Forbidden Heart

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Forbidden Heart Page 22

by Quinn, Paula


  She lifted a dark red brow at them. Hmm. “May I ask you something?”

  “Of course.” They nodded.

  “I have been feeling…ehm.” She shifted in the tunic she’d changed into after her bag was returned to her thanks to these two. She tried again. “I have been…feeling…” she blew out a deep breath. She just couldn’t do it. She couldn’t ask them about such private things.

  “Have ye seen Elysande?”

  Padrig blinked. “What aboot what ye are feelin’, lass?”

  “Oh, never mind that.” She laughed nervously and waved her hand.

  Will pointed to the main exit directly ahead. She thanked them and hurried toward the exit to seek out Elysande.

  She found her in the huge garden behind the houses, busy picking apples and some small pumpkins.

  “Should you be doing all that bending?” Silene asked her and bent to help.

  Elysande smiled. “I dinna hurt the babe by doin’ a wee bit of work. I keep myself strong.”

  They talked about Elysande’s husband and how he’d taken the news that he was going to be a father again. “He is quite proud of himself.”

  “For what?” Silene asked.

  “Fer what, indeed.” Elysande laughed. “My swollen belly is a sign of his virility.”

  Aye. She was the one to ask. “Ehm, Elysande? May I ask you a question?”

  “Aye,” Elysande allowed and bent to another two fallen apples.

  “Lately, being…being around Galeren is sparking…feelings in me which I do not understand.”

  “Oh?” Elysande straightened and smiled at her. “What are ye feelin’? Can ye describe it?”

  Silene could feel her face burning. “I was never taught…I am feeling like my senses are heightened. I…I see things with more clarity. I feel like I can hear better and I find myself listening for his voice. The sound of him—the sight of him makes my heart quicken. When he kisses me, I want more, but I do not know what it is I want.”

  Elysande invited her to her home, a large manor house connected by the walkway to the first house.

  “What ye are feelin’ is natural attraction and love fer him.”

  “What should I do about it?”

  Elysande gave her a furtive smile that made her look even more beautiful. “Marry him. And do it soon.”

  “He betrayed me,” John the Steward said while he thrust his arms into his coat. “I want his head and I want to be the one who takes it.” He’d given his men two days to find Galeren and Sister Silene. When they found nothing, John knew he had to do it himself.

  If John’s captain was smart, and John knew he was, he’d be on his way to Invergarry by now to hide out in his family’s stronghold. John was going to have to find a way to get into the fortress. Fortunately, he had Morgann Bell at Galeren’s side and another means of information he hoped could be trusted. He would soon find out.

  “What about the girl?” Alphonsus asked, already in his extra robes for the cool day.

  John slanted his smile at the man. He didn’t have to say, for his lust showed in his eyes. “She ruined my chance to sit on the council, because she wants a man inside her. I’m goin’ to show her what an error her decision was.”

  “They say the MacPherson stronghold is impenetrable,” the priest said. “How are we going to get in if they are inside?”

  “I have some surprises under my belt. A hellcat, fer whom the captain isna prepared. She guarantees she can capture him fer me. We just have to get her to Invergarry.”

  “And her name?” the priest asked.

  “Ah, that is my concern. Ye will find oot soon enough. I trust no one.”

  “Not even me?” Alphonsus asked him, looking insulted.

  “Especially not ye,” John told him, not giving a damn what the priest thought of him.

  Chapter Twenty

  She would be Galeren’s wife in two days. Time could not pass quickly enough, though Galeren’s kin kept Silene busy between her prayers, which Father Timothy told her could be shortened, now that she was no longer to be a nun, to however many times a day she wanted to say them. She found herself saying the ritualistic, structured prayers less and just speaking to God the way she would Father Timothy, more. She was happier at the stronghold than she could ever remember being.

  With so many relatives, she didn’t see Galeren as much as she would have liked.

  She wooed him by baking hot apple and pumpkin pies. She darned all of the clothes his cousins, Adela and Geva, found for her in his room that needed repair. She hadn’t minded sewing up holes in his hose, fixing tattered hems on his léines or coats. It really was nothing, but he smiled when he saw everything piled neatly on his bed and listened while she and Elysande told him how much she had done.

  “Ye have my sincerest thanks, my love,” he had said and then asked Elysande to leave. Of course, his cousin refused his request.

  Pity. Silene wanted time alone with him. She sighed now thinking about it. They sat in the dining hall for the last meal of the day. She stared at him while he ate and laughed with his family and his friends.

  She was thankful to be dining with the men. Thankful her feeling that she would never dine with them again had been wrong. Were they all wrong? Did she rely too much on them? What did it matter? She was here, in his stronghold, protected as he’d promised.

  “How is Daffodil?” she asked when his gaze slipped to hers as if he could feel her watching. His smile deepened.

  “Loud.” He laughed softly. “At night. Until I put her with me in my bed.”

  Silene wished he was putting her into his bed. She didn’t blame the cat.

  “I couldna bring her,” he continued, “so she could walk my kin’s supper table and try to eat from everyone’s plates.”

  Silene nodded and laughed, “Although I do not believe your mother would mind.” She sobered a moment later. “I miss the children.”

  “Aye, as do I,” he agreed, quieting.

  “Galeren,” she said, taking on a somber tone, “I am happy you brought me here, but if not for me, you would not be here. You would be at Dundonald with my uncle’s children, teaching them to be good, honorable adults.”

  “They are not mine, lass, though I wish they were.”

  “I will give you children,” she promised.

  “Aye.” His smile returned. “As many of our own that we can stand makin’.”

  She felt her face go flush. She smiled and looked away. Many children—here with him. Her heart flipped at the thought.

  “Captain,” she said softly. “Perhaps after supper you would not mind taking a walk with me.”

  His smile warmed her heart and other hidden parts of her. His gaze softened and glimmered with affection. “I wouldna mind.”

  She nodded. She’d been embarrassed at first to seek out time with him, but she saw Braya smile at her from her seat beyond Lionell. The women here were strong and bold and feminine. They admired strength in each other. They would not think her odd for being bold.

  Galeren had tried to see her a number of times, but their meetings never lasted overly long before someone found them and pulled her away.

  He’d been patient, understanding that his “kin” wanted to get to know her. But she could see the longing in his gaze for her. Tonight, she wanted to give him that time back. If he wanted to kiss her, she would allow it. She might even kiss him first. She smiled thinking of it.

  His dimple deepened across the table.

  “Can ye both stop tryin’ to make me ill?” Lionell drawled and swept his mane of hair off his face. Having only one hand made it impossible for him to tie it back or braid it. So, he left it hanging around his face.

  “Are ye sure ’tis not the way ye fought today that sickens ye, little lion?”

  “I told ye I was no good at it,” Lionell argued.

  “No one is good when they first begin a thing,” Galeren said, showing who was the wiser brother. “That is what practice is fer.”

&nb
sp; When they all retired to the solar for a drink, Galeren took her hand and led her outside.

  The weather was surprisingly warm but Galeren still put his arm around her while they walked.

  “I have missed ye, my love,” he told her. “I dinna know why I thought ’twould be less hectic here.”

  She smiled against his chest. “’Twill settle down soon. Your kin are happy for you. You have been chaste since you were ten and eight. Your mother thought you might be fulfilling your calling to be a priest.”

  “A priest!” He laughed. “No. My callin’ was to be a soldier. I wanted to be the best and havin’ a lass in my life and couplin’ on my mind would have likely gotten me killed. I know by lovin’ ye that if I ever go into battle again, I will fear dyin’ and leavin’ ye.”

  “I do not want you to fight anymore battles, Galeren!” she cried out. “Please!”

  He didn’t answer. He was still a captain in King David’s army. He couldn’t just walk away from his duty.

  “Galeren, will you always be a captain?”

  “No, love, but I am still young. No doubt there will be more battles ahead fer our weary countrymen.”

  “They will need you,” she guessed out loud.

  “Aye, they might.”

  “I will pray that they never need you again.”

  She heard his heart accelerate, and his breath shorten. He kissed the top of her head.

  She stopped walking and saw that they were in the stronghold’s gardens. They were alone.

  She felt his fingers under her chin to tip her face to his.

  “I canna wait to be yer husband,” he ground out huskily over her lips.

  “I cannot wait to be your wife.” She pulled him in and parted her lips to welcome him.

  She trembled against him as his arms came around her and encircled her in his strength.

  His lips molded to hers with heat. His tongue plunged softly inside and moved over hers in a dance as ancient as time.

  She never wanted to leave his arms again. His kiss sparked this flame inside her that burned all day and night.

  “Has anyone seen Morgann?” she asked, knowing this would make them forget their desires.

  “No. He may have gone through the woods.”

  “Oh, Galeren,” she brought her hands to his chest. “He knew they were dangerous, did he not? Do you think he would be so foolish? I hope not.”

  “He knew I could be deadly and that didna stop him from betrayin’ us.”

  “But did he?” she put to him. “You and Mac have told me everything he said. He never told my uncle anything you or the others may or may not have said. And he claims he tried to talk the others out of killing me.”

  “He was there when they shot at ye,” he brooded now. “He should have fought them.”

  “Why? I have not been his friend for years. He has no allegiance to me. I barely know him.”

  “Ye were in my care,” he said in a low voice.

  She smiled softly at him. “So, ’tis you he betrayed.”

  He looked heavenward and let out a long breath.

  “I am not telling you to forget what he did, but I know there is room in your good heart for forgiveness.”

  “Good heart?” He laughed and shook his head. “My heart isna always good, lass. As a matter of fact, when I fight and kill, I would say my heart goes black.”

  She smiled as they walked back to the manor house. “We will work on that.”

  “Anythin’” he promised her. “I will do anythin’ fer ye.”

  She wanted to leap into his arms and let him carry her to her rooms. She would not invite him into the rooms and tempt him further.

  “Until I see ye tomorrow?”

  Perhaps it was best if they didn’t see each other. How could she tell him it was for his own good? How could she tell him anything when he brought her hand to his lips for a kiss?

  “Until tomorrow, my love,” she whispered.

  Was he going to kiss her? She’d prayed about it. She’d asked the Lord to let him kiss her again. It was so wonderful and thrilling.

  He looked into her eyes. “I love ye, Silene. Pray fer the time that is left to go by quickly.”

  She giggled. The next thing she knew, she was crushed in his embrace. His hand was under her nape and the other held her up.

  When he kissed her, everything seemed to lose its light. None of it was important. All she needed was him.

  He ran his tongue over her and pulled at her lower lip with his teeth.

  She wanted to know where he learned such things and what else he knew about what to do with his tongue.

  He kissed her softly and with rigid control. She had to call on all her defenses to break away from him. She did and turned for her door.

  Inside, she shut the door and had a fleeting thought to go find Father Timothy and confess these wanton thoughts to him. Elysande’s advice was to wed Galeren. She would if she could! Perhaps confessing to the priest was what she needed. These feelings certainly did feel sinful. Elysande said it felt sinful because it felt so good. Why did Silene think she had five babes and one on the way if it wasn’t pleasant? Elysande had asked. Silene could now understand why. And this, just from kissing!

  She looked at the large, masculine chair and her purple gown draped over it. She would wear it when she wed Galeren. She closed her eyes and prayed for the days to be quick.

  When she opened them again, she looked around Lucan’s room. She didn’t know what Galeren’s room looked like, but Lucan’s room was very warm and comfortable. She should stay here for the two days—away from the temptation of him.

  She had a duty to God to help Galeren fulfill his vow—and make a new one to her.

  She would stay here until the morning of her marriage. His aunts and female cousins would all help her if they knew why she was staying locked up in her room.

  Father Timothy would be here early to escort her to church for prayers. They enjoyed their mornings together when everyone else was asleep. But if he was opposed to coming into her room, she wouldn’t be praying with him.

  She would stay here and pray and rest.

  She undressed and, after a time on her knees, she climbed into bed. Her thoughts were filled with the captain. His laughter, his scent of woodsmoke, the sound of his deep, lilting voice across her ears, the sight of him surrounded by children and a kitten on his shoulder, playing with his hair. She thought of every moment with him until she fell asleep.

  And there, she dreamed of him.

  She awoke to a knock at her door. Her room was dark but a quick glance to the half-open window revealed the blue-gray haze of dawn.

  She’d slept late.

  She opened the door partway as she wore only her chemise. Smiling on the other side was Lionell.

  “Good morn, Miss Sparrow. I was goin’ fer a walk in the gardens and thought ye might like to join me.”

  “Good morn to you, Lionell. My apologies but I cannot. I am staying in my room until tomorrow when ’tis time to become wife to your brother.”

  “Are ye hidin’ from Galeren?” he asked. “D’ye not want to wed him?”

  “Oh, aye. I do want to wed him. Very much.”

  His autumn-colored brow fell for a moment but then he sighed and offered her a sheepish look. “Fergive me.”

  “Oh, but what for?” she asked.

  He held up his palm to stop her from saying anything else and let his gaze rove over her face. “Though I do find ye lovely, mayhap one of the bonniest lasses I know, I was only tryin’ to make my brother angry. I dinna know why. He would likely kill me.”

  She shook her head. “Nay, Lionell. He would not kill you.”

  “Lady, ye dinna know how he beats my arse—and that is when he isna angry!”

  Silene fought the urge to giggle. Perhaps it was Lionell’s brash but charming demeanor. The prioress would have fainted had she heard how often he used the word arse.

  “He wants you to learn how to defend yoursel
f. Who better to teach you than such a skilled warrior as your brother? My guess is you will grow weary of having your backside beaten and will learn how to fight back, and when you can fight him, you can fight anyone.”

  “Mayhap, I dinna want to fight,” he told her.

  “Do you want to live within these walls for the rest of your life, never to venture out again? Because, I can tell you that in just a few short days of traveling, we were attacked more than once.”

  He stared at her, looking like he might say something more. But he thought better of it and nodded.

  Silene felt sad for him and she felt sadness from him. But he’d had enough pity.

  “I’m just about to begin my morning prayers. Would you care to join me?”

  “In yer room?”

  “I will keep the door open.”

  He shook his head but then whispered, “Aye.”

  Smiling, Silene led him inside, left the door open and kneeled beside the hearth fire.

  After a moment of him probably fighting himself on whether to stay or go, he knelt beside her.

  Father Timothy shuffled down the long hall to the three doors at the end. He might be a wee bit late, but he was going as fast as he could. He liked staying active by walking though. It kept him young for his age of almost eighty years. He didn’t mind coming to the manor house to escort Silene back to church. He enjoyed their prayers together in the morn—so much that he neglected Cain’s son, Tristan, and his ten-year return to pray with her instead.

  She was a delight, thankful and joyous in prayer. The old priest felt revived and invigorated after his prayers with her. She was devoted to God and Galeren, and soon she would be devoted to the clan.

  He was happy she would be a part of the MacPherson family.

  When he came to the third door, he saw that hers was open. He peeked his head inside, about to call her.

  He saw her and Lionell by the hearth in prayer. Lionell. How had she managed that?

  He looked up. “Ye are good.”

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Galeren scowled at Lionell when his brother ducked and then leaped back avoiding Galeren’s strikes, then came back to punch his brother in the jaw.

 

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