“All of these are new symptoms?”
“Yes.”
She runs her thumb over the crystals, brushing them away. “These don’t leave behind blood. They’re growing over top your skin, not into it.” I nod, already knowing that. “Red crystals,” she hums, glancing up into my eyes.
“I know what you’re thinking,” I murmur. “But I can save him.”
The Old Mother places her hand on my belly and rubs. It’s a strange reaction, one I don’t expect from her. “Child,” she murmurs, making sure I’m looking into her eyes. “You can’t save someone who willingly drowns, who doesn’t want to kick their legs. They’ll only pull you down with them.”
“That isn’t true. I can be strong enough for the both of us.”
“Oh, you’ll need to be strong alright.” She turns towards the opening of the tent, leaving me.
“Wait! You didn’t say what’s wrong with me.” I grab her hand to stop her, intent on finding out what she knows. “Please. Am I sick?” If I’m sick, if I’m dying, preparations will need to be made. I’ll have to make sure Bear knows enough to take care of our people.
Her wise eyes stare into mine, studying my face, the tiny red crystals that grow along my cheekbone that I brush away. “There’s nothing wrong with you, Tiger Lily.”
“There is,” I insist. “I can feel it. I’m suffering from some—”
“You’re pregnant.”
My heart stops and I have to grab onto the post of the tent, so I don’t collapse. “What?” The word is choked out, barely understandable, but the Old Mother knows.
“Three months along judging by the slope of your stomach but that’s a little difficult to place. I assume it happened a month ago when you were gone for too long from camp, and with everyone aging, time is speeding the process up.”
“I’m pregnant?” I can barely get the words out on a choked whisper, my hand going to my stomach.
“Find your strength, Chieftess,” she murmurs, a smile on her face. “The Tribe is going to have its first baby.”
A baby. My baby. I blink.
Peter’s baby.
“Peter,” I call, keeping my body behind the tree. I’m showing now, and I wouldn’t have ventured out of the Tribe, wouldn’t have revealed my weakness to anyone, but I need to tell Peter. The Old Mother predicts I’m somehow five months along, my stomach slowly rounding. The rest of the Tribe has taken to protecting me, taking care of me, especially Bear. The man is excited to be an uncle to the baby, to help raise it. Even now, Bear and three other members of my Tribe hover a little further away, just in case I need help. They refused to allow me to waddle through the trees alone and I don’t blame them. I’m vulnerable in my current state. I know I am. I won’t let my pride get in the way of keeping the baby safe.
“Peter,” I call again from behind my tree, just outside the Hollow. The red crystals try to crawl up my arm, my proximity to Peter making them come faster, but I brush them away.
“Lily?” I hear his door open, feel him look around me. “Where are you?”
“I need to talk to you.”
“Is this a game? I always did like Hide n’ Seek.”
“No, it’s not a game. I just need to talk before you see me.”
I hear the crunch as he moves over his crystals, coming to the outside of the trees. “You haven’t visited me again since the last time,” he chides, drawing closer. “I was starting to think you lied.”
“I didn’t lie, but Peter, I need you to think of things with an open mind right now. When we were together—”
“Where, oh, where could you be hiding?”
I snort in annoyance. “Peter, this isn’t a game. I’m not hiding from you. I just need you to listen.”
“I’m listening, Lily.” The crunching grows closer and then stops, telling me he’s reached the edge. He’s only steps from me, but I need to make him understand before he sees me. My heart races, beating hard inside my chest.
“Something happened when we were together. Something—”
Peter leaps around the corner, landing in front of me, his arms bracing on either side of my body. My eyes widen at the suddenness of it, at the sight of him a little older, his curls hanging over his forehead in the way I’ve always liked. He’s grinning, thinking he’s won some sort of game, but I can’t speak, can’t breathe, not when his eyes trail down and take notice of my rounded stomach between us.
He jerks away like I’ve burned him, his face twisting in a snarl. “What is this?” he hisses, his eyes blazing fire.
“That’s what I came to tell you,” I whisper roughly. “I thought you should know.”
“Know what?” He stares at me with wild eyes. “What’s wrong with you?”
Of course the boy who never wanted to grow up wouldn’t understand what a rounded belly means. If the situation wasn’t so strange, I might have laughed. I hold out my hand for Peter to take but he jerks away, not allowing me to touch him. I try not to let it hurt my feelings. He’s surprised. He’s scared. Anyone would react the same. I only meant to let him feel the baby kick.
“There’s nothing wrong with me.” I take a deep breath. “When we had sex, something happened. I started feeling strange, and suddenly, tiny red crystals were growing along my skin.” Peter’s eyes widen further. “No, they don’t hurt me. They’re easily brushed away, but I went to the Old Mother to ask her if I was sick.”
“Are you?” Peter takes a step closer. “Did I infect you with something?” His face twists at the realization that he could be the reason I’m sick, so I hurry to explain.
“I’m not sick, Peter.” I wait until he meets my eyes. “I’m pregnant.”
“Pregnant with what?”
My face twists in confusion. “A baby. What else would I be pregnant with?”
“I don’t know. This is Neverland. It could be anything.” He hesitates. “Who’s the father? Bear? If I’d have known you were already pregnant, I’d. . .”
I stare at Peter, flabbergasted. Even as an adult, he seems unable or unwilling to make the connection. It’s as if he doesn’t want to hear the words or face the truth.
“Peter,” I interrupt, taking a step towards him. “Peter, stop.” He falls silent, staring at me. “The baby is yours. I’m pregnant by you, but it’s going to be okay. The Old Mother said—”
“No,” he growls, cutting me off. “No. Absolutely not.”
“Peter—”
“No!” he growls. “If it’s from me, you need to get rid of it.”
“What?” I choke.
“I’m a fucking monster, Lily. What sort of baby can I have? Look at the way it grows my crystals along your skin, trying to consume you. It’ll rip you to shreds, just like I would. Monsters shouldn’t have babies.”
“It’s not a monster,” I hiss. “It’s a child!”
I can feel when Bear and the others move closer, and though I wave them away, they don’t move. Instead, they narrow their eyes on Peter and wait to see what he’ll do. Peter doesn’t even spare them a glance.
For long minutes, Peter and I stare at each other. We’ve spent so long as children, only growing up for a few months, I can’t imagine what it will be like when we stop aging, if we stop aging. The child growing in my stomach isn’t a monster, no matter what Peter believes, and I refuse to think of it like that.
“I won’t watch you die, Lily,” Peter whispers. “If you do this, I won’t be a part of it.”
Bear scowls at Peter but I hold up my hand to stop the words I know he wants to say. He’d been right when I’d argued Peter needed to know. Bear believed Peter wouldn’t accept responsibility, that he wouldn’t want anything to do with a child, that we shouldn’t trust him with a baby. It seems, my argument that I can save Peter is wrong.
“You said you loved me,” I murmur softly.
His face twists with some emotion I’ve never seen on him. “I didn’t lie,” he argues.
“Then why does it feel like you did?”
<
br /> He puts an arm behind his back, an odd action considering I’ve never seen him stand so properly, but he doesn’t say anything else. Peter does as he’s always done and takes off into the skies, avoiding consequences and reality. I watch him go, careful to keep the tears threatening to spill out inside. I can’t let my Tribe see me, can’t let them know how much I’m hurting.
“Tiger,” Bear whispers, taking my hands and looking into my eyes. “I’ll be there to help.”
“I know.” I clench my teeth. “I just thought. . .”
“It’s okay.” He starts to pull me away from the Hollow. “We all suffer from happy thoughts sometimes. It’s a side effect of Neverland. But let’s focus on taking care of you and the baby now. We’ll figure things out as they come.”
I choke on the words I want to say, failing at holding the emotions inside, but Bear doesn’t look at me like I’m weak. He never has, and that’s why he’s my leader. Though he’s dangerous in a fight, though he’s only weaker than me alone, his compassion is his defining feature. If only we looked at each other as anything more than a brother and sister.
“If I see Pan again, I might rip him to shreds,” Bear grunts as we join the others and make our way back to the Tribe.
“Don’t,” I murmur. You can’t save someone who willingly drowns, who doesn’t want to kick their legs. They’ll only pull you down with them. “He just doesn’t want to kick his legs.”
And I can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved.
No matter how much I may want to.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
The earth shakes and rolls beneath our feet, throwing off everyone’s balance.
“What are you doing?” Wolfbane snarls, looking between Wendy, Tink, and I like we’re in control of the pitching soil. “What new power is this?”
Tink hisses at my brother, and he flinches. He honestly believes we’re controlling it, and I’m even more surprised when he turns tail and calls a retreat. Wolfbane is afraid of us, of what he thinks we’re doing, but what scares me the most is that we aren’t the ones causing the shaking. Something else is, and this new threat isn’t from the Crocodile, which is apparent by the way he’s running.
As the Croc and the Lost climb back over the walls and disappear, leaving us with the disaster of the battle and the rumbling earth, I look around in confusion even as I hold Aniya close. March grabs onto me, and we end up protecting her between us, keeping her safe from anything that might fall.
Slowly, the shaking stops and I breathe a sigh of relief, but it’s premature. Neverland has never shaken before, so I don’t know what to expect. I certainly don’t expect anyone to have a reaction to it passed surprise.
Tink gasps and stumbles so suddenly, we all drop into a crouch expecting an attack. Her hand clasps over her heart, pain etched on her face even as she grabs onto the nearest tree to steady herself. I watch as black lines start to appear on her skin, along her neck and shoulders, shining beautiful lines where she’d had none before. Atlas takes a step towards her, as if he wants to help, but Cal holds him back, unsure if she’ll take the offering as an insult.
“Tink,” Wendy murmurs, moving toward the Pixie. “What’s wrong?”
Her pink eyes look up at Wendy and then meet mine, making sure we’re listening. “The heart,” she whispers. “The heart is dying.”
My blood runs cold. “As in we have time or right this second?”
“Right this second.”
And then everything and everyone erupts in chaos again.
PETER PAN
I watch as Tink stumbles and know what it means. I know what the black lines mean as they begin to appear on her skin like tattoos. I’ve seen it all before, once, written in the stars. In that prophesy, I’ve seen everything, though it didn’t make sense to a boy insistent on remaining a child. Now, the prophesy I’d dismissed from long ago begins to move, and I know what must be done. I know my role, even if the others don’t. We have to save the heart until Wendy can find the door.
“Take us to the heart.”
Tink looks up at my demand, at the stone in my voice, and when I expect her to fight me, to channel the Pixie Queen she is, she nods and manages to straighten. Wendy and Hook take up positions on her side, supporting her, when I’ve never seen the Queen allow anyone to support her in all the years I’ve known her. It should be shocking, but it’s not. She has to feel the waning power, the death tinged air lingering around us.
If the heart dies, Neverland dies, and there’s two people I want to survive.
Tink screams in agony, at whatever she’s feeling. As the Keeper of the Heart, the pain must be great if the land is flaring and dying. The fact she’s on her feet still shows her strength.
Everyone, the Pirates, Fae, and Tribe, panics around us, shouting, unsure what to do. Jupiter and White try to calm them, try to deescalate the chaos, but it’s difficult to do when they don’t know what they’re trying to curb. The heart flares again and I stumble, its power directly related to my own, but we have to keep going. We have to keep going if we want to have more time.
Tiger hands off Aniya to Bear, the only other person I trust to protect the little girl, and I watch the exchange. I’d go to her, if I could, the little girl who sees stars when she looks at me, but there’s no time. I wish there was more time.
I can save them. I can save them. I can save them.
Tink leads us into the trees and to the opening of a dark cave I didn’t even know existed here, but it makes sense. The heart should be close to where Tink resides, and the reason the Coven is stationary when the others are not suddenly seems far smarter than I ever gave thought to. I’m thankful for it now, since we don’t have to go far to reach it.
A pulsing red light casts strange shadows along the walls, spreading along the ground. Even the pulse seems off, not a steady pattern, more like a panicked heartbeat.
“Inside,” Tink rasps. “We have to go inside.”
We move together, the Berserker, Cat and his mate behind us, the strange Hare who gave Lily his heart, the Daughters and Hook and I. We make an odd group as we enter the darkness, as we round the corner and see the large red crystal on the pedestal in the center. It’s the size of a head, carved roughly into the anatomical shape of a human heart. The pulsing light comes from inside it.
“That’s it?” Cheshire asks, furrowing his brows. “I expected something bigger.”
“What it lacks in size, it makes up for in power,” Tink murmurs, moving forward to place her hand on the heart. It pulses with her power as she pushes it inside, but it does nothing. The light of the crystal begins to fade before our eyes, the beat growing ever slower.
The Berserker steps forward and shoves his large battle axe into a holder at his back, holding his hands around the crystal. “I think I can stabilize it for a few minutes, while you figure out what to do.” We all watch as the light flares brighter again and holds, under the straining muscles of Atlas. I don’t know how he knows to do it, or how he’s even able to with his powers not of our world, but it’s clear it’s working somehow.
“Be careful, Attie,” Cal murmurs, and when she comes forward to place her hand on his shoulders, the heart flares brighter. She gasps and grabs Cheshire, bringing him closer, adding to it, until Atlas strains a little less, until they’re sharing the responsibility between them.
Slowly, I turn to Tiger Lily and meet her eyes.
I know what I must do. It’s written in the stars.
TIGER LILY
I stare in surprise at the sight of Cheshire, Cal, and Atlas holding the heart of Neverland steady enough for us to figure out a plan. I never expected them to be able to help in such a way, and now that they are, the direness of the situation slams into me.
We’re all going to die.
My daughter, the first child born in Neverland, is going to die because we can’t stop it. March’s hand threads with mine, offering comfort, and I’m about to turn towards the others so we can figur
e out a plan, but my eyes catch on Peter as he turns to me, at the look on his face.
“Peter?” I tilt my head and something inside me revolts against his expression, but I don’t know why.
He moves closer and takes my hand, so I’m holding onto both him and March at the same time. “I never lied,” he whispers. “I just want you to know that.”
My chest squeezes. I can feel everyone’s eyes on us, can feel them listening, but I don’t care. I can feel it. This moment is the moment everything changes, the event that will set everything in motion. “I know, Peter. I know you didn’t lie.”
He leans down and presses the lightest kiss against my brow. I stop breathing, because this kiss, it feels like a good-bye.
“This is where my destiny ends, Lily,” he whispers.
I feel March squeeze my other hand, but I can’t focus on that. My eyes are transfixed to Peter Pan, to the words he speaks. Anger slams into me. We’ve spent centuries dancing around each other, fighting the pull, and then when we finally gave in and admitted our feelings, when we started to grow, when I got pregnant, we returned to the dance. We went back to pretending it never happened, to dancing around each other, to me offering a hand and Peter refusing to take it. Somehow, I know it’s because of this moment, because of whatever he’s known all along. But though we’ve had centuries to dance, we haven’t had the time to love, and it makes me so angry, I can’t breathe.
“It doesn’t,” I growl. “It doesn’t have to end here, Peter.”
He takes a step toward the heart, to do what, I’m not sure, but I tighten my hand in his and hold on.
“You have two soulmates, Lily. And one of them, you deserve the love shining in his eyes. You don’t deserve to drown alongside me. I won’t allow you to. I’ve known this moment was coming for a long time. You have to let me go.” His words, so close to what the Old Mother told me before, slam through my body, but now that the moment is here, I can’t bring myself to release him. “Lily, you have to let me go.”
Fierce as a Tiger Lily (Daughters of Neverland Book 2) Page 18