by C. S. Wilde
“Please don’t say that.”
“I didn’t mean it like… fuck, Mera. I can’t handle this.” He rubbed his forehead. “Focus on your case. We’ll talk when we meet again.”
“Bast—”
He shut down their link.
Chapter 15
The next morning, Mera followed the boulevard lining the river Tigris, her mind adrift. She hadn’t slept well, and when she’d arrived at the precinct, she couldn’t bring herself to face Julian. It sucked, since they had to meet Emma Morrigan, his CI.
Sure, they’d exchanged the essentials, ‘Morning. Ready to go?’, but that was all. Now, an awkward silence hung between them.
Julian walked beside her, his hands in his jeans’ pockets, his squared jaw set tightly while the wind tousled his blond hair.
This situation would blow up. Soon. Better get things out of the way now, or their case could take the hit.
“Sorry I left in such a hurry last night,” she muttered quietly. “I screwed up badly. Actually, I’ve been screwing up for a while.”
Julian didn’t glance at her, but his expression softened. “Yeah, you ran for your life after we kissed. Doesn’t boost a guy’s confidence, you know.”
“Nonsense. You have plenty of confidence.”
“Sometimes.” Giving her a proud wink, he shrugged. “Did I do something wrong?”
“No. Of course not.” She focused on the way ahead. “It’s just… we shouldn’t have kissed. I’ve put duty first my whole life, and lately I’ve been losing my mind because of it. I’m sorry you got caught up in my mess.”
“You’ve always stuck to the rules. It was bound to come out at some point.”
“What?”
“That thing inside you.” He pointed to her chest. “The wild beast.”
‘Not wild, exactly.’ Her siren seemed flattered. ‘Feral, maybe.’
“I won’t lie, Mer. I was scared shitless when you ran away. I thought you liked the kiss.” Horror overtook his features. “Oh, God. Don’t tell me that I forced—”
“You didn’t.”
The kiss had been a means to an end; a stupid, stupid idea to keep Bast as her partner. Because of it, Mera had ruined everything between them. She’d monumentally fucked up her relationship with Julian, too.
They stopped before a building with a peeling beige façade. The old wooden door seemed ready to splinter with the first knock, and the faded sign painted above it spelled out ‘Bookshop’.
“Do you want to try it?” he asked. “I mean, this. Us. Will you give us a chance?”
Mera watched him, not knowing what to say. “Can we not do this right now?”
“Bast knew we were kissing through your mind link, didn’t he?” he pushed, his mouth contorting into a bitter line. “That’s why you ran away.”
Mera gawked at him, but Julian was a great detective. She shouldn’t have been surprised, really. “Things aren’t that simple.”
“Yes, they are. I can’t go on this merry-go-round with you anymore.”
‘Amen, brother,’ her siren cheered.
He was right. Keeping the truth from him wasn’t fair. If Bast was a firestorm that would char Mera to her bones, then she would burn. She couldn’t keep running away from her feelings—away from him.
Hurting Julian, though… She didn’t look forward to that.
“I can’t be with you,” Mera admitted quietly, facing the truth that had been there since the moment she’d met Sebastian Dhay. “It wouldn’t be fair to anyone involved, including myself.”
Julian frowned, his lips opening and closing into a reply he couldn’t frame.
“We’ve been through a lot over the years, Jules,” she continued. “Thing is, Bast and I went through so much more in so little time. It’s hard to explain…” She scratched her temple, fully aware of how badly this was going. “Look, screwing up doesn’t begin to describe what I did to you. I can only hope you’ll someday forgive me, though I don’t deserve it.”
Bast had seen who she truly was, and he’d killed to keep her safe. No, not just killed. He’d slaughtered for her, and that wilderness inside Mera, the ravenous siren, swooned at that.
She and Bast were two beasts of the same kind, monsters in sync. Julian, on the other hand?
He was no beast.
“Ever the diplomat, Mer.” He stared at her for a moment before studying his own boots. “Fine. Friends, then. Probably for the best.”
Oh, he was angry. Julian had every reason to hate her, but the idea left a void in the pit of her stomach. Mera opened her mouth to spew yet another apology, but he spoke first.
“Let’s focus on the case, okay?” Turning away, he knocked on the door twice.
“What is it?” a muffled voice came from the other side.
“It’s going to rain.”
Odd, considering the clear sky above.
“I hope you carried an umbrella.”
“Never do, but I did today.”
The lock clicked open, and a tall woman answered the door.
Her blond hair was so straight it resembled a golden waterfall. She carried herself proudly. Her azure eyes were contoured flawlessly by onyx eyeliner, which matched her lipstick. Fangs poked her lower lip. Her imposing presence reminded Mera of a lion, or a snake. Actually, both.
The fact that she stood there in broad daylight meant she must be either incredibly old, or powerful as shit. Mera couldn’t guess which. She did catch the faint whiff of her magic, though. It smelled like old strawberries and musky red wine.
Eyeing Mera with suspicion before finally stepping back, the female allowed them inside.
The creaking sound of their steps on the wooden floor reverberated around the room. The bookshop was empty. Dark wooden bookshelves filled the stuffy space with old tomes that reeked of aging paper and moth shit.
Only then did Mera notice the red, velvet curtains near the windows had been partially drawn closed, drenching the space in a penumbra.
The vampire slinked to the store’s checkout desk and propped herself up, sitting on the counter right next to the brass checkout machine that had to be at least two hundred years old. “What’s your business here, Julian?”
“Nice to see you too, Em,” he cheerfully countered, then motioned to Mera. “This is my partner-for-the-time-being, Mera Maurea.”
Did he have to specify it like that?
“Naturally,” the vamp said, her gleaming sapphire irises focused on Mera. “Not that she’s famous, but everyone in the Underground knows the face of one of Hollowcliff’s finest.” She frowned at Julian. “Where’s the hot fae?”
“I wouldn’t say he’s hot,” he grumbled under his breath.
“Detective Dhay is busy,” Mera answered, then cleared her throat. “Emma, I’ll cut to the chase. There’s a threat looming over Clifftown, and the Underworld will get the first hit.”
Crossing her arms, the vamp arched one eyebrow. “Will it?”
“We’re afraid so.” Julian took the lead. “You see—”
“He has feelings for you, Detective Maurea. You must be aware of that, since you don’t strike me as the clueless type.” Emma studied Mera as if her eyes were an X-ray machine. The vamp clearly toyed with her, trying to gauge her reaction. “Julian may lay with me and half of the city, but he’ll always have you in his heart—one way or another. A mighty conquest, I dare say, for someone so… basic.”
Julian’s cheeks flushed so hard they might explode. Well, he shouldn’t be sleeping with his CI’s, but like hell Mera would mention that now.
“This isn’t awkward at all,” she stated matter-of-factly. “Also, not basic. Not even close, bitch.”
The bloodsucker smirked, seeming satisfied with the answer, before turning to Julian. “What’s today’s threat, then? It’s always something, isn’t it? Enemy covens, challenging packs, sneaky humans trying to steal from me…”
“It’s worse,” Mera guaranteed. “We’re talking about a red pill. A narco
tic we believe is being sold in the underground.”
“I’m not against recreational drugs, Detective.”
“It’s infecting people.”
Emma laughed loudly, the shrill sound jabbing at Mera’s ears. “How can a pill infect someone?”
“It’s real, Em,” Julian assured. “A necromancer found a way to spread her essence through these drugs.”
“That’s absurd!” When she noticed how serious they were, her forehead crinkled. “Are you sure?”
“One hundred percent,” Julian countered. “We need to find who’s distributing the drug.”
“Even if that’s true, what do I care?” She feigned nonchalance. “I’m already dead. The necromancer can’t command me.”
True.
Emma’s vamp magic would block any attempt the necro-bitch made to control her, but Mera had seen Green do impossible things before.
“A town infested by undead can’t be good for business, can it?” Julian argued. “Besides, you’re in the human borough for a reason. We gave you immunity and helped you escape your old coven. Should I give Richie a call?”
“Fuck off, Julian,” she snarled, her eyes flashing bright yellow for a second. “I’ve been cooperating with the police for years, haven’t I?”
He merely shrugged.
“Do you think I’m threatened?” She curled her lips, showcasing her sharp fangs. “I know you, Detective. I know your heart and it isn’t cold, though sometimes you wish it was. You won’t do shit, Julian Smith.”
“Try me, Em.”
They stood there, staring at each other, the tension of their hidden battle thrumming in the air.
“That’s enough,” Mera jumped in, snapping them out of it. “Emma, we need help. We wouldn’t be here if the situation wasn’t catastrophically bad. Besides, with a town full of undead, how will you feed?”
That definitely appealed to her, but it was clear the vamp wouldn’t give in easily. She simply wasn’t the type.
“I could find other ways to feed.” She shrugged nonchalantly. “I can be resourceful, Detective.”
“Stale, clotting blood must indeed be delicious.”
The vamp shuddered, her lips curling in disgust, before she hunched over. “All right, you win. Your guy’s name is Rob. He tried to sell red pills to a group of young girls in my territory two nights ago.”
Finally, a big lead!
“Where can we find him?”
“That’s the million dollar question, isn’t it? At first, I thought he was affiliated with that pig, Hatchford, but it turns out Rob tried to sell in his turf, too. We joined forces and tried to track him, but he’s probably carrying a witch’s medallion to hide his location.”
Mera spun around, hands on her hips. “Great. Another dead end.”
“Not entirely,” the vamp countered. “Rob enjoys living dangerously. He can’t stop defying us, so we’ll spot him sooner or later. I’ll send a warning to my crew and Hatchford’s. If he shows his face, I’ll let you know.”
“Thanks.” Mera studied the vamp for a moment, then the stuffed bookshelves around them. “Why did you choose this façade for your business?”
“You humans rarely read anymore. You’re too busy checking your phone screens. Such a pity. ”
“I’m with you on that.” Mera observed the heavy tomes that were probably older than the vamp herself. “So, what’s your business’ specialty? Blood contrabands?”
Emma frowned at Julian. “You didn’t tell her?”
“Didn’t come up.”
“Aha.” Emma raised her brow before turning to her. “I re-sell magic, Detective Maurea. The spells and trinkets my associates buy for a bargain in Tir Na Nog are worth a fortune here in Clifftown, where magic is more tracked and controlled.” She cocked her head to the side, seeming to consider something. “I sell drugs too, though not these red pills you speak of. I only work with the best product in the market.”
Selling illegal magical merch was a type-two felony with a punishment worse than for drug dealing. The fact Emma operated under the radar, especially when it came to black market goods, was nothing short of remarkable.
Truth be told, Julian should have arrested her a long time ago, but a good CI was worth their weight in gold, and this certainly seemed to be the case with Emma. Mera hated admitting it, but she felt a hint of admiration for the scoundrel, though she would never say it out loud.
Emma jumped down from the checkout desk, then stepped closer to Julian, running a hand over his shirt. “I suppose this is the end of our meeting. I’ve got places to be.”
He nodded, his focus on her mouth. “You have my number. We’ll be waiting.”
“As always.” She winked at Mera before stamping a kiss on his lips.
He didn’t pull away. Didn’t kiss her back, either.
And for the first time in years, Mera didn’t care.
Chapter 16
After the last couple of days she’d had, Mera needed a nice, hot bath. The worries about her case, her fights with Julian and Bast, the shitstorm called Her Entire Freaking Life—they would be waiting for her tomorrow.
Tonight, she would relax. Mera couldn’t remember the last time she’d done it.
Flicking the lights on, she stepped into her one-bedroom apartment and closed the door behind her.
The space might be small—rent in the city cost a fortune—but she’d turned it into a home. Basic white furniture decorated her living room, and the light gray and pearl colors of her open kitchen matched the palette. A furry gray carpet covered the floor, spreading under the big, white sofa and the glassed coffee table that faced a small LED TV attached to the wall.
The plants her mom had scattered around the space gave the apartment a nice, fresh feeling. At the time, Mera had wondered how the toughest Captain in Tagrad could have such great taste in interior design.
“It’s fun,” Ruth had explained. “Besides, you’re my cookie. I have to ensure you’re living decently.”
Dropping on the couch, Mera leaned her head back to stare at the ceiling. She was there to forget, but her last conversation with Bast lingered in the back of her mind.
“Bast,” she attempted through their link for the thousandth time, knowing only a gut-wrenching silence would greet her. “Answer, you dickwart.”
If only she could hear his voice, feel his presence. Even if he closed their link immediately after, she would be happy.
No answer.
She deserved the silent treatment, of course. Mera had behaved like a total idiot. Kissing someone else had destroyed their relationship, plus her friendship with Julian, all in one swipe.
‘Remarkable job, really,’ her siren grumbled.
Yeah.
Mera was a free woman and could do as she wished, but she’d hurt Bast when she tried to stop what was brewing between them, thinking it could save their partnership. There should be a picture of her next to the definition of “screw up” in the dictionary.
Holding back the need to cry, she took a deep breath. “Bast, please…”
“What?” his slurred tone came through from the other side, his voice slightly muffled.
Mera’s heart raced, but she kept her composure. “H-how have you been?”
“You contacted me for small talk?” He laughed as the image of a wine glass lifting in mock cheers flashed in her mind. “Seems like a waste of our time.”
“Talking to you isn’t a waste of time.” She bit her bottom lip. “Look, I don’t know what I was thinking. I was so scared of us, of this connection I can’t explain or understand, that I obliterated our partnership.”
“You’re not prone to fear. Also, you obliterated more than just our partnership, didn’t you?” His finger tapped the edge of his wine glass. “What’s that word humans have for those abhorring energy plants near Clifftown?”
“Nuclear?”
“No, it’s something else. Ah, yes! Radioactive.” He chuckled. “Radioactive Mera. Seems about right.�
�
She held back the tears prickling her eyes, trying to mask the pain stabbing her in the chest. “Dickwart.”
A lump knotted in her throat. No, in his throat. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be such a baku. It comes so naturally to me.”
“Especially if you’ve been drinking.”
“Clearly.”
“Is Corvus with you?”
She felt him taking another sip of his wine, the taste smooth and velvety on her tongue. “He collapsed on the sofa a while ago, along with Ben. They can’t take their alcohol, you see.”
In a flash, Mera spotted an enormous fireplace, the flames flickering around white marbled walls. Corvus and Ben were curled together on a black leather sofa next to where she sat—where Bast must be sitting. A fluffy carpet made from black bear fur spread under her feet.
“I doubt it.” She chortled. “Ben is a borderline alcoholic. You could never beat him in a drinking game.”
“Yet, I did.” He let out a wistful sigh. “I suppose I had reason to exaggerate, didn’t I?”
The reason being Mera.
“So, you’ve been partying,” she sent the bait, her heart shrinking to a dot.
“In a way. Moving on would help us untangle from this mess. We do good work together. A few nights of tomfoolery with others should improve our perspective, don’t you think?”
Bast with another female? Her breaths turned shallow, and a cold sweat bloomed on her forehead.
‘Kill the bitch,’ her siren hissed, and against any shred of common sense, Mera agreed. Sure, it made her a giant freaking hypocrite, but she didn’t care.
“I haven’t shared my bed with someone else. Not yet,” Bast offered. He must have sensed her anguish through their link. “Halle, I wish I had. Especially since you’re cuddling up with Detective Smith.” He watched his wine glass for a while, the image clear in her mind. “Danu, I truly should have.”
“I’m not cuddling up with him,” she admitted quietly. “Using Julian to put a stop to us was the worst idea I’ve ever had. I’m a terrible person.”