Richey went back inside and went to find the therapist. Thankfully, Tony’s door was open, and his head was bowed over some paperwork. Richey knocked tentatively on the door, and Tony looked up.
“Richey? We didn’t have a session scheduled, did we?”
“I need to make a call,” he said. “I need to speak to someone.”
Tony frowned. “Sure, you can use my phone. Do you have the number?”
Richey nodded. Tony left the room but kept the door ajar, and Richey knew he would be standing outside.
Richey’s hands shook as he dialled Kim’s number.
“Kim, don’t hang up, it’s me, Richey.”
“Richey? Where are you?”
“Long story,” he said. “I have to ask you something.” He paused while he tried to formulate what he wanted to say. “When you knew you were pregnant, were you still doing coke?” There was silence from the other end of the line, and Richey wondered whether she had hung up, but then he heard her breathing.
Kim’s voice was barely above a whisper as she answered. “I can’t believe you think that. I wouldn’t intentionally have done anything that could harm the baby.”
“I know, but we were caning it pretty hard back then, how can you be sure?”
The choked sob confirmed his suspicions. “Richey, I’m sorry.”
“After everything you accused me of. Do you know where I am now because of you? What I ended up doing because of everything you brought back? I starting using again, and it got out of control. I racked up a ridiculous debt with a dealer who decided he wanted to get his money back by beating the shit out of me and threatening to harm Eva. Have you any idea where I am now? In rehab, trying to work out where the fuck it all went wrong.”
“It’s not the first time it’s happened though, is it?” Kim had pulled herself together and was turning it back on him. “Is Eva by your side just as I was?”
“Don’t talk about her, you don’t know anything about our relationship.”
Kim gave a harsh laugh. “Ah, so she walked away. I’m not surprised. You’re just one fucked-up mess.”
Richey took a deep breath; getting angry wouldn’t solve anything. “Not that it’s any of your business, but I said she should walk away. Like you said, I’m just a fucked-up mess.” He slammed the receiver in the cradle. He sank down to the floor, his back resting against Tony’s desk.
“Can I come back in?” Tony’s head came around the door, and his gaze fell on Richey, crumpled on the floor. “Are you okay?”
Richey looked up at the therapist. “Yes,” he said. “I actually think I am.”
Chapter Forty-Nine
Alik Thorne trudged up towards Beech Hill House with a mixture of emotions whirling through him. He had thought long and hard about whether to visit Richey or not. After he had discussed it at length with Caro and Parker, he decided it would be for the best. If he had made the same sort of effort with Billy, maybe things wouldn’t have got so bad for him. He signed the visitors’ book and sat down. While he waited for someone to tell him where to find Richey, he glanced around the reception area. The facility was set in several acres of tranquil parkland and woods and resembled a grand-looking stately home from the outside. It was only when one went inside that you knew it wasn’t necessarily the place for high-powered business meetings or ladies who lunch and spa.
“Alik? I’m Tony, Richey’s therapist.”
Alik stood up and shook Tony’s hand. “Hi, good to meet you.”
“Thanks for coming in, I know this means a lot to Richey. He’s told me a lot of things about his past, and you even talking to him is good progress.”
Tony directed Alik towards Richey’s room. As he approached the half-open door, he heard Richey’s voice.
“Who am I kidding? As if Alik is going to want to record any of this crap.”
He tentatively knocked on the door. “Still happy to take a look first though, mate.” He bent down and picked up a screwed-up sheet of paper. Alik took a moment to examine Richey, who was sitting cross-legged on the single bed. His long hair was pulled back, and his previous stubble was a full beard now. He looked a lot healthier than he had done on tour; his eyes sparkled, and he’d put on a little weight, although on closer inspection it appeared to be muscle rather than fat. Richey was clearly taking care of himself. He wished desperately that Billy had done the same, and a wave of darkness fell over him.
“How are you doing?” Alik sat down on the chair at the table by the window.
“Feeling pretty lucky right now, to be honest,” replied Richey.
“How so?”
“It’s not often that you get a second chance at something, only to royally fuck it up and then be given another opportunity.” He paused. “I’m grateful to you for that.”
Alik took a moment before saying anything further. “I just thought that if we’d tried to help Billy more, we could have prevented what happened to him. Although if we had, you wouldn’t be sitting here now.” He gave a half smile. “Leo’s a poisonous piece of work, and he’ll get what’s coming to him in time. I didn’t want to do anything now, we don’t need the negative publicity and questions this close to the festival. I guess I’m thinking of myself here too.”
“Thank you, I appreciate it.”
They fell silent.
Alik reached for the crumpled-up bit of paper that Richey had thrown in the bin. He smoothed it out and read through the words. He smiled. “Definitely not crap, mate, it’s got legs.” Then his expression changed. “Tell me how you ended up here. I want to know what happened.” If he could understand Richey’s reasons, maybe he could get to know a bit more about Billy’s addictions too.
He listened as Richey told him about how he’d become dependent on drugs. Initially it was a similar story to his own, a few wild parties trying out a few things, but Alik had always known where to draw the line and stop. Richey didn’t. He used to help his confidence and to deal with the pressures of being in an up-and-coming band and when things got too hard; it was a crutch for him. Alik appreciated how that could happen; he had read enough rock star autobiographies to know that not everyone was as confident as they seemed on the outside.
“It came to a head one night,” said Richey. “Kim and I went out with some of her work friends, bunch of arseholes mostly, but god could they get some good stuff.” He gave Alik a wry smile. “I was enjoying what they had, mixing it up with some whisky, drinking more and wanting more coke. When the guy told me I couldn’t have any more, I got angry and tried to punch him. That’s about the last thing I remember before waking up in hospital. I ended up with a police caution and a conditional discharge. And being kicked out of the band.”
Richey fell silent, and Alik digested what he had just said before speaking.
“I had no idea. I can understand why you wouldn’t want to share this at the start, although maybe if you had, this might not have happened.”
“What now?” asked Richey.
“That depends on you. Parker has pushed back the studio time and the only gig we’ve got scheduled is the Wilde Park Festival in six weeks. I don’t know how much longer you’ll be here for, but if making plans for the future helps, then we should look at this.” Alik waved the sheet of lyrics at him. “And quite possibly all the other stuff you’ve been working on since you’ve been in here. Between the two of us, I reckon we’ve got enough material to start selling on.”
“Really?”
Alik nodded. “Plus whatever we decide to record for the next Blood Stone Riot album. Richey, we can do this. Have you seen Eva?”
Richey shook his head. “I thought it was best she stayed away from me.”
“I think you’re wrong. She’s an amazing woman. Caro thinks a lot of her, and you shouldn’t push her away at a time like this.”
Richey’s eyes lit up at the mention of Eva. Alik glanced at his watch and saw that it was time to go. He held out his hand to Richey. “Don’t make me regret giving you this chance.”
&nbs
p; Richey shook his hand. “Thank you, it means a lot. I promise you won’t.”
Alik stood up and embraced Richey in a hug, then left the room. As he walked down the corridor, his thoughts turned back to Billy and how much he missed him, despite the bad blood between them towards the end. The clouds descended around him, and he needed to get outside and breathe again.
Chapter Fifty
It had been about a month since Richey had been admitted to rehab, and Eva was struggling. She was finding it hard to deal with being pushed away. She had taken on extra shifts at The Indigo Lounge, as well as increasing the promotion and social media activity. The club had never been so well promoted. When she wasn’t working, she was holed up in her room, usually with a bottle of something.
“Why don’t you go out with some of the girls from work?” Poppy asked her one evening. She had encouraged Eva to come and eat dinner downstairs. The only reason Eva had agreed was because it was just the two of them. She didn’t want to have to talk to anyone else.
“And listen to them bang on about their boyfriends? What do you think I’d have to contribute to that discussion?” Eva picked up her wine glass and drank as she pushed her food around her plate.
“At least it would get you out of the house.”
“I get out of the house when I’m working.”
They fell silent for a while. It was Eva who spoke first.
“Why do you think Richey finished things?” She looked down at her glass and swirled the wine.
“I honestly don’t know.”
“I bet he was pushed into it.”
“That’s unfair. Richey did what was asked of him, and he decided what happened next, not Alik, not Nate or Dev, and certainly not Parker.” Poppy got up and cleared Eva’s plate away. “I’m sure he didn’t take that decision lightly; he cares about you. Don’t you think that’s why he did it? Can you imagine what it must be like for him?”
Eva thought about it constantly. Richey was never far from her thoughts, no matter what she was doing. She wondered what he was doing, how he was feeling, who he was talking to, what he was talking about. She took another large mouthful of wine, wincing as it burned a path down her throat. If she kept on going like this, she would probably be joining him.
“Oh, I forgot,” said Poppy. She picked up a letter from the counter and returned to her seat. “This came for you today.” She slid it across the table.
Eva’s eyes took in the writing, which she recognised immediately as Richey’s. “Why didn’t you mention this before?”
“Sorry, it arrived with all the other post this morning after you’d gone to work, and I was busy with India—”
Eva snatched the envelope from the table and rushed upstairs to the sanctuary of her room. She stared at the messy handwriting on the envelope and traced her fingers over the looping lines of the letters. She took a deep breath and ripped it open.
Two pieces of paper fell out—one appeared to be lyrics. She scanned that first. Tears filled her eyes as she read the words. It was an untitled song but clearly about their relationship and what that meant to him. The other was a simple request:
Eva,
I was wrong and I miss you. It’s time I was honest with you and told you everything. If you don’t hate the song, please will you come and visit me?
Richey xxx
She smiled. There was no chance she could hate the song. On the back he had penned instructions as to what she needed to do if she wanted to visit Beech Hill House.
Chapter Fifty-One
Richey sat outside at the picnic bench on the patio. He fiddled with his pack of cigarettes and turned it around in his hands.
“It’ll be fine.”
He glanced up to see Molly standing in front of him. Her pale blue hair was pulled up in a messy ponytail, and she wore her trademark clothes and Converse. They had become close over the past couple of weeks, spending time together outside of group sessions and talking. They never discussed anything that came up in the group sessions. It was good to have someone to discuss normal stuff with.
“What if she doesn’t like what I have to tell her?”
Molly perched on the seat next to him. “She’s coming, isn’t she? That’s a start. Like they say, baby steps.”
Richey nodded. He lit up a cigarette, feeling the nicotine calm him. That was one addiction he still had left to kick.
“Richey?”
He turned and saw Eva approaching them. His first thought was that she’d lost a lot of weight since the last time he’d seen her. She wore skinny black jeans and a loose grey sweater that seemed to swamp her. There was a hollowness to her cheekbones that hadn’t been there before, emphasised by the fact her hair was drawn back from her face. Her brown eyes met his and instantly filled with tears.
“Hey.” He stood up and moved towards her. He put his arms around her, feeling her stiffen as he did so. “I’m so glad you’re here.”
She extricated herself from his embrace and took a seat on the opposite side of the bench to Molly. “Hi, I’m Eva.”
“I know,” said Molly. “Richey talks about you a lot.”
“Molly’s in my group sessions,” he said. “She helped me realise a few things recently.”
Eva nodded at Molly. “Pleased to meet you, I hope he said nice things.”
Molly rolled her eyes. “Nauseatingly nice. And he’s missed you heaps.” She stood up and fluttered her fingers at the pair as she left. “Good to meet you too, Eva.”
Eva looked around. “I feel as if there are cameras watching us,” she said.
Richey smiled. “We’re safe out here.” He pointed to a window on the top floor of the building behind them. “Although keep your eye out for an audience from that office.” He reached across the table and took her hand. “Thank you for coming, I wasn’t sure you would.”
Eva gave him a small smile. “It’s not every day that someone writes a song for you.”
“Part of the therapy.” Richey was half serious.
“You said in your note that you wanted to tell me everything. I know all about you and Kim, and after the Leo thing you told me you were an addict, what more is there to say?”
Richey took a final drag on his cigarette, dropped it to the floor, and ground it out with his foot. “I need to put the pieces together for you, so you understand exactly who I am. You need to decide if I’m the person you thought I was and whether you want to be with me.”
Then he started to talk, and everything he should have told Eva a long time ago came tumbling out.
“Deeds Of Eternity was my first real band. You know, the one where you have close-knit local fans who follow you everywhere? And then that gets a bit bigger and before long you’ve got a hundred or so guaranteed punters at any gig you do.
“We were out most nights, gigging, taking part in competitions, travelling all over the place, doing stupid amounts of miles in short spaces of time. The guy promoting us got us a showcase with a small label and they started to show a bit of interest, but again they had us up and down the country. Like any band, we knew how to party, and we partied hard, I can’t deny that. I met Kim at a gig, and she was everything I thought I wanted: gorgeous, rich, successful, and her party lifestyle seemed to outweigh mine. I had dabbled in coke and speed, but she was something else. She’d work for ten hours a day and then be out all night. Being with her, trying to keep up with her and the demands of the band, was how I got hooked.
“One of those nights, it all got out of hand. I don’t recall exactly what happened, but we were at a club, I’d been mixing cocaine and alcohol and had a go at one of the guys that hung around with her. The next thing I remember is waking up in hospital, the police were there, and I was cautioned.
“Kim spent every moment with me, stayed off work and all but lost her job. We weren’t getting on all that well, although the make-up sex was pretty spectacular. God, sorry, you didn’t need to know that bit. And you know what happened next.” Richey ran a hand throu
gh his hair, Eva’s face wasn’t giving much away. “The band decided that I was too much of a risk to have around and kicked me out. After that, I swore things were going to be different, and I was going to get straight, which for a long time I was. Once I got away from Kim and Oak Ridge, it was much simpler to start over. No-one knew me, and I could just be a guy with a bass, a few part-time jobs, and no history. That was until Parker found me.” He paused again. When it became clear that Eva wasn’t going to say anything, he continued. “I nearly lapsed a couple of times, when Kim first contacted me ages ago, the night we nearly...” He saw Eva’s face change in recognition of the moment. “On tour too, when I needed a hit, but resisted. I’m weak, Eva. After Kim turned up, I needed it to help me feel better.”
Eva squeezed his hand tightly. “I could have made you feel better,” she said at last.
“I know.” Richey took another steadying breath. “Until a little while ago, I thought I had made the right decision to keep you away. You didn’t need to be involved in my shit.” Eva opened her mouth to interrupt, but Richey put a finger to her lips. “Molly made me realise something about Kim, and she admitted she was still taking drugs when she got pregnant. It was more likely that which caused her to miscarry.”
“What?”
Richey nodded. “Plus, I had a really good chat with Alik, and he made me realise that I missed you and I needed you.”
“I’ve missed you too,” said Eva. “But where do we go from here?”
“Now that you know everything, I understand if you want to walk away.” He watched the look of concern flit across Eva’s face.
She took a few moments before she answered. “I guess I need to take some time. Do you know how much longer you’ll be in here for?”
Richey shrugged. “Another week, another month, longer. There’s an assessment coming up soon, and if they think I’m ready, then I can go. Alik told me that Parker’s been great at rescheduling some of the gigs and studio time, and I want to be able to do the Wilde Park set.”
One Last Shot Page 20