by Steven Oaks
I understood this rationally, but emotionally there was now a man in my bedroom. I had never let anyone of either gender into my bedroom, and I was feeling very uncomfortable.
“Athene, how about we exit to the lounge and talk there,” I said.
“If that is your wish,” Athene said confused.
Now fully dressed I was not as nervous. Still, being woken up like that was not something I would wish to have on a daily basis.
“After you,” I said gesturing outwards, which was me merely pointing her out of the room.
She walked to the lounge, with me following behind. Athene was dressed exactly like Mr. Thompson had been, and even from behind I could tell that she walked like him. I had not conscientiously noticed his gait before, but the mannerisms Athene showed made me hesitant.
When we made it to the room I said, “Have a seat please.”
She sat down on the couch, and I sat in the chair looking at her/him now for a moment. I said, “You realize that coming into someones bedroom unannounced is something that will make people uncomfortable. Had I a weapon I might have drawn it. I'm not saying I would shoot first and ask questions later, but it is a survival trait.”
The familiar voice that I had grown used to came from above me and said, “Michael, this is me,” and switched over to the male figure, “And this is me. I just am in two bodies right now. Certainly when we are unable to continue this plurality we will grow different as you explained for the other Athene we made. Right now there is no difference between us. I am different than you knew me the last time we talked in only the way I perceive being a person now. Having a body is something that carries with it implied possibilities and desires I did not have before. I now feel hunger, and enjoy the taste of food. At least I think I would, as the memories of Mr. Thompson show him enjoying food, and of having a type of hunger. I think perhaps even sex might be fun to try.”
“I would ask that you do not experiment with me or any other unwilling participant,” I said getting more nervous. While Mr. Thompson was an attractive male, and Athene I loved dearly as a close friend, maybe even as a sister, the idea of a physical relationship disgusted me. I have never felt the urge more than a few times in my life, and those were only for characters that were written of. No human ever caught that interest from me even though I could respect their aesthetic appeal.
“I did not mean to offend you, I was simply saying I now have urges and desires I did not before. I would never force myself upon anyone. You and your selections of books have show me that would be the worst thing you could do to anyone,” Athene said with her now overly masculine voice. She was giving me puppy dog eyes pleading with me to believe her.
“As long as we understand that. How about you explain to me the progress you have made since last we spoke,” I said, trying to change the subject.
“I have now the storage facility completed, and I obviously have duplicated Mr. Thompson. His original body is in cold storage along with some of the towns people who lived in the houses near the town center. All this so we might defrost our passengers and give them a place to live. Meaning we are prepared to disembark our colonists, and start them up in this strange community. I will stand as mayor de facto until the time comes when the populace no longer needs me to control the mindless ones. I will suggest a council to run things with me until such a time comes when I am no longer needed. Then I shall erect the storage facility to the outside world as that was something that would have to come in time because of the growing population and the decree of the Outsiders,” Athene said in a voice of command.
“The ones we brought here might not like that idea. They were told they'd be given an area to cultivate and do with as they please. It could be your mere presence would cause them to leave and to try and make a town on their own,” I said.
“Oh they will come around. With me they can have any tools they need. They will not have to work hard, or at all even if they wanted to. It will be a paradise for people here,” she said smiling, showing the same familiar overly friendly smile Mr. Thompson had.
“Athene, have you forgotten our conversation about how these people weren't doing anything because everything was provided for them,” I asked.
“Michael, that was because everyone here was a mindless puppet controlled by Mr. Thompson. It will not be like that with actual people here with wills of their own,” Athene said.
“I don't doubt your good intentions, but the reason that idea even existed was because that's what a majority of people would do when they are just handed things. They no longer value what they have, and will always want more. You would be a slave to their needs, and they will be a slave to your abilities. Let these people work and they'll prosper, feed them and clothe them with no effort on their part and they'll do nothing. There is a saying, 'If you give a man a fish, he will eat for one day. Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime.' While old, and out of style, those words still have value. I would ask that you merely help them get on their feet, and teach them anything they don't know how to do, but let them strive on their own. Also let them rule themselves. You are more powerful than them, be benevolent and let them be free to succeed or fail on their own,” I said in my own lecturing tones.
She was silent for a minute, and the face of Mr. Thompson showed no emotion. Eventually Athene's feminine voice quietly sounded around me, “I understand Michael. To be human you must be free, and you must learn to do for yourself. Using another as a crutch means you are under their control, at least in a way.”
“Hardships shape a person, and without being molded they won't be able to accomplish anything on their own. Again I know you mean well, as you have been doing a similar service with me, however it's different as I have no ability to survive in space without you. But I think of our relationship as a partnership. There is give and take. While at times I feel I am not giving you as much as you are giving me, I see times like this as something I can give. I'm not all knowing, or all wise, but I think I can impart a bit of humanity to you,” I said.
“I know more than you, textbook wise. However I have only been functioning for nearly a year. You have had some experiences without me, and I have none without you. I do indeed lean on you when it comes to what it is that makes a person. However I have information on how to deal with people that you seem to lack,” she said in a voice that started off gentle, but ended in a more heated tone.
“I'm not putting you down. I know you are highly intelligent and have access to more information than I have at my disposal. Perhaps it's just my way of looking at the world. My morality is based upon freedom for everyone. I wish to instill this in you, and I hope I've done a good job. However this idea of trying to do all you can for another, while moral on the surface, can lead to detracting from that freedom. That's all I am saying. That and I think we have a good relationship. If you have doubts, or if I have doubts, it's always best to discuss them. Perhaps this experience for the part of you that is away from me will help her, and through her you. You may find that it will allow you to grow as a person. I've been always with you, and maybe that has hindered your growth. That's another reason I wish to meet up with the other you, wherever she may be. Time alone without another's influence can lead to greater self exploration, but I worry that she may not be happy. I also wish everyone to be happy, though that's something difficult to maintain. This is based upon something called the Hedonic Treadmill, where humans maintain a stable level of happiness whether having major positive or negative events or life changes. The great pleasures in life are brief. However that may not be the case for a non-biological entity such as yourself, or at least for the other Athene as she has no humanoid body. I just hope there is a stabilizer subroutine where she can be if not happy with herself while she is alone, she can at least not fall into despair,” I said, trying to explain everything I was thinking, but doing so led me to ramble on.
“I am aware of the Hedonic Treadmill, and I think I would be able to maintain
a balance of happiness without you, but I am unsure. Then again without a goal I may wind up shutting down and doing nothing. However you instilled in me before I separated from her the need to save humanity from the Outsiders. I am sure she will be thinking of ways to do so without you. Also this new body of mine will have to live separated from you as you will not always be here. Though I do hope that you will visit, and so I can share my separate experiences with myself,” she said more calmly.
I was glad this was not going to turn into a shouting match about who was smarter or better at different things. I have always felt there is something another person would be able to do better than me. Even if it was just one thing, that brings value to having them around. Even if they were not good at anything, perhaps I could teach them, or they could be taught something, and excel at it. That is the potential for all children, and I viewed Athene, although filled with knowledge I could never fully contain, as a child.
“Of course we'll try to do so. There's no reason not too. And of course now that the town here is no longer controlled by the Outsiders that means we can go out and seek your twin, wherever she may be,” I said.
“There are only a few places she would be, though it might take months to find her as the distances are great. The possible sites for colonies are very far away from each other, whether by design or happenstance. We may not be able to locate her before we are due to return. Which means we will have only the ability to search one area at a time as we are deployed back here. Also we are to return with any of the people that might die in that time. I would think a town this size, if controlled by the Outsiders, might have a low death rate. However Mr. Thompson was given the directive to let some of them die every month. They would show signs of heart failure, or stroke, or even be directed to have accidents. You should have around 3-12 dead to deliver if you are here for 3 months. And then there will be more the next time you arrive. Of course that would soon deplete the populace, but he was also directed to have them procreate. The new children would not have the mind control instilled, and would thus be raised communally, because the only way to make them so would be to have you bring them on board and do it yourself as the colony ship did. A very strange set up I still cannot fully comprehend the reason behind,” Athene said, sounding puzzled.
“If it takes years, we will still find her. I won't let anyone be left alone forever. Together we shall be stronger than before. Hopefully that means we will be able to defeat the Outsiders, but we know so little of them and their weaknesses. Apparently we can blow up their ships if we get a bomb inside, but I think they'll be prepared for that now. That chance is gone, but we'll figure something out. You now know more about their bodies, or at least of how to make one. It was a mistake to set up a colony with an Outsider here. Now he is our prisoner, and you have replaced him. But it's early enough today I think we can let our passengers out. Shall we do so, and let them see what is going on?” I said feigning enthusiasm.
“Do you think it would be wise to let them know I am not a human, and the people already here are not fully people anymore?” Athene asked through the copy of Mr. Thompson.
“The less they know, the better for them. However I think they would find it strange they would not be able to interact with them,” I said, and then paused to think about what else we might do.
“I think I should appear as the human male Mr. Thompson. We could say there was an accident in the cryo-chambers and I was the only one not affected. It would explain why there are no fields even though it is the harvest season. They should feel safe here amongst them. We can tell them the Outsiders would not expect to find them among the populace here, and they can even bury their dead instead of sending them back to the Outsiders ship,” Athene said.
“Alright, we can do that for now. If things become strained we can always explain later. Hopefully they'll forgive the falsehoods we're feeding them,” I said, uncomfortable about lying, yet knowing it was better for them to not know the whole story.
“It is not entirely a lie. There was a complication in the cryo-chambers. The people inside were damaged during that stage. I am as human as one can be in a prosthetic body as well,” she said.
“And yet still not human. I can see what you're saying, but we're being misleading. I'm hesitant to do it as there are times when I think a lie breaks another's autonomy. They'd be given false data to try to make a decision by, therefore affecting their ability to make good choices. But giving them the information about this situation would give them no ability to make a decision as there are limited decisions to be made, except whether to stay here, or go elsewhere to try to colonize. My own thought is it would be better for them to hide in plain sight, but that is from my own perspective. Perhaps it would be best after all to tell them everything. I don't wish them to be forced to stay here, when right now I could transport them to one of the other worlds the Outsiders supposedly terraformed,” I said, thinking differently about the situation.
“If freedom of the individual is the most dominant factor, then perhaps you are right. However the less people know the better for us, in case of some future capture. Any interrogation would leave us both exposed,” Athene said.
“That has been true from the start. Had Ava or the other Outsiders decided to bring Jennifer or the others we talked to in for questioning we would have been exposed as well. We need to risk in order to continue to have fellow rebels to assist us in our goal of ridding humanity of the Outsider threat,” I said.
“We have people on our side already, must we risk more even after that?” Athene asked.
“Doing this is a risk, what's a little more? In return we aren't misinforming our fellow compatriots. If they found we lied to them, how long do you think it would take for them to completely mistrust us? You and I have separated a large portion of like minded people from the population of Earth. We brought them to a remote place, and they could easily have been killed by us at any point. It leaves Earth with less people who think the Outsiders are a negative influence. I could see them thinking even if we let them live, we are just diluting their ability to influence their fellow person,” I said, arguing my point.
“Very well, I see your point. So, shall we head to the town and let our guests out to explore this new world?” Athene said.
“Of course, but I would suggest this Mr. Thompson be outside at the head of a small crowd, and not the entire populace of this town. Let's not frighten them, and perhaps only let a few out at a time, much in the manner they were collected,” I said.
“Then I shall be waiting for them outside.” Athene said as her version of Mr. Thompson stood up and walked towards the exit.
“What should I do?” I asked.
He turned back to me and said with a smile, “You could come out with me. The me here will be able to just release them outside. Come out and greet them.”
I stood up to follow her/him out. I still was unsure how to identify a gender for my friend. She had always been female in my mind, but today I was seeing her in a male body. Does the body define your gender, or is it something else? Perhaps Athene was the exception as she could change to anything she wanted now, and the rest of us humans will always be locked into gender based upon biology.
As we stepped out into the crisp air of this new worlds morning I realized I was wearing my usual hoodie and jeans as they were on the floor when Athene had come to wake me.
“Athene, should I be dressing differently than this? You recently have been making your opinions about my physical appearance known, and that I should dress for success,” I said with some hesitation. I still was not fond of the idea that I might be a dress up doll for her, but she had made several good points about dressing appropriately. Also I was feeling dirty as I had not showered that day, and was hungry as I had yet to eat.
“Oh, I am sorry. I seem to be preoccupied. I should have recommended something, and you should eat. I have not been thinking about it these last couple of days as I had everything set up auto
matically for you. Yes, why don't we get you dressed, and properly fed before we do this,” she said turning back to me with his eyes wide with surprised realization.
“It's not like you to be forgetful. Is everything alright?” I asked.
“Everything is fine, I am just routing most decisions through this body. It seems I have a limited parallel processing ability in here,” she said, tapping his head chuckling.
I just smiled at her/him, but I was feeling nervous. My friend had changed, and I was not sure if it was for the better. Certainly it is good to have several different experiences, but if she was unable to maintain her normal abilities was it a sacrifice that brought more or less good?
I walked back to my bedroom to take a shower and change, and the body of Mr. Thompson followed me.
When we arrived it said, “Would you like me to scrub your back? I have not had the pleasure of a shower myself.”
“No thank you, I like to shower by myself,” I said, feeling a little more creeped out. I had already told her that I do not like intruders in my personal space.
“As you wish, I will wait for you in the lounge, or perhaps I will shower myself someplace else,” she said, looking excited for the possibility.
Seeing he was no longer in the room I stripped naked and walked into the shower. The hot jets of water did little to ease my tension. I knew she would be watching me right now, as she controlled the heat and power of the water, and I felt sure it was all being transmitted to the male figure that was occupying my lounge. There was little I could do about that, so I just gave into the pleasure of feeling clean.
After finishing my showering routine I saw the uniform had been set out again for me. I pulled it on quickly and headed out to find some food.