Rebel Heart

by Moira Young

  Fer shame! says Lugh.

  Ain’t she the one! cackles Slim. Yes indeed, I’m talkin saucy mamzelles that know how to stir a man’s stewpot. A word to the wise, gents, don’t try nuthin with Molly. You’ll be tempted to – by gum, she’s a rare beauty – but you mess with her at yer peril. There was this one lairy cove – ha ha! – he snuck a look at Molly through the keyhole, in her bath all pink an rosy – oh boys, I pray fer that to be my last sight on earth, a curvy gal in a tub – anyways, there he is, this rapscallion, peekin at Molly’s paticklers, an before you know it, he’s tied backwards to his horse, trousers on his head, next stop Tillibunk Junction! Ha ha!

  Tommo’s frownin, positively glarin at Slim. Serves him right, he says. He shouldn’t of looked.

  Oh, he couldn’t help hisself, says Slim. You’ll see, when you meet Molly.

  Don’t talk about her like that! says Tommo.

  You put me to shame, young man, yer absolutely right, says Slim. Molly’s a respectable, clean-livin woman. Luckily, her girls ain’t! Ha ha!

  As we push an pull the Cosmic an Moses up another bumpy slope, I ponder on things. Slim knowin Molly. Lilith an Meg bein at the Snake River camp. I wonder if Slim’s ever met Jack. When I stand back an look at the strangeness of everythin – how one thing’s led to another an brought me here, almost like night followin day – it’s as if this whole thing was meant to be. An that brings to mind what Auriel said. How we all got our parts to play. How all my roads, every decision leads me to the same place in the end.

  Destiny. I hardly dare think the word in case Lugh hears me think it. I dunno, how could that be possible? Anyways, what does it matter? As long as I find my way to Jack, that’s all I care about. That’s where the road ends fer me. It’s why I’m here, why I’m doin this. Fer Jack. To be with Jack.

  Emmi barges into my thoughts by sayin, Y’know, Slim, yer too old to be carousin with whores. Yer time of life, you oughta be settled down with a good woman.

  Hell, says Slim, no decent gal ’ud take up with a old fossil like me.

  I don’t see why not, says Em. They do say there’s somebody fer everybody.

  Believe it or not, missy, back in my salad days, I was what we called a gay blade, he says. Had a fine manly figger. I had dash an charm an . . . oh, I was devilish handsome, no word of a lie. Females flocked to me, helpless moths to my deadly flame.

  There you go, says Em. You jest need to scrub up some.

  Where’s the gawdamn road? I says.

  I figger any moment now, we should – ah! Here we are! says Slim. What’d I tell you?

  As he says the words, we’re suddenly bumpin onto a wide dirt road that cuts across our path, east-west. Look! says Slim. There it is! The storm belt! He points east.

  Some ten leagues distant, straight on, the sky hangs low an brown across the horizon. There’s a little huddle of mountains. A thick plug of filthy-lookin brown cloud hangs above ’em, like a sullen lid. Forks of jagged lightnin flash down.

  Where’s the Lost Cause? says Em.

  You cain’t see it from here, says Slim. Over the causeway, through a gap in them mountains an there she is, right in the middle. It’s all flat, open an empty, but fer the Lost Cause. He leans in close to Em, makes his voice go spooky. There she stands, he says, alone at the crossroads, with wind witches shriekin an wailin around her all night long. Tappin on the windows, scratchin at the doors with their long witchy claws, let me in, let me in. Are you skeered of witches, little miss?

  Em’s bug-eyed. I dunno, she whispers. I never met one.

  The brown cloud’s sulphate, he says in a normal voice. Rains down on the Lost Cause every single day.

  Let’s hurry, I says. It ain’t far an it’s a good road.

  Slim’s frownin, lookin up an down the trail. Too damn good fer my likin, he says. Somebody’s bin workin on this. It’s bin cleared. Made wider since the last time I was here.

  The Tonton? says Lugh.

  Roads is slave work, says Slim, not Tonton. Anyways, what it tells me is there’s more traffic here. More people movin around. Everybody better ride inside till we git to Molly’s. Anybody we do meet, I can explain the horse, but not all of you with no marks on you.

  No way, I says. What’s to stop you drivin somewheres an handin us over?

  Look, he says, the Cosmic used to be the beast wagon in a travellin show. She’s got air grilles in her walls so you can watch what’s goin on. Shoot me if you don’t like what you see.

  We look at each other. Me an Lugh an Maev an Tommo an Emmi. Maev gives a little shake of her head. Don’t trust him.

  I ride with you, I says. The rest go in the back.

  Did you not hear me? says Slim. I jest said, it’s too dangerous.

  An I jest said, I ride with you, I says. Me an the wolfdog.

  As I tie Hermes to the back end, the rest of ’em climb inside, into the warm, dim stuffiness of the Cosmic. They settle theirselfs on the straw. Light slants down from the grilles, one high up in each wall, jest like Slim said.

  Lugh’s last in. I hope there ain’t no fleas, he says.

  Whatever happens, says Slim, whatever you hear, don’t make a sound, don’t make a move an don’t come out till I tell you.

  All of a sudden, he don’t seem like the same person. His voice, his gaze, even his big body, they’ve gone sharp an tight. He looks tough. No mean feat fer a man wearin a pink dress.

  Okay? I says.

  They all nod. We shut the door on ’em. Me an Tracker jump in the front. Nero lands on my lap. The Cosmic pitches an creaks as Slim squeezes his bulk into the driver’s seat. He gives Moses a brisk slap with the reins an, with a jolt, we’re off.

  Every turn of the wheels carries me closer to the storm belt. To the Lost Cause. To Jack. My hand goes to the heartstone around my neck. My fingers curl around its cool smoothness. Soon I’ll be seein Jack. After all this time, after all that’s happened, I cain’t hardly believe it. My belly’s tight. Jittery. Hot an cold. I crave his moonlight eyes. His heart-turnin smile. His lips, his touch, the warm sage smell of his skin.

  Smell. Ohmigawd.

  I’m sweaty. I’m all dickered with mud an I’m hot an – I must stink like a polecat. I try to remember the last time I had a wash. I cain’t. I got no idea. I turn to Slim. Do I smell? I says.

  He throws me a startled look. Uh—

  Ohmigawd, I do. I smell bad. How bad? Go on, you can tell me.

  Well, he says, you don’t smell as bad as some. But you don’t smell as good as some neether.

  I knew it, I says. What’m I gonna do?

  Yer askin me fer advice? He shakes his head as he says, I’d remind you that I’m wearin a lady dress with no unders.

  I stare at him, not seein him, in a panic. What a nightmare. I don’t see Jack fer months an the first thing he does is pass out becuz I smell so rank. I’ll hafta scrub up somehow. Wash an change my clothes an—

  Wait a minute, I says. That fella, peekin through the keyhole at Molly. She’s got a tub. I’ll ask if I can take a bath. That’s what I’ll do. The moment we git there, I’ll hop in an have a scrub.

  I smile at him. Relieved.

  Well, he says, would you look at that. The sun jest come out. I gotta tell you, sister, when you smile you are one fine-lookin female. He winks. If I know the Lost Cause – an I do – yer gonna hafta stop up that keyhole.

  Late afternoon. The storm belt ain’t more’n three or four leagues distant.

  Not much further now, says Slim. I figger another—Whoa, Moses! Whoa, boy!

  He hauls on the reins. The Cosmic groans to a halt.

  Beside the road, there’s a man lashed to a tree trunk. A fat iron spike’s bin nailed through his throat.

  He ain’t bin here more’n a few days. He died hard. Hard an long. He’s gaunt. Starved lookin. He had maybe forty year on him. Pa�
��s age.

  From his seat on my lap, Nero caws. I hold him tight. Crows like to have a go at a corpse. Somethin’s already bin workin at this one, crows or some other dead eaters.

  D’you know him? I says.

  From a boy, says Slim. His name’s Billy Six. Slim’s mouth works. His big, jowly face has gone all red.

  He starts to clamber outta the wagon an I grab his arm. Hey, hey! What’re you doin?

  I’m gonna bury him decent, he says. I cain’t leave him like this.

  An if somebody sees us? I says. Then what?

  His lips thin. He breathes, loud an tight, through his nose as he stares at Billy Six.

  Lugh’s voice comes from the grille above my head. Why’re we stopped? he whispers.

  Somebody Slim knows, I says. We stare at Billy Six. We’re all silent fer a moment.

  No man oughta die like that, says Lugh.

  He took to the woods when the Tonton came to take his land, says Slim. The Stewards moved in an Billy swore he’d make as much trouble as he could fer as long as he could.

  I hope he made their lives hell, I says.

  Slim turns to look at me. His face is bleak. We’re gonna pass right by his old place. If we’re lucky, we won’t see nobody. But you should ride in back with the rest of ’em.

  No, I says.

  He shakes his head. We’re on high alert now, he says. Walk on, Moses.

  We go on fer a little bit, maybe half a league. Nero flies ahead. Billy’s place comin up, says Slim. On the right.

  A little house stands in the middle of fields. The grass roof, the walls of stone an wood an mud an tyres make it look like it’s dragged itself outta the ground. There’s two planted fields, one field ploughed to earth an one – the furthest away – half-ploughed. In that one, there’s a man hard at work draggin a shoulder plough.

  Looks like good land, I says.

  It should be, he says. Billy worked it these past twenny year.

  The door of the house stands open. A young woman hurries along the path towards the road. She waves at us.

  I’m gonna stop, says Slim.

  Drive on, I says.

  I said I’m stoppin, says Slim.

  An I said, drive on! I shove my bolt shooter into his side.

  He gives me a steady look. It won’t take long, he says. Don’t say nuthin. Keep yer face hid.

  Fer some reason – I cain’t say why – his calm look, his calm voice, makes me feel clumsy. Foolish. Dull-witted. Like I’m somehow . . . missin the point. But what point, I dunno.

  Whoa, there, Moses. The Cosmic stops once agin. It creaks an lists as Slim climbs down. Me an Tracker jump out too. I adjust my kercheef an sheema so’s nuthin shows but my eyes.

  Me an Slim move around the Cosmic untyin the right-side flap, then the left.

  Saba! Lugh speaks in a low voice, but I can hear him through the wall. What’s goin on?

  The people on Billy’s old place hailed us, I says.

  Keep quiet inside, says Slim. Don’t move a finger. I’ll git rid of her as soon as I can.

  The woman runs up. Not a woman. Another girl. Pink-cheeked, bright-eyed, trim an neat. Sixteen or so. The black quartered circle brand of the Stewards of the Earth in the middle of her forehead. A bolt shooter in her waist holster.

  She brings her clenched right fist to her heart. Long life to the Pathfinder! she says. Her voice trails off as she notices Tracker. He stands beside me, my hand on his head.

  Oh, don’t mind him, says Slim, he’s gentle as a lamb.

  He makes the same sign as she – fist to the heart. I copy him.

  Long life to the Pathfinder, says Slim. What can I do fer you?

  I gotta have a baby. She speaks fast, her voice low. It’s bin too long. If I don’t git with child soon, he’ll ask fer another woman an they’ll slave me. She hesitates, jest fer a moment, then pulls a silver chain from her pocket an hands it to Slim. Will you take this in trade? she says.

  Slim’s one eye looks it over keenly. Nice, he says. Family heirloom?

  The girl pulls herself tall an proud, firms her chin. My only family is the Earth, she says. The Pathfinder has chosen me to heal her.

  Of course he has, says Slim. I got jest the thing. Now, where did I put that tincture? He starts checkin through his bottles.

  The girl casts a quick look over her shoulder. The man pullin the shoulder plough’s stopped work. He’s makin his way over the fields, headin towards us.

  Hurry, please, she says.

  Slim says, I seen that fella nailed to the tree back there.

  Oh, the vermin, she says. Eli caught it settin fire to the new bridge. Eli an the night patrol. About a week back.

  Night patrol, eh? says Slim. Folks around here bin breakin curfew?

  The girl’s keepin nervous watch on Eli. But she rattles on, like she’s glad of the chance to speak to somebody. She don’t take no notice of me.

  We bin havin trouble after dark, she says. Not jest us, other homesteads too. Ever since we got here. Wells gone bad, beasts missin, broke ploughs, fires, all sorts. Our horse disappeared last month. That’s how come Eli’s handploughin. So, he got everybody together an organized night patrols fer our sector. You sure you got that cure?

  Slim starts lookin in the drawers. It’s here somewheres, he says. So you figger this fella to be the cause of yer troubles?

  Well, we ain’t had none since Eli spiked it, she says. He says it must of bin livin rough in the woods.

  Did Eli deal with the, uh . . . vermin hisself? says Slim.

  I helped some. She gives a nervous giggle. It did make the most awful fuss.

  Did it indeed, says Slim. Ah! Here we go. You take two drops in water twice a day. An not jest you, ma’am, yer, uh . . . Eli too. Not to be personal an you’ll pardon my sayin so, but it takes two to make one.

  He hands her a tiny brown glass bottle. She shoves it in her pocket. Two drops twice a day, she says.

  Fer the next ten days, says Slim. It won’t work otherwise.

  RiverLee! Eli shouts her name as he charges up the path. Hair like straw. Built like a bull. Thick lips. Red-faced. He’s holdin a firestick. There’s a bolt shooter stuck in his belt.

  RiverLee! he yells. Whaddya mean, hailin this scum?

  I was jest askin fer news, Eli, she calls. Thought they might of heard somethin from along the road.

  You! Eli grabs Slim. Quack man. Lemme see yer mark. What the hell’s this yer wearin? He shoves up the right sleeve of Slim’s pink frock, grunts when he sees the brand on the outside of his arm. He gives him a hard shove. Go on, clear off! I don’t want yer kind on my good land. If I see yuz agin, I’ll deal with you, d’you hear?

  Slim an me’s rushin about, foldin the Cosmic’s flaps, tyin her up.

  Loud an clear, mister! Slim calls out in a quavery voice. Long life to the Pathfinder!

  I’ll give you long life! Eli shoots the firestick at Slim’s feet. Slim dances back as the shot slams into the ground. Eli laughs. Narrows his eyes as he notices Hermes tied to the back of the Cosmic.

  That horse there’s way too fine fer the likes of you, he says. I believe you stole him. Jest like some vermin stole mine. I lay claim to that beast, in the name of the Pathfinder. Untie him, RiverLee.

  She hurries to do his biddin. My chest’s gone tight. They cain’t take Hermes. I won’t let ’em.

  Please, mister, don’t take my horse! Slim whines.

  Shut up! Eli jerks his head fer Slim to move beside me. He keeps the firestick aimed at us. Tracker growls. He stops when I press my hand on his head.

  I shoot mean dogs, says Eli. How come yer woman’s all covered up? She too ugly to look at?

  She’s got the weepin pox, mister, says Slim.

  Maybe I oughta shoot her, he says.

  Nero’s flyin tigh
t circles a little ways overhead.

  Here he is, Eli, says RiverLee. But he’s awful nervy.

  She’s leadin Hermes. She holds his rope too high, too tight. He tosses his head, pulls an dances.

  Yer holdin him all wrong, says Eli. Dammit, RiverLee, yer too stupid to live. Loosen up his rope a little.

  He’s still got us covered with the firestick. But he’s distracted. He flicks a glance their way – jest fer a moment – but it’s enough fer me to show Hermes my hand. I waggle it. He goes crazy, squealin an stompin. With one mighty tug, he yanks hisself free. RiverLee falls to the ground. She shrieks an covers her head as Hermes rears above her, flailin at the air with his front legs. Eli looks. I move.

  I grab his firestick. Both hands. He hangs on. Both hands. Nero falls outta the sky at him, screechin. Tracker snaps an snarls at his legs. His hands loosen. Jest a bit. I smash the firestick into his face.

  He reels back. The stick goes flyin.

  Go go go! I yell at Slim.

  As he hurries to jump in the front, I run to git Hermes. He’s skittered outta harm’s way. But RiverLee’s on her feet. Bolt shooter out. Aimed at me. She shoots. She misses.

  I’ve pulled my own shooter by now. I raise it. A huge arm grabs me from behind. Hooks around my throat. Eli. He presses on my windpipe, chokin me. I struggle an scrabble, but he’s too strong. He chops my shooter from my hand. Digs his into my temple.

  Tracker’s throwin hisself at Eli. Snarlin an snappin. Eli kicks at him.

  Slim comes runnin, firestick at the ready.

  I’ll kill her! yells Eli. Put yer weapon on the ground, yer hands up! Cover him, RiverLee!

  Got it, Eli, says RiverLee.

  Slim throws down his firestick an raises his hands.

  Call off yer dog! yells Eli. The crow too! I’ll kill all of ’em!

  Slim calls off Tracker. Nero’s bin attackin Eli, divin at his head an shriekin.

  Eli eases up on my windpipe. Jest enough fer me to croak, No, Nero! Go!

  Nero retreats. He circles overhead, callin out his alarm.

  You ain’t no quack’s woman, says Eli.

  He yanks my sheema back. His eyes widen as he sees my tattoo. He smiles.