He watched to make sure she was going to behave before he continued. “I had an interesting conversation with Alyssa last night. She said that you used to sit outside my hospital room door with her.”
Parker nodded, looking worried. “What else did she tell you?” she asked with a forced casualness.
“Nothing, just that you sat with her sometimes so that she wouldn’t have to be alone. Why didn’t you ever say anything to me?”
Parker looked off into the distance for a moment before answering. “Would you have listened to me? Would it have changed anything?”
“No, probably not,” he answered, losing some of his irritation.
Parker pulled her legs up and turned to face him fully. “You know what I never understood? Why was she the only person you shut out? I mean you never let it affect anything else in your life or steal anything else away but her. Why?”
Walt sighed then rubbed his hand over his face. “Okay, Parker, you know that I love you just as much as I do my family. But if any of you had felt differently about me or looked at me like I was less than a man, I would’ve been like, 'Fuck you then.' But if Alyssa had looked at me like I was less than a man, it would have destroyed me. I would have stayed with her forever if she had let me, but what if she stayed with me because she felt obligated? What if I spent the rest of my life worshipping her while she secretly resented me? I let her go to save her the trouble of trying to figure out how to let me down gently.”
He had expected his words to be met with sympathy from his best friend in the world, but instead she punched him in the arm, hard. Then she growled, actually growled, then punched him again for good measure. “You are so stupid. Walter Cameron Smith, I could just kill you! Do you have any idea what you’ve done? Oh my god, I thought you really didn’t want to be with her any longer, and well, I couldn’t fix that, but now I have to. Uh, I am just so pissed at you!”
Walt put his hands up in surrender, unsure whether or not she was going to start punching.
“What are you talking about? Why are you so mad?” he asked in confusion.
“Damn it, Walt. If you had told me this sooner, I could have done something. Now, I’m going to be forced to break a promise that I made to Alyssa, but I can’t in good conscience keep it now that I know that you’re a dumb ass!”
Starting to feel defensive, he said, “Why does everyone keep calling me a dumb ass?” He then decided that the rest of what she’d said was more important, so he asked, “What promise are you talking about?”
“Alyssa didn’t want you to know because she didn’t want to add to your stress, and she didn’t want you to feel like you had to stay with her out of some sense of obligation. Sound familiar?” she asked sarcastically.
“I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about because you’re not making any sense,” Walt snapped angrily.
“She was pregnant, Walt.”
Darkness crowded his vision “What?” Walt squeezed the question out past his quickly closing throat.
“When you kicked her out of your room, she was pregnant with your child. Two weeks later, she miscarried.”
It couldn‘t be true. Someone would have said something before now, but he had to know. “What happened?” he asked, stunned.
Parker shook her head. “Her body couldn’t withstand the stress that she was under.”
He had done this, and Parker had known. He wasn’t sure who he was more angry with: Parker for keeping something so important from him or himself. Alyssa should hate him. When he had stopped to help her on the side of the road, she should have spit in his face.
“How long have you known?” he asked in a hollow voice.
“Since the day it happened. I was there with her. It was while we were waiting for you to come out of one of your surgeries. Luckily, we were already at the hospital, so she didn‘t bleed out.”
“Bleed out? You mean she could have died?” he practically roared in her face.
Parker nodded. “It was pretty bad.”
A roar was sounding in Walt’s ears. She could’ve died, and a baby, his baby. Part of him wanted to run to her door and demand to hear it from her lips. Another part of him wanted to kill Parker for keeping something like this from him, but she had been with Alyssa. Alyssa hadn’t been alone and for that, he could almost forgive Parker.
Alyssa had been right when she’d told him that he had no idea what he had stolen from her. She must have been destroyed in a way he couldn’t even begin to fathom. He needed to be with her, but he had no idea how to fix this. She had said she still loved him. Maybe there was some hope for him.
There was someone pounding on her door. It had taken her a few minutes to decide what the loud noise was, but now she was sure. Throwing back the blankets, she shuffled her feet slowly to the front door while trying to wipe the sleep from her eyes. For some reason, she wasn’t surprised to find Walt on the other side.
“I’ve brought you a surprise,” he announced as he handed her a cup of coffee and a donut. “That’s not it. Now get some shoes on. It’s around the other side of the house.” Alyssa wasn’t sure what he was up to but she still complied. Slipping into a pair of flip flops, she followed him around the outside of the house. She was brought up short at the sight that greeted her. The men from the club were lined up with their trucks. “What’s this?” she asked, dumbfounded.
“These are the guys who are going to be moving you out of here today, so I hope you’re packed.”
“Seriously?’ she asked, excited. “I’m moving today?” At Walt’s nod, she began jumping up and down before throwing her arms around his shoulders and kissing his cheek. When she realized what she was doing, she quickly took a step back. “I can’t believe you did this for me.”
Walt brushed his fingers down her arm, causing chill bumps to break out over her skin. Coming to her fingers, he lifted them to his mouth, pressing his lips to them. He said, “I’d do anything for you.”
Their eyes held and she wasn’t sure what would’ve happened if one of the guys hadn’t decided at that moment to let out a loud cat whistle. Alyssa retreated further. “I guess I better get changed if I’m going to be moving today.” She continued to walk backwards for a couple of steps, keeping him in her sight before finally tearing her eyes away and running into the house, throwing on the first clothes she came to. She brushed her teeth and moisturized in record time. Her excitement was growing with each minute that passed. Soon she would be in her own apartment right in town. She wouldn’t have to drive anywhere if she didn’t want to. Lots of things were within walking distance and work would be right next door. He would be right next door.
Even with all the help, it still took most of the day to get Alyssa moved in. They got her stuff in pretty quickly, but after that Walt had told the guys they could go, and he stayed to help her unpack. That’s what they were still doing a few hours after everyone else had left. Walt wasn’t complaining. Each moment she spent in his company, she loosened up a little more. He had even caught a glimpse of the old laughing Alyssa a few times. She never mentioned their rooftop discussion, and he didn’t press the issue. He had all the time in the world to get things straightened out. She didn’t realize it yet, but he was laying siege, and he refused to be defeated again. He might have lost the battle last time but he would win the war.
Shifting his weight to one leg, he tried to ease the ache that had begun in the other one. Alyssa eyed him closely, but didn’t comment. That was one of the things he loved about her. She didn’t treat him like an invalid. Even his own brother had treated him like he might break at any moment. Bryant had only recently stopped asking him every five minutes if he was okay. She hadn’t asked him once all day about his comfort.
Sliding one of the boxes over to the couch, he sat down and Alyssa moved to join him there. Together they began sifting through the boxes contents. Walt pulled out an old board game and turned it over in his hands.
“What do you want to do now?” Alyssa
asked as she moved to clear their dishes from the table.
“How about if we stay in tonight? We could play a game.” Walt thought he saw Alyssa roll her eyes, but she responded cheerfully.
“Sure. I think I have something around here.” Dropping the last plate in the sink, she headed into her bedroom.
A game? Had he really just asked if she wanted to play a game? Good grief, living in this constant state of arousal was causing his brain to turn to mush. He and Alyssa had been together for six months, and he had made no move to take their relationship up a notch. There had been plenty of nights they had come really close, but his respect for her had held him back. He was in love with her and he didn’t want to treat her with anything less than she deserved.
“I’m in need of your height,” Alyssa called down the hall. “I found one, but it’s on the top shelf and I can’t reach it.”
He headed straight for the bookcase in her bedroom and pulled the game from the top shelf. When he turned, he almost swallowed his tongue. Alyssa stood completely nude and looked very unsure of herself.
“Thank God,” he said, tossing the game to the floor and closing the distance between them.
Alyssa took the game from his hands “It still has the plastic on it,” she told him as she stood on a chair and placed it on the top shelf of the same bookcase. “You would think I would get rid of it since it’s obvious I’m never going to play it, but I just keep moving it.”
Coming to his feet, Walt wrapped his arm around her waist and lifted her from the chair. Capturing her mouth with his, he allowed her feet to slide to the floor making sure she felt his arousal. The sound of ragged breathing was the only sound to be heard. He lifted his head to stare down at her, her face held between his hands. A lock of hair fell across one eye and he brushed it away. She still wouldn’t look at him. Walking forward, he forced her to step back until the wall stopped her retreat. Tilting her head slightly, she held his gaze for the first time, and what he saw there in her eyes sealed her fate. Flattening his hands against the wall, he boxed her in.
“Please,” she begged. “Don’t do this. I can’t live through it again.”
“I can’t live without you,” he admitted before reclaiming her mouth. He knew the moment she surrendered, and his heart soared with triumph. Not wanting to scare her off, he kept the kiss gentle and coaxing. For a moment, she deepened the kiss, causing his body to harden even more. She moaned when he brushed his thumb over her nipple, then turned her head away, whispering, “That’s not fair.”
“I’m not feeling very fair minded at the moment.”
“You cannot ask me to do this again. You don’t even know what you’re asking of me.”
Sighing in defeat, he admitted, “Parker told me about the baby.”
Alyssa gasped out loud, then shoved him away from her. The hurt look on her face almost made him regret his words, but they needed to deal with things head on if they were ever going to find their way back to each other.
“She told you? I can’t believe she would do that.” Hurt resounded in each word.
“I don’t think that I left her much choice. You should have told me.”
“I didn’t kick you out of my life. It was the other way around. You forced me to live without you. To everyone else it was an unfortunate miscarriage, but to me, my child had died. There was no one to comfort me when I left that hospital and no distractions to take me away from it. It was just me alone, spiraling out of control. What did you want me to do? Write it in a fucking letter?”
“I don’t know,” he answered honestly. “But I’ve got to believe that if I had known, I would’ve fought harder to find my way back to you. Otherwise, what kind of person am I?”
CHAPTER SIX
“Otherwise, what kind of person am I?” That question had plagued Alyssa’s mind all day. Walt had left before she’d been able to answer him. He was the best kind of person, and it was hard for her to admit to herself, but after a night of reflection, she realized he was right. She should have told him about the baby because he would’ve fought harder. Parker and Alyssa were ensconced in their office at the club and were working silently at their desks. She hadn’t said anything to Parker about telling Walt. She should never have asked Parker to keep such a secret from Walt in the first place. Glass double doors closed their office off from the noise of the men training, but she was still able to watch. Several times, she had caught herself staring out at Walt as he worked with some of the other men. While she had been trying to decide how she could have handled things differently years ago, other memories had begun to surface as well. She’d been so hurt and angry she had forgotten how wonderful he had been.
Alyssa watched as he hung her new painting above the couch. “I don’t think this nail is going to work. Would you hand me a bigger one out of my toolbox?” Walt asked.
“Which one of these little drawers is it in?” she asked, flipping open the lid. Staring down at the velvet box that sat alone inside the toolbox, she opened it to find the most beautiful diamond ring she’d ever seen winking back at her. Her mind went blank as she wondered if this meant what she thought.
Walt’s arms encircled her, pulling her back against him. “What do you think?”
She turned in his arms and they fell away as he dropped down to one knee. “It would make me the happiest man alive if you would agree to marry me.”
“I don’t know. You can be kind of exhausting,” she teased.
“I’ll show you exhausting,” he said, laughing as he pulled her to the floor and pretended to wrestle with her. He let her win, as usual. She ended up lying on top of him with her chin resting on her hands, watching his face. His eyes shined with laughter crinkling at the corners. She had always known this was the man for her and there was no way she was letting him get away.
“Oh, fuck! I forgot about Mookie,” Parker choked out, startling Alyssa.
“Who is Mookie?” she asked curiously, watching as the woman headed for their office. She was a cute girl with coffee-colored skin. Parker looked around uncomfortably before admitting, “Walt’s ex-girlfriend.”
A part of her had known that Walt had not lived as a monk for the past four years, but the rest of her wanted to pull this Mookie’s hair and call her a slut.
Parker watched her closely as if waiting to see which she would choose.
“It’s just for two weeks,” Parker told her gently. “She put in her notice yesterday.”
Leaning closer to Parker, Alyssa said, “Okay, I’m a big girl, right? Now remind me what big girls do again?”
“Are you crazy? How the hell would I know?” Parker asked, horrified.
“Well, I just thought since you’re a mother now you might know about cooler heads and all that.”
“Why would you think that? I punched a grown ass man right here in this club just a few months ago.”
“So you think I should go punch her?” she asked, not hating the idea.
“That’s not what I’m saying,” Parker rushed to say.
“Then what the hell are you saying? I’m hanging on by a string over here waiting for you to tell me what to do. Then, you said you punched a guy, so I assumed that was your advice. Now you’re saying you don’t want me to hit anyone. What the hell?” Alyssa said with a little bit of hysteria shining through.
“Excuse me, are you Alyssa Gregg?” The question brought Parker and Alyssa to a halt, and they both turned to find Mookie waiting for Alyssa’s answer.
“Yes,” she answered slowly. Mookie held out her hand for Alyssa to shake. When Alyssa took her hand, Mookie smiled brightly. Then, pulling Alyssa to her feet, she hugged her, saying, “It’s so nice to finally get to meet you.”
Unsure of what the proper protocol was for this situation, Alyssa began to pat Mookie lightly on the back. Then, when that went on for a minute longer than was probably considered necessary when you didn’t know the person, she dropped her arm lamely to the side. “Nice to meet you too, I think,” Alys
sa replied weakly.
Mookie chuckled. Looking over at Parker, she asked, “Is it okay if I talk to Alyssa alone?”
Parker looked as if she wanted nothing more in the world than to stay and hear what Mookie had to say, but she did as she was asked and left them alone. When Parker was gone, Mookie grabbed her chair, pulling it up next to Alyssa. She took one of Alyssa’s hands between hers. “I know this seems very odd, but I have something I need to say. Walt, he loves you so very much. There was a never a day that passed when he ever stopped.”
“Why are you telling me this?” Alyssa asked, confused.
Mookie dropped her hand and sat back in the chair. “Because he deserves to have everything in the world that he wants, and you are what he wants.”
“Do you love him?’ Alyssa asked unable to stop herself.
“Not in the way you’re asking. It never bothered me that he was in love with someone else because so am I. We were both hiding from the truth of it, but it was only a matter of time before one of us had to face reality.”
Alyssa didn’t know how to respond to that so instead she asked, “Are you quitting because of me? I would hate to think that you needed this job, but you felt too uncomfortable to stay here.”
A look of surprise crossed Mookie’s face. “That right there proves to me that you’re everything he said you were. No other woman would’ve cared if I had to go live in the street so long as I wasn’t here. But, the answer is no. A friend of mine, Malcolm, is staying in a rehabilitation center in Raleigh. I’m going to go help him out when he leaves there in three weeks.”
Alyssa leaned over, hugging Mookie again. “Thank you for telling me this. I would’ve found out about you eventually, and I would’ve always wondered if you held a piece of his heart or if he had regrets. I hope that everything works out for you in Raleigh, and if it doesn’t, then come back. Maybe Parker and I could team up to help you with this love of yours.”
Undefeated (Undefeated Series Books 1-4) Page 13