It was some relief when he curled up next to her afterward, but it didn’t completely allay her worry about them. She was a little hurt, too, she admitted, but more because she felt as if she’d failed them when they needed her.
“It was very bad?” she asked tentatively after a few moments.
He stiffened, as she’d known he would but after a moment, he seemed to relax fractionally. “There was no real danger on this mission—unless we were caught—and we had been ordered to see to it that we got in and out without detection.”
Lielani digested that. The problem hadn’t been that they’d failed in any way, then, or lost men. She thought he would have said that and she hadn’t heard that there were any casualties. She always listened to the reports, fearful that the day would come when she lost one of them. “There were no near misses, then,” she said finally. “You are all far too skilled at what you do.”
The night at the place where they had followed Simone popped into Kael’s mind, but they hadn’t been nearly close enough to call it a near miss. A near miss would have been almost getting shot. Although, since it had been pounded into them that they were to use the utmost discretion, it certainly hadn’t been pleasant that they had almost been seen in a situation that would have compromised their mission. “No.” He hesitated. “I will have a son,” he said finally.
Lielani felt both a thrill of happiness and a twinge of sadness. “I rejoice for you, dearest heart! I did not doubt that you would find the breeder that you needed.”
He tensed fractionally. She didn’t think she would’ve noticed if she hadn’t been holding him, but she knew she’d found the source of his distress. “He is faring well?”
Kael swallowed a little convulsively. “I have not had the report since she was examined. I think so. Mayhap they will tell us before we leave at dawn.”
Distress filled her but no surprise. “They are sending you back to the fight straight away, then?”
“We had expected as much,” he said neutrally.
She didn’t think that accounted for the distress she’d felt in both men. There was no eagerness for battle in them as there had been when they were younger, but she did not recall a time when they had been particularly concerned either.
It was something about his son—she thought. He’d seemed thrilled to tell her the news. She’d heard it in his voice, pride, excitement—and something else. “What are these aliens like?” she asked after a moment.
He sat up abruptly and slid to the edge of the bed. “I should go. Camryn will want to see you before we leave.”
She allowed the question to drop. “Why did he not come with you and Ean?”
“He had to report to the prince.”
“Oh.”
Kael slipped his legs into his uniform but paused instead of standing to pull it on.
“We had thought to keep the breeder here in the palace until she delivers,” he said after a moment. “She is carrying our sons. Our physician is better than the state physician.”
Lielani hesitated. “You are right. When you are gone, I will see if I cannot persuade your father and the prince that it will be much better if she is here so that we can make certain that you have strong, healthy sons.”
Kael’s shoulders slumped. He didn’t look at her. “I would be more easy in mind,” he said finally.
Lielani stroked his back. “Then I will make a nuisance of myself until they bring her here.”
He glanced at her over his shoulder and finally twisted around to gather her into his arms, burrowing his face against her neck. “I love you, Lani,” he murmured.
She stroked his hair. “I know, dear heart. I love you, as well.”
“I will not wake you when I leave. It will be too early,” he murmured when he’d finally pulled away.
He would not need to. She would not sleep knowing they were going to the fight at dawn and she would be watching them go, as always, trying to convince herself that it would not be the last time.
When he’d gone, she got up and freshened the bed for Camryn and went into her bath to freshen herself. She found him in her sitting room, his head in his hands. She jolted to a halt when she saw him, her heart contracting in empathy. She’d never seen him in such a pose of defeat and it disturbed far more even than what she’d sensed in Ean and Kael.
He heard her. Lifting his head, he surged to his feet and moved to her, gathering her close and holding her tightly. “I have missed you, Lielani.”
She held him, stroking his back. “I have missed you also, my handsome prince.”
He lifted his head, offering her a crooked smile at the oft repeated phrase. “You look well,” he said when he’d scanned her face.
“Because I am better now that you are back and safe.”
He grimaced. “Not long this time.”
“I know,” she responded, pulling from his arms and taking his hand. “But we have a few hours.”
He released a pent up breath. “You are tired. You’ve already entertained Ean and Kael.”
She smiled at him lovingly. “I am never too tired for a delicious desert.”
He sat down on the edge of the bed to push off his boots when she’d settled on it but, to her surprise, he merely rolled toward her when he had, burrowing his face against her breasts, holding her. She stroked his hair, wondering if it was all he wanted of her—a bosom on which to rest his head.
Abruptly, an image of him as the child he’d once been rose in her mind, but she didn’t feel the discomfort she once had. Instead, she felt warmth flow through her that he still found comfort in her. It had seemed a little strange to her then. She remembered him—them—from when they were very small—remembered their wide-eyed curiously and their fear when they’d first come to the palace from the nursery. So many memories!
Then they’d ceased to come to play in her garden and seek her for comfort from their tears and when she’d seen them again they were awkward youths, hungry for a woman’s touch, and uncomfortable because of it.
And she’d felt a little awkward and uncomfortable herself, but she’d set it aside to give them what they needed and, in time, they’d grown together, grown comfortable as lovers and learned how to please each other.
In truth, most of her pleasure was derived entirely from pleasing them, from holding them to her and knowing she’d eased their minds of worry for a little while and their bodies from their manly needs. But that gave her far more lasting pleasure than the pleasures of the flesh.
He stirred after a little bit, moving from one breast to the other and pulling at her nipples with his mouth. Warmth inundated her. Her body responded easily to his practiced touch and she felt the pleasurable tension that had been absent when she’d attended Kael’s and Ean’s needs grow as his urgency seemed to increase.
Pulling away for a moment, he shrugged the upper section of his uniform off and dove at her again, finding every patch of flesh that was most sensitive with his mouth and teasing her until she began to feel as desperate as the desperation she sensed in him. He didn’t bother removing his uniform completely. Refusing to be distracted from his goal even for a moment, he shoved his uniform to his hips when he’d positioned himself between her thighs and drove into her in almost frantic haste.
She curled her legs around his buttocks, pulling him to her as he pumped frenziedly, matching his pace the best she could. He shuddered, jerked and began to withdraw.
She tightened her hold on him. “Don’t! Give me your seed,” she whispered.
“No one will ever know.”
He hesitated. She felt his need like a living thing. Tightening her legs around him, she clenched her inner muscles around his cock.
He groaned as if wounded, shuddered, and then began to drive into her feverishly, jerking and uttering choked breaths as his body expelled his seed. She felt own body convulse in bliss as she received it, squeezed her eyes tightly to savor it even as sorrow crept in to her that his seed would find no welcome, no lonely li
ttle egg waiting to receive it.
“I should not have done that,” he muttered against her neck when he’d caught his breath.
She stroked his back. “No one will ever know save me, dearest, and I will never tell.”
He dragged in a shaky breath. “And me.”
She caressed his back. “You will not feel guilty, Camryn. You know it cannot matter with me.”
He sighed. “I’d begun to think I would not see you this time around,” he murmured when he’d rolled off of her, abruptly discomfited that he’d used her to assuage his pain when he hadn’t truly wanted her, that he’d allowed Simone to fill his mind because he desired her to the point of madness and could not have her. It was unfair to Lielani and yet he had no idea whether Lielani truly welcomed him rutting her or not, he realized in surprise, no idea whether she desired him or not. She had never had any more choices than he had. He loved her. He couldn’t remember a time when he hadn’t, but he’d never desired her … only the release she gave him so generously, the feel of her soft, womanly body. He hadn’t realized it until he’d felt true desire for one woman, not just any woman.
Lielani rolled to her side to snuggle closer, her mind immediately connecting the comment with her conversation with Kael. “You did not argue with your father?”
He grunted. “You of all people should know there is no arguing with the man,” he said wryly.
“I never argue with him,” she said teasingly.
“Because there is no more point in it than beating your head against a wall,” he growled, anger rising with surprising speed in his voice. He sucked in a deep breath. “I am sorry. I do not want to distress you.”
Lielani hesitated. “I am not distressed at so small a display of temper. It upsets me that you are troubled—especially on the eve of your leave taking.”
Camryn struggled to dismiss it. In truth, he had no reason to be angry—It wasn’t reasonable to be angry when things had transpired exactly as one expected them to. He had known that they would come for Simone with all the others because there was no way to request that they be allowed to keep her in their care before they had landed.
And yet it had because he’d convinced himself that he could somehow prevent it.
It wasn’t reasonable to be so furious with his father when he had reacted to the request exactly as he had known he would. He’d looked surprised, vaguely offended, suspicious, and then he had dismissed it and her as if it was nothing of any consequence, as if she was of no importance, and said that he would consider it.
He released an irritated breath. “I had hoped I would have more time,” he muttered finally.
Time for what? To see to it that his breeder was sheltered in the palace? This was curious, and very disturbing. It seemed to go far beyond anxiety over his son and that could only mean that his anxiety was because of the breeder herself.
She tried to distract his mind with another bout of lovemaking, but he rolled away from her.
“I’ve yet to get my affairs in order and my gear,” he said, refusing to look at her as he straightened his uniform. He pulled her into his arms and rocked her slightly when he’d sat down to pull his boots on again. “I will see you when I have leave to return.”
She stopped him when he reached the door of her bedchamber. “I will try to persuade your father.”
He threw a surprised look at her over his shoulder. She could see the question in his eyes, but he merely nodded and left.
Settling back, she stared at the ceiling for a long while, thinking, and finally got up and freshened the bed and went to bathe again. When she’d finished drying, she merely pulled her robe on and passed through her bedchamber and sitting room and let herself out onto the balcony.
Her thoughts weren’t particularly pleasant ones. Unaccustomed anger churned inside of her. She examined it with almost detached curiosity and finally realized exactly why she was angry and what she needed to do.
When she heard the stir that told her they were leaving, she rose and moved to the edge of the balcony. In the first faint flow of dawn, she watched them striding confidently off to battle as she had so many times before. There were only three now.
Not so long ago there had been four—before Kael’s brother, Arion, had fallen and returned no more. When she could no longer see them, she went back into her bedroom to weep and to pray to the gods that she would see them return, whole, and healthy.
Chapter Nine
Simone moped until she was tired of moping and anger and resentment began to supplant the deep depression that had descended over her. Getting up, she went to wash her face. Upon consideration, she discarded the sack dress and climbed into the shower.
The hot water was a welcome surprise. She’d more than half suspected they wouldn’t think it necessary to provide that much comfort.
When it had eased some of her tension, she climbed out, looked for something to dry off with, and discovered a stack of small towels. She wasn’t certain of what the material was—much the same as the sack and the bedclothes—but it was surprisingly absorbent. She eyed the gown on the floor with distaste when she was dry and decided to look to see if she’d also been provided with a change of clothing. It wasn’t a long search.
She could almost touch every fucking wall in her ‘apartment’.
There was a stack of sack-gowns, identical in every way to the one she’d been wearing, on a shelf beneath the bunk. The urge to scream in frustration hit her and she uttered every curse word she’d ever heard—twice, with vehemence. Heaving a calming breath when she’d run out of steam, she jerked the gown over her head and plopped on the bed again.
The light that filtered through the tiny window above her bed waned and, as it did, the room began to glow with artificial illumination. It caught her attention and she lifted her head to search for the source just as she heard an odd tone. Cocking her head, she listened for it again, wondering if it was the elevator. Of course it wasn’t the tinny ‘ding’ she was used to, but then she wasn’t going to find anything she was used to here.
When she didn’t hear it again, she finally climbed from the bed and moved to the door. She hesitated, but she hadn’t noticed a lock and, in any case, she remembered that Akule had told them they were free to move about as much as they liked.
Considering the entire city was beneath a dome, now she knew why!
She discovered when she’d opened the door to look out that women up and down the corridor had also opened their doors curiously.
“Any idea what that was?” Liz asked her.
Simone shrugged. “No one said anything to me but stand, walk, stop, stick it out!” she said dryly.
“It must mean something,” said a woman down the corridor. “It wasn’t music.”
“It’s dusk,” Simone said after a moment. “Maybe its feeding time for the monkeys?”
“Cows,” Liz corrected her. “I’m hungry. Let’s go see.”
When they reached the first floor, they discovered the desks and equipment had been cleared away. Furniture had been brought in. A few padded chairs and a couple of couches had been lined up along the wall with almost military precision. Most of the room, however, had been taken up with dining chairs and tables. Along one wall, food was served buffet style.
Liz approached the buffet. When she reached it, the man waiting to serve grabbed a plate, slapped a glob of food on it and passed it down to the next man.
Clearly, they weren’t exactly thrilled that they’d been assigned to feed the cows.
Tamping the mixture of hurt and anger that aroused in her, Simone followed Liz to the end and took the plate held out to her. “Thank you,” she murmured automatically.
The man sent her a startled look and she felt her face heat. Turning away, she followed Liz to find a table.
She wasn’t certain why Liz decided to look around—all the damned tables and chairs looked uncomfortable—but she finally settled in a chair against the far wall from the buffet.
&nbs
p; “So … how’s your apartment?” Liz asked glumly, studying the globs of food on her plate and sniffing at it suspiciously.
“Beautiful!” Simone said sarcastically. “And I have such a gorgeous view … of the alley.”
“Sounds like my view. At least it doesn’t have bars over it.”
“Pollyanna!” Simone griped.
Liz snorted. “Nobody’s ever accused me of being an optimist before.”
“I wonder what this looked like before it was cooked?”
“I don’t want to know. Don’t talk about it, damn it! I’m hungry.”
Simone took an experimental taste of each item and sighed. “This is the best diet ever!”
“The green stuff isn’t too bad. It didn’t trigger my gag reflex anyway.”
“Jeez! You really are an optimist!” Simone said, laughing.
Liz grinned at her.
“Can I sit here?” a woman asked. “If you can think of anything funny, I want to hear it!”
Within a few moments their table had filled and most of the other tables. It was so crowded once everyone had sat down that it was hard to get between the tables. “Do you get the feeling that they hadn’t expected so many of us?”
“Yeah, I got that feeling as soon as we were packed into that cell on the ship like sardines. I just figured they were being assholes, though.”
“Now that we’re here and there’s nobody to hear, I don’t suppose anybody has managed to formulate any plans?”
Simone glanced significantly at the servers. It startled her to meet the gaze of one of them—the one she’d thanked. She looked away with an effort. “I don’t think they’d bother to monitor us here like they did on the ship,” she said in a low voice, “but I’d still rather not take a chance on it.”
“Besides, we haven’t been here five minutes,” Liz pointed out.
“Are you sure?” someone down the table asked. “It seems like days already.”
“Well brace yourself. Short of hopping a ship back toward Earth, I think we’ll be here a while.”
Alien Penetration Page 13