by Lisa Prysock
A few days later, Hazel decided she’d venture out on a ride. The roads were cold enough that the earth was packed and not muddy nor icy. There was still a lot of snow in the meadows, but if she stuck to the well-travelled road running before Silver Aspen, her ride might be an enjoyable one. She wandered into the barn, slipping through the large doors without making a sound. The lead to a horse in her hands, she was about to go through the door to the tack room for help with a saddle when she stopped short.
She heard Wade and Jack talking somewhere around the corner to her right, but they never stopped speaking to acknowledge her presence. She could only assume perhaps they hadn’t heard her enter the large barn, but she could hear every word they spoke.
“There are five things I cannot abide by,” Wade was saying. “Laziness, thievery, dishonesty, tempers flaring up, and ungodly, unkind behavior.” It sounded as though he was polishing a leather saddle from the way his voice moved back and forth.
Hazel stepped toward the half-door to look through the window into the tack and storage part of the barn to have a closer view of the men and their discussion. Something about Wade always drew her, though she couldn’t stand the man. She knew he didn’t care for her. His eyes said what he wouldn’t let his mouth say. Only now, he made his true feelings perfectly clear.
All of the qualities he mentioned could be an accusation aimed directly at her. She’d proven herself lazy enough to escape doing dishes and helping with other housework. She hadn’t paid for anything during her stay or contributed in any way to the ranch. Perhaps her father had sent some funds, but still, it was akin to stealing to remain somewhere without contributing.
She had neglected to tell them the truth that she didn’t want to go to church and had lied about being sick every Sunday. She was dishonest through and through on the holiest day of the week. The red rose teapot and arguing with Wade in a snowstorm had been the objects of her temper. She did nothing to help other people, didn’t set foot in church, or care what others thought of her. She was rarely kind. When she did have something to say, it usually came out as a complaint, a negative, or a snap. Didn’t all of those things add up to being ungodly? She hardly prayed at all, and she’d given her stepmother and father an awful time of it when she’d been back in England.
“I assure you, I have none of those qualities inside me, thank the good Lord above for His mercies in shaping my character through many a trial. I’ll be a good husband to Esther Louise, I promise.” Jack Morton was standing a few feet away from Wade, his hat in his hand. She couldn’t see his eyes, but his voice sounded sincere. “I accompany Miss Jefferson to church every Sunday.”
“I’ll have to pray about it, Jack, but I’ll let you know in a few days,” Hazel heard Wade say. However, her eyes filled with tears and she quietly fumbled around for a saddle in the main part of the barn. She hoisted it on top of the chestnut gelding and buckled the belts around the girth of the horse as she’d seen stable hands do a thousand times. Then she mounted the horse and fled the scene, steering him out onto the lane leading to the road.
She knew she was right. The man hated her, and she was fairly sure she felt the same about him. Tears stung her eyes in the wind as she urged her horse into a gallop. When would her trials be over? Was she being forged in the furnace of affliction? Would she ever stop feeling broken, hurt, worthless, hopeless, and angry? What did she care what Wade Jefferson thought about her anyways?
Chapter 13
* * *
Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. Philippians 2:12
Hazel rode the horse at a steady gallop all the way to Belle, the hood to her fur-trimmed cloak flying out behind her. Upon reaching the town border, she steered the gelding toward the steeple rising above the buildings, ignoring the mountains in the distance. She kept her gloved hands tight around the reins, and slowed the horse as they plodded through the streets, ignoring the occasional townsperson out and about. The January thaw was nice enough weather to keep her from freezing, and her emotions cooperated in maintaining warmth for her body as they seemed to course through her veins on the long ride.
She looked around the town a little, but barely glanced at The Paradise where she’d stayed with Wade during the blizzard. She noted the café and the general store, passed the livery, and continued toward the north to her right, her eyes on the scenic church. It drew her like a magnet through the vale. When she reached the church yard, she dismounted, tethering the horse to a hitching post. She patted the horse, swiping another tear from her eyes.
“I’ll find you some water before we head home,” she promised, remembering she’d seen a water trough near the livery. She didn’t even know the name of the chestnut gelding. Then she leaned her head on the horse. “I’m going to call you Salvation, because you brought me here to seek out the Redeemer. Be patient and I will return after I have a talk with Him.”
She stepped around the four-legged beauty and gingerly climbed the steps to the double doors of the church. Thankfully, they opened to allow her inside when she turned the knobs. All at once, she was aware of the presence of the Lord in the building. It was quiet, calm, and peaceful, unlike the torrent of emotions inside her mind and heart. Looking around, she didn’t see anyone, but passing by the rows of pews, she made her way to the altar. There, she knelt down, collapsing in a heap over the sacred, polished boxes designed for prayer.
She lay her head on one of her elbows and closed her eyes, shutting out everything but this moment with her Maker. Hazel wept inconsolably for a long while, telling the Lord in her mind what her tears were about so both she and He would know. She poured out her heart about everything she’d endured in her span of twenty-one years.
She wept for the loss of her mother, for her temper and shortcomings, for her failures and lack of insight. She wept for having to endure her stepmother and the loss of her father to a woman she did not like or trust. She wept because she wanted to like Ms. Beatrice Riggs, but could not yet find this in her heart. She wept for the mayhem she’d caused in her father’s household, the consequence of being sent away, her poor motives about almost everything stemming from her hardened attitude, and her lack of talents.
She wept because she had lost her chance with her Charles and there was nothing she could do to return to England in time to win him back.
She wept hard for feeling like such an ungracious and worthless woman in the eyes of Wade Jefferson, realizing perhaps for the first time that she cared a great deal for the man. She realized as she wept upon the altar, she possibly even loved Wade. Could she ever be as good, and kind, and gracious as Mia, Esther Louise, Miss Flora, or Aunt Prudence?
She wept for her lack of knowing Jesus, the Savior of all mankind. She wept for not being good enough to be in His presence, asking him to purify and redeem her once again with salvation like he’d done for her as a child when she’d asked with a pure heart.
When her tears had subsided and she’d finished pouring out her heart, after a short while, she felt a peace and a comfort she hadn’t known in a long time. Bible verses she’d heard the Stantons read at Silver Aspen flooded her mind, verses about His unfailing love, His plenteous mercy, and His compassion for people. Feeling a sense of release in her spirit, Hazel knew the Lord had forgiven her. She felt a hope rising and welling up in her soul that He would take care of her. She knew He would guide her. She’d never again be alone if she remained close to Him, and spent time with Him in His Word.
When she was done praying, she rose from the altar feeling comforted and consoled, the last two things she’d ever expected to find. It was then that she knew she’d met with a kind and merciful, gracious Lord. Jesus had forgiven her and He would equip her for His work.
Chapter 14
* * *
The Lord is my strength and song, and He is become my salvation: He is my God, and I will prepare him an habitation
; my father’s God, and I will exalt him. Exodus 15:2
“Mia, I can hardly believe how many ladies have attended. How can I ever thank you for your help in making this event a true success?” Hazel stood back to survey the women in the elegant dining room at The Paradise, pushing her concerns far from her mind about Wade having had dinner again last night with Miss Fox and her father. She looked out over a sea of hats with plumes, ostrich feathers, flowers, ribbon, fur, and all sorts of ladies in their winter finery.
Lady Stanton smiled and squeezed her cousin’s hand. “You needn’t thank me, Hazel. I was happy to help you organize this benevolent tea for Wade’s future orphanage. This is a wonderful cause. I believe the Lord gave you the idea and I am happy to support it.” Then she chuckled. “Besides, it gave Ambrosia and all of us at Silver Aspen something useful and honorable to do as well.”
“There must be seventy-five women here from all over the area.” Hazel marveled as she looked about the room at the ladies enjoying tea, scones, jams, tiny cakes, decadent puddings, and an assortment of finger sandwiches.
Mia smiled and nodded as they made their way to their own table near the fireplace. “It only made sense to invite our neighbors from Laramie and Fort Bridger. Besides, many of these women will never be invited to a true English tea. They’re American women. The idea of having tea with a true British hostess and a titled Lady is a lofty and dreamy one to most of them.”
“I suppose it is a nice break from the daily grind of chores and surviving winter on a Wyoming homestead for many here today.” Hazel couldn’t help but agree. Then she bit her bottom lip. “You don’t think asking fifty cents plus a donation is too much, do you? Fifty cents is less than the cost of the Valentine’s Sweetheart Dinner and Dance coming up soon.”
Mia shook her head. “No, I don’t think it is too much. Fifty cents covers the tea and scones, and the donations above that are funds Wade needs to purchase the lumber to build a grand farmhouse and put up some barns on his property for the orphanage. The house will need to accommodate a large number of children eventually. He needs plenty of extra space and bedrooms.”
“Yes, you are right.” Hazel nodded and sat down at her seat, placing her linen napkin in her lap. She straightened out the skirt to her brown silk gown and pulled her gloves tighter as the concierge approached. “I think the guests have been most generous with their giving. I think everyone gave more than the fifty cents. Surely we’ve raised a sufficient amount.”
The concierge reached their table and discreetly handed Hazel a folded piece of paper with two figures scrawled neatly on it. “Forgive me for interrupting, Lady Hazel and Lady Stanton. Here is the amount we’ve collected, and the second figure is the total you’ve raised for the orphanage.” Then he reached in his pocket and withdrew an envelope. “And here is a bank draft ready for you to purchase the materials for building the orphan home. Please let us know if you need anything else. It has been our pleasure to serve you today and to host this elegant tea. I believe you’ll find the owner of The Paradise has contributed a sizeable donation as well.”
The concierge bowed stiffly after Hazel and Mia thanked him. Then he smiled and disappeared again. Hazel peeked inside the envelope and nearly squealed, then stopped herself. She leaned forward and whispered over the cacophony of clanging teacups and saucers as women chatted, giggled, shrieked, and laughed throughout the room. “Oh my goodness, it’s far more than I expected! I am now more determined than ever to find out who this mysterious wealthy patron and owner of The Paradise might be.”
Hazel snapped her fan out and began fanning herself as fast as possible. She felt faint and giddy with excitement and happiness. It was three times more than she’d imagined they’d be able to raise. “Who do you suppose owns this place, Mia?”
“I have no idea, but won’t Wade be absolutely surprised?” Her cousin looked ready to burst with joy. “I can’t wait to see the look on his face when we present him with this bank draft. You know Joshua is bringing him here shortly.”
“No, I didn’t. However did you convince Joshua to bring him to a room full of ladies having tea? They’ll want to run as far away as possible.” Hazel giggled to think of it. She couldn’t imagine a rugged wrangler like Wade at this event, but she was glad he was coming so she could announce they’d earned the funds he’d need to begin building his wonderful orphanage.
Having him at The Paradise again might be a bit like trying to put a herd of cows inside a horse barn. The two didn’t mix, Joshua always said, but she was finding love was a sensible emotion. It called for unusual solutions. She was the last person on earth who anyone would expect to find a purpose in a country as rugged as the man she’d fallen for heart, mind, and soul.
Something had changed inside her heart. If being married to him and serving the Lord meant washing piles of dishes, cooking large quantities of soups and stews, washing copious amounts of laundry, and teaching children their lessons, then she would do it gladly for all of her days. Men like Wade didn’t come along very often, and she intended to have him—if he’d only have her. Hopefully it wasn’t too late. Hopefully, Mr. Jefferson wasn’t in love with Miss Fox. Please don’t let him be in love with Cora Fox, she prayed. When had Wyoming grown on her? It had wound its way around her heart alongside the man from Cheyenne.
“Never mind about how I managed to convince Joshua to bring him.” Mia chuckled, stirring a bit of sugar into her tea. “I have my methods. You will have to give the speech, though. It’s your moment to shine, so don’t suddenly lose your tongue or get all shy and embarrassed.”
“You’re a dear,” Hazel replied. “I promise to do the talking, but you have to introduce me. The townsfolk around here don’t really know me yet.”
“Certainly, and trust me, they’re going to love you,” Mia acquiesced as she reached for her teacup. “Are you ready to present Wade with the funds? Here comes my husband and Wade now. Aren’t they the two most handsome men in all the earth?”
“Indeed.” Hazel smiled as she continued to fan herself, watching Wade as Joshua ushered him toward their table. She felt her skin turn a shade of pink as heat rose to her cheeks. Joshua walked with a kind of step indicating he was a man of purpose, but Wade had that kind of swagger that said he was a man with a mission, a swagger that made her swoon.
Chapter 15
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House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the Lord. Proverbs 19:14
Wade paced on the front porch, a heaviness in his soul. They could never be together, as much as he wanted it to be different. He’d gone over it in his mind a hundred times. He was attracted to Hazel, and especially the changes he’d seen in her as she’d transformed before his eyes into a butterfly of compassion and thoughtfulness. The funds she’d presented him with for the orphanage had proven how much she’d changed and what a generous and kind heart she possessed. The Lord had transformed her as only He could.
She’d been taking her turn at washing dishes for two weeks now. He’d also seen her scrubbing laundry in the tub of boiling hot water, using the wash board. The next day, he’d caught her learning to iron, in spite of a burn she’d acquired bumping it. She’d been observing Fern in the kitchen, learning to make soups, too.
He was so proud of the changes in her, and nothing endeared her to him more than seeing her at church. He’d wanted to wrap his arm around her on the pew, but he’d had to sit in the second row behind the Stanton family. It was a stark reminder that he had a place to remember. He was merely an employee of Silver Aspen and Joshua Stanton.
They came from different worlds. He was an orphan, raised by a childless couple who’d taken him and his sister in at a young age. He’d worked hard to carve out a life, taking on all sorts of carpentry and odd jobs. He’d finally applied for his own corner in the world, filing a claim with the land agents in Belle, Nathaniel Morrow and his assistant, Darius Clark.
Now he’d be able to start building a homestead in the s
pring, and thanks to the funds Hazel had raised, he wouldn’t have to continue working for the Fox family on the side once he completed the work Cora and her father had hired him to do. He’d be bunking on his own ranch as soon as he had four walls and a roof built.
There yet remained a difficult problem for which he had no solution. Each time he thought about asking Hazel if she would consider beginning a courtship with him, or asking Joshua to court his wife’s cousin, he couldn’t figure out what the reaction might be. Would they think him forward? Would they send him packing? Would they be happy for him? Would Lady Hazel even consider him as a suitor? The whole situation tied his tongue up like a lasso around a bull’s neck.
He’d prayed about it, and while he felt as though he was on the right path, it was also a matter of how and when. Should he speak to Lady Hazel first? What if she wouldn’t even have him? What if that temper of hers flared up again and she had him terminated from Silver Aspen? What was he even thinking? Would she want to be married to a simple farmer and spend her life working hard at an orphanage, dealing with troubled children who likely would have heartache and suffering behind a myriad of actions?
If she did accept him, what if her relations thought him an inappropriate choice given her station in life? What if her father said no? While Lady Stanton kept her title and had married a cattle baron in Joshua Stanton, he was no cattle king, not yet anyhow. Wade was merely the owner of one horse and a claim without a single structure on it. He’d be starting from scratch to build his ranch. At least he had the funds to build a fine one, but still, he had a number of buildings to put up and he’d likely need help from everyone he knew to build a proper house and barns on the property.