by Sarah Dalton
Angela suppressed a shudder as she watched the army celebrate their victory. All around her the Blemished men chanted. No longer “Fourteen”, their chant became: “BLEM-ISHED, BLEM-ISHED, BLEM-ISHED.”
“The revolution has begun!” Alfred yelled.
37 ~ Daniel ~
The priest finished reading and placed the book down. “Shall I go on?”
Daniel shook his head. “Not now. I don’t want to hear anymore. Not until I’ve seen the others.” He leaned back against the hard wood of the pew and stared up at the high ceilings. He hadn’t wanted this. He hadn’t wanted to be the first to know. It weighed heavily on his chest. Now he’d have to tell them how it all started and he didn’t want to.
“I understand,” said the priest. He handed Daniel the notebook. “Well, I think I’ll leave you to it.” He rose to leave.
“Wait,” Daniel said. He sat upright on the pew and reached out to the old man. The priest sat back onto his seat. “Why do you do this? Why do you hide these people under your church? You must know about the things they do. I mean, I’ve seen the Resistance bomb public places. Apparently they kill GEM girls. Sometimes I’m not even sure I’m on the good side.”
The priest chuckled, the air escaping slowly from his lungs in a wheeze. “Side. Now, there is a loaded word. But I suppose in the world we live in, taking sides seems paramount. It’s all you’ve ever known.” He leaned so close Daniel smelled his tea-fragranced breath. “There are no sides, not really. And there certainly isn’t a good side. There aren’t even any good people – not in the sense you’re thinking of. Have you ever known a person who didn’t make a mistake? Who never got it wrong?” He lifted his furry-white caterpillar eyebrows expectantly.
“No, I guess not.”
“That’s right. There’s no point choosing a side, unless it’s yourself. When the Ministry started to do the things they did – banishing people left, right and centre, calling them nasty words, making them wear a uniform – I had a choice to make. A very difficult choice.” He sighed. “One which compromised some of my own beliefs. Someone came to me in grave danger, who wanted things to stop. They feared the future of the country and I chose to believe in that person.”
“Who was it?” Daniel asked.
“Someone who had a vision for the future, and while it wasn’t my vision, I saw good in it. Since then I’ve let people into my church who I regret––”
“Susannah,” Daniel said.
“Yes. Her. I suppose you have to set your boundaries in times of strife and war. You have to ask yourself what you’d be willing to do and what you’ll never do.”
“I’d never kidnap or murder,” Daniel said.
“I’m sure you wouldn’t. I don’t think many people would say that. But then they might find themselves changing their minds at some point.”
“What are you saying?”
He sighed. “Who knows? It’s little more than the ramblings of an old man.”
Daniel thought about his words, and thought about the lines he’d drawn for himself. Could he ever stoop so low? Could he ever kill an unarmed man – or woman – if he thought it might save many lives?
The priest slapped his thigh with his hand and brought Daniel back to reality. “Now, you have friends to find and histories to discuss.” He gestured to the notebook.
Daniel sighed. He’d been stalling – trying to avoid the explanation to the others. They had a right to know what was inside Anna’s notebook. He stood to leave and paused before saying, “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” said the priest.
As Daniel walked through the knave of the church, a horrible churning grew in his belly. He knew something was very, very wrong. He began to jog, almost knocking over a nun, as he made his way through the church and to the secret door to the steps. His heartbeat quickened as the realisation dawned on him. He just hoped that he was wrong. Deep down, he knew why his stomach hurt. One of the Freaks felt pain, and he felt it along with them.
He ran through the basement and around the corner, where Mina and her father lay. She had her hands balled into fists. She clung to his blood-soaked clothes.
Daniel dropped to his knees beside her. With shaking fingers he reached for the Professor and felt for a pulse. There was no sign of life – just cold skin and dried blood.
“He’s gone.” Mina clutched her knees. Her blood shot eyes stared into nothing. His heart ached for her.
Daniel wrapped his arms around her. She was like a fragile bird huddled against his chest, shaking with grief. The other Freaks appeared around the corner, breathless. They’d felt it too. Kitty saw Jonathon’s body and covered her face with her hands. Mike’s shoulders slumped, and Hiro’s large eye’s filled with tears. They joined Daniel on the floor and wrapped their arms around him and Mina. Only Mike hung back away from them, guilt in his eyes.
*
“She won’t leave him,” Daniel told Ali and Matthew. “I can’t get her to… I’m sorry, Matthew. I really am.”
Ali propped Matthew up against the basement wall. He clutched his chest with one hand, and stared at Mina and Jonathon with wet eyes. Daniel found it difficult to tear his eyes away from Mina long enough to tell Matthew about his brother.
“I knew this was going to happen,” Matthew said. “It’s my punishment.”
“Dunnae speak like that.” Ali pulled Matthew closer to him.
“Why not? It’s true. If I hadn’t––”
“If, Matty, if. Ye didnae know what would happen. It’s not ye fault. It’s not.”
Daniel walked over to where Mina rocked back and forth, hugging her knees. He placed a gentle hand on her head. “Come away, Min. Please. You don’t want to stay with him like this.”
She shook her head and mumbled something inaudible. She’d been talking to herself a lot. Either that or she talked to her father.
“Mina, this isn’t good for you.”
“Leave her be, Dan,” said Ali. “She’s gunnae need time.”
Daniel followed Ali away from Jonathon’s body. Matthew stayed behind.
“How ye doin’, lad? Ye all right?” Ali asked.
“I’m worried about her––”
Ali stopped him and put a hand on his shoulder. “No, not her. You. Ye coping?”
Daniel nodded.
“Good, ‘cos we’re gunnae need ye.” Ali’s voice became deadly serious. “It’s bad.” Ali nodded at Elena, who sat at the computer table with her arms folded.
She followed Daniel with her eyes. “What’s happened?”
“He’s dead,” Daniel said, without letting his voice break. It wanted to, but he fought it back.
“Oh no.” Elena’s hand went to her mouth. “That’s so much for her… this is terrible.”
“Ye need te tell him,” Ali said. He pulled up a chair, and rested one boot on top of his knee.
Daniel decided to stand. He glanced around the room, noticing the thick tension in the air. Kitty and Hiro sat on the bunk beds playing cards, both glum and staring into space. Dale sat with Elena; his face set. Mike stood in the kitchen and stared into nothing.
“What is it?” he asked, dreading the answer.
“I think the war has started,” Elena replied.
38 ~ Mina ~
The cold seized me and squeezed my insides until I thought they might pop. Freezing. My body shook until my teeth chattered, sending searing pain into my skull.
I stared at my fingers for hours, waiting for them to snap from the cold. But when I clenched my hands into a fist, they moved and flexed. How was that possible?
He lay beside me. Red blood. Old clothes. Dirty hair. Broken glasses.
Dirty. I said that out loud?
“She’s losing her mind.”
Cold.
“We need to get the body out of here.”
Dead.
“She won’t let go of him.”
Stiff.
“Where’s Daniel? Maybe he can talk some sense into her.�
��
Who were those people? Why did they want me?
“She’s shaking. It’s the withdrawal from the drugs. Mina, you need to come away.”
Bony fingers prodded me.
“Someone just lift her away from him.”
“She needs time––”
“She needs to get away from the body before it attracts rats.”
Rats.
“Where the hell is Daniel?”
Daniel?
“Her thoughts are a mess. She’s really cold.”
“I’ll get a blanket.”
“But I don’t think it’s a temperature thing. I think it’s grief.”
Grief.
“She’s just completely shut down.”
*
I woke up in a tangle of bed-sheets and thought – Dad!
“Where is he?” I sat up and hit my head on the bunk above. “Where is he?” I swung my legs out of the bed and collapsed to the floor. I was a mess; shaking and weak. “Where is he?”
Daniel rushed over to me and pulled me back onto my feet. “Get into bed,” he said kindly. “Your dad is at rest in the church vault––”
“You didn’t… you didn’t have a funeral?”
Daniel helped me into my bunk. He pulled the cover over me. “We wouldn’t do that, Mina. He’s just at rest there until you’re better.”
“You’re not… you’re not going to make me drink tea as well are you?”
“No.” He stroked my hair. “Will you be all right?”
I shook my head. “Not on my own.”
“Want me to stay with you?”
“Yes.”
Daniel climbed into the bed and held me as the drugs worked their way out of my body. I fell asleep listening to the soft sounds of his breathing.
*
The next day we carried torches into the catacombs. Daniel watched me with level eyes. His gaze produced new feelings on top of the gnawing grief. Even after I’d hurt him and everyone around me, he still took care of me. He was still here. I struggled to meet his eyes. Every kind touch brought warmth to my cheeks.
“Stop feeling guilty,” Hiro whispered. “He still loves you.”
“How long was I incoherent for?” I asked, ignoring his instructions about Daniel.
“Just over a day,” he said. “It was scary.”
I took his tiny hand in mine. “I’m sorry.”
Hiro’s eyes filled with tears and he ran away to Kitty. I had a lot of bridges to mend.
Daniel held my hand in the catacombs, but it just reminded me of the shame and guilt. I killed my own father. The horrible cold came back as I thought of him lying in the vault with the rest of the dead. My torchlight found marble coffins – dusty from the years. It hit me like a train. Dad belonged with the dead now. He would never breathe, or eat, or talk. He would rot in a marble coffin with the others.
“Let’s get this over with,” I said. My voice shook with emotion, and it took all my concentration to hold back the tears. I had to keep it together.
“Where do you want your father to lay at rest?” asked the priest.
“I don’t… I don’t know. He didn’t believe in anything,” I said. “I think he wanted to be cremated. He always said it was more… practical.” The words sounded so impersonal – as though I was talking about how to dispose of a house plant. This was no way for a life to end.
“He lives on in your heart.” The priest placed a hand on my shoulder and his strength helped me.
I nodded. “Yes. I suppose he does.” A swelling rush of emotion took me over and I turned to run away from the group… Matthew stopped me and pulled me into his arms.
“Listen to me, Mina,” he said, so quietly only I could hear. “If I hadn’t trusted Anna in the first place, none of this would’ve happened. If you hadn’t let Anna in, Jonathon would be alive. But if he’d told us…” He sighed. “He was a stubborn and proud man afraid of his failures, and afraid to tell the truth. You didn’t do anything wrong. If he’d faced up to his own problems, none of us would be mourning his death.
“He dealt with everything by running away, and by locking the truth away in his own mind. You can’t blame yourself for that.”
The words resonated with me. No, I couldn’t blame myself for what happened with Anna, but I could blame myself for always wanting to run away – just like Dad.
“Say goodbye, Mina,” Matthew said. “That’s all we can do now. We say goodbye and we move on.”
That day we burned my father and I said goodbye. We all did.
*
The next day, I read through the Gestalt project and shared it with the other Freaks. Dad’s words echoed between the lines. I heard him telling me his story with his last breath as I read about our history with my mother. We were her monsters. She was our Frankenstein. I guess I really did find the Frankenstein I’d been looking for.
Today I realised the children are connected. They feel each other’s pain. Hiro is still a toddler, and yet he gave Mina his bear when she banged her knee. When Daniel has a vision, Mike shares his chocolate with him. They are more like brothers and sisters than friends. It’s as though their heightened senses recognise each other.
Daniel remains the most fascinating of the children. His visions are so real and intricat, that it’s unlike anything I predicted. The enhanced sight works in his subconscious, meaning that he couldn’t tell you his predictions until he has a flash, or vision. He isn’t ‘psychic’ in that way. He’d never be able to read people.
Yet I worry about the toll it takes on his physical health. The nosebleeds and the migraines suggest that it is too much for one mind to cope with. I worry that each vision shortens his life in some way. Could it develop into a tumour? I hope not. I really do.
My Mina is the strongest. She has the most power because her sense gives her the ability to inflict pain. I love watching her train. I love the effortless way she lifts objects with her mind. I can’t wait to teach her more, to help her become the strongest human being on the planet.
Catherine and Mike are perhaps the weakest of the group. Their gifts aren’t as impressive as the other children, but together they strengthen each other. They have the hardest time connecting to other people. Mike’s gift is more of a hindrance than a help to him. Being around other humans makes him physically ill. I worry that he will never cope with human emotion; that he will never find someone to share his life with. The same goes for Kitty and Hiro. To taste, smell, or hear the worst of human nature – it is a fate I would not wish on myself. When I look at them I worry about the Gestalt project. I worry that I’ve done the wrong thing…
“Do you think she did the wrong thing?” I said. “We wouldn’t be here.”
“Of course she did. She made us into unlovable Freaks. Who will ever want to be with us now? Who will ever want to be around us?” Mike shot a furtive glance to Kitty.
They sat away from each other on the basement floor. It was so weird to see them apart. I’d only ever known them together, glued to each other’s side. Did they break up?
Hiro nodded.
So they had. What a shame. Daniel sat beside Mike. I watched him fiddle with the sleeve of his shirt and wondered if there was anyone better for us in the world, or if we were meant for each other. He looked up and met my eyes. I blushed and turned away.
“We grew up together,” I said after a brief pause. “And we didn’t even recognise each other.”
“Yeah we did,” said Kitty. “We just didn’t know it then. I know it’s all really scary, but at least we have each other. That’s never going to change, right?”
I pulled Hiro to my side. “Not anymore, no.”
Daniel stood to leave and I scrambled to my feet. He walked so quickly I had to rush to trail him. “Daniel? Where are you…? Wait.” I caught up with him near the kitchen. “What’s the matter?”
“Didn’t you read all that? She thinks I’m going to die. She thinks my brain is going to explode or something.”
“She doesn’t know anything,” I said. “What she did has never been done before. Any of us could, you know… explode. At any time.”
He grinned and my heart skipped a beat. It was the same half smile I’d grown to know and love.
“You’re you again,” he said.
It’d been a long time since I felt like myself.
“I wasn’t sure if you ever would be.”
“Really?” I moved closer. He’d grown. He towered over me now: a fully grown man, with a broad chest and slight stubble on his chin. I felt the warmth spread through my fingers and arms – longing to touch him. Then that cold feeling of grief came back and I stepped away.
He nodded. I could tell there was more he wanted to say. Who was I kidding? I couldn’t expect him to wait around for me while I went evil and killed my father. I didn’t deserve him anyway.
“I’m not completely myself,” I admitted.
“What do you mean?” Daniel asked.
I moved towards the kitchen counter and focussed on a spoon left on the side. I made it lift an inch or so, bracing myself for what I knew was to come. The cold panic gripped me, and I dropped the spoon, barely before it lifted. My heart beat fast, and I had to take three deep breaths to steady myself. Daniel placed a hand on my shoulder. He stared deeply into my eyes.
“Are you all right?” he asked.
I took another deep breath and tried to calm the panic in my chest. I felt knotted and jittery inside – like my stomach twisted and ants crawled under my skin. It was one of the most horrible feelings I’d ever had, and it happened every time I tried to use my power.
“Yeah,” I said eventually. “I can’t use my power anymore, though. It doesn’t work now.”
“You’re just upset,” he said. “Don’t worry. It’ll come back.”
I wasn’t so sure. After using it for evil and causing my dad’s death… No, I had to stop that thought before I started to cry again. So I changed the subject.
“Luce is nice,” I said. “She really likes you.”