“Those too. I want to know everythin’ about ya, luv. All the secrets ya wouldn’t share when we dated years ago. But there’ll be time for that once Fergus no longer has a hold on ya, yeah?”
She tried to pull away, but he held tight, drawing her arm over his chest to tuck her hand behind his neck. Caitlin couldn’t help her longing sigh as all of her spent and deliciously sore muscles trembled with the movement. How could she tell him they’d be lucky to survive?
“Caitlin?”
She pressed a kiss to the edge of his tattoo, to the tops of the craggy cliffs that stretched towards his collarbone. “He found me in Belfast, less than a day after I left you. I hadn’t seen him in more than three years. He’d changed so much. His eyes.” She inhaled Liam’s scent, and he worked a knot out of her neck with strong, slow strokes along the muscles.
“Catie, why did ya leave?” The sweet, singsong tone skittered down her spine. She preferred his voice when he yelled. The pain from his fists paled compared to the fear inspired by his contained rage. She backed into the dirty stone wall, trying to muster her element, but his hand shot out and tightened around her neck.
“I needed ya. Three years I spent locked away in that hellhole, drugged out of my mind. Ya put me there, yeah? Threw away the key?”
“No,” she gasped. “You disappeared. I waited…months…I thought ya died that night…fell into the sea. Please. Don’t punish me. I’ll come back with ya.”
“Bitch!” He threw her down, and her head slammed into the cobblestones. Dazed, she didn’t resist when he slung her over his shoulder and carried her to his car, parked in shadow a few feet away. “Ye’re goin’ to pay for yer mistakes. And then ye’re going to help me find my book.”
“What book?” Liam asked when she swiped at her tear-stained cheeks. His voice reverberated in his chest, deep and comforting, and she tried to force the fear away long enough to take a deep breath.
“An ancient primer on working with the four elements. Two exist, one for each set of opposing elements. Earth and air, fire and water. Fergus wants both, so he can absorb all four elements. He’s convinced he’ll reclaim his balance and be the most powerful elemental in the world. He’s probably right about the latter. I’ve little hope that anything will release the chains of his insanity, but I have to try.”
“Why? Stay here with me where ye’re safe.”
Could she tell him the real reason? “Fergus lost his hold on reality after he took my element. His insanity, the people he’s killed, the people he… made me help him kill.”
Under her, Liam tensed. “Who?”
She squeezed her eyes shut, unwilling to see the anguish in his voice reflected in his gaze. “After my air, he wanted fire. A young girl—no more than eighteen—met him on one of his benders in Shannon. He compelled her and brought her back to Lahinch, where he ‘convinced’ me—with his charm—to accompany them up to the cliffs late at night, in the middle of a storm.” Wiping away a tear that escaped her tightly shuttered lids, she forced a deep breath. “We formed a circle, the three of us, and he tried the same charm he’d used to take my element. But that charm worked for air, not fire. The terrified girl screamed bloody murder when her element fought him. Thunder deafened me, and a crack of lightning landed in the center of our circle, bright white and so hot. I think I passed out. When I came to, Fergus had disappeared. The girl…the lightning killed her.” She sucked in another breath and prayed she hadn’t just ruined the budding tenderness between them.
Silence, broken only by water pipes pinging in the wall and bass beats from one of her neighbors, filled the room, pressing down on them. His calloused fingers twitched at her low back and drew patterns on her skin, calming her frantic heartbeat.
“Ya didn’t kill the girl, Caitlin. Ya don’t have to sacrifice your own life to atone for his sins.”
“If I don’t take back my element, he’ll keep killing. Those deaths would be on me because I chose to hide here—with you—rather than stop him.”
“Why did ya go to Mara and not me?”
“If the books exist and Fergus hasn’t found them yet, the elders in Oregon might know where they are. I need one of the books to break the charm, but that’s not the only reason. Mara’s sick. She carries two elements…just like Fergus. I’ve caused her enough pain. Her, Cade, your entire pack. I need to make things right. If I can sever the connection Fergus and I share and take back my element, perhaps I can use the same charm to help Mara free herself from Katerina’s fire. But to do either of those things, I have to go to Oregon.”
“Then I’ll go with ya.”
“I can’t ask—“
“Ya don’t have to. I lost ya once because ya didn’t trust me. I won’t lose ya again.”
Caitlin shifted away, sitting up against the wall at the head of the bed and pulling blankets over her breasts. She needed the space—even a few inches—to confess her failings.
“When we arrived back in Lahinch, I tried to fight him, but he used my element against me.” Her voice cracked, and she held up her hand when Liam reached for her. “No. I have to get through this.
“Jealousy ate away at him—every time I smiled at another man or said hello, even passing by on the street, he assumed I’d taken a lover. You can only imagine his obsession with me after three years. You might not remember, but we fooled around a day before I left you. I had a…mark on my neck.” Caitlin pulled her knees up and hugged herself tightly. “He beat me bloody and demanded that I tell him who defiled me. I don’t know how I resisted him. I’d never been able to do so before, but after a week, the angry, violent man disappeared, and he turned sweet again. Apologized to me, brought me flowers, released the charms he’d layered, one on top of another, like suffocating blankets, and left as if nothing had happened. The hospital put him on meds. I think they helped, but still, his episodes came and went with the wind or the tides or the pull of the moon. If he used his element—or mine—for anything, he’d lose control, and the insanity would claim him for a day, a week, longer.”
“Did he”—Liam’s voice fell so low, Caitlin had to strain to pick up the words—“touch ya?”
“No. Whatever my element did to him, the instability, the desperate need for power, we never had sex. He never threatened me with anything but charms and his fists. I’m not sure he could do more. We kissed as teenagers, might have groped a bit, but never more.”
“Buíochas le Dia.” Liam cleared his throat. “Please let me hold ya. I can’t stand seein’ that sadness in yer eyes.”
With a shake of her head, she squeezed her eyes shut—as much for herself as for him. “As soon as he left, I wrote you the letter, posted it, and drove up to the cliffs. I’d intended to die. But my element took over and I floated like a leaf on the wind, landing in the water with hardly a splash. The current carried me south for a bit, and I came ashore near Kerry. I stowed away on a ship, used my element to compel a sailor to hide me below deck for two weeks.”
Caitlin pressed her hand to her belly. The memory of the waves and the stench of unwashed crewmen soured her stomach. “I snuck up top one night. The moon painted the water a brilliant gold, and I thought of you and what I’d lost. I didn’t think I’d ever be free. So I jumped. But this time, I didn’t try to save myself. I landed on my back—water’s hard as a rock. Bones broke. I don’t know how I didn’t drown. Katerina found me half-dead on the beach a few hours later, and the painkillers they gave me in the hospital made me loopy enough that I told her everything—except my name. She convinced me she could make all the pain go away, that she could protect me if I trusted her.”
“I wanted to protect ya.” Liam met her gaze, but she quickly averted her eyes, unable to stand the pain that tightened his features.
“I couldn’t let him find you, Liam. My own life hasn’t been mine since we worked that fucking charm. But you…if I died, he’d never find you, never hurt you. I died to save you. And that’s why I lied—tried to convince you I never wanted to se
e you again. You have a life here, a pack who needs you.”
“Do you need me?” She looked up at his question. “More importantly, do you want me?”
“I loved the man you were. I think if we had the chance I could love you again. Yes. I want you.”
“Then trust me. Ya said somethin’ to me that last day I didn’t understand. Elementals and werewolves have a long history. The words stuck with me, so I started asking around. Werewolves and elementals have mated before. And they’re always stronger when they do. I’m going to Oregon with ya, and once we’ve found the book, I’m going to help ya stop Fergus.”
“Why?” She knew, but needed to hear the words.
“Because I want the chance to love ya again, Caitlin Brannigan. Don’t take that away from me.”
Chapter Ten
Beneath the steamy shower spray, Liam’s hands stroked her breasts, smoothing the silky lather along her over-sensitized skin. Her nipples tightened under his talented fingers, and she pressed her ass against his hip. “If you don’t stop that, we’re never going to make it out of this apartment.”
“We’ll leave first thing in the morning,” he said with a nibble along the curve of her neck. “The storm’s too bad to leave tonight anyway. Driving along the coast highway, drunk on your body...I’d run us off the road.”
“I’m hungry.”
“So am I.” He slid his hand between her thighs, teasing, and sent a fresh wave of arousal shooting to her core.
“Stop it. Food. We need food.” She twisted, letting the hot water soothe her aching muscles. “I burn almost everything I cook, but I have peanut butter and jelly sandwich fixings.”
“Do ya still like Indian?” Liam massaged skillful fingers against her scalp, and she tipped her head back under the spray with a sigh.
“There’s a decent place around the corner that’s open until midnight. Oh God. Yes. Keep doing that.”
Too soon, his hands fell away, and he wrapped his arms around her waist. “Caitlin, can I take ya to dinner?”
His serious tone snapped her out of her sex-induced daze. “Like a date?”
He chuckled and cupped her cheek. “We did things in the wrong order, luv.”
“Anonymous sex, a fake name, ‘breaking up,’ more sex, then feelings? That’s wrong?”
With a crushing kiss, he reached around her and shut off the water. “What do ya say?”
“I would love to have dinner with you.”
They walked hand-in-hand down the block, the rain a constant but refreshing companion. “What do you like to do for fun?” Liam asked, glancing down at her. He’d left his hair loose, and tiny droplets of water glistened in the streetlights.
“I read a lot. The occult shop—Katerina’s shop—took up most of my time, but I had a cactus garden.” At his laugh, she nudged her shoulder against his arm. “You try planting lettuce in Phoenix. I took up running when I decided to stay here—though that started as a way to release some of the stress from hiding from your pack. I love the feeling of getting lost on the trails and greenbelts around here.”
“That’s it?”
Caitlin looked down at her feet, her boots making ripples in the puddles along the sidewalk. “I feed the birds on the roof of the building. And watch the planes go by when the weather’s nice.”
Liam lifted her hand to his lips and brushed a kiss to her knuckles. “Back in Ireland as a boy, I fancied models. Ships, cars…anything that moved. Workin’ on something so small and delicate requires a focus that speaks to the beast inside. Calms him, yeah?”
“When is the full moon?” Suddenly nervous about the risk of mating with him unintentionally, she looked up at the sky, kicking herself a moment later at the sight of the clouds.
“Four days, luv.” Liam squeezed her hand. “I won’t mate with ya unless we both feel the pull. It’ll be hard to keep my hands off ya that night, but I’ll let my wolf free and run until the moon sets. Ya have nothing to fear from me.”
She had a lot to fear from the tall, fiery wolf at her side. Falling in love, losing him to Fergus, the overwhelming tide of arousal that linked them together, and exhaustion—pure, blissful weariness, born of more orgasms in a day than she’d had in a year back in Phoenix.
“If we decided…?”
“We’d have to make love on the full moon.” He wrapped his arm around her, and the protective warmth of him soothed the ache inside. The urge to help Mara, the chains Fergus held that wrapped around her whole being, and the intense pull towards Liam, towards the man her elemental-self knew belonged to her, all combined and threatened to tear her apart.
At the restaurant, Liam held the door for her. She ducked under his arm into the quiet space, amber lights within stained glass fixtures chasing shadows from dark corners. Plush booths, done up in red velvet, surrounded candlelit tables, and a low, chanting melody twined with a sudden blanket of loneliness that shrouded her. Shaking off the feeling, she let Liam take her coat, and by the time he pressed a kiss to her neck, the sensation vanished completely.
She let the cushions cocoon her, keeping her safe from Liam’s playful hands. He hadn’t stopped touching her since the shower, and though she yearned for more, she needed space to think and to get to know the man she’d run from so long ago.
“Do ya trust me?” He glanced down at the menu briefly and met her gaze with a smile.
With dinner? Yes. Her heart? Her life? Caitlin chased the thoughts away with a sip of water. “As long as you make sure we have plenty of naan, yes.”
He ordered a list of dishes that sounded like he needed to fuel an army, but he’d always had a voracious appetite. They toasted with glasses of beer.
“To gettin’ to know one another?” Liam asked.
“I’d like that.”
Over plates of lamb vindaloo, chicken tikka masala, basmati rice, and a basket of naan, they exchanged touches, childhood stories, and discovered they shared a love of Newfoundland rock music, thriller novels, and fish and chips. By tacit agreement, they avoided any discussion of Fergus, Katerina, or Liam’s pack until dessert.
Dipping his spoon into a dish of mango pudding, Liam met her gaze. “Time changes everyone, luv. Ya had eleven years with Katerina, becomin’ someone stronger and wiser—and sadder. And I spent the past eleven years tryin’ to find my place. Failing, mostly. Cade runs a fine pack. He’s fair, and above all, he’s a good man. Mara’s what every wolf wants in their alpha’s mate: a good negotiator, a peacekeeper, and…a mother. I lost mine, ya know, two years after ya left me. Lost both her and my da. If Cade hadn’t been there, I might not have survived at all.
“There’s a lot ya need to know about those years. I wasn’t…a saint. Bedded a lot of women—knew few of their names. Lost days…weeks…to drink and drugs. Got the shite beat out of me more than once by my own packmates, anyone who’d let me pick a fight. But that’s all behind me now. I want to make a go of this.”
Caitlin eased the spoon from his hand and intertwined their fingers. “Be patient with me, Liam. I’m damaged. Fergus. Even Katerina. She loved me, but what I did…all because of that damn crystal…I don’t deserve you.”
“There’ll be none of that talk, luv. There’s so much more we need to discuss. I have my own darkness. I had a hand in the boy’s death—the one with Katerina. I drove Mara from her own house and into Katerina’s trap. And yeah, ya were there, but Mara told me what ya did for her. Ya kept her alive. Something good in ya won out over the evil.”
“How can you be so forgiving?”
“Have ya ever met an animal who held a grudge?” He chuckled, then squeezed her hand. “The wolf lives in me. He’s under my skin, all the time. Two halves of one whole. He has his own desires, his own fears, his own needs. He loves, as much as I do, or more. His instincts guide me. And he thinks ye’re a good person.”
Caitlin trapped her lower lip askew, searching for something in his gaze—understanding perhaps, or truth. Finding both, she swallowed past the lump in her throa
t. “I hope he’s right.”
***
“We’re closing in ten minutes,” the tired waiter told them as he dropped off the bill. Caitlin looked around: empty tables, chairs stacked upside down, blackened candle wicks smoking, all echoing the hollow sadness that filled her when her thoughts turned inward. Fergus. He’d destroy her if given a chance, and the foreboding mountain of fear towered over her.
“I’ll be right back,” she said and fled to the restaurant’s bathroom. A few tears escaped, hidden in the cool water she splashed on her cheeks. She’d lost the confident, strong Bella when Mara destroyed the crystal. But that woman couldn’t be gone forever, could she? Caitlin wanted her back. Not the amnesia, not the blind obedience or the cold heart, but the ability to fight and to hope, to believe.
“He can’t have my life,” she told the reflection in the mirror. The ghost of her past churned with silver streaks amid the blue of her eyes. Her element ruffled her hair. She could do this. She’d take back her power and perhaps restore balance to the boy she’d once cared for, now the man she feared. If along the way, she fell in love…or rediscovered the love she’d thrown away years ago…she squeezed her eyes shut and offered a prayer to the goddess. “Protect us.”
Fear beaten for the moment, she squared her shoulders as she headed back to Liam. The restaurant’s bar, empty save for a bartender wiping down the high-top tables, featured a television in the far corner, and the ocean waves flickering on the screen caught her eye.
No! Caitlin stumbled, crashing into a stool, and landed hard on her knees. Her voice croaked as she tried to call for Liam. Icy fingers tightened around her heart, squeezing, threatening to steal the last few, precious beats of life.
“Caitlin!” Liam rushed forward, picking her up and trying to turn her against him, but she fought, beating at his chest, tears gathering in her eyes. “What is it?”
“Look,” she gasped and surged forward, her hands flattening on the counter, eyes glued to the destruction on the screen. “T-turn it up, p-please.”
A Shift in the Air Page 9