by Leigh Lennon
I want to know everything, from the beginning to the end and every decision that has been made to keep my daughter from me. I’m about to start when Burbank interrupts, “Your questions will be answered but for now, we need to move to our next spot. Sasha took a large risk coming to you today. We begged her to let myself or Sylvie reach out to you.”
“You had someone trail her, right?” I ask but I know the answer. If I were to venture to guess, Sasha didn’t know.
Sylvie interrupts, “Of course, believe it or not, Jacob, I care for them. They have become my family in the past three years.”
I raise my hand to cut her off. I don’t want to know what she has done for my family. This is all on her, if she’d not given me an ultimatum, I’d have been with Sasha from the beginning and I’d be protecting them. I only say, “You don’t want to get me started on how I feel about all you’ve done for my girl and daughter since I was in the dark. So, fucking save it, Sylvie.” She nods, but I finish by saying, “We will sure as fuck discuss this later, that is for fucking sure.”
“Oh, I can’t wait,” she says in her dry sarcastic way.
Burbank, her voice of reason, only nods, “Okay, if you two are done with your pissing contest, let’s get going. I have a transport that will be a mile ahead of us, and a mile behind us. You and Sasha and Miss Audrey will be in one car, and we will be ahead of you.”
I only nod and wonder how many names this poor girl has. But it fits since I have many little nicknames for Sasha. With the logistics underway, I make my way up the stairs, hearing Sasha and our girl laughing behind the door at the end of the hallway. When I knock, the door opens a bit and this little girl I just met runs, catapulting herself into my arms.
“You have a fan, Davis,” Sasha says and I can only agree because I’m pretty sure I’ll always be this little one’s biggest fan.
I’m about to say something to Ginger when our daughter spouts out, “Woman, my name Davis. Gunna have to do somefing about dis, Pops.”
I can see in the future that these two women that own my heart will have a battle of the wills, but for now, I’ll relish this smart-mouthed daughter of mine, knowing she came about her sassiness naturally.
Before her mom can correct her, I place her on the bed, though we are still not at eye level. “See, I was thinking. Your mama calling us both Davis may not work. So, do you know what Junior means?”
She nods her head no and I continue, while I look over Junior’s shoulder, watching Sasha stare at us. “It’s a way of saying you have the same name as your dad but having a different way to say it without confusing people. The older parent is normally called Senior.”
She brings her little lip into a small scrunch on one side, which is an expression I have seen her mom do many times. “I yike it. You call me Junior.” Then she looks at her mom, “And woman, dat means you, too!” Sweeping her away from the wrath of Sasha, I can only smile and laugh at my daughter. Yes, the phrase “my daughter” will never get old.
8
Sasha
We are in the car, a new car. Separate from the one I drove to Jake’s house. I have been checking Little Davis’s temperature like crazy, making sure she’s okay with the procedure. Jake has asked nothing about the series of shots he will have to undergo for Junior but I know he will go through with it. One look in his eyes, he’s hooked on our girl.
I sit in back with Junior, as Jake has been calling her, and I’ve been ordered by the little general to use that name now over any other one. I have to say, it fits my little firecracker. I’m always in the back with her whenever we move from place to place. There is nothing more I’ll do, with my very last breath, than protect my little girl.
I have gotten her to fall asleep, after the business of the day, and I lean forward to tap Jake on the shoulder. He’s in a zone but doesn’t startle, just adjusts the mirror to look at me. “I wish I could get you to move up front for now.”
Shaking my head no, I ask, “Are you okay, Davis? I dumped a lot on you today.”
He sighs, then inhales as if what he’s about to say will be long-winded. “Ginger, I can’t tell you what today has done to me, not yet. I’m still trying to figure it out. But right now, my only goal is to get you and Junior to safety.”
Leaning forward, I don’t think when I put my hand on his shoulder and in a second his hand reaches mine. I’m equally surprised when he says, “That is it, Ginge. Just act, don’t overthink things. And by the way, wherever we stop tonight, you better believe we will be in the same room, together. Got it?” he asks.
Thinking I’ll protest this order of his, I only reply, “Got it, Davis.” He expected a fight but I continue, “Anyway, you will have to start the shot regimen to get you ready for the bone marrow procedure.”
He doesn’t flinch, “Listen, cupcake, I’ll take a bullet for our girl so a little prick of a needle is no fucking big deal.”
I love how he just comes out with his feelings about our girl. “She’s pretty perfect, isn’t she?” I ask.
Winking at me through the mirror, Jake’s smile could talk me into anything, with his dimples and green eyes. “She’s more than perfect, sugar, she’s heaven, our little slice of heaven.”
Getting a cryptic text from Sylvie, I finally deduce we are stopping for the night. We will be arriving in Portland in the morning where the only doctor that has ever seen Junior has a wing he’s erecting just for my little girl. I don’t know details but I trust Sylvie, though that will not fly with Jake.
I very rarely see the side detail that Burbank uses for our protection he claims he trusts with his life. Knowing there is more than just an asset to protect, with Sylvie being his wife and all, I understand he’s more vested in the welfare of this mission.
As the side detail secures rooms on either side of where Jake and I will be, I assume Jake is going to want to settle things with Sylvie. But when Sylvie knocks on our adjoining room, she only says, “I know I have a lot to go over with Jake, but tonight, you need this. Let me take Merida for a while.”
“For fuck’s sake, I’m not going to jump his bones,” I say, trying to believe those words myself.
“No, I’m not saying that and by the way, I don’t believe you believe that for one second, but I know you both have shit to work out. Then after you work it out, I’ll be able to share everything with him about why I did what I did. I’m not putting this on you, but I know he will understand better after both of you sort out your shit!”
Shaking my head no, she moans at my stubbornness, the same way she’s always done when I dig in my heels. “Sasha, don’t pull this shit with me. Luchen, he tried to give you everything, but you had nothing to return because your heart has belonged to that big lug for the past three years.”
She’s not wrong, as much as I cared for Luchen, I could never will myself to love him. “Okay, but not all night. I only sleep well when Junior is near me.”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake, he has her renamed already? I should have known.” Peaking over my girl who is coloring at the table while Jake is outside with Burbank, Sylvie turns to Junior, “Hey, Merida, Burbank is getting pizza. Want to have some with us next door?”
Junior is out of her seat and in Sylvie’s arms. As Jake enters the room, he starts to panic not seeing our daughter until I say, “Sylvie wanted us to talk. She has Junior next door, just for a while.”
With the door closed, I can’t help but feel I’m about to receive a lecture. “Ginger, I don’t trust her.” He closes the gap between us and he’s in my space. He sweeps my hair out of my face. “I know she has kept you safe, but Sylvie Howard does nothing without an agenda.”
I know this. I’m not dumb. I have come to care for Sylvie, deeply, and this comes from a woman that doesn’t have girlfriends. Women are too much drama for me. Always have been. Plus, there is the matter of trust that my dad blew out of the water years ago. Anna could be considered my only friend and well, that wasn’t what I thought.
Crawling ont
o the bed with my back firmly against the backboard, Jake takes my legs and places them on his lap. “Ginge, talk to me.”
“Davis, I’m not fucking stupid. I know Sylvie came to me with an agenda and used you and your sister, along with Mack and Anna and who knows who else to obtain it, but over the years, our safety has been her number one priority. I grew up with my father, trust was never given freely, certainly not after my mom was killed.”
I’m not sure why I’m nervous, this is my Davis after all. Only knowing him ten days, my world has never been the same. Not only because of the gift of our daughter. He has ruined me for any man. I did try to love again, simply because it was nice to be loved, but my heart has and always will belong to Jake Davis.
However, I’m stubborn as fuck and as Jake starts to rub my legs, I bring them up to my chest, and he can only laugh at me. “Ginger, no use in resisting. You have been mine since the Caymans and you will be mine again.”
I shirk off this statement because we have other pressing matters to contend with. “As I was saying,” I start, but he doesn’t interrupt me as I expect, “She’s always shot straight with me, Davis, her goal is to bring down my father. It’s not a secret. Now, living off the grid for almost three years, she has not had the access to stuff that she would have if she still was an operative. Her goal is to provide us with safety until I can get back in the good graces of my father and figure out how I can take down the SOB.”
Jake is off the bed the second I reveal Sylvie’s plans. Pacing the floor, he’s shaking as much as he was when he met Junior for the first time. It doesn’t take him but thirty seconds and he’s again in my space, kneeling at the side of the bed in the seedy hotel room we are occupying for the night. Taking my hand and tilting my head down to see him, his lips are curved downward and his eyebrows are furrowed.
“I’m telling you this right now, Ginge, you are sure as fuck never going back to your father. I’ll not allow it, not for you, not for me and sure as hell not for the welfare of our daughter. Losing your mom crippled you. Losing my mom? It did the same to me. I’ll never allow that for our daughter.”
Sliding out of bed and kneeling next to the man that owns my heart, I cup his cheeks, “Mom deserves justice.”
“Your mom, like my mom, deserves justice. No way I’ll argue with you, but Ginge, sugar, your mom would never want you to risk your life to get it. Just like you would not want Junior to risk her life, right?”
He’s right. I collapse in his arms. He holds me and in his embrace, I’ve never felt safer.
I only realize I’m crying when he takes his index finger and wipes each individual stream from my face. “Ginge, I’m back and I’m not going anywhere. The quicker you accept this, for both you and Junior, the easier it will be to get on with our life. The one we missed three fucking years of.”
Standing, breaking the warmth of his closeness, I practically bolt from him. “There’s a lot of shit we did to one another.”
“True, Ginge, but it wasn’t meant to hurt either one of us. Sure as fuck, I knew it would hurt you to let you go, but shit, I thought of your safety as you only thought of our girl's safety, when you kept her from me.”
The words aren’t meant with malice but I feel a sting of hurt in the way he delivers it. “Are you ever going to be able to forgive me for keeping her from you?”
Walking toward me, I freeze with his body closing in on mine. Stopping a foot from me, he opens his mouth and asks, “Are you able to forgive me for letting you go in the first place?”
Sucking in a cleansing breath, I pause, wondering how I can answer it. This set everything in motion from the beginning. Though, in Sylvie’s words, Jake would have been in danger. That’s why she’d been so ruthless with him, the day she delivered the news of my birthright into one of the most corrupt families with ties to the Russian mob, but fuck, Daddy Dearest was the fucking Russian mob.
There is still so much Jake doesn’t know, but that is a conversation for Sylvie, though he probably won’t believe half of what comes out of her mouth anyway.
“Davis,” I exhale the long breath, finally, “It’s not that simple.”
Within a second, his lips hover over mine, so close I can taste his breath. It’s like remembering a signature of Jake Davis that I have never forgotten.
“Ginger, for what it’s worth, I forgive you. I mean, it hurts like fuck that I missed our daughter’s firsts, but never again. I’m not missing any more of her life. Please tell me you forgive me.”
Still so close to me. I understand I’m not mad at him, hurt yes, but I’m mad at myself for all the shit I have had to take on. “Davis,” I back up from him because I have to get it all out. “I’m a shell of a woman without you in my life.” He takes that as a sign to advance on me but I’m not done. When I halt him, his face is still determined to get me, to allow him back into my life. “It’s about forgiving myself. Not camping on your front porch or telling Sylvie to fuck off and coming to you when I had the whole picture. Now there are things you need to know, but that is a conversation for you and Sylvie. I have to know that regardless of what happens, you will be by my side with the threats we may face.”
This time when he advances, I don’t stop him. “Ginge, if you are wondering if I’ll let you go again, I can guaran-fucking-tee that I’m not going anywhere without you and our daughter. You and me? I have never gotten over us because you own my heart. Hell, you live in it. No one else stands a chance because it has a sign that says ‘Reserved for Ginger.’ So to answer your question, I’m never leaving you again.”
Now, standing so close to me I can smell the gum in his mouth, I lean my head forward and touch his, “Davis, I never got over you. Being away from you broke me.”
Still, with our foreheads resting on one another, he touches my cheek, “Ginge, this whole thing, you don’t know how much I wish I could take it back, the note and all.”
Rolling back on my heels, I only stare into the green orbs that had me three years ago. “Do you still love me?” he asks.
“I never stopped, Davis, never.” His lips hover over mine and I can almost imagine them touching me when the door slams open and our daughter comes running into our room.
“Mommy, Senior, we are ordering pizza. Auntie Sylvie said!”
Jake looks at me, whispering, “To be continued, Ginge.” He turns around on the soles of his shoes, scooping up our girl and says, “I like Senior but you can call me Daddy if you would like.”
She looks at me, almost for permission. “It’s fine, sweetie, you can call him Daddy. That’s what he is to you.”
Bringing her head to his forehead, very close to how we had been standing just minutes before, Junior looks at her dad and smiles. “I wove you, Daddy. Tanks for fining us.”
I can’t contain the tears but instead of either of them noticing I am crying, they are involved in their own moment together, father and daughter, and nothing has ever been more beautiful.
9
Jake
I could almost taste her but I didn’t and I couldn’t be mad. Normally, I would have wanted to take someone’s head off, but not my sweet girl who called me Daddy and told me she loved me in the same sentence.
But Ginge said something to me that made me realize a part of her is gone. Her spunk is missing, she’s not the same fire and brimstone, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned attitude she had on the islands. Now, it looks like Junior got all of that but when Ginger told me that being away from me broke her, I see it now.
Now with Junior on my lap and Ginge looking out the window to watch for Burbank arriving with the pizza, I see it more pronounced and I make a vow. I’ll get my broken Ginger back to the saucy and spicy little number that did me in three years ago.
When Burbank bursts into the room from the adjoining suite, Junior hops out of my arms and runs to the pizza. “Traitor,” I tease and Ginge snickers. Shit, I missed that laugh. It’s not quite as bubbly as it was on the islands but fuck, it’s Ginge and
with it comes the familiarity of all we can build together.
An hour later, when Ginge puts Junior in bed, my daughter’s eyes wander over to me and in her most articulate words for a two-year-old, she stares, as though she’s about to cry. “Senior Davis Daddy, you be here tomorrow when I wake?” Her eyes are so big and in them, I see the same sad boy that I once was, who used to cry for his mom when bad dreams woke him.
I kneel down by her bed, grab her hand and whisper, “You and your mommy will never get rid of me. You are stuck with me, little cupcake.” She only laughs at me.
“Senior Davis Daddy, you fun wif names fir me and Mommy.”
Kissing her on the cheek, I reply, “I am.”
Looking at Ginge, who is smiling at our little exchange, she changes her tone to that of a mom when she insists, “Junior, you need to go to bed. Big day tomorrow, sweetheart.”
Kissing her one last time, I catch her eyes as they silently tell their story, realizing I can get lost in them when I say, “Sleep tight, sugar.”
Still laughing at my funny words, I reach for Ginger’s hand and she doesn’t pull away. Bringing her close to me, I whisper, “I need you, Ginge.”
“I know, but with Junior, we can’t.”
We can’t, she’s right because when we’re finally back together, I don’t want to be reserved or quiet or anything but wild, because being back inside Ginger will undo both of us.
“You may be right but I can still hold you,” I insist but there is more I want to explore with her. “You know, Ginge, you need to forgive yourself.” I tip her chin up to look into those eyes of hers. “Part of this is odd, I have been with you for eight hours and I refuse to imagine my life without you again.”
“I know.” She settles into the other bed opposite Junior and I don’t give her much time of being without me. “I have not been myself for so long. Now that you are back, maybe I can find myself again.” There is the sadness that is crippling my sultry and saucy redhead.