“Never, lass. Ye’ll be my first.” His dark gaze searched hers.
First what? she wondered. He started to chant and nodded towards the paper he’d set in her lap. She brushed her worry aside. Fergus loved her, and she loved him. They’d be together forever.
Fergus smiled at her. A lock of black hair fell over his forehead. “Air to Earth, Fire to Water. Four become one. Do ya give me this gift freely?”
“I do.” She read aloud from the words he’d written for her. “My heart to your heart. My air to your earth. My strength to your strength. What was two will be one.”
The quartz clasped between their joined palms warmed, and Fergus threw his head back. “Yes! More!”
White hot pain sliced through her. A vise tightened around her lungs, and she pulled her hands away, the stone tumbling to the floor. She clutched her throat, desperate. Fergus’s face shimmered over her, so handsome she wanted to kiss those firm lips, the strong brow. “Let go, Catie. Give me yer air, and I will live forever!”
Her entire being railed. Choking, she fell, clawing at the floor, inching away from the man whose face lit up with glee. Fire burned deep inside, the void spreading through her chest, her arms, her legs, to her fingers and toes. She felt nothing but agony, heard nothing but the dull roar of her heartbeat in her ears, saw nothing but his eyes, glowing bright white. Darkness closed in on her, and he roared with laughter, his fists raised triumphantly, calling her element swirling around them both.
As her consciousness left her, his words floated in the air. “Two down. Two to go.”
Caitlin screamed, clutching at her heart. Her legs gave out when she tried to stand, but she crawled towards her suitcase, pawed through the folded clothing, and withdrew the object capable of such healing, but also such pain: a smoky quartz crystal.
Chapter Eight
Liam fastened the clamp around the ends of the multi-colored strands of leather. The weave eluded him. Time and time again, he tried, needing perfection and falling short. Why did it matter? She’d never see the piece. Never wear it. She’d made her rejection abundantly clear.
With a sigh, he ripped the thick threads from the clamp and threw them across the room. The leather landed with a thwack against his display case. One of the delicate wooden ships inside teetered for a second, then stilled. The models calmed him, allowed him to think and sort out difficult problems. But five years ago, he’d needed a new challenge. He’d picked up his first piece of leather and a swivel knife and started to design wallets, cuffs, and small purses. He sold them to a local artists’ cooperative on consignment.
His mobile vibrated in his bedroom. When the pack bought the house, they’d gutted the inside. Each pack member had a two-room suite: Liam’s took up the west side of the top floor.
Leaving his workshop, he trudged over to the bed. “Yeah?”
“Tomorrow morning, I need you to stop by before work. Be here by six.” Cade’s gruff voice barked out the order.
Before Liam could reply, the call disconnected.
Shite. He’d expected this. Ever since Caitlin had charmed the three of them, he’d known. Cade couldn’t trust him, and tomorrow, he’d ask Liam to step down as beta. He just hoped Cade wouldn’t also ask him to leave the pack completely.
Returning to his workshop, he stooped to pick up the unraveled strands of leather. A desperate need to leave her with some part of him lingered, and he carefully laid the strips of mahogany, auburn, chestnut, like her hair, and golden on the scuffed workbench. Breathe. Pull taut, gold over red, dark brown over light, tie off, repeat. Inch-by-inch, the cuff took shape. Halfway through, he fished a piece of amber from a bowl on the back of the bench. He’d drilled a hole, barely large enough for the thinnest strand of leather, at either end and threaded the chestnut strip through the resin. Amber served as a talisman, warding off evil spirits and healing pain.
The weave complete, he withdrew a flat, light brown piece of leather with a small pocket affixed to the center, designed to hold something precious to the wearer. Liam had nothing to give Caitlin that might be precious, so he tucked a folded square of paper inside.
Mo chuisle, mo chroí.
Midnight came, then turned into a distant memory. He sealed the weave to the cuff, fashioned a complicated button catch that should adjust slightly if he’d guessed the size of her wrist incorrectly, and finally, wiped the leather with a damp cloth and carved an image of a lock on the underside. One day, perhaps, she’d remember what that symbol meant, and if not, he knew and drew a small measure of peace from the work.
He’d take a long lunch the next day and drop the gift off at her apartment. And then he’d walk away. Try to put the pieces of his shattered life back together. Seven days he’d waited, and hoped, for her to reach out to him. And every day he’d fallen into bed disappointed and dreamed of her.
The next morning, he stumbled downstairs at six, late, buttoning his flannel work shirt as he went. Staying up until 4:00 a.m.? Stupid. Then again, he’d done so many stupid things in the past eleven years, one more didn’t matter. He’d face his punishment.
Tension hung thick in the air, had since last week. The pack all knew now: Bella lived, Liam had loved her once, and she’d rejected him. Ollie had dug the shards of crystal out of the dining room floor, cursing under his breath the entire time. Livie slapped him when she found out. Shawn glowered every time he came home. Even Serena didn’t want to be around him. The baby cried when he entered the room, probably picking up on the deep-seated anger from her parents. No one spoke to him.
He cast a longing gaze to the cold coffee pot and grabbed his gear. He’d leave for the job site as soon as Cade doled out his punishment. He had no doubt of the purpose of the meeting. Cade’s leniency over Liam’s betrayal, shirking his duties as a beta, his brawl with Peter…Liam deserved whatever Cade gave him. Expulsion from the pack? Probably not, but a possibility, nonetheless. More likely, Liam would be excluded from running with the rest of them on the full moon, told to take a vacation, go somewhere alone for a few weeks, to think about whether he truly wanted this life, this family. He did. He understood now how much he loved these wolves, even if his feelings for Caitlin chewed up his heart and left the mangled organ in pieces. He’d stared at that faded photo of the two of them, his only keepsake besides her suicide note, and thanked God that he’d kept both of them in a locked, fireproof box back in Bellingham.
He didn’t knock. Cade expected him. As he opened the door, the alpha’s angry voice carried down the hall.
“What the fuck do you mean, ‘you’re leaving’?”
Liam froze. What the hell? Shite. Mara? But…they’d mated. Mates didn’t fall out of love with one another. Elementals and werewolves shared a special bond. Their two beings had evolved side-by-side, and elementals felt the same, intense pull towards their mate as werewolves did. He’d researched elementals after Caitlin had fled from him, and Mara had confirmed what he’d discovered all those years ago.
“I can’t stay.” Peter. Though Liam hadn’t attended church in years—not since Caitlin’s death—he crossed himself and said a small prayer of thanks. And then let his anger start to simmer. He hadn’t seen Peter since their fight, and he hadn’t shifted, so he carried a few residual bruises. In truth, he didn’t want to heal the cuts Caitlin had tended for he remembered her touch, the gentle kiss she’d pressed to the bandage above his eye, and the scent of her, standing between his legs, close enough to—
“Why not? Give me a reason. And not some half-assed excuse like you’re not happy. That’s bullshit.”
Liam rounded the corner, and Mara, wrapped in a flannel bathrobe, her hair tousled, and dark circles under her eyes, handed him a mug of coffee. With a hand on his arm, she leaned in. “They’re both in a lot of pain, Liam. You need to fix this.” She picked up her own coffee and trudged back to the bedroom, shutting the door behind her.
Shite, she looked terrible—almost as tired and weak as she’d been after killing Katerina. Wee
ks had passed before she’d lost the haunted, dazed pain that day put in her eyes.
“I’m sorry I’m late,” he said, striding into the room and standing next to Cade, crossing his arms over his chest. Alpha and beta united, he narrowed his eyes at Peter. “Ya better think twice about runnin’ out on your pack, mate. Where’s this comin’ from?”
“As if you need to ask,” Peter scoffed. “Everyone’s got something to keep them here. Cade has Mara. Christine’s seeing someone—she won’t tell me who, Ollie loves his job, even when they fuck with his schedule, Shawn and Livie have the baby and his work, and now you’ve got that bitch who tried to kill all of us.”
Liam flinched. “If ya’d been around at all this week, ya might know that Caitlin wants nothin’ to do with me. But what about our business? Our friendship? Ye’re our brother, Peter. That’s not enough for ya anymore?”
Cade ran a hand through his shaggy locks. Scars on his bare forearms from Katerina’s torture caught the light. Peter, dressed for work in worn jeans and a faded flannel shirt, his safety vest belted around his thin frame, shook his head. “The job hasn’t been enough for a long time. The business was your idea. Not mine. I loved working in Bellingham. But I can’t climb the scaffolds any more. Supervising from the ground isn’t my thing. I hate the paperwork. Hate being trapped in the trailer while you’re high in the air. And you never noticed.”
“I’m a shite friend. Is that what ya want me to say? I know. I’m tryin’ to fix things. I’m here, yeah?”
“Too little, too late.”
Peter’s words slapped him in the face, and Cade banged his hand on the arm of the sofa. “You want to leave, you leave. The pack shouldn’t be a prison. But there’s no revolving door. You’re in or you’re out, so be damn sure what you want before you come to me again. If I release you, I won’t take you back. I’ve got to trust my family. And a wolf who’d abandon his family isn’t one I can count on.”
Liam nodded. “If ya ask, I’ll buy ya out of the business. But I won’t let ya run away ownin’ half the company. The pack depends on those profits. Take the day off. Think hard about what ya want. I’ll handle things on-site today.”
The hard stare Peter gave Liam answered his every question. He’d lost his friend. His brother. The wolf in front of him had changed since the fire and Cade’s abduction. And Liam hadn’t noticed. Sure, he’d thought Peter brooded a bit more now, didn’t offer jokes at the dinner table, barked orders on the job site with a hard edge to his voice, but he’d never realized the depths of Peter’s misery.
“Please, mate. Don’t do this.”
“I think…I have to. I’ll give you my decision at the end of the week.” Peter slunk out of the house, shoulders around his ears, and a tear glistening in his eye.
Cade sat, took a long drag on his coffee, and let out a low grumble. “This is your fault.”
“I know. I didn’t take care of them when we were back in Ireland. I should have seen it then.”
“Yes.” Another sip of coffee, and the alpha wolf raised his head. His eyes glowed with barely contained anger. “I’ve let things slide for too long. Recovering from what happened, almost losing Mara, getting settled in Seattle…I’ve carried that load alone. You know that, right?”
“I do. I’ll resign as beta if ya ask.”
Cade gestured to the love seat. Liam sank down and cupped the warm mug in his hands like a shield. Whatever Cade wanted, he’d agree to. He owed the man that much. Hell, he owed him everything. If Cade hadn’t pulled him out of the deep depression he’d fallen into after Caitlin’s “death,” he’d probably have killed himself years ago.
“I don’t want you to resign. I want you to be the man I relied on for years. The one who helped me lead them through Mike’s death. Mara needs me right now, and I need you. Reconnect with them, and do it quickly. Be the pack’s beta again. Join us on runs, and for fuck’s sake, apologize for the fiasco with Bella—Caitlin—whoever the hell she is. I’ve had all of them over here in the past few days demanding to know why you let her into the house.”
“Ya don’t want…?” Surprise thickened his words.
“You’ve been hiding for months. I figure forcing you out of that comfortable hole you’ve dug for yourself is fitting punishment.”
“Caitlin doesn’t want anything to do with me.” Saying the words out loud gave weight to the pain he’d carried with him since leaving her apartment.
“Can’t say I’m upset. But Mara told me something you need to know. Bella didn’t hurt her.” At Liam’s raised brow, Cade snorted and shook his head. “Pretty sure the look I gave her matched yours. But she didn’t. When Katerina kidnapped Mara and tortured her with the fire charm, Bella tried to help. More than once. Which is the only reason I’m allowing you this freedom. If you want to reach out, I won’t forbid you. I have every right, as your alpha, but you had a point. When I found my mate, I would have given up anything to be with her. Including the pack. You wanted to mate with Caitlin years ago. If you still want that, and want to try to make it work, I’ll support you. But only if you settle things with the pack first. Understand?”
“I don’t deserve your leniency.”
“No, you don’t. I got my life back. Even my wolf. And Mara’s the best fucking thing that’s ever happened to me. But I lost my brother somewhere along the way. Find yourself again, and we’ll figure the rest out.”
***
Caitlin hid in the shadows at the end of the street. The fiber that connected her to Mara knotted around her heart. Her memories solidly hers again, she owed the water elemental an explanation, and perhaps the information she had to impart would somehow make up for all the pain she’d caused.
Mara’s door opened, and Cade pulled his mate against him, kissed her until her cheeks flushed, and grinned. Caitlin called on a bit of her element and eavesdropped.
“Are we eating with the pack tonight?” Mara said, breathless.
“No. Liam needs to spend some time with them. Alone. It’s the only way he’s going to fix shit.”
“I love you.” Mara cupped the back of his neck. “You’re installing the new driftwood piece downtown?”
“Yeah. I’ll be home by three. I love you too, honey. Rest, okay?”
“I’m fine, now go!” With a laugh, Mara shoved Cade lightly.
When the alpha wolf turned the corner, Caitlin ducked out from her hiding place. All night she’d debated the risks, but she had to do something. Before she could knock or talk herself into running away, Mara opened the door.
“Come on in. I’ve been expecting you.”
“Uh…” Caitlin followed Mara down the hall and into the living room. “How did you know?”
“I’ve known every time you visited. The runes, the stones—I can’t explain it. Perhaps something left between us from Katerina’s fire—its thrall held you for years. And I have that power within me now. Have you studied witchcraft at all?”
“No. Or…at least, not intentionally. Katerina knew some, and she taught me the runes, the specific uses for quartz, howlite, amber, and jasper.” Caitlin sat where Mara indicated and wrung her hands together in her lap. “Are you okay?”
Mara lifted a shoulder. A lock of hair from the messy bun piled on her head fell over her eyes, and she tucked it behind her ear. “I feel good today. I’m tired, and I’m not sleeping well, but the fire is content. Now.” She turned her palm up, concentrated for a minute, and a tiny droplet of water coalesced and hovered above her palm. “I took a risk with that. The last time I conjured water, I got a deluge.”
A calm infused the room. The quartz. Caitlin withdrew her personal talisman from her pocket and handed it to Mara. “Does this help?”
With a sigh, Mara closed her hand over the quartz. “Oh goddess, that feels blessedly cool and centering.”
“Quartz absorbs evil, pain, and illness. You…need the protection more than I do.”
“I can’t take this.”
Caitlin flinched. Of course n
ot. Katerina had controlled Bella for years with a similar crystal. “I should have thought—I’m sorry.”
“No, no.” Mara clutched the stone to her chest. “I want to. But I sense your energy. This belongs to you, and I think…you’re in more pain than I am right now.” She extended her hand, and the look on her face sealed Caitlin’s decision.
“I know why you’re sick.” The words tumbled out in a rush, and Mara froze. “No one can absorb another’s element and stay…healthy.” Oh God. Everything she’d done over the past eighteen years led to this: Mara’s pain; losing, finding, and losing Liam again; the old woman…the young girl she remembered dying. Even her mum. She took a deep breath, and Fergus’s hold threatened to suffocate her.
“You mean sane.” Mara sank back against the cushions, the color draining from her cheeks. “You know what’s happening to me. The quartz, the runes hold the darkness at bay. But they won’t work forever.”
“I don’t know. But…I’m afraid you’ll end up like…Fergus.” Her breath heaved, the tears held back by her crumbling determination. Caitlin clenched her hands as a few strands of her hair lifted and fell, her element threatening to explode in a hurricane of emotions.
“Whoa, what are you talking about?”
“Fergus…took my element. Not like the crystal. Katerina channeled some of my power. The charm Fergus used stole a part of me. And not long after, he went insane. Batshit certifiable. He’s searching for a book that he believes will allow him to take all four elements and become ‘whole.’ There were other elementals, two I know of, probably more, that he killed because he thought they might have the book. One…God…one I helped with—I had no choice. You have to believe me!” The air swirled around her, knocking over picture frames, sending a vase crashing to the hardwood floor in an explosion of glass.
Mara scrambled over the coffee table and wrapped her arms around Caitlin. A rush of her element escaped, the gossamer between the two of them strengthening, pulling them closer, bonding them together.
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