by T. Isilwath
A few minutes later she had caught another fish and was happy to head back to camp. She gutted the second fish and field dressed the rabbit, then washed her hands and started back. Akihiro followed and she noticed that he kept himself behind her, in the submissive position.
‘Come to think of it, he’s very timid and he’s flinched almost every time I’ve touched him. If I didn’t know better, I’d say he was an abuse victim.’ She remembered the scars on his back and frowned. ‘Maybe he is an abuse victim.’
If he was, it would explain a lot.
Back at camp, she began laying the fire so she could cook their breakfast.
Akihiro tried to be helpful by gathering wood from her pile of accumulated deadfall, but she was worried that he would strain his belly wound again.
“Osuwari,” she told him, pointing to a spot near the fire pit.
Akihiro stayed silent as she prepared the meal, turning his head and keeping his black-tipped fox ears trained on her at all times. They were always moving, swiveling this way and that, perking and dropping with his interest and state of mind. She noticed that he always lowered them when she approached him: another sign of submission if her understanding of dogs was any judge.
Foxes were canines so it stood to reason that their body language would be similar.
When the fish were done, she skinned them then gave one to him on a plate with a set of chopsticks and a cup of water. He lowered his eyes as he accepted the food from her and gave her a soft thank you, then she sat next to him and ate her own fish as the water in the pot on the fire-grill began to boil.
“Itadakimasu,” she said, saying the traditional Japanese blessing.
“Itadakimasu,” he repeated and began to eat. “Ah, oishii,”
“Arigatou. Nan demo nai,” she answered.
She realized that he probably had almost as many questions as she did, but the language barrier severely limited them. She wanted him to help her learn and speak better, but she wasn’t sure exactly how she should ask him. It would mean a great deal of fumbling about with the dictionary and would require a lot of patience. She also didn’t know how long he could stay with her. It was probable that he had a home and maybe a family that would miss him. He might want to leave as soon as he was better, and then she might not ever see him again.
The thought made her sad and she focused her eyes elsewhere. She hadn’t really noticed her loneliness because she had been so busy just trying to survive, but now that she had a guest, she realized how empty the camp had been with just herself living there. She’d been contenting herself with the company of the trees, and finding solace in the occasional overheard conversation, but it wasn’t the same as actually spending time with another person. In that respect, she had been completely alone.
For the first time in her life, she had felt what it was like to be alone, and it had been a wholly unpleasant feeling. She couldn’t remember a time when she’d been truly on her own. She’d always had someone; even when her family was killed, Elisi had been there along with the others who welcomed her into the Long Hair Clan. In the first weeks after 9/11, she hadn’t been left alone for more than a few minutes. At first she thought it was because they feared she would try to join her family, but then she realized that it was because they felt she shouldn’t have to go through such terrible grief by herself.
Sorrow shared was sorrow halved, so the people closest to her grandmother had gathered around and did their best to help where they could. Elisi had lost a daughter, a son-in-law and two grandchildren as well, and she was suffering too. Food was prepared, the house kept clean, and there was a constant stream of volunteers who sat with them and kept them apprised of events in New York.
Neither she nor Elisi dared to go to Ground Zero, and they didn’t know what they would have done if they had. Instead, ceremonies and dances were held to pray for the dead and bring healing. Elisi still had the sacred medicine pouch that the Elders had presented to her, and she kept it underneath her marriage stick on the mantle above her fireplace.
Despite the terrible circumstances surrounding Akihiro’s arrival, she was glad that he was there, and even more glad that he had survived his ordeal. If he had to go away when he was fully healed, she knew she would miss him.
‘Maybe he can stay long enough to help me find out when I am.’
She needed a distraction from her sudden dour thoughts so she put the rabbit in the pot with the chopped vegetables. It would cook for a couple of hours and make a nice rabbit stew. After a while, she would take the rabbit out, cut the meat off the bones and put the boneless, bite-size pieces back in.
Her insulin pump beeped as her blood sugar came back up, and she knew that it would now administer the insulin she needed. Akihiro’s ears came up at the noise, but he didn’t ask about it, which was fine because she didn’t have the words to tell him what it was anyway.
After they had finished eating, she took the plates and utensils down to the stream for washing and scrubbed the frying pan. Akihiro stayed behind this time, and when she returned she found him seated in the same spot where she had left him, looking a little nervous and worried.
“Doush'tano?” she asked.
“Suwaru yoh ni ittanda,” he replied, a confused look on his face.
Now it was her turn to blink and she shook her head. “Nani? Wakaranai.”
“Su-wa-re,” he simplified and pointed to the ground he sat on.
“Eh?” she said, then her eyes opened wide when she realized that he had taken her literally when she had told him to sit. “Ah. Gomen.”
“Watashi… Hara no kizu wa… Suwari wa dame desu.”
“Hontou ni?”
She nodded. “Hai.”
“A, sou,”
When Akihiro visibly relaxed, she decided that it might be a good time to ask for his help.
“Sumimasenga, tetsudatte kuremasuka? Nihongo o benkyou shitai desu.”
“Ore?” he replied, placing one hand on his chest.
Please help me.>
He stared at her for a full five seconds, then replied haltingly, “Watashi…
Hai, tetsudau.”
She let out a sigh of relief and bowed to him. “Arigatou gozaimasu.”
When she looked up at him again his face was pale and he looked visibly shaken, and she had the feeling that she had missed something important.
“Nanda?”
He shook his head and turned his eyes away. “Ii yo. Shimpai shinaide.”
“Daijouka?”
“Un. Watashi wa.”
“Hai.”
Whatever it was, it was obvious that he wasn’t going to tell her about it so she wisely dropped the subject. Since the rabbit had been boiling for a while, she now took it out and cut the meat off the bones. Then she added more wood to the fire and put the boneless pieces of meat back into the pot.
“Ban gohan,” she said, pointing to the stew.
“Un. Oishisouna nioi ga suru,” he concurred.
&nb
sp; “Hai.”
She figured that they would stay at the camp until late afternoon then go hunting. She wanted more ground birds, hopefully snaring something larger than quail this time, but it was better to hunt for them either at dusk or at dawn.
She almost wished Japan had turkeys. But while they might not have turkeys, they did have ducks. It was possible that she could snare a duck with his help.
She wouldn’t need too many words either. All she would have to do was tell him “duck” and pick up her hunting gear, and she was sure he would understand.
With a contented sigh, she lay back and stared up at the swaying branches above them. She yawned and twisted to crack her spine back into place because it was giving her a little bit of discomfort. She was also still operating on a sleep deficit and one night wasn’t going to make up for it. The gentle waving of the leaves and branches was lulling, as were the steady vibes of contentment coming off the trees, and she closed her eyes, letting herself drift.
“Ainu desuka?” Akihiro asked her, breaking the silence that had fallen.
“Eh? Nani?” she asked, jerking back awake.
“Ainu?” he repeated and pointed to her.
“Chotto matte,” she replied and went for her dictionary.
She retrieved the book, then sat next to him and looked up the word.
‘The Ainu (a word meaning "man, people" in the Ainu language), are an ethnic group inhabiting the northernmost islands of Japan and the Kurile and Sakhalin Islands. They are recognized as the aborigines of Japan because they kept to traditional folkways… He’s asking me if I’m a member of this group.’
“Iie, Ainu ja nai no. Atashi wa Cherokee,” she answered.
The look on his face was comical, and she could see him trying to figure out just how he was going to attempt that word. She hid her smile behind her hand so he wouldn’t think she was laughing at him.
“Ch…Chee-roou-keeeee?” he stammered. “Nanda yo?”
She must have looked frustrated because his expression changed from one of expectation to one of guarded fear, and he dropped his eyes.
‘He’s afraid of me, isn’t he? Why is he afraid of me?’
“Gomen,” he whispered. “Sore ni tsuite tazunete wa ikenai.”
“Ii yo betsu ni,” she replied.
“Wakatta.”
“Akihiro wa kitsune da?” she asked, changing the subject.
He looked up at her, his head cocked in confusion.
“Iie. Watashi ga hanyou da.”
“Hanyou?” she repeated. “Hanyou towa nandesuka?”
“Nani? Shiranee?”
She shook her head. “Iie. Onegai? Hanyou towa nandesuka?” she asked again.
“Chichi-ue wa kitsune. Haha-ue wa ningen. Han-kitsune ja. Hanbun ningen,” he explained slowly.
I am half-kitsune. Half-human.>
Her eyes opened wide in understanding. ‘He’s half-fox!’ “Ah! Wakatta! Ii desu ne!”
“Eh? Fuukyoh da no?” he blurted, obviously stunned.
“Nanda to? Wakaranai,” she asked, not understanding his reply.
He shook his head and looked away in disbelief. He seemed upset and confused, but she wasn’t sure why. She knew it had something to do with what she had just said, but she had no idea what she had done to upset him.
“Akihiro?”
“Watashi ga hanyou da,” he said softly. She raised an eyebrow and tried to figure out what he was getting at. “Hai.
Akihiro wa hanyou. Wakarima shita.”
He was silent for a moment as if trying to work something out, then he asked in a small voice, “Hontou ni daijoubu?”
‘Is he asking me if it’s okay for him to be a half-fox? Why would he ask that?’ The answer suddenly struck her, and her heart filled with sadness and sympathy. ‘Because he’s a half-breed. Half-human, half-kitsune.’
And now so much of his behavior made sense to her: his fear, his use of respectful pronouns, his immediate obedience… It was obvious that he was unused to being treated as anything other than an animal, and he kept expecting her to hurt or reject him. She could sympathize with him because she had also suffered the bigotry of ignorant, narrow-minded people. Most of the time it was Anglos who had watched too many old Westerns, but a few full-bloods had looked down on her. Elisi had always said that their prejudice was not part of The Way, and that they had allowed White values to cloud their vision, but that hadn’t made their distain for her any easier. Her fox’s plight struck close to home, and she felt an immediate kinship with him.
‘He’s like me. Half-Indian, half-Anglo. Shunned by Anglos and full-bloods alike because of my mixed blood. I’m probably the first person to treat him like a human and not like the dirt beneath my feet.’
She reached out and touched his arm gently. He looked at her, surprised, and his frightened expression made her ache inside.
“Hai. Daijoubu desu. Atashi mo.”
“Eh? Nani? Omae wa ningen da.”
Each from two worlds, but belonging to neither.’
She waited for her words to settle in, and she knew the moment that they did because his fear melted away to be replaced by amazement and hope.
“Sou ka. Wakatta,” he finally said.
“Yokatta.”
“Doitashimashite. Nan demo naiyo.”
“Hi,” he said and pointed to the fire.
“Sou ka. Arigatou,” she answered and put more wood on. Once the fire was back up, she sensed that Akihiro needed some time to himself. No doubt he must be feeling very confused by everything that had happened, and time to digest it all without having to be concerned about her presence would probably do him some good. It was still several hours before they could go hunting so she decided to take a nap and let him be alone for a while.
“Akihiro. Nemutai desu,” she told him.
“Hi? Tabemono? Ban gohan?” she asked, making motions of watching the fire and stirring the stew.
“Hai. Hai. Wakatta.”
“Moenai shi,” she warned.
“Hai. Hai.”
“Arigatou.”
She gave him a brief rub on his back between his shoulder blades, ignoring him when he automatically tensed up.
‘Poor thing. And he’s so sweet-tempered and timid. How long has he been hated and abused?’
She picked up her dictionary and looked in it for the words she needed.
“Me ga sugu sameru,” she told him.
“Ja ne.”
He gave a little grunt of agreement, and she smiled at him before retiring to the hollow. She noticed that his bed was rumpled and that it needed fresh straw.
‘We’ll do that after I get up,’ she decided as she took off her moccasins and crawled into her sleeping bag. ‘I’ll only nap for a little while.’
She was asleep almost immediately.
Chapter Five
‘So, she’s asleep,’ he thought, relaxing when he heard her breathing slow.
That was good because right now he was so confused he didn’t know what to do with himself, and it was probably better for him to be alone just to deal with all of it. Not only had she not known what a hanyou was, but when she did find out what it meant, she had said that she was one too. He knew she wasn’t a half-demon, but she then had explained that she was only half Chee-rooou-keee.
“Cher-rrooouuu-keeeee,” he repeated, trying to get the word right. ‘What is that? She said she isn’t Ainu, but yet she isn’t like any of the humans around here. And she’s only half whatever that is. Does that mean the other half is Japanese? But if it does, why doesn’t she speak it? Could it be that she was raised by these Cher-ro-kee? I don’t understand.’