Sam stared at his friend’s empty chair for a moment. Then he decided he was imaging that something was wrong. Jack was a hard worker and probably left something unfinished and he was eager to return to it.
“Good to be home?” Caroline asked as she took the seat across from Sam.
“Better than ever. You two wasted no time putting your mark on the sitting room.” They had moved some of the chairs as well as given the space a more thorough cleaning than it had had in some time. He turned to include Ruth. “I meant to say that I liked it.”
She said, “Thank you.” Then her hand came up to nervously smooth her hair, the same hair that had been casually spread across his pillow that morning. He had so wanted to reclaim that pillow.
He pulled himself from the distracting thoughts to focus on breakfast. “Good eggs,” he said between bites.
Caroline laughed. “Eggs are simple. You don’t have to compliment everything.”
“They’re good,” he said again. “Can’t help the thought from popping out of my mouth.”
“You don’t fool me, you know. I recollect a time when you weren’t always so nice.”
“You weren’t always a good cook.”
Caroline looked as though she was biting back a retort. She turned her attention to Ruth as she took the chair next to Sam. “How old were you before you were competent in the kitchen?”
“I think I could cook a fair amount by the time I was eight or nine. But I was my ma’s only child so it was easier for her to concentrate on my teaching.”
“I suppose I may have been a bit behind getting a handle on a few dishes.” Caroline eyed her brother sharply. “But there was still no call for you to use my cornbread to dam up the little creek.”
Sam attempted to appear remorseful for his childhood behavior but Caroline seemed so amused by it that he could hardly keep a straight face. “That only worked for a few minutes so I concede that the bread wasn’t as hard as I teased.”
“That’s a fine concession.” Caroline nodded to his empty plate. “More eggs?”
“Please.” He held up the plate. Ruth snatched it from his hand before Caroline could.
“I’ll get it,” she said.
A fresh plate of eggs and toast appeared in front of him quickly. “This is nice,” Sam said. “The food and the company. Beth Ann never ate with us.”
“She didn’t?” Caroline squinted in confusion.
“It was her choice.” Sam was quick to clarify. “She ate while she was cooking, put food on the table, then made herself scarce. Not sure why she did that or some of the other… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t speak uncharitably towards the woman. She wasn’t the best match for our household and that’s a simple fact. But she was still a good woman and the only one who applied for the job.”
“I wonder if gaining a housekeeper wasn’t a stronger motivator in you going back to Kansas than you let on,” Caroline observed.
Sam would have been perfectly fine to do his own washing and eat in the bunkhouse. Jack had been the one who insisted that even when Red was at his best, a woman could do better. Sam had almost convinced Jack a housekeeper was unnecessary but he let Caroline believe they would have hired another. She wanted to be needed. “Housekeeper sounds highfalutin,” Sam said. “I just got a family.”
Caroline sipped her coffee. “And maybe there’ll be more family to come.” The smile as she set down her cup said she was already hoping for a niece or nephew.
Already. She was hoping for babies already. Ruth apparently picked up on the insinuation as the hand holding her fork suddenly became unsteady. Sam searched through the panic in his head for something to grab. “I, uh…” He cleared his throat. “I was thinking I’d make time to ride to town tomorrow. Is there anything either of you would need?”
Both women shook their heads in response. Ruth said, “The place is well stocked. Plenty of apples for us to make fritters tonight if you like.”
“I’ll watch,” Caroline interjected before Sam could respond. “Next time I can make them though and I won’t take any ribbing about the results.” She gave Sam a playful glare.
“I suppose the promise of dessert might be a way to keep Jack at the table more than two minutes.”
Ruth laughed at the observation. Caroline immediately stood to clear the table.
~~ ~~
Life in Texas was shaping up to be almost everything Ruth had imagined. She and Caroline worked well together, with similar standards for cleanliness. They had managed two Sunday dinners with all the hired men. The meals went smoothly and the hands were appreciative of the food and the women serving it. Ruth and Sam got on well together, too. During the day at any rate.
He had already made a habit of trying to make it to the house before she rang the supper bell so that he could be standing outside waiting for it. The evenings felt like family time and she always smiled when it started with Sam waiting for her signal.
Jack seemed to grow accustomed to the new additions. He sat with the other three after supper. Sometimes Caroline would tell a story. She mostly stayed away from the people falling instantly and madly in love theme in mixed company and opted for dangerous storms or Jack and Sam chasing unsavory characters away from the property at gunpoint. Their imaginary charge had been dubbed Anna and her more dashing suitors came for her during the earlier parts of the day, when only Ruth could hear.
The part that wasn’t turning out as Ruth envisioned was that Sam was still sleeping on the floor. She’d led a fairly isolated life but she still knew enough of the world to know that a man generally looked forward to his wedding night. In fact, some looked forward to it so much that they wouldn’t wait for it. When Sam first claimed a patch of floor, relief and rejection warred in Ruth until confusion won. Was she really that unattractive?
He made it worse by being so nice. He was always asking if she needed anything and he tried to make her laugh. He did occasionally brush his hand over hers and he had left a few little gifts. She found a new ribbon for her hair in their room only a few days after they arrived and a bunch of flowers a few days after that. She saved the flowers.
If she weren’t already married, she’d swear she was being courted. But she was married, and he hadn’t even tried to kiss her since the wedding. She was convinced that he was offering other attentions to try to make up for not finding her physically appealing. She had almost said something one morning when they woke around the same time, almost asked why he couldn’t share the bed. It was too bold a question, even if they had made children part of the agreement. Sometimes she thought he wanted to say something and didn’t either.
There was something else unexplained. No one understood the rocks. Before Sam washed up for supper each day, he would pull a few rocks from his pocket and line them up along the edge of the porch. Jack was the first to ask about the rocks and that’s how Ruth knew he hadn’t always done that.
Sam simply shrugged off the question and in his joking way acted as though he didn’t understand why anyone would think it was a strange thing to do. Caroline brought up the rocks a few days later, wanting to know if she was supposed to sweep around them or not. She was clearly fishing for an explanation and Sam refused to take the bait. He stated that she could do what she wanted with them as they had already served their purpose.
Ruth was trying to keep her own curiosity in check. She knew she’d end up asking about the rocks sooner or later. She’d taken to looking out the window before she opened the door to ring the bell so she’d know if Sam was waiting. She saw him out there, only a few steps from the door. He was looking up at the heavy clouds in the sky and a few drops had begun to fall on him. Ruth was tempted to see how long he would stand in the rain but didn’t want the chicken to burn.
“Hey, Caroline,” she said. “Why don’t you ring the bell today?”
Caroline looked up from the oven, where she had been checking on a pumpkin pie. “Sam not waiting today?”
“He is.”
“What are you up to?” Caroline asked.
Ruth tried to shrug innocently as she worked to set the table. Caroline went out to call the men and Sam came in with his sister. He hung up his hat and quickly approached Ruth. His eyes twinkled as he said, “I saw you in the window. You were going to see how wet I’d get, weren’t you? It’s a good thing my sister has more pity.”
“Don’t put me in the middle of this,” Caroline said, holding up her hands with a smile.
Ruth put her hands on her hips. “If a man is fool enough not to come in out of the rain on his own. That’s not my fault.”
Sam grinned at the attitude and asked what smelled like cinnamon.
“Pumpkin pie for dessert.”
“Thank the Lord for whoever invented pumpkin pie,” Jack said. He’d entered just in time to catch Ruth’s answer.
“Wait ‘til we’re at the table to say grace.”
Jack pretended to be humbled by Caroline’s fake admonishment. Then he took his seat, as did Sam, while the women put the food out and quickly joined them. Jack gave a proper prayer. Loud thunder punctuated the end of it and heavy rain was falling before they got to taste that pie. When the kitchen was cleaned up, Ruth and Caroline found that Sam had gone out to the porch to watch the rain and Jack was sitting with a book.
“You’re not getting ahead of us, are you?” Caroline asked him. He’d read a few chapters aloud the previous night.
“No.” Jack closed the book but did not try to hide the guilty expression that came over his face. “Do you want me to read tonight?”
Caroline took a seat without a verbal response. Ruth excused herself though. “I’ll catch up later,” she said as she opened the front door.
Sam smiled at her as she came onto the porch. He was sitting in a wooden rocker and she took the one nearest to his, though there was still a good three feet between them. The air was warm despite the summer shower but the water added a refreshingly cool breeze. “Are you worried about lightning?”
“Not too much,” he said. “I wanted to cool off.”
Ruth nodded and stared hard at the rain. The drips off the edge of the roof were mesmerizing. After a few minutes though, she began to feel self-conscious about not having brought a book or anything with her. It looked as though she had only wanted to sit near her husband – and maybe she had – but was that a good idea? Something had been building between them the last few days and she was afraid it was an argument.
Sam was fidgeting as though the tension of whatever it was might be about to make him snap. Ruth looked around for something light she could talk about. Her eyes fell on the dozens of rocks along the porch. The rain had soaked them. Then she glanced at Sam and it was plain that he knew what she saw.
Ruth tried to think of something else to say. “Is… is it all right if I pack some of the extra chicken for you to take out tomorrow?”
He didn’t answer the question. He looked again at the rocks and then back at her. Finally he said, “You’re not going to ask?”
“I’d love to know,” she said, “but you wouldn’t tell anyone else.”
Sam folded his hands in his lap and looked at his knuckles. “You’re not anyone else.” His voice was quiet and he did not sound like a man looking for an argument.
Instead of calming her, the realization made her heart begin to pound. “Will you tell me then?” she asked timidly.
He reached over and picked up one of the rocks. He held it up to inspect and turned it over in his fingers a few times. “This right here is how much I don’t know what I’m doing,” he said.
The statement made no sense to Ruth and Sam shrugged as though it made as little sense to himself. She waited for him to continue.
“I know… I know you said you could be happy with a polite marriage. I shouldn’t have let you agree to that though. I was too focused on putting things right with Caroline to think through everything and I… when I realized what I’d done I thought I should at least try to win you proper. And I thought about how happy you looked talking about your ma leaving little surprises for you. And while I was thinking about that I saw… well, the sun was beaming down off one of these rocks so that it was all sparkly and it was kinda pretty so I picked it up and put it in my pocket. But as soon as I did that I knew I couldn’t bring you a rock because…” Sam stopped and smiled sheepishly. “It’s a rock.”
The way he said it made Ruth laugh.
Sam laughed, too, and said, “That’s why I didn’t tell Jack or Caroline. But I hoped if… well, I kept picking up rocks every time I couldn’t think of something better. I kind of like them and I hoped it would make a difference if you could see that I was trying. Even though trying doesn’t count for much.” He carelessly tossed the rock back onto the porch. It knocked one of the others off the edge.
The tension between them shifted. Sam had been trying to provoke the feelings she’d been trying to hide. The revelation apparently addled her brain because she wanted to tell him that she appreciated the effort because of how unnecessary it was. But the words that came out were, “You don’t have to try.”
“I don’t think you understand,” Sam said.
Ruth was pretty sure that Sam was the one who didn’t understand because she hadn’t said the right words. Before she could make any attempt to clarify, he stood and came to her side. He said, “This is what I want,” before he bent and kissed her. It wasn’t the obligatory kiss of the wedding. It was deeper and filled with longing. His hands ended up in her hair before he pulled himself away.
The only thought Ruth could manage was that perhaps she was the one who was confused because Sam seemed to think there was a problem and she could see nothing wrong with what had just happened. Of course that one thought was immediately followed by another. It was the hope that he would do it again.
Sam sat back in his chair. “What I don’t want is…” He took a deep breath and stared straight ahead at the rain. “You know I don’t like to talk about my pa but… When we were kids, it wasn’t unusual for him to not come home at night. I don’t know if he drank too much to remember his way home or so much that he forgot he had family to come home to.” His statement was matter-of-fact. His posture said he cared.
“I remember one time he was gone for several days. Ma had even said we might have to go into town to look for him. But he showed up later that morning. We were all outside helping with the wash. No one asked him where he’d been because we knew better. He scooped Ma into his arms barely a minute after he arrived though and told us kids to wait outside while he explained things to her. Just before they went inside, Ma looked at me and Caroline. All she said was, ‘Watch Lucy for me.’ It was her expression that I’ll never forget. Pure resignation. I was only a boy and I couldn’t figure out why she didn’t look happier that he had come home. As I got older, I understood what I wish I didn’t. She spent years tolerating his touch because they were married and she felt she had to.” Sam put his head down so he could run his hands through his own hair. Then he looked Ruth square in the eye. “I won’t have you… I don’t want you to tolerate me.”
Ruth nodded her understanding but then began to shake her head because she didn’t want to appear to understand the part about putting up with a husband she couldn’t stand. She gave up the movements and said, “I didn’t want to say anything because we agreed it wasn’t necessary. I didn’t want to complicate… I think… You should know that I might be well on my way to being in love with you.”
Sam blinked and looked as though he wasn’t sure he believed her. “Now how did I manage that?”
“Maybe God managed it.”
Sam held out his hand between them and she caught it with one of hers. He held on rather than his typical squeeze and release. “Ruth,” he said, “if I… are you saying that… you wouldn’t mind if I… You wouldn’t mind?”
“I don’t think I would mind.”
“And I could, uh…” He didn’t have to finish the thought because the way he leaned c
loser said that he was thinking about kissing her again.
She nodded, slowly, because as much as she wanted the arrangement to change, she was still nervous about it.
A sound of deliberate throat clearing came from nearby just before Zachariah’s boots thumped up the porch steps. “Sorry to interrupt, boss,” he said, “but we got a couple head stuck in the mud by the creek on the south end. Some of the boys aren’t back so we could use your help.”
Sam nodded. “Saddle Thicket for me. I’ll get Jack and be right out.”
Zachariah gave a nod to Ruth and then stomped back out into the rain.
Sam released an exaggerated sigh as he stood and dropped Ruth’s hand. “Cattle are my life,” he said, “and my livelihood. Would you happen to have any idea why I suddenly hate the critters?”
“Go on,” Ruth said. “I’ll have dry clothes laid out for you when you get back.”
“Thanks.” Sam gave her a quick kiss before he hollered for Jack. The two men followed Zachariah’s path to the barn. Ruth went into the house and Caroline had already picked up the book Jack was reading. She told Caroline she was going to turn in early. She went upstairs and got herself ready for bed. It was her place to keep the room tidy so she rolled up Sam’s blankets and put them back under the bed for him. She climbed under the quilt and this time she was listening for his footsteps on the stairs.
~~ The End ~~
A Second Yes
a novella
Charlotte Thorpe
Copyright 2015 Charlotte Thorpe
All rights reserved. Before Someday Publishing
Smashwords Edition
A Second Yes is a work of fiction. All names, characters, places, events, etc. are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.
A Quiet Life Page 17