesitation. Shielded eyes watched as he lifted his hips, jerked the belt from around his waist and held the doubled strap to her lips. She regarded him passively, not moving, not saying anything.
“Kiss it,” he snapped while silently praying she would find the courage to rebel against his sickening suggestion.
Julianne bowed her head and went completely still. The reaction pierced his heart and simultaneously convinced him that this had to be done.
“You will disobey me, girl? A good sub kisses the whip in gratitude before it kisses her. I gave a command. Do not make me repeat it.” The words were a blistering shard of ice.
Masterpiece (The Masters of The Order Book 1) Page 22