by Quinn, Paula
He withdrew. His legs felt unsteady. His head felt as if he’d just finished his fifth ale.
He groaned her name.
Her face grew red. Her eyes widened with…what was it? Horror? No!
“Forgive me!” she cried and turned and ran to her horse.
He opened his mouth to stop her, but the children were still playing and weaving leaves. They hadn’t seen their kiss. He almost breathed with relief. He didn’t want to draw their attention by calling out—demanding that she return to him. Aye, he would demand it, and she would surely ignore it. He would do anything to keep her near, but the things he wanted could be dangerous to her—possibly cost her her life.
The steward had his own army. Would he send them after Galeren and Silene if they left? Galeren couldn’t fight them all and he didn’t want to. Most of them were his friends.
He clenched his jaw to keep quiet as she mounted her horse.
“Come children. ’Tis time to go,” he called out.
He thought he might seek out Father Nate to confess but God knew he wasn’t sorry he’d kissed her.
He lowered his gaze and felt the weight of what he’d done. What he wanted to do again.
“Does somethin’ trouble ye, Captain?” Alex asked, coming near him. He should have known Alex would notice something.
“I’m just sorry to see the day end,” Galeren told him as Silene gained her saddle.
“We must remember it,” she said as he lifted Margaret to her. “Keep it locked away in a box of treasured memories.”
“I would have more of them,” he disagreed, shaking his head and staring up into her eyes. “Not just a memory of one.”
She said nothing but rode away with Margaret.
“Ye like her,” Alex said when he, along with Daffodil, rode out of the glade.
“Aye,” Galeren admitted what was obvious instead of lying and losing the boy’s trust. “Dinna ye?”
“Aye. She is fun,” the lad said, turning his smile on Galeren.
“Oh?” The captain arched his brow and quirked his mouth. “Am I not fun?”
Alex squealed with laughter when Galeren lifted him out of the saddle and held him suspended over the ground.
Part of Galeren never wanted to leave Dundonald and John’s service. The steward would most likely be king. Mayhap Alex would take the throne or John’s brother, Robert.
None of the children’s teachers could teach them the things Galeren could.
If Scotland had a king who considered the good of the people and who could fight if he had to and respect the Highland way of life—well then, Galeren’s kin would do well.
Aye, soon, he would be going home to Invergarry, but not too soon.
Morgann met up with him and Silene on their way back with the children.
“Captain, the steward dispatched me to find ye.”
“Did he say what ’tis aboot?” Galeren asked him.
Morgann shook his head. “But he was with Lord Birchet when he sent me.”
Galeren grew angry. He was also worried. This had to do with Cecilia. His belly tied into a knot. He glanced at Silene and said nothing the rest of the way.
When they reached the castle, he asked Morgann to escort Silene and the children back to Lady Matilda.
Silene said nothing and followed Morgann.
What had Cecilia told her father? Good! He was glad her father was here. Now, he could tell them his decision. He would not marry Cecilia.
He climbed the stairs to the solar where Louise told him to find the steward. He would deny anything concerning Silene.
He knocked. The steward called from the other side to enter. He did so and saw Lord Birchet and Father Alphonsus. The three men sat in high backed, upholstered chairs, two of six created for the steward’s pleasure.
“Ah, Captain, have a drink and take a seat.” John offered him a warm smile.
Galeren forsook the drink and pulled another chair opposite theirs. There, he waited for them to begin.
“Captain,” the steward said, “I think ’tis time fer ye to wed Miss Birchet. Do ye not agree?”
“No, my lord, I dinna agree.” He breathed while the men around him gasped and glared at him.
“Then what my daughter says is true,” Lord Birchet’s dark eyes narrowed on him.
Galeren drew his brows together. “What did she tell ye?”
“Captain MacPherson,” Birchet began. “What were you doing with the nun, alone with the steward’s children?”
“Sister Silene happened upon us.” He hated having to explain, and even more that his old friend, John Stewart, was a part of it.
Lord Birchet opened his mouth but Galeren continued silencing him. “Yer daughter isna someone I would choose as my wife.”
“Miss Birchet is renowned for her beauty,” John said as if Galeren didn’t know.
“Beauty fades,” he replied. “And then what is one left with? A monster.”
John’s stare went dark. “We agreed on this, Captain. Why are ye changin’ yer mind now? Tell me if it has to do with—”
“Ye know I dinna love Miss Birchet, my lord. We have had this conversation a hundred times.”
“Why do you not love her?” her father joined in angrily. “Is there someone else preventing it?”
“No, my lord.” Galeren told him, angry for the insinuation. They suspected something. They had no proof. All Cecilia saw was him and Silene laughing.
“I canna love a woman whose interest in herself alone comes before all else.”
“Captain MacPherson,” her father gaped. “You dare insult my daughter?”
Galeren regarded him soberly. “Aye, I dare. Yer daughter is spoiled, ruined fer many men. Me bein’ one of them.”
“What aboot my niece?” the steward asked him. “Is she ruined as well?”
What was this betrayal? Galeren stared at him. Was John willing to disregard their nine-year friendship, the years Galeren had given in Scotland’s service?
“What aboot her?” Galeren asked. “She is to be married to God, and even if she werena, she doesna suit me,” he thought it best to say at present. “I will say this fer the last time, my lord. The novice was under my care. We became friends. We will always be friends. But to imagine what is inside yer heads would surely insult her betrothed—and me.”
Galeren paused for a moment. “Further, the steward will attest that I have taken a vow of chastity fer six years and have kept it. That is why he sent me to retrieve his niece. He knew she would be safe with me. And she was. Now, put an end to yer suspicions aboot her.”
The three men balked at him then looked away. “Nevertheless,” Father Alphonsus said, breaking the silence. “You will wed Cecilia Birchet.”
“Why does this concern ye, Priest?” He didn’t care about the answer. He wasn’t marrying Cecilia. “Why is it so important to ye all that I wed her?”
“I will be king one day,” John said. “Lord Birchet will have an important place at court. He is a longtime friend.”
Not good enough. Galeren shook his head.
“Captain, ye will obey me,” John’s familiar voice raked unfamiliar words across his ear. “Ye are loyal to me and no one else. The day that ye are no longer loyal to me is the day I throw ye oot of Dundonald.”
If this was how it was to be, so be it. Galeren’s dark glare made the other two men back away.
“I have served ye loyally fer many years, John. Would ye dishonor me?”
“Aye. I would.”
Galeren’s blood boiled. “Verra well, I will leave today.”
“I told you, John,” Father Alphonsus said. “’Tis because of your niece.”
Galeren stopped on his way out. “Father, why would ye spread an untruth that could harm her?”
“Captain,” the steward said. “If ye leave, I will assume ’tis because of Sister Silene. I will keep her here fer questionin’ and if I discover there is somethin’ deeper than friendship between ye, Father Alphonsus will see
to her punishment.”
Galeren’s murderous gaze flicked to the priest. So, John would have Father Alphonsus punish her. He wanted to laugh at the priest. Galeren wouldn’t let anyone hurt her.
“John,” he said, using the steward’s familiar name and slipping his gaze to him. “If ye wanted me to stay so badly, ye just had to ask.”
“Ye do what ye want,” the steward pointed out. “After all these years I know what moves ye. Ye try to be what ye think would make yer father happy.”
Galeren shrugged his shoulder, letting the words fall away. “If I share the values of my father, that is a good thing.”
He turned to Lord Birchet. “D’ye truly not care if I will make yer daughter unhappy?”
“Some marriages are unhappy ones, Captain,” her father advised. “Cecilia can seek happiness outside of your marriage.”
Aye, Galeren thought. She was already on the prowl, kissing men while he was away.
He couldn’t do it. John would not have his own niece harmed.
“I canna do it, John. Farewell.”
“Bring Sister Silene to me,” the steward said to someone in the shadows.
Galeren remembered his grandsire’s warning again and stopped. “All right,” he ground out. “I will do as ye say. But not fer another month. That is when my vow is over.” It wasn’t the truth, but the church would never force him into marriage while he was taking a vow of chastity.
The steward threw up his hands. The priest glared at him, as did Lord Birchet.
Galeren walked away and left the solar. Let them think what they wanted. He wasn’t marrying Cecilia and Silene wasn’t going to be harmed by anyone.
He would make certain of it.
Even if it cost him everything.
Chapter Thirteen
Silene knew she was being punished. Why else would God be keeping the captain from her? No. She asked for this, didn’t she? She prayed not to see him, not to be tempted by him. Wasn’t God just answering her prayers? Three days! Three days and she had not seen him. What happened at that meeting with her uncle and Lord Birchet? Did he leave Dundonald so he would not have to wed Cecilia?
Was it for the best if he had?
She saw Father Nate on her way to the church and smiled that he was going the other way, glad that he wouldn’t be at the church with her. She wanted to be alone.
“Good morn, Sister,” he said, looking her over.
She bid him good day and continued on her way.
“Have you been studying the rules upon meeting the men of the church?”
“Aye. I practice every day, Father.”
He smiled. “Do not falter before them.”
What did he mean? Why did it make her belly tighten? Why was he helping her?
“I will try not to. Thank you, Father.”
She turned to go once again. This time, his fingers closed around her wrist, stopping her.
“I have been praying for guidance about what we spoke about in confession,” he whispered. “I think the Lord has led me to a different conclusion.”
Silene’s eyes opened wide and grew bluer. Of course, he was going to continue to chastise her. “Father—”
“Silene, you are not yet a nun. You are allowed two years to decide because people change their minds. ’Tis all right to change your mind. If the Lord sent the captain—”
Her heart accelerated. “Why do you mention him? I never said—”
“’Tis obvious if one just looks. He corrected one of his men who called you a nun as if he never wanted to hear those three letters together again.”
Silene recalled him doing the same with the men when they traveled here. “That means nothing.” He said their feelings were obvious to anyone who looked. What if someone from the church found out? But one of them already knew. Father Nathanial was part of the church. Was it obvious to Father Alphonsus, too? What would she say before them if they asked?
“You mistake friendly fondness for something it is not. The captain and I are friends. Good friends. Like he and Lady Matilda are. Do you understand now?” she asked softly with a gentle smile.
He nodded and backed away. “Fergive me.” He buried his hands in the folds of his sleeves and left her alone. The instant he turned to go, her smile vanished, and tears burned her eyes. She hurried through the inner gate and reached the church. She opened the heavy, creaking door and looked over her shoulder to make certain no one was behind her. Her veil nearly came free and flew away when a mighty wind blew in from the north.
The north—where the captain’s kin lived.
She stepped inside and looked toward the altar. Father Alphonsus wasn’t there. She was happy to find the church empty.
She slipped into one of the benches and closed her eyes to speak to the Lord.
What should I do? Is what Father Nathanial says true? Would You forgive me for not going through with my vows?
She heard the church door opening and letting the wind inside. She turned to see Galeren stepping through the outer hall. Their eyes met in the light of dozens of candles. His golden hair fell around his face, his shoulders. She smiled and his expressive eyes glistened like emeralds in a summer pond.
She watched him as long as she could until he sat behind her and to the left. Where had he been these last three days? Had he been alone? Was he here to pray?
Now that he was here, she couldn’t concentrate. She opened her eyes and stood up. Why could they not sit together? What rules were they breaking?
With that question burning in her head, she slipped in beside him on the bench. His masculine scent of woodsmoke and pine wafted through her, over her, engulfing her.
“Am I interrupting?” she asked him in a hushed voice.
He flashed his dimple and shook his head. “I wanted to speak to Father Nate but speakin’ with ye is better.”
She felt her face go flush. “I just saw the father. He was heading for the castle. He stopped me, wanting to speak. At first, I was not interested, but then things changed.”
“What d’ye mean, lass?”
She told him what the priest had said. He appeared to be having the same reaction she’d had.
“What d’ye feel aboot it?” he whispered. His deep, honey voice covered her.
“I…I prayed for guidance.”
She could feel the need in him. The need to come closer, cover her, kiss her until…
“You never told me how your meeting went with my uncle and Lord Birchet…and where have you been?”
“Just tryin’ to stay away. They want me to marry Cecilia. If I dinna do it, John has threatened to punish ye.
Her face drained of blood. She felt lightheaded. She prayed to not to pass out. “You have to marry Cecilia?” She didn’t want to ask, to hear him confirm it. But she had to. When he nodded, she shook her head. “Do not do it, Captain. Do not worry about me. Let him do his best. I will survive him. But do not marry that woman and be unhappy always.”
“No! I willna have ye suffer.” His whisper rose and echoed in the empty sanctuary. His gaze darted around, and he lowered his voice. “That is why we must leave. I already sent a missive to my home in Invergarry tellin’ my kin to expect me. I want ye to come as well.”
Silene opened her mouth to speak. What should she say?
“Silene, come home with me to Invergarry.”
She swallowed and it felt as if her heart were going back down—or trying to. Invergarry. In the Highlands.
She had to go else they would harm her to get to him. It meant they knew he cared for her! He cared for her. She wanted to rejoice but she couldn’t.
God couldn’t want this since there was danger involved.
“Why do they want you to marry her so desperately?”
“They both believe John will be king. Birchet wants a connection now. But now I believe ’tis just to keep me from ye. I agreed to wed her months ago, but John knew I didna want to take her fer my wife.”
“Is there any part of you that l
oves her?”
He shook his head. “No. There is no part.”
No. He couldn’t marry Cecilia. Who should he marry then?
Perhaps this was…what God wanted. Perhaps now that the captain was free, he would ask her… would she?
She closed her eyes and prayed some more. After a few moments, she opened her eyes again. “When would we leave?”
“I have a month before I am expected to wed Cecilia, but…” he paused and clenched his jaw, making the muscles dance. “Ye spoke true that this is all aboot ye goin’ before the church and securin’ John’s place on the council. That is all he wants. But unless God takes me from this earth—”
She covered his mouth with her hand. “Nay! Do not say such a thing!”
He removed her hand from his mouth and kissed her palm. “Nothin’ will keep me from ye.”
Help! What should I do?
“Go before the church, Silene. ’Tis what yer uncle wants. Tell them what they wish to hear aboot yer uncle. Ye and I will leave quietly after that. I will tell them I am returnin’ ye to the priory. Ye and I can—”
“Galeren,” she said, stopping him. “I feel as if I am in some kind of trance. I do not know if I can trust my thoughts, for they are always about you. I need time to think clearly—to pray without you being there, as well.”
He let go of her hand. His absence was painful, agonizing when he nodded and rose from the bench, and left the sanctuary.
He was giving her what she wanted. Time. Why did it feel so terrible?
Was her oldest prayer being answered? A prayer for a kind, handsome husband, to be in love and to be the mother of his children. Warmth filled her as she remembered.
She wasn’t giving up God by letting Galeren MacPherson into her heart. There was room enough for them both. But could she stand before the church leaders and pretend she wasn’t thinking about stepping away from her vows?
She left the church and looked around. She didn’t see the captain or any sign of the children as she headed back.
On her way, a woman with a long, yellow braid hanging over her shoulder came out of surrounding trees. She wore a drab kirtle of tattered tan and brown skirts. Her cloak was moth eaten and tattered.